Chapter 34

Elizabeth was still considering the same reflections when she retired after dinner. Mr Darcy joined her and found her on the windowsill staring out in to the darkening grounds.

He lifted her chin to look at him "what is the matter Mrs Darcy?" He said softly "don't think I haven't noticed your distraction at dinner"

"It is nothing," Elizabeth had thought about discussing such concerns with her husband but some of her mother's words kept plaguing her. She should not highlight her deficiencies to her husband. She knew that Darcy loved her but the idea that she might never be able to have children wasn't something that any husband wanted to hear. An heir was expected in society.

Seeing that Darcy wasn't fooled she made up something about a confusion with the bedroom allocations but she had figured it out and it would all be well. She apologised for being distracted and proceeded to use some underhand methods for distracting her husband so that he might not ask more questions.

Darcy noticed his wife's melancholy during the evening. He tried to think back on the day. They had not had any visitors that could have upset her. The only mail was from her sister bearing good news. Secretly Darcy was glad that Mr Collins was not to attend the ball. He was not sure his composure could bear two weeks in the same house as the parson. He had made a jest to this effect, expecting Elizabeth to join in. Had he offended her? Or was the ball too much? It had been all her idea; he had placed no expectations on her. Or had he? In encouraging her to seek Lady Matlock's council had he turned this from a small family gathering to the social event of the season. He resolved to talk to her when he joined her in their shared bedchamber.

When she had passed off her concerns he was not wholly convinced but the following activities left him with little thought besides how much he loved and desired his wife. By the time they had finished they were both too languid and content for him to want to broach a difficult subject again and he vowed to try the next day.

.

In the morning Elizabeth woke first. Both Mr and Mrs Darcy were early risers and would often wake together. The new light of day did help Elizabeth feel better but doubt still niggled at her and she resolved to be cheerful and face the day. It was not long until the family party would be coming. A matter of days and although she had most preparation well in hand there were certain things that could not be pre-arranged. Fresh flowers for the rooms and airings were to name a few.

She rose and dressed before Darcy had woken and he found her in her study, not long after, perusing a list.

"An early start Mrs Darcy?" He lent down to kiss her exposed neck inhaling her fresh sent as he did. Her answering smile was enough to encourage a lengthier intimate kiss which ended with a knock.

"Come in" Elizabeth grinned at the scowl on Darcy's face

Mrs Reynolds bustled in "the final room allocations you asked for Mrs Darcy. And I have passed your message to the gardeners to review which blooms might be cut over the next week to adorn the guest rooms, without leaving patches about the grounds"

"Thank you Mrs Reynolds. A great help" the two women smiled at each other before she turned to leave the room with a quick curtsy for Mr Darcy.

"Well you seem to have everything well in hand. Shall we to breakfast? I was hoping to take you out for a ride this morning" he glanced at her reaction and couldn't help but smile at the grimace.

Early on in her arrival at Pemberley Darcy had persuaded Elizabeth that riding would be the quickest way for her to get about the property. Some sights in Derbyshire were simply too far to go on foot and too hard for a phaeton. He had found her a tame mare as she had explained that her experience with riding was limited...

"We only had the one horse growing up and Jane rode so well she nearly always took preference. I was so happy walking that I did not argue. Kitty and Lydia also learned and showed more enthusiasm for it so my turn just never came about much. After a time, I became so unsure I never really wanted to. It's been so long now I'm not even sure my seat will be enough."

"My love. Ordinarily I would bow to your preference but I truly believe there are things you will miss out on for not trying. Please will you try? Your new mare is gentle and you will like her I am sure."

"To please you husband, I will try"

And try she had. Surprisingly the basics had come easily. Her seat and the rhythm of a walking horse. But she still found it scary and was becoming increasingly frustrated given her minimal progress from walking slowly on the mare. It didn't help that the ladies in Derbyshire all rode and the most proficient seemed to be the ones who had not warmed to Elizabeth yet. But she was continuing to practice and she would not show anyone other than Darcy her fear.

They did make it out for a ride and Darcy was pleased to see at she was managing to get the horse to trot and was coping with the motions well. He was warm in his praise and suggested a joint ride further afield sometime when there were no visitors. If she shared his horse she could get used to the faster gaits without needing to control it herself. She told him about her conversation with miss Carlston and the thought of riding astride. He laughed and suggested not whilst they were expecting visitors, but maybe in the future.