A/N: This was a really hard chapter to write. In fact I was stuck on the end and I wrote the next chapter as I figured out how to end this one. It's completely Nathan centric and while I know you all are clamoring for Naley, it's important to the journey. And like I said, the next chapter is written and it does have some pretty good Naley. I think you'll enjoy that. I appreciate all the feedback and for sticking with me. Leave me love and enjoy :)

PS: I've been watching season one of OTH the last few days. I had forgotten how slow that season is building all the relationships. So forgive me because some of the lines/ scenes are sampled in this chapter. I felt it fit pretty nicely though.

Without Your Noose

"Nate! Dude, hand me that wrench over there!"

Nathan rolled his eyes and easily swished the ball through the hoop in front of him. Cooper rolled out from under his truck, his body covered in grease and dirt and held up his hands. Quickly, he got up and stomped over to his toolbox and dug through it until he found the wrench. He then promptly threw hit at Nathan, hitting in the back of the knee before it clanked on the cement.

"Cooper what the hell?!" Nathan spun around and chucked the ball at his brothers head but it landed on his shoulder. Cooper didn't even flinch.

"I asked you to help me. Get your head out of your ass!"

"Dad told me I wasn't supposed to do anything but this." Nathan informed Cooper looking at the goal in front of him.

He was fifteen at the time; his hair was buzzed cut and his skin was bare of tattoos and free of piercings. The hardest loss he thought he ever had to go through at that point was his denial to play in the junior leagues. It would take him a time more to realize that having a mother who didn't register your existence and a father who abhorred it was wrong but to Nathan it didn't seem out of the ordinary. Just simply his life.

"You're such a daddy's boy." Cooper scoffed walking back to his truck. "He's not even in the same state as us."

"And you're such a mama's boy." Nathan retorted. He sunk the ball easily into the basket. Cooper dropped his tools back into the chest and looked at him seriously. "What?"

"Come on. Let's go for a drive."

Nathan laughed. "Like I trust that clunker to drive."

"How about," Cooper walked to him and snatched the ball out of Nathan's hands. "if I land this goal, we bail on the torture, I mean training session." The ball gently glided through the net and Cooper pumped his fist in victory. He fished the keys out of his pocket and tossed them to Nathan. "Come on."

"I don't even have my permit yet." Nathan protested as he easily caught the keys. Cooper fiddled with something under the hood of his truck and shut the lid. He went and sat in the passenger seat and shrugged his shoulders as he waited for Nathan to get it. Finally after a few moments Nathan tossed the ball in the back of the truck and slid into the driver seat. "Where are we going?"

"Doesn't matter." Cooper kicked his feet up on the dashboard and leaned back. "Let's go kid."

Half an hour later, Nathan was still driving and Cooper was singing horribly off key next to him. He had never operated so much a toy car. His father had been training him his entire life how to move his feet on the court and he could flawlessly. At the beginning of their journey he couldn't even figure out that he shouldn't use both feet. This major milestone and his dad hadn't even remotely taught him anything about it. Even with the static of the radio, the off pitch of his brother's singing, and the wind blowing through the open windows it was the most quiet Nathan had experienced; well ever. His world wasn't in turmoil and it was the most time he had spent with Cooper in quite some time.

His reverie was broken by a loud banging from underneath the hood of the truck and plumes of white smoke blocking the windshield. Cooper directed Nathan to the side of the road and hopped out once they had pulled over. He motioned for Nathan to pop the hood and once he did Nathan joined him in front. Nathan watched fascinated for several moments as Cooper tinkered with the engine's components all the while cursing under his breath.

"Don't worry. We can fix it." Cooper assured him after taking in Nathan's perplexed look. He walked around to the back of the truck and pulled out his tool bag.

"We?"

"Yea." Cooper nodded, dipping his head under the hood. "Hand me that red screwdriver in there."Nathan wordlessly handed the tool over to him. "Get in here kid, you're not going to learn anything standing way back there."

"Did Dad teach you this?"

Cooper smirked. "What do you think little brother? The only think Dan taught me was how to tear everything apart." when Nathan didn't respond, Cooper set the tool down and wiped his hands on his shirt. "You know me. I like to see how things work. So I take it apart. Unlike our sperm donor however, I like to put it back together."

Cooper spent the next two hours showing Nathan the inner workings of his truck. He showed him how to check the oil and transmission fluids and how the connections on the battery worked. Eventually he was shown how to fix the busted fan belt that had caused their roadside mishap. Nathan slid out from under the car and stood up, dusting the dirt off his back.

"What's all this about?" Nathan finally asked. He was a kid but he wasn't stupid. He and Cooper didn't quite 'bond' this way. It usually involved parties and drugs and girls. This was something completely different.

Cooper slammed the hood shut and hopped on top of it. "I got offered a job."

"Doing what?"

"Fixing race cars." Cooper leaned back, his eyes squinting against the high sun. "It's in Bristol, Nate. Virginia. I leave in a few days."

"So you decided to play daddy for a day?" Nathan spat. It was no secret that Cooper wanted out of Tree Hill and especially out of their parent's lives. But Nathan had always naively though that Cooper was going to be around for the long haul regardless, if nothing else as a buffer between Dan and himself. Mostly he was afraid of who was going to look after him now.

Cooper cocked his head to the side. "Nathan, you and I are never going to have a father figure in our life. We have Dan. And today, I just wanted to show you that not everything has to be about him or about Mom or even about me. You're going to have to start living your life at some point. Do what makes you happy. Eventually, all you will have is yourself. "

Nathan and Cooper had returned back to reality later that day. They had faced the wrath of Dan together when Cooper had informed him of his impending departure. After Cooper had left, life got a lot harder for Nathan and he found himself counting down the days until when he returned for visits. He couldn't fault Cooper for taking a way out but he also couldn't help but resent him. It was a turning point for him because with Cooper's absence he didn't start living his life, he just simply started existing. It seemed like the easiest way of coping.

He sighed before opening up the gym doors and stepping inside. The last few months was the only time he felt like he was truly living his life. Haley, of course had a huge part in this shift. But basketball, something that was so engrained into his entire being was finally starting to be something he could express as a part of himself. And while this morning had left things up in the air as far as if he would lose Haley, the other part of himself, he knew he could still try and save basketball.

"Nice, isn't it? A lot of people like their gyms loud. I like mine like this: quiet, clean... kind of like a church. A lot of praying done here, anyway." Whitey had his back turned away from Nathan as he walked up. When Nathan reached him, the older man turned around slowly. "Got something on your mind?"

"I've never been to church." Nathan picked up the basketball on the floor next to them. "I'm not even sure I stepped foot into one. But I have been to a sanctuary. The river court, this gym that's what they are to me. Basketball is the only thing I believe in anymore."

"When I coached your daddy," Whitey took the ball from Nathan's hands and spun it gently around in his hands. "I had never seen someone so in tuned to the game; so connected to the ball. But he couldn't connect with the team. That's where you differ. You haven't been here very long, but it seems to me that you just molded right into rest of them. Don't you think you at least owe it to them to show up?"

"Look, I don't want to make excuses anymore. I know how much this means to them, and to me. I'm here now aren't I? I just, want to make things right. I haven't stopped practicing. I've been with Q every day. Coach, I need to play tonight. Not just for me." He paused searching for the right words. It felt good to fight for something that he loved. "I finally feel like I'm a part of something and I don't want to let anyone down. Get the ball in my hands and I'll get you and my teammates the championship they deserve."

"Is it what you deserve?"

Nathan mulled over that question for a beat. "I'd like to think that all the suffering I went through with basketball has brought me here. It's been a long and pretty tough journey. I think I have the talent because I earned it, not because Dan made me." He looked at Whitey dead in his eyes. "Yes. I deserve this. Basketball has always seemed like a burden I was supposed to carry. But when my feet hit this gym floor last week and every time that ball hit the rack, it felt good. I felt apart of something. I want to matter in this life. Right now, I do."

x-X-x

Nathan approached the boys locker room with much the same apprehension he had approached the gym earlier in the day. It was after school now and while Whitey had given his blessing to play in the championship game that night, the rest of his team had not. He knew he had Q and Lucas in his corner but he didn't know if his betrayal of Damien was going to have any sway on the rest of the team.

Squaring his shoulders, he stepped into the lions den sucking in his breath as the boys in front of him stopped what they were doing to stare at him. At this point, he didn't know if they were gawking because of the spectacle he had with Dan or because of how much he had dicked over his teammate. It was probably a combination of the two he decided.

"Nate." Q nodded, being the only one to acknowledge him personally. He gave Nathan a questioning look. "What's up?"

"You guys invited me here." Nathan started taking a step forward. He watched as Damien slipped on his practice jersey and sat down on the center bench between the lockers before finally looking at him. He quirked up an eyebrow, giving the Nathan the go ahead to continue. "I don't know any of you personally. In fact, I've tried my damnedest to stay away. To me, the whole concept of this seemed ridiculous."

"Well there's the door." Jake, someone who had mostly stayed in the background spoke up. "I have no where near the talent you have. This isn't a really anything for me but a game that I love to play with people who I care about. But they do care about this. If this is silly to you, then just go. We made it this far without you."

"Please." Nathan pleaded. "Let me finish. I know alright? You all saw me my first practice. I haven't ever had to share a ball. I'm not going to go deep diving into my past; you saw what happened the other day and with all the rumors about me, I'll let you connect the dots. I had given up a long time ago of being a part of a team; of doing anything really at all with basketball. I'm here now though, and I want to be a part of this team. If you'll have me."

Everyone first looked at Damien. He had remained quiet and stoic throughout Nathan's groveling. Finally he stood up taking heavy and deliberate steps towards Nathan. He thought for sure that he was once again going to get punch, a punch he would willing take if it meant that he could show the team how serious he was about stepping up. When he finally reached Nathan he simply grabbed his shoulder in camaraderie and went to exit the locker room.

"Enough with the tea party ladies! We have drills to go over!"

"Welcome back." Lucas smiled, he too patting Nathan on the shoulder. "It's good that you're here."

Quentin stepped up to him after all the other guys had either bumped fists with Nathan or shook his hand. "You going to throw up again?"

"Nah." Nathan chuckled. "What's there to be nervous about when you've got my back?"

"Exactly! And we've got yours." Quentin threw his arm around Nathan's shoulders. "Man, we're just going to blow it up tonight!" he playfully shoved Nathan. "Come on. Get your lame ass in gear and get out there."

Walking back out into the gym, Nathan almost felt like it was the first time all over again. Whitey was screaming at the guys but he could tell it wasn't stressful. Everyone seemed like that were just just having a good time. They were prepared; they had been working their entire high school career for this night. Now it was time to just enjoy spending it with the people that they cared about, the same ones who had been pushing each other for greatness. Nathan felt honored to be a part of it.

"Are you Nathan?"

Nathan spun around to a man behind him. The blonde jogged up to meet up with him tucking his clipboard underneath his arm and extending his other hand. "Yeah, I'm Nathan."

"I thought so." the man grinned eagerly. "I'm Clay. Clay Evans. It's good to finally see you in person. I can't wait to see if your video did you justice."

"Video?" Nathan parroted, his brow kinking in confusion. "What video?"

"Clay! Dude, you made it!" Quentin was next to them, shaking Clay's hand and pulling him into a hug. "I'm glad you came."

"We'll see." Clay conceded reluctantly. "Did you get those papers sent off yet?"

"Monday. Things are just crazy busy right now." Quentin looked apologetic. "Hey, you sticking around for the game?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

"Awesome. I'll let you get back with Nathan." Quentin knocked fists with Clay and jogged back to the court. "Catch you later!"

"Quentin sent me a video of your game last week." Clay explained after a moment. "It was a good game Nathan."

"Okay? Are you a reporter or something?"

"No. Nothing like that." Clay laughed and motioned towards the bleachers. "I'm a recruiter for the Southeast division of the NCAA. Basically I go around and scout for the colleges and universities. I then present them with their options and then they go after who they want."

"You make us sound like cattle." Nathan retorted sarcastically and Clay laughed again.

"Quentin warned me about your, wit, if you will." Clay stated. His face got serious after a moment. "Have you thought about your future Nathan? Applied to any schools?"

Nathan was caught completely off guard. There was little in life that surprised him but this was definitely not something he had really considered a possibly. Is father had told him that basketball was the best thing that could ever happen to him but had never allowed him to have it. Now that he was experiencing it he hadn't really entertained the thought that it would ever take him out of Tree Hill. He was just finally enjoying the game.

When Nathan didn't respond, Clay sighed. "I thought so. Look, I showed your footage to Kentucky. They're really interested. One of their potentials joined the military and dropped out. They have some free money. You would still have to apply and get accepted but they want you. They see great potential in you and Quentin."

"I haven't even been playing that long." Nathan ran his hand through his hair. "This is only my second game."

"Nathan, I've been doing this for a long time. I trust my instincts. My gut has never let me down." Clay remarked. They both looked out on the court, watching the team shot. "The first time I saw Quentin, I had never been so excited about anyone I had ever found. I've been watching him for a few years; from the shit courts he played on in Charlotte to the river court here and the playoffs last year. Last year when they lost the playoffs, the way he played was like poetry in motion. Watching you two play last week was like stumbling upon a book a sonnets. It was incredible to watch.

"I know this may seem really sudden and out of the blue to you." Clay continued, watching Nathan's face for a reaction. "You don't even have to believe me. But Quentin sees something in you too and I'm sure he's not the only one." he dug out some papers from his bag next to him and handed them to Nathan. "Here's an application. Just see what happens. This could be a great opportunity for you."

Clay walked down the bleachers, shook Whitey's hand, waved to Quentin and exited the gym. Nathan gripped the papers in his hand so hard that they crinkled in his hand and his knuckles turned white. He had spent so much time before Cooper died living in the past; his parents and Cooper's and after wards never thinking about the future that the prospect of it now seemed daunting.

"Never pegged you as a matchmaker." Nathan remarked stepping in front of Quentin and motioning for the ball. Quentin didn't say anything in response. "Thank you."

"Well if we don't work on your weak ass fade away Kentucky's not going to stay interested" Quentin tossed the ball at Nathan to which is easily caught. "That, and how you freeze when you get boxed into a corner."

"I don't freeze." Nathan dribbled the ball between his legs and laid it up into the basket. Quentin just once again looked at Nathan pointedly. He sighed. "Fine. Teach me your magical fade away ways all mighty Quentin."

"Thank you." Quentin bowed dramatically. He looked past Nathan's shoulder then and frowned. "Shit. Incoming."

Nathan turned around and slumped his shoulders. "You just can't take a hint can you Dan?"

"Relax, son." Dan grinned strolling up to meet him. "I'm just here to wish you good luck."

"I don't need luck Dan. I have everything I need right here." Nathan motioned with his hands from his heart and down his body to his feet.

Dan held up his hand and grabbed Nathan's with his other one mirroring them palm to palm. "Son, those are my hands." He brushed Nathan's shoulders from his neck to tops of his arms. "These are my shoulders, broad and strong.' He then looked down. "You're knees give you trouble from time to time, right? I see my knees never change. Your shoes are size 13. It's a bitch buying sneakers."

Nathan forcefully pushed himself away from Dan. "Yeah Dan. All those things I inherited from you. I have to live with that every day. What I don't have to live with are your mistakes in what you did with them."

"Tell me, do you see me when you look in the mirror?" Dan taunted, smirking. "Do you hear me in your voice, in your laugh? What about when I say 'Haley', does that sound like you?"

It took everything in Nathan to root himself in place. He had wanted to hit his father many times throughout his life, but never so much as he wanted to hit him right then. It was just games and manipulation with Dan and Nathan was slowly realizing that whatever power Dan held over him was all given to him willingly by Nathan himself. He had exploited his own weaknesses through Nathan and it was time for that to end.

"No Dan. I don't." Nathan spoke evenly and deliberately. "This stops today. This presence you continue to have in my life. You may have given me life, but I'm not letting you take it away from me anymore."

"Do you really think it's that easy?" Dan questioned, amusement flickering across his face. "Tell you what, I'll play you one on one. You bring your best game. If you win, I'll leave you alone." Dan removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He loosened his tie and removed it over his head, tossing it with his jacket on the bleachers. "I'll even give you ball first.

Whitey looked as if he was going to protest but Nathan held up his hand and looked his father square in the eyes. "First to fifteen. Win by one."

He checked the ball to Dan and he caught it once it was returned to him. The next several minutes were filled with them battling head to head, shot for shot. Nathan was impressed that even after all this time his father could still play the game as if he was still a kid in his backyard. Dan shoved a hard elbow into Nathan's torso and the younger Scott fell to the ground as the older one laid the ball into the goal. Quentin extended his hand to lift Nathan up as Dan wiped the sweat from his face with the back of his arm, a satisfied smirk planted on his face.

"No foul. Point counts." Nathan ran his jersey over his face and squared off next to his father. Dan nodded in approval. They were tied now; if Nathan got the next point, it would all be over.

"I had to do it son. You have to know that you'll never be better at this than me."

In response, Nathan popped the basketball from Dan's hands and chucked it over his head. He couldn't help but smirk when Dan ducked and cowered. Nathan wasn't aiming at him, but at the case that hung on the wall above him immortalizing his jersey. The glass shattered around them and Dan's jersey fluttered to the gym floor.

Nathan pushed past Dan and picked up the jersey. His fingers traced the dual 3's stitched on the back of fabric and across the letter of the last name that he too possessed. He clutched the neck of the jersey and pulled at it, ripping it down the center in two pieces easily. He found great solace in the horrified look on his father's face at the desecration that had just occurred. Nathan tossed the shreds of fabric in the air like confetti.

"You don't deserve my best game Dan. You never did."