Apologies for the mixed-up chapter alerts, to anyone this may apply to.
Fair warning: I don't know if the last scene would be considered "graphic sex" per se, but the sex still gets graphic. In a 90s way. As well, maybe a little too drawn-out, considering it's essentially just a bunch of frottage. Can be skipped by reading until, "Is it all right if I just…will you let me touch you?"
Sasuke in this series is a bit, well...for the record, it is very okay in Sasuke's book. As for Naruto...oh, god, I'm just done. (O_O)
Something may have happened in Naruto's past to make him feel insecure about certain things (what that is, I don't know), but he tries to hide it behind humour. Also, I seriously did try (read: struggle) to keep this short...and failed. Miserably. Stole too much from other chapters because...I guess, but it really did get away from me.
I want to think it really is all very vanilla, sprinkled with a lot of silly, a bit of couplely-ness, a not so tiny smidgen of angst, but it always get so very...eh. I still don't like how that last part turned out, but Imma just leave this right here…for reasons. And while I will straight up acknowledge this is neither realistic nor makes any lick of sense, I will also pretend I never wrote it. Then go put myself in a corner.
…
"Is it all right if I just…will you let me touch you?"
…
Sólo Somos Tú y Yo
The physical act of sex itself doesn't necessarily have to be intimate. For him, sex has always been a casual thing, simply for the sake of doing what makes him feel good. That's why he likes it. Being sensitive may have something to do with how much he actually does enjoy having sex, but as long as he's able to get off, it's not really something that bothers him.
Finicky, is what Naruto likes to call him, which he can admit is true to some extent, although he personally prefers the term naturally selective; the fact that he likes being touched during sex doesn't negate any boundaries he's established outside of it, something Naruto still seems to have trouble comprehending.
"My hand has been down your pants, Sasuke. You will actually let me put my hand. Down your pants. But you won't let me sit next to you on the couch?"
"Because you're trying to sit next to me, while your breath still smells like that egg sandwich you had."
"My breath doesn't even—"
"Try to come anywhere near me with that mouth, and you will be on the floor."
"So I'm not even good enough to breathe near you anymore, huh? Is that it? Is that how it's going to be?"
"What're you doing, you idi—get off me, Naruto. You're too close. Let go before you make me—stop trying to breathe on—get your mouth away from me."
He's generally kept people at a polite distance, even more so in regards to sex, and in the past has tried his best to avoid any potentially awkward situations.
Still, he's had more than his fair share of second-hand embarrassment, usually from the types of guys too enamoured by the sound of their own voice, a little too full of themselves; mixed in with the ones who wrongly assumed he cared to hear their nonexistent relationship woes, when they were using sex to make themselves feel better, as if being a favourable comparison to whatever ex somehow elevated that single encounter beyond the status of a one-night stand; or even some of the guys who were overly attentive, almost tedious in the way they treated him, too swept up in whatever preconceived notions they thought having sex with him would entail.
At least most of the time it was still good.
As much as he enjoys sex, though, having a preference for guys doesn't mean he looks to any guy he comes across in a sexual sense. There's always been a clear distinction between his sex life and other aspects of life; with anyone he's met through school or work, anyone he may regularly see in passing, even if they've approached him for sex with no strings attached, they don't fall into that category of guys he'd choose to sleep with, simply because the best way to avoid those kinds of potential conflicts is to not become involved altogether.
Sex is sex, and that's all he's felt it ever needed to be.
As well, most of the people he ends up spending time around are guys, anyway, and the small group of friends he's made since coming to Tama, the majority of them are guys, too.
Guys like Kenji, who from when they met that first day in so many ways reminded him of Itachi, and Shikamaru, who became his friend well before he and Naruto were even close to being on a first-name basis.
While there are things he does admire about Kenji and Shikamaru, because of who they are as people, on different guys physical traits that would normally appeal to him (especially considering Kenji used to be pretty well regarded on campus for having model good looks), in the years they've known each other, he's never held any sort of sexual attraction for either of them.
His friendship with Suigetsu is an exception, the only exception, when Suigetsu used to be his roommate and before they actually became friends, what began as fling simply extended out of convenience, sex that helped take off the initial edge those first couple weeks at Tama, after being away from his entire family for the very first time.
Between his sex life and his personal life, those are two aspects that normally don't overlap, have no reason to clash like the sight of Naruto in that god-awful, orange bomber jacket he wears entirely too often, in Naruto's wardrobe only one thing of far too many Sasuke is just biding his time for the opportunity to burn.
And when that defining moment came, when those two very distinct aspects of his life did collide, walking in on the sight of a shirtless Naruto doing one-armed push-ups in the middle of the living room, surprise didn't quite cover it.
He was a little horrified, maybe, a growing part of him that much more determined to remain in denial, but mostly just left in a daze, because the idea that Naruto could be seen an even remotely, sexually attractive, it came straight out of left field.
The same Naruto who drowned nearly everything in Kewpie mayonnaise and always slurped his Cup Noodles too loudly, the same clumsy Naruto with the amazingly spectacular ability to trip over air.
He'd truly been blindsided, completely and utterly blindsided.
It happened during a visit to the apartment Naruto and Shikamaru used to share, because it was Friday, the day of the week Naruto had suggested they start doing drama nights, and that Friday Sasuke brought a copy of Iris that had been forced on him by Karin.
There was nothing building up to it, no gradual indications to warrant or even in the slightest prepare him for the sudden realisation that he actually did in fact find Naruto sexually attractive.
He'd seen Naruto without a shirt before. Numerous times he'd seen Naruto shirtless and sweaty. Too many times he'd had a sweaty and shirtless Naruto hanging off him, with an arm draped over his shoulders, a smelly Naruto who would just give him one of those easy, simple grins, squeeze him close a little tighter when he complained about Naruto bothering him instead of taking a shower.
Before that Friday, he'd thought nothing of it.
But the timbre of Naruto's voice, low from the back of his throat, between controlled breaths the very edge of his words drawn hoarse, deliberate every inhale and exhale with each slow bend of his arm, each time he slowly pushed his body away from the floor, Naruto careful to maintain his form, his other arm held behind his back—a back Sasuke suddenly discovered a newfound, not so subtle appreciation for.
Still standing near the entryway, he was just staring.
He couldn't stop staring.
For a moment, he was convinced, in those few seconds he found himself unable to look away from Naruto's upper back, transfixed watching Naruto's muscles flex, he was perfectly convinced he was suffering some sort of quarter-life crisis that he was going to blame entirely on having a heavier course load than last term.
But when Naruto asked him for a favour, when Naruto actually said, Come sit on me, and then did absolutely nothing to clarify it by adding, I want you to sit on me—something inside Sasuke's brain just broke.
(In reality, Naruto wanted the extra weight on his back for a few sets, to help him train for that ridiculous bet he'd made with Kiba, because of course Naruto was still an idiot, and Sasuke refused to have an actual discussion about him sitting on Naruto's back.)
Somewhere in the back of his mind, lodged in the part of his brain that wasn't broken, he had acknowledged Naruto wasn't necessarily unattractive. He'd seen girls approach Naruto before, sometimes bold enough to flirt with him, often times only to end up blushing and turning away as soon as Naruto smiled at them. Naruto was already a likeable person in general, with a personality that was naturally engaging, but he was also the incredibly boyish type, the kind of guy who seemed more approachable than most.
And yet, even after coming to terms with having a physical attraction for Naruto, more than just a passing notion of sex with Naruto, or this sudden, staggering concept that maybe Naruto did sort of tick off all those boxes for a type he never even knew he had, came the realisation that he wanted to have sex with Naruto.
He already had a comfortable ease with Naruto. Everything that seemingly came along with their relationship as friends, sharing the kind of closeness he'd never really had with anyone outside his family, applied to his idiot-turned-best friend-still-idiot, the emotional bond was there.
That, he could handle. That didn't seem so unreasonable anymore.
But having the element of physical attraction on top of it, and wanting more than just casual sex with Naruto, finally, it hit him that he liked Naruto.
Liked Naruto enough that he actually wanted to pursue that kind of relationship with him.
Because Naruto had already become one of the most important people in his life.
…and he didn't know if he'd be able to go back to a time before him.
Asking Naruto to share a place together, he doesn't even know where that came from, because it was when things between them were still strictly platonic, and to take that chance, at best how everything about them could change if Naruto turned him down, at worst if Naruto decided to step out of his life, it was such an incredibly impulsive thing that he normally wouldn't do.
But he's still the one who did it.
He's the one who kissed Naruto first, even if only to put a stop to that hackneyed yawn-and-stretch manoeuvre he still can't believe Naruto had seriously tried to pull on him.
He's the one who asked Naruto out for their first date, the one who wanted to take him to Shibuara, because it was a part of himself he really did want to share with Naruto.
But their first time having sex, that was Naruto.
One moment, they were having a regular conversation, Naruto standing close to him, nothing out of the ordinary. Then, the back of his legs were hitting the edge of bed, and Naruto was pushing him down, crawling over him, on his hands and knees peering down at him.
And when Naruto asked him if it was okay, he said yes.
It started off slowly, for that first minute or two Naruto lowering himself to slide against him, trying to cover him with the entirety of his body.
But once Naruto started to get a feel for it, started to get a feel for him, something in Naruto just seemed to click.
Despite how adverse Naruto wasn't to all the kissing and touching up to that point, it was obvious he'd been holding back, but he still had urges, too, just like any other guy, so it wasn't surprising when Naruto finally did act on them.
He just didn't anticipate how strong those urges would actually be.
Whether it was ten minutes, five minutes, however long it lasted, the entire time, Naruto wouldn't let up, wouldn't give him room to think, barely any room to move, just kept going at him nonstop—hands seemingly everywhere within reach, touches unremitting, Naruto trying to consume every part of him all at once.
There were no breaks in between, just these slower intervals, and every few seconds Naruto would draw out it a little more, press further against him with small rotations of his hips, still quick during each shallow, deliberate thrust, chewing on his bottom lip, concentrating only on him.
And just as soon Naruto would pick it up again. Gripping Sasuke by the waist, pushing down on Sasuke's shoulders, keeping Sasuke's arms against the bed, holding them out at Sasuke's sides, throwing them over Sasuke's head—Naruto panting above him, head thrown back with his eyes shut, in between Sasuke's shudders rolling his hips, changing the angle of his thrusts to match the way Sasuke moved, in time with the very way Sasuke breathed, driving down on him harder the higher Sasuke's gasps came, as if he were trying to sink into him, pressing against him deeper each time Sasuke said his name.
When it was all said and done, they still had their clothes on.
And he was still reeling from it, when Naruto rolled over to lie down beside him still trying to catch his breath, limbs loose, face flushed, spent but very much sated, despite being a little uncomfortable still wearing jeans, settling well into the really nice kind of sex-induced haze.
"…sorry, I…wow."
"Mm-hm."
"Me and you, we just…"
"Mm."
"Was it…"
"Mm."
"I just had my first time with a guy, and that's all you have to say?"
"…yeah."
Naruto snorted. "You were kind of quiet, though. For some reason, I thought you'd be really loud in bed."
Sasuke gave a careless toss of his arm, flinging it somewhere in Naruto's general vicinity, wilfully closing his eyes to Naruto's loud cry of pain at the hand that ended up smacking him in the face.
"Mm."
Since then, they've stuck to kissing and heavy petting, overall a lot of touching, eventually worked their way up to include handjobs.
He knows Naruto doesn't have any reservations about the physicality of it, not after being smothered in his sleep on too regular a basis, having woken up enough times nearly squished by Naruto plastered against him, his own self-professed blanket snoring too loudly in his ear. The penchant for contact, Naruto's tendency to invite himself into his personal space, that hasn't changed between them.
Yet the jump from having casual sex, to having an actual relationship, his first relationship—sex is something he can do.
It's something that comes easily, doesn't make him second-guess himself, doesn't make him feel so very out of place every time Naruto does the simplest thing, so many times all these little things that just seem to come effortlessly for Naruto, but seem to always leave Sasuke stumbling, the way Naruto looks at him sometimes that leaves him wandering what it is in him someone like Naruto could possibly see.
Of course, he misses having other types of sex. Compared to how often he used to have sex, how much he likes being touched, masturbating can only take him so far, and he can't say it wouldn't be nice to be able to do more, but he wants Naruto to be comfortable.
He doesn't mind waiting for Naruto to take the initiative, doesn't mind going along with whatever pace Naruto sets, because he doesn't want Naruto to put pressure on himself to be someone he's not.
The things they haven't tried yet, he knows Naruto isn't necessarily opposed to them. As easy-going as Naruto is most of the time, he's always been serious during those conversations they talk about sex, and while he was a little hesitant initially, eventually, he began to ask more questions, about the mechanics of it, what was typically expected; unsurprisingly, though, most of what he knew was based on broad assumptions about how sex was supposed to work between two guys.
The relationship side of things, after Sasuke kissed him, Naruto didn't seem to think twice about it, and really, there isn't that much of a difference because most of what they do now is what they were already doing before.
Yet for all the shameless, ridiculously corny things Naruto likes to say, while looking into his eyes all those senseless declarations Naruto likes to make, it's a little amazing to see such a normally brash and straightforward guy get so flustered over something like sex.
But it's also one of those things on a growing list of too many, more and more he doesn't mean to find so endearing.
One of those things that's also become a way to get back at Naruto for being such an embarrassing idiot, because he knows Naruto says all those ridiculously corny things to embarrass him on purpose, so, when Naruto was comfortable enough to start talking about different positions, said he wanted to know what kinds of things he thought about doing, Sasuke wasn't going to deny himself the opportunity for retaliation.
"You know," Naruto said, "if there's something you really like to do."
"Something I want to do to you?"
"Yeah, I mean, just to get an idea."
"What I want to do to you, Naruto…" Sasuke reached for the front of Naruto's shirt, with a loose hold gathering the material in his fist, gently tugging Naruto closer toward him. "I want to hold you down."
"Y-yeah?"
"I want to know how it feels," he whispered, beneath Naruto's gaze drawn to his mouth breathed soft over Naruto's lips, close enough to brush but not quite enough to kiss. "…when I'm top of you, the way you'd feel beneath me, what it'd feel like, Naruto, to hold you down while I'm taking you inside me—that's what I want to do."
Naruto shot off like a light, his entire face burned red, already scrambling to the other side of the couch, nearly falling face first toward the floor in his rush to get away. "Sasuke, you—I can't believe you just—"
"You asked me what I thought about doing. And I told you."
"Yeah. Yeah, I did, but someone like you shouldn't be so casual about saying something like that so freely."
Sasuke gave an amused snort, trying to curb his laughter with a smile. "Naruto, are you—are you really that embarrassed?"
"You are not the kind of guy I expected to hear saying those kinds of things."
"That I want to hold you down?"
"No, Sasuke—no. But yes, that, too."
"Or is it because you're actually thinking about me riding you, and the way I'd feel when you're being taken inside me?"
Naruto made a pained sort of choking noise, a strange mix between a dying whimper and a mangled wail, on the verge of keeling over in embarrassment, trying to hide behind his hands, trying—failing—to cover the blush that travelled all the way to his ears. "Why do you keep saying such careless things so carelessly?"
Sasuke just grinned, extending his leg and pressing the heel of a sock-clad foot against Naruto's thigh. "So what, you're hard. We're both guys. It's not like I mind."
Naruto dropped his arms to reveal a pointed glare. "There was nothing about this in our permanent roommate clause." He grabbed Sasuke's ankle, making a show of moving Sasuke's heel away from his lap, instead letting Sasuke's leg rest over his knee. "You did not prepare me for this side of you."
"It's no secret you get erections, Naruto. I've woken up with you poking me from behind often enough. And if that's the kind of thing you like to think about…"
Eyes slightly narrowed, Naruto held up his chin, despite his peevish sniff hands absently massaging Sasuke's lower leg. "…somehow, I feel I was a much purer person before I met you."
Naruto's overdramatic tendencies and baseless claims of so-called purity aside, by no means is Naruto new to sex. Although he's never tried anal, it's not as if he hasn't had penetrative sex before, like he hasn't already done a lot of things before, during the relationships he had in the past.
However, by Naruto's own admission, in his past relationships he's often been labelled too nice a guy, unexpectedly the too considerate type, because his personality can come across a little strong, which, up to a certain point, Sasuke could see; Naruto tries too hard to set himself apart, tries to make the biggest impression by being the loudest one heard, yet as open as he may first appear, there's still a lot of himself he purposely chooses not to show.
He can't really say he had any expectations going into a relationship with Naruto, since he didn't have anything to compare it to. Naruto leans more towards unpredictable, anyway, because Naruto's just…Naruto. And with sex, there's no sure way beforehand to know what to expect from someone, but even during sex people can respond differently to the same things, so it's just something Sasuke's learned to get a feel for in the moment.
He just doesn't know what Naruto's so self-conscious about that he feels the persistent need to hold himself back.
Considering how long it took for him to willingly acknowledge the fact he was sexually attracted to Naruto, the kind of sex he's not having now isn't exactly a dealbreaker. Plus, Naruto's never been sexually active with another guy before him, so a lot of it really is new to Naruto, and he's not going to begrudge him for that.
Although sometimes, even when it's mostly just kissing and touching, right before Naruto starts to really get into it, pushing him down and pressing against him, he'll pull himself back. As to why, the most Naruto will tell him is that he doesn't want to get too carried away.
Beyond that, the reason for Naruto's inhibition, whether it's nerves or what, he hasn't tried to pry. And he won't. But he'll listen when Naruto wants to talk about it.
"I mean, that's just what it is. I don't know how else to put it."
"I won't be able to help you unless you tell me."
"But the problem isn't that I don't want to touch you. The problem is that I do want to touch you. Really. The things I think about doing to you, Sasuke, I think a lot about doing the things I want to do to you, because there're a lot of things I want to do."
"I'm not seeing how this is a problem."
"…it's not fair that it's always the quiet ones. Why does it always have to be the quiet ones?"
"If you want to touch me, Naruto, I'm not the one holding you back."
"That's not really helping me."
"I keep telling you. It's fine. I don't expect you to be a certain way. Whatever you're comfortable starting with, we can do what you want."
(The within reason was already implied, heavily implied, and certainly not carte blanche to get carried away, but it won't be until later on, that Sasuke will truly appreciate the forewarning for what it actually was, because so easy, so very easy will it be to get caught up in Naruto, to get carried away right alongside him, and so very quickly will Sasuke learn that Naruto's somehow the bashful kind of closet pervert who manages to get turned on by the most seemingly innocuous things.)
Despite how Naruto portrays the idea of him getting too carried away, it's nowhere near as bad as he seems to think it is. As abrasive as Naruto normally may come across sometimes, from those few times during sex when Naruto wasn't holding back as much, Sasuke wouldn't even necessarily say that he's rough.
If Naruto were into it, though, he wouldn't mind. He's not a stranger to that side of things. Guys who preferred it, or thought sex between guys automatically equated to being rough, he's been with those types before, whenever he was in the mood.
But Naruto, he's…rather than rough, Naruto's intense.
That's the only way to describe it.
The same infuriating idiot who used to call him Himiko-bastard, the presumptuous dumbass who actually tried to demand that Sasuke accept his apology for breaking the shinai he still kept referring to as a shaman stick, the painfully senseless guy who kept trying to apologise for that mortifying scene he'd made in Green Hall—through one of those notes they used to exchange insults, in his near illegible scribble the same Naruto who once suggested Sasuke should take calligraphy because he thought Sasuke's handwriting was really nice.
Since that very first day Sasuke couldn't stand him, Naruto's always been intense. It's apparent in the way he carries himself, how he acts, how he speaks, nearly everything about him that's unmistakably Naruto.
Sometimes, it can be a careful intensity, when Naruto forgets to be impatient, when blue eyes darken, make Sasuke the sole focus of an idle fascination, an unexpected kind of discernment he's still not used to, those moments not so few and far in between where he's caught Naruto simply staring.
Rarely has it come close to that almost visceral intensity from the first time they had sex.
It's the side of Naruto that doesn't come out often, the one he seems self-conscious about, at odds with the part of himself he continues to hold back because he's worried about getting too carried away.
And he can admit that side of Naruto is still a little overwhelming, although it's definitely nothing he's going to complain about. Naruto's an overwhelming guy most of the time, anyway, and that side of him is simply a more acute version of the same kind of intensity that's already part who he is.
Yet when Naruto doesn't hold back, it's not that he loses himself completely in the moment. The careful intensity is still there, but there's also this heightened sense of awareness, how he moves with his body, the way he somehow responds to seemingly every little thing Sasuke does.
But then he'd stop, closing his eyes and dropping his head, shoulders bunched, forcing out breaths through clenched teeth, forcing himself still.
That side of Naruto, he could probably goad it out of him if he tried.
He already knows how to push Naruto. Although it's mostly been unintentional, without having to say much he's gotten Naruto to do not so few things. When it comes to sex, he's already started to pick up on what Naruto likes, noticed certain things he does that Naruto's more sensitive to, and the places where Naruto tends to touch him most, how Naruto responds to the way he moves his body, when Naruto's pressed up against him the way he's learned to move with Naruto.
Despite Naruto's uncertainty, there's still this desire to provoke that side of him.
That terse restraint, the visible strain that takes hold of Naruto's entire body, at the simplest touch can make his breath shudder, at even softer the touch mark along his skin shivers, if Sasuke slowly draws his hands down the back of Naruto's shoulders, the way Naruto tenses, pressing down with his knuckles digging further into the sheets, as Naruto's muscles flex and pull taut traced beneath the tips of his fingers, and if Sasuke starts to raise his hips, slowly lifts himself closer stopping short of brushing against him, the way Naruto seems to just tremble—he wants to break it.
Having that kind of sway over Naruto, knowing how much Naruto can be affected by him, he wants it—he wants that side of Naruto, wants to push and keep pushing until it's his, wants to incite Naruto as much as he wants to deny him, gradually allow him back closer, far enough keep himself only just out of reach, allow Naruto just close enough so he can bring Naruto to his knees.
But it's still part of wanting Naruto to be comfortable, in the sense he doesn't like to see Naruto beating himself up over it, because that side of Naruto is still part of who he is, and the things Naruto thinks about doing to him, really, he wants to know about those, too.
Until that happens, though, for now, Sasuke won't try to provoke that side of him.
For now, he's just trying to resist the temptation to grab the nearest pillow so he can suffocate Naruto with it.
"Because you look like you're going to eat me alive."
"I look like I'm going to eat you alive."
"You look like you're going to eat me alive."
There's the slightest twitch to Sasuke's left eye.
"Not that I'm saying it'd be the worst way to go, but…"
"I like having sex."
"…I think I'm starting to get that now."
"And I like having sex with you."
"Which is, uh…that's really, um…" Naruto starts to squirm a little beneath Sasuke's plain stare. "It's just, usually, before, you weren't the kind of guy to be so…"
"We weren't having sex before."
"…n-no."
"And since this is something you asked me to do, Naruto, I don't mind doing it for you."
"This is how I'm going to die, isn't it? You really are going to eat me ali—"
"Were you always this shy about sex?"
Sasuke turns his gaze to Naruto's lap, to the front of grey and red boxer briefs, where earlier Naruto placed his hands in a vain attempt to cover the erection Sasuke had already seen.
"Don't look at it."
Sasuke blinks.
"Being around you makes me think of very unpure things, okay."
"Meaning, you're hard. The thought of me going down on you gets you hard."
"Yes," Naruto hisses, by the sheer force of his glare alone seemingly trying to will Sasuke to look anywhere else other than his lap.
"Yet after you kept trying to convince me you were ready to try oral, when I finally agree to do it," Sasuke says, giving Naruto an odd look, "you don't want me to?"
"Jeeze, when you put it like that…" Naruto's cheeks tinge red, and he turns his head to the side, not quite sulking.
"It's a simple yes or no, Naruto." Sasuke reaches over the side of the bed, placing the unopened condom in his hand on top of a small, white nightstand. "This isn't the first time I've offered to give oral, but when guys said yes, they usually weren't so quick to close their legs."
"Oh, my—" The pinched expression that comes over Naruto's face looks especially strained. "Can you please, please, not talk about you going down on other guys in front of me?"
"Either you want to do it or not. And if not wanting to do it means you're not ready to try something yet, you're not ready. That's fine, too. Even for me, despite having had sex with guys before, it still took time to get used to idea of wanting to have sex with you."
"…again, that's really, really not the kind of thing I need to hear right now."
"My point is, you're being stupid over sex. It's just sex, Naruto. Stop trying to make it into a problem it doesn't have to be."
"And what makes you think I have a problem with it?"
Despite what outward appearances may suggest, Naruto's actually a pretty intelligent guy, without having to be the smartest person in the room, yet there's something remarkable to be said for Naruto's particular brand of especially stupid, for Naruto having both developed and mastered so many varying levels of idiot, from the explicably simple-minded, to the astonishingly tactless, all the way to the most perplexing and incredibly inane.
The fact Naruto actually had to nerve to even ask what made Sasuke think he had a problem with being given oral, that falls somewhere a little bit further to the far right of in between.
"Because you keep closing your legs, Naruto—that's why I didn't bother opening the condom, because you keep closing your legs.
"I haven't even touched you, much less tried to put a condom on you, and yet every time I've tried to get closer, you keep closing your legs—what part of the fact that you keep closing your legs is supposed to make me think you don't have a problem with me going down on you?"
"I can't help it if I'm nervous, all right," Naruto huffs, as if he has the right to look so offended, crossing his arms with one hand resting at his hip, placing his other hand over his shoulder, holding himself like he's somehow the pinnacle of virtue. "Someone like you taking advantage of my inexperience, putting my chastity at stake."
The irritable twitch returns to Sasuke's left eye, alongside the increasingly tempting temptation to suffocate Naruto. But he doesn't need to waste time grabbing a pillow.
He'll just go straight for Naruto's neck instead.
"You're acting like no one's ever gone down on you before."
"Girls, yeah, but those times weren't the same as…" Naruto pauses, as he begins to lower his arms eyes growing wide when it dawns on him what he said. "I mean, wait, Sasuke—that didn't come out right. That wasn't what I meant to—"
"It's fine." Sasuke sits back with a sigh, running a hand through his hair. He folds his legs beneath him, laying both arms over his lap. "You don't have to force yourself for my sake.
"I already told you. If you're not ready to try certain things, it's not a big deal. I've never had a problem waiting for you. And I'm not going to push you into something you're clearly not comfortable with."
With another sigh, he lowers his gaze, closing his eyes.
He's not really upset, a little frustrated maybe, but not because of sex. It's the resurfacing of all those lingering, self-imposed doubts, that whatever this thing is between them, there'll eventually come a day Naruto will remember how to let him go.
Even with how far they've come in their relationship now, despite all those senseless things Naruto still likes to say, it hasn't quite disappeared, this so very daunting, seemingly impossible notion that Naruto won't always be there, but…
"…just don't do that to me, Naruto. Don't keep asking me to do these kinds of things, when you know you're still not comfortable with it, and then change your mind about wanting me to do anything for you at all just because I'm a gu—"
Suddenly, the world begins to tilt, and he feels himself falling, opens his eyes to find himself caught in Naruto's arms.
When his back hits the bed, a hand grabs him by the chin, squeezing his cheeks to coax his mouth open, and Naruto's already there on top of him, canting his head to cover Sasuke's mouth with his own, breathing in Sasuke's shaky exhale and trying to swallow him whole.
There's a hand that reaches underneath him, slides down to grip the back of his thigh and pushes his leg open, and he feels his lower body being lifted, brought closer Naruto's, before Naruto thrusts down against him, holding him against the bed, Naruto still kneading his cheeks and kissing him, pressing further into him with the sharp sway of his hips.
And then suddenly, Naruto's weight is no longer on top of him, immediately pulled away from him, and Sasuke blinks.
"…why'd you stop?"
He licks his lips, peers up at Naruto still bent over him, Naruto's hands planted on either side of him, but Naruto won't look at him, head bowed, hair shadowing his eyes from view.
"Because I don't want you to think I'm…"
"Naruto?"
"…it's just a lot, you know. And I don't know what to do with it sometimes, when I'm around you, these urges I get, to just…"
Naruto swallows, lightly shaking his head.
"It's kind of funny that, uh, for the longest time, I didn't think you could ever like me back. And then I really didn't want to mess with what we already had. As close as we already were before, I didn't want to lose that.
"Some of the guys, Kiba was always the worst, but the way even Kenji liked to rag on me—" Naruto starts to laugh a little, a low sort of chuckle, and yet somehow it's an unfamiliar sound, the way it makes someone like him seem so small. "They all used to give me so much shit about how much I liked you, about how much I somehow couldn't seem to just tell you.
"So, I like being close to you, being able to be with you like this, that you even let me do these kinds of things with you."
Naruto's mouth forms the traces of a smile that already begins to falter halfway through.
"And I know how comfortable you are with sex, that you really do like it. But whenever we talk about it, it's always about the things you can do for me.
"I get that you're trying to make me comfortable, because it's still new to me, except it feels like I'm making you do everything. And I want to be able to do things for you, too.
"But then I'm still afraid I'm going to mess up, because the way it feels sometimes, how much it hurts to be this close you, how empty it still makes me feel when I just look at you, even when I know you're right here in front of me, when the only thing I have to do is reach out just to be able to touch you, sometimes, it never seems like enough.
"I know it's only been a few months, and a lot of this is new for you, too, but if I ever…if I did anything to make me lose you, Sasuke, I don't think I…"
Naruto breathes in slowly and breathes out with a heavy sigh. "So, yeah, maybe I am holding back a little when it comes to this side of things, but that's why I…"
"…tell me what you want to do."
Naruto blinks, with a nervous sort of surprise finally looking up to meet Sasuke's eyes. "Is it all right if I just…will you let me touch you?"
"I never said you couldn't, Naruto."
"Okay, then, um…what we talked about before, you said whatever I feel comfortable starting with?"
"Yes."
"But you'll tell me, though, right? If I do something wrong, or if I do something you don't like, you'll let me know?"
"I will."
Naruto pushes off from the bed, sitting back on his heels with a short exhale. "You always say I'm too touchy-feely, anyway, so…"
Letting one knee fall open, Sasuke leaves his other leg up, arms bent laid out at his sides, elbows near parallel to his shoulders, palms raised, fingers lax, watching Naruto lean down towards him.
He breathes in softly at Naruto's hands placed over his hips, closes his eyes with a softer exhale at the careful pressure against his sides, Naruto's hands sliding against his shirt, pushing up slowly, wandering across his chest, fingers already moved to grab and squeeze at his waist.
He raises his arms above his head. As Naruto continues further down, he drags his teeth over his bottom lip, as Naruto's hands trail a path curving down between his legs, starts to push back with a slight motion of his hips, lifting from the base of his spine with the small arch of his back, into the small rise of his chest, pushing forward from his stomach to roll into his hips, meeting the hands running along the inside of his upper thighs.
Naruto stills with a prolonged inhale, releasing a breath that comes out a little uneven. "Do you mind if…"
There's a gentle nudge against his side, a hand prodding from underneath his back, and Sasuke lets himself relax, opening his eyes to see Naruto watching him closely. "You want me to turn around?"
"Yeah, like…" Naruto climbs off from over Sasuke, sitting back on his heels to give him room, as Sasuke begins to shift and push up from his hands. "Like that, just…"
Arms reach around Sasuke, while he's still turned on his knees, and he lets himself be pulled back, brought between Naruto's legs, held against Naruto's bare chest, as Naruto begins to stand on his knees, lifting Sasuke to stand with him.
Naruto widens his stance, aligning him nearly flush against Sasuke from behind. His left hand trails up Sasuke's chest, fingers splayed following up the column of Sasuke's throat, moving to cup Sasuke's chin, carefully squeezing, kneading again, before he covers Sasuke's mouth with his hand.
"It's not that you're a guy," he murmurs, thumb stroking Sasuke's cheek, his right hand slipped from beneath Sasuke's arm, slipping beneath Sasuke's shirt, tugging at the wide elastic band sitting at Sasuke's hips.
"Really, it's not."
He only pushes forward a little, makes sure to keep the front of his legs touching the back of Sasuke's thighs, barely even pulls away with the slightest movement of his hips. His left hand continues to trail lower, sliding down over the front of Sasuke's briefs, and he gives a measured thrust, a tight, controlled motion drawn out slow from the small, fluid arc he creates with his hips.
"…not in the way you think."
A small gasp catches in Sasuke's throat, at Naruto's hand rubbing against him, softly gripping him through the material of his briefs, Naruto for a moment still against him, still pressing into him from behind, and Sasuke closes his eyes, breathing out into Naruto's other hand held firm over his mouth.
"Because I really like touching you. Being able to feel you like this…"
Slowly, Naruto starts to rock into him, slides his hand back over Sasuke with each deliberate thrust, reaching further down with fingers to slide beneath him, when Sasuke starts to move with him, hand already slipping in and out from between Sasuke's thighs.
"Even doing this feels good, you know." Naruto starts to squeeze him, carefully flexing then relaxing his fingers, hand curving downward, as he continues to thrust against Sasuke, his fingers again slipped back down underneath him.
Sasuke reaches his right arm across his chest, holding on to his side, reaching out with his left hand to hold on to Naruto's right wrist, shuddering against him as Naruto begins to move faster, Naruto drawing his hips back further, trying to press against him deeper, breathing hard against the back of his neck.
Sasuke holds on to him tighter, gasps muffled by the hand still covering his mouth, as he rolls back with his hips, meeting Naruto's thrusts from behind, being thrust against Naruto's left hand, starts to sway in small circles pushing up from Naruto's lap and rubbing himself against Naruto's palm.
Naruto jerks forward with a grunt, as Sasuke continues to move against him, holding himself still. His hand over Sasuke's face lowers to grab Sasuke's chin, thumb rubbing at the corner of Sasuke's mouth, marking wet trail across Sasuke's bottom lip.
Sasuke reaches with both hands for Naruto's right wrist, guiding Naruto's arm around him, holding Naruto's hand at his waist. With his left hand, he reaches behind him, steadying himself with fingers clutching at Naruto's side, trying to bring Naruto closer, Naruto still hard pressed against up him but not moving behind him.
He starts to isolate his hips, pressing himself down at an angle against Naruto's lap, creating smaller and smaller motions raising himself back up, letting out a soft moan as he slowly starts to pull away, when he hears a loud hiss behind him, as he pushes back into Naruto with wider rolls of his hips, arching his back a little deeper, sliding himself up slow, coming down Naruto even slower, barely brushing against him.
With a low groan, Naruto starts to rock into him, breathing through clenched teeth. The hand holding Sasuke's chin tilts back his head, exposing his neck to Naruto's breath hot against his skin, Naruto's nose brushed below his ear, and Sasuke leans back into Naruto's chest, closing his eyes and resting his head against Naruto's shoulder.
Naruto starts to slow down with his thrusts, just pressing carefully into Sasuke, chest moving against Sasuke's back as he inhales deep, simply breathing Sasuke in.
"Like this, Sasuke, just…"
Sasuke lets go of Naruto's waist, placing his hands on top of the arm tightening around him. He sighs at the mouth gently pressed against his neck, full lips leaving soft kisses along his skin.
Slowly, Naruto lowers his hand from Sasuke's chin, pulling his arm from around Sasuke and reaching with both hands to grab Sasuke's waist, drawing his hips back, and then bringing Sasuke towards him.
Sasuke drops his head forward, unable to hold back a soft cry when Naruto starts thrusting against him, at the hands squeezing his waist, holding him still while Naruto pushes against him.
He reaches behind him, reaching underneath Naruto's arms trying to hold on to Naruto's hips, as Naruto starts to thrust harder into him, breath hitched during each series of quick thrusts, and each time Naruto slows, rubbing himself over Sasuke, then repositioning his hips, lining himself directly behind Sasuke, before gradually starting to roll forward into him again.
"Just letting me do this to you..."
Naruto's hands steal beneath Sasuke's shirt, roaming over Sasuke's stomach, travelling back down past Sasuke's hips, following the inward curve leading down between Sasuke's legs, and Naruto spreads his palms, hands framing the inside of Sasuke's upper thighs, fingers pushing up against the seams of Sasuke's briefs.
Sasuke throws his head back when Naruto starts to pick up again, Naruto's hands gripping his thighs, with a softs gasps coming out faster as he's being pulled back towards each of Naruto's thrusts.
Naruto keeps going, doesn't stop, right hand still gripping Sasuke's thigh, while with his left he grabs the corner of the oversized pillow hanging off the edge of the bed, tossing the pillow in front of them, pushing it farther up the bed, and then he's using his body to push Sasuke forward, moulding himself against Sasuke's back, pushing him down all the way over.
Sasuke catches himself with his elbows, landing on top of the pillow that cushions his chest, Naruto leaned over him, bracing himself with his left arm outstretched, hand planted above Sasuke's shoulder, still on his knees thrusting against him, straddling Sasuke close from behind.
Right arm still beneath Sasuke, Naruto's already reaching down between Sasuke's legs, curving his hand to slide underneath him, taking Sasuke's weight against his palm, using his hand to prop Sasuke's hips.
Sasuke clutches the top of the pillow with both hands, elbows held close to his sides, shoulders bent forward close to his arms, as he starts to thrust against Naruto's hand, head turned, pressing his cheek into the pillow at Naruto thrusting straight down into him, stuttering through sharp cries at Naruto's fingers rubbing in circles against him, Naruto stroking and squeezing through Sasuke's briefs before his hand goes still, when Naruto starts rolling into him from behind, pushing up with downward thrusts, Sasuke being pushed further up the bed, further and further into Naruto's hand.
Soft gasps come out higher, and Sasuke turns his other cheek into the pillow, opening his right leg, leaving his knee slightly bent to the side, giving himself more room as he rolls his hips against the curve of Naruto's palm, into Naruto's fingers again rubbing against him, pressing up from underneath him, moving from side to side between the inside of his thighs, before Naruto pulls his hand away, sliding his arm from beneath Sasuke.
But he's already sitting up, steadying himself over Sasuke with both hands spread out in front of the pillow, changing the angle of his thrusts, and Sasuke fights back another sharp cry, lifting his head and pushing back into Naruto, keeping his lips pressed together, rocking himself against the bed, Naruto panting above him, right next to his ear, driving down against him deeper each time Sasuke moves to meet his thrusts, pushing Sasuke right back up against the bed, and Sasuke lowers his cheek back into the pillow, fingers still clutching, still holding on, mouth fallen open with soft cries near whispers of Naruto's name, as Naruto starts to speed up his thrusts, picking up harder, sharper, faster and faster—until Sasuke goes still beneath him, holding his hips down against the bed, tensing with a series of shaky breaths that makes Naruto stop with a single hard thrust.
And he just holds Sasuke there, pressing further down against him with a gruff moan, breathing in through his teeth, breathing out with a shudder, releasing a another low moan when he starts to ease up.
Sasuke begins to loosen his grip on the pillow, laying his elbows out to the side. He lets himself relax, letting out a quiet sigh, as Naruto starts to move against him again, with an unhurried sway of his hips, tiny little motions that gradually become larger, Naruto spreading himself over him, pressing just enough into him to move Sasuke with his hips.
Bringing his right leg in closer, Sasuke slowly unbends his knee, leaving his feet apart, drawing out another quiet sigh, as Naruto begins to press into him a little more, moving back into Naruto with the slightest roll of his hips, keeping Naruto's easy pace, from his lower back creating a small arc pushing up to meet Naruto's hips mid-sway.
And then Naruto's pushing off from his hands, raising himself off Sasuke and shifting farther back on the bed, standing up on his knees, widening his stance, legs on either side of Sasuke's hips. He starts to lean forward again, sliding his hands along Sasuke's arms, over Sasuke's wrists, as he continues to bring himself lower, covering the back of Sasuke's hands with his own.
"Just being able to be close to you like this, Sasuke…"
Naruto's hands slide back down Sasuke's arms, holding them down to the pillow.
"…if I just want to touch you."
He brushes his hips over the small of Sasuke's back, long, smooth thrusts gradually pushing up the edge of Sasuke's shirt, gradually revealing more of Sasuke's skin. Slowly, he starts to work his way down, slowly tracing a line eventually leading him to the top of Sasuke's thighs.
"If I just want to feel you..."
He takes his time making his way back up, stopping below the wide band of Sasuke's briefs. Shifting back, he lifts his hips, lowers them as he moves forward, barely skimming the thin material covering Sasuke's skin.
He keeps the movements small, draws them out a little longer, shallow thrusts that make Sasuke move against the bed, and he ducks his head, breathing against Sasuke's nape, at Sasuke's soft inhale lightly pinching Sasuke's skin between his teeth.
"…can that be okay, too?"