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Chapter Thirty Six- In a Dream

Leila couldn't sleep. It was cold and she was shivering. She was so tired but she felt that even if she did get to sleep, she'd just have terrible nightmares and end up alone in the dark.

Alone…

She shuddered. One of her worst fears was being alone, with no one to care for her, and no one for her to care for. Maybe that was how James felt now?? But no, he has Lily. Lily will stay with him and she won't leave unless she knows that it's better for him that way.

And Sirius would do the same for me. Said the reassuring part of Leila's mind.

So she wasn't alone… Still shivering from the cold, she snuck out of bed and tip-toed out to the hallway and into Sirius's room.

He was on his side, his legs sprawled across the mattress. His face was relaxed and peaceful in sleep. Leila almost didn't want to wake him.

She reached out and gently stroked his cheek with the back of her finger. He frowned in his sleep and his eyes fluttered open. Leila pursed her lips guiltily as he stared blearily up at her.

"Leila?" he asked, his voice tired and confused. Leila had to smile at the look on his face. He was so cute… "Am I dreaming?" He asked suspiciously. Leila smiled again and shook her head.

"I was cold and couldn't sleep." She said quietly. Sirius frowned.

"Cold? It's bloody boiling in here." Leila shook her head to disagree, then shivered for effect. Sirius smirked at her, though his eyes were soft. He lifted up the side of his duvet and scooted over. Leila sighed in thanks and climbed into the bed beside him. Sirius slid his arms round her waist and pulled her close. He was warm, and, Leila realized, topless. But that didn't matter now.

"I didn't like being alone." She whispered fearfully. "I was scared."

"You're not alone." Sirius promised, taking a lock of her hair and tucking it gently behind her ear. "I'm here."

Leila snuggled closer and buried her face in his shoulder. He tightened his arms around her and Leila began to relax.

She wasn't alone, and she knew now that she could sleep in peace.

X-x-X

The next morning, Leila and Sirius woke at dawn. Leila sighed, still tired and curled into a ball. Sirius smiled at her and pressed his lips to her forehead before getting up and slipping his dressing gown on.

"Just going to get a drink." He whispered to Leila. She mumbled something Sirius didn't quite catch in reply and Sirius smiled. Maybe Gideon and Fabian Prewett had taught him something… For despite the most recent unexpected turn of events, Sirius felt strangely happy.

Unfortunately, James wasn't too lucky.

X-x-X-x-X

"James." A voice said softly. James tried to get away but cold water was swallowing him up. "James!" The voice said urgently. But James didn't listen. He was swimming, drowning, but he knew that if he did this, he'd see his parents. They'd been calling him. He'd seen them from the shore. "JAMES!" He couldn't breath. "JAMES WAKE UP!"

With a crash he hit the floor and found himself looking up at his best friend. Sirius looked stricken and tired.

"Whoa, don't do that Prongs. You had me scared there." He said worriedly.

"Padfoot?" James said groggily.

"Hey, feeling Ok?" Sirius helped James get onto the sofa and patted him on the back. "You want some hot chocolate?" He asked. James nodded vaguely.

As Sirius left he tried to remember what he'd just been dreaming about but it was all a blur. All he could remember was standing at the shore of his lake at home and seeing his parents standing on an island in the middle, calling for him. Then next thing he was drowning and Sirius was waking him up.

Then the memories came crashing down all at once and he cried out. Mum. Dad. Dead. His mind went numb.

"You Ok mate?" Sirius asked, appearing with two mugs of hot chocolate. James frowned and taking the mug Sirius offered to him.

"…Yeah. I guess so." He took a sip of the chocolate and burnt his tongue. He gasped and bit his lip.

"It's hot." Sirius said unnecessarily. James winced.

"Yeah. I got that." He rasped. Sirius chuckled lowly and James smiled grimly. They finished they're drinks in silence.

"You feel like breakfast here or in the hall?" Sirius asked, picking up the empty mugs and sending them back into the kitchen with his wand.

"Hall. I wanna talk to Remus 'bout next week." James said quietly. Sirius nodded. Next week was the full moon.

"Me and Wormy could manage if you're not up to it." Sirius suggested.

"No you couldn't." James said. Sirius didn't argue. They both knew James was right. There was a long silence. "What time is it?"

"6:30."

"Aw, crap." James flopped back against the sofa. Sirius grinned, he too had no idea why they were up at such an ungodly hour.

"Yeah." He agreed. "I know the feeling."

X-x-X-x-X

Classes at Hogwarts started at 9 o'clock. Most students had breakfast from 8 onwards. But the early risers of the school were often seen in the Great Hall as early as 7. But usually around 7:30, a reasonable amount of early rising students arrived for their meal.

Peter Pettigrew, Rose Phillips and Jessica Parker were not early risers, therefore those particular students (along with Remus Lupin) were not in the hall at 7:30, when James, Leila, Lily and Sirius arrived for breakfast. Hazel Matlock and her friend Anna, however, were.

"Lils!" Hazel called, waving Lily over. Lily smiled and led her friends towards the two fifth years. Hazel smiled solemnly. "Hi everyone. Hey James." Hazel knew James marginally well due to being a prefect and a member of the quidditch team. So of course she also knew Leila and Sirius; other members of the team,

"Hi." James said quietly. Since talking to Sirius earlier in the morning, his mood had sloped downwards until he hit where he was now, not talking much and trying not to think about anything important. Hazel shot him a sympathetic look and they ate their meals in relative silence, until Hazel turned to Leila and asked. "Hey, I was just wondering… When's the funeral?" in a low voice. Leila stared at her and James drew in a sharp, painful breath. Hazel saw the look on his face and bit her lip, turning back to her food and not waiting for an answer.

Leila turned, slowly to face Sirius, because the truth was, she had no idea… neither of them did.

X-x-X

As more students filtered in, Leila noticed that everyone seemed to be shooting sympathetic and startled looks at James. She glanced across at him. He was very pale and wasn't eating or talking or doing very much at all really. Leila knew exactly what everyone else was thinking. 'Was this really the head boy? The crazy, quidditch obsessed seeker and captain for Gryffindor? One of the school's most popular guys and top pranksters? This guy? Sitting here with no trace of enthusiasm about anything?'

But the sad thing was. The answer was yes. It was the head boy. The crazy, quidditch obsessed seeker and captain for Gryffindor and all of that. It was exactly the same person as before.

X-x-X

In the end, James didn't even speak to Remus. Sirius sorted it out when Remus, Rose, Peter and Jess arrived for breakfast, just as the others were leaving. Lily asked Rose to get homework for the four of them, just so they'd have something to do later on. As for James, he announced that he wanted to sit by the lake.

Sirius was a bit nervous about it, remembering James's dream earlier, but as soon as they got there, James just found a rock to lean on, closed his eyes and fell into a light sleep.

Lily watched him with a saddened expression. She summoned a blanket and laid it on top of James before laying down next to him and resting her head on his shoulder. She didn't close her eyes, or even attempt to go to sleep, she just needed to rest.

Leila took Sirius's hand and buried her head in his chest. Sirius rubbed her back gently.

"I just wanted to get back to classes and get it over with." Leila mumbled.

"I know."

"But… I just… he was just looking at me! And I couldn't… I don't want to hurt him."

"I know."

"Why is it so hard?"

"I don't know."

Leila sobbed and raised her head and let Sirius wipe her tears away with his thumb. She managed a watery smile.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I know." Sirius said softly. And Leila laughed. She laid her head on his shoulder and stood like that for a while.

"Sirius?" she said eventually.

"Yeah."

"Don't ever leave me."

"…Okay."

A.N- Aw…

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