Act 34: Catherine

Russell enters the living almost fifty minutes after calling Charlie. He talks to his siblings, asking how the water was this morning, then he has a quiet exchange with Charlie.

The fact that no one asks about his morning or about how their mother is, doesn't go unnoticed to me, but I don't dwell on it.

I wait as long as I can but after fifteen minutes Sara is still no show so I decide to go after her, I just need to see her and make sure she's alright. I excuse myself to the other and head to our room.

I pause at the door and knock softly, I wait a few seconds but don't get an answer so I pus the door open and pop my head through. When I see Sara, I step inside quietly and close the door behind me.

She's sitting on the bed facing the window. She stiffens when she feels identifies my presence; I close the door behind me and kneel on the bed to cross it. My hand barely rests on her shoulder that she stands up to move closer to the window, she has yet to say a word or acknowledging my presence properly.

I need five seconds to truly comprehend what just happened. I shake myself out of it, dropping my hand to my side. My first instinct is to leave, the hurt quickly spreading into my chest; I've never taken rejection too well; the fact that it's her rejecting me makes it even worse.

I get up from the bed and face the door but I can't bring myself to walk away.

I'm driven by my emotions, I'll act according to them before being reasonable. One will say I'm passionate, another that I'm impulsive; I've come to term with the fact that I'm a bit of both.

Ever since I'm with Sara I've started to learn something I've never been good at: patience.

I know for a fact that there's a lot I still don't know about Sara, that she does keep me at arm length at times; there are lot of her silences I can't explain and lot of things she doesn't share with me. Do I like it? No, of course, I don't.

This is where patience comes in; it gave me a perspective on things. For instance I used to think Sara was a rather cold person, with time I've understood that she's just shy and awkward when it comes to interact with people; it takes her time to relax and until she does she'll act with utter detachment and disregard to emotions. Once she is at ease though, one can see that she's actually wearing her heart in her sleeves.

I can appreciate how much she has opened up to me or how difficult it is for her. I'm not saying it's easy for me to open up but I've always been one to talk about things rather than bottling them up.

All this brings me to now; if I go with my emotions then I'm hurt, my ego and my heart are bruised that she'd push me away, even more so after last night; however if I take a second to look at it all rationally then I know it's just one of those moments where I have to be patient.

It's about understanding that she's not shutting me out, she just doesn't know how to let me in; it's a fine line but it makes a huge difference. On one side of that line I walk away, on the other I stay; walking away is easy, and I can picture people before me doing just that; I refuse to be one more name on that list.

I take a deep calming breath and turn around to walk quietly toward Sara. I only stop an inch from her. She stiffens even more at my proximity but I don't move away. I just slowly rest my forehead against her back, I put my left hand on her hip, and rest my right hand against hers, slipping my fingers in between hers.

She's tensed and I can hear her trying to control her breathing; there's a dangerous edge about her, like she could snap at any second. The only reason I don't let go is because she hasn't pushed me away again which leads me to think that it's not she's not struggling with my touch, but rather with herself.

I close my eyes and breathe in deeper, I get so close to her that my body is flushed against hers, I slowly circle her waist with my left arm and just wait.

I don't say anything, but I hope my gestures convey the fact that I'm here and I have no intention to go anywhere.

It take several minutes but I can feel the change, I feel her shoulders sagging and tension reluctantly leaving her body, I hear her breathing slowing down. When she closes her fingers tightly over mine, I know that I've won that tiny battle.

I'm in.

She lifts our entwined right hands to rest them over her chest and puts her left arm over the one I have around her waist.

"It was too loud…"

I need seconds to make sense of her whisper but eventually I softly nod against her back with understanding. I tighten my hold on her and kiss her spine.

I don't know how long we stay like this but the moment is broken by a bestial growl from my stomach. If there was any tension left that sound broke it completely, Sara chuckles lightly; this is probably the first time I'm grateful for the beast hidden in my stomach.

"I take it you were waiting for me to eat, uh?" Sara states a trace of amusement.

Even though I'm grateful for the tension breaker, I'm still blushing in embarrassment. "Yeah," I confirm.

"I'll be in a minute," she announces turning her head a bit, even though she can't see me it's the first time she truly acknowledges my presence since I came in.

I squeeze her a bit and kiss her back once more. "Take your time," I reply softly.

She delivers a lingering kiss on the back of my right hand then releases it. I kiss the back of her neck in return then step away. "I'm going to warm our plates," I tell her before leaving the room.

I head downstairs and sigh in relief knowing that Sara has found a little peace of mind.

I enter the kitchen and find Russell sitting at the table with a plate in front of him and Charlie leaning against the counter; they stop talking as soon as I step in and both look at me but don't say anything.

I don't ask so as not to force them to lie and just take two plates for Sara and I, serving us some food.

"Charlie tells me you're the one who cooked lunch."

"Yeah," I grin at him. "I hope it's not too bad, I had never cooked that before. I can't exactly count the little ones' opinion, they were so hungry after surfing that I'm fairly certain shoe soles with seasoning would have been good enough for them."

They both laugh. "True enough," Charlie agrees.

"Well, it's not bad at all for a first time, maybe a bit too…"

"Salty," I finish Russell's critic. "I know, sorry, that's the one thing I always have trouble with."

"You did well for a first time," he assures me again.

"Thanks."

Our exchange is interrupted when Sara enters the kitchen. "Scout, there you are," Charlie greets her with an affectionate smile.

I'm surprised when Sara comes to me to peck my lips softly, I blush profusely under her brothers' scrutiny. Sara is not one for public display of affection, at least she seldom initiates it, and so far she had never kissed me in front of her brothers.

I can hardly fight the silly grin on my lips, I try to ignore the look Charlie and Russell exchange and focus on serving Sara who sat down at the table. I place a full plate in front of her and sit next to her with my own.

"Scout?" Charlie calls her softly. He waits for her to look at him then after a pause he kisses her crown.

I'm a bit jealous of her brothers because I know at their glances and silent exchange that they know exactly what is bothering Sara and how to handle it, whereas I'm in the dark.

We have a quiet lunch, Russell and Charlie providing most of the conversation. Once more I notice that no one ever brings up their mother in the conversation even though Russell and Sara went to visit her this morning.

Later that afternoon when we are in the lounge room, I'm playing pool with Linds, Hazy and Rueben while Sara is playing chess with Sidney, Howard is sitting on a chair reading.

"Stop it," Sara asks with a chuckle. When I look in their direction I see that Sidney is teasing her. "Sid, come on."

I focus on my attention on the pool table again. I give advices to Linds for her next shot and watch her beam with joy when she succeeds. When it's Hazy's turn, she places her ball so it's obstructing mine but I make the white jump above it, then it goes to connect gently with my ball pocketing it on the designate hole.

I laugh when I earn some serious cool point from my three companions, Lindsey leading the lot. Whatever I was about to say is drown by rising voices.

"Damn it Sidney, stop!" Sara snaps.

"Why are you such a grouch?" Sidney asks with a frown.

"You're being annoying."

"I'm just kidding, what is your problem?" his irritation matches Sara's.

"I don't have a problem, so shut up!"

"Do not tell me to shut up!" Sidney's tone sharpens immediately.

"Hey, guys, back in your corner, now!" Howard intervenes, but his words fall in deaf ears.

"Go away Sidney, I'm warning you," Sara growls.

"Enough!" Howard tries again, but the twins are too busy staring at one another to care.

One of the weirdest things happens, Sidney reaches out and pinches Sara's nose before pretending to throw it away. I would have laughed but right at this moment it seems like the last offence to Sara who pushes Sidney's face violently with the palm of her right hand, the next thing I know they are both on the ground wrestling.

What the hell just happened?

Damn.

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