A/N: Okay so it's kind of a short update with tons of talking and a bit of a mushy warning, BUT before you kill let me explain. The shortness: I just posted a little while ago and planned on adding to this, but people really seem to want to know what's up with Becca right now. And who am I to deny them that. Just the one who slaves away at her computer writing at all hours of the night (jk jk I think I enjoy writing it more than you reading it.) The talking: there was a lot of explaining that needed to be done. The mushy:...I donnu. I'm mushy? Anyway I hope you like it.

Dad ended up not needing stitches, but they'd all been up for about thirty-nine hours straight. So after a quick debriefing to me and Trevor (Joshua cared about it, he just wasn't dying to go out on a hunt the way we were), we were all beat. Well most of us. I couldn't sleep. I still hadn't found out why Dean was crying. About ninety-five percent of me was sure that since I was alive and training and stuff I was in the clear. But that pesky five percent kept bugging me. What happened that night? I crept out of bed and into the living room where my brothers and Trevor were sleeping. I poked Trevor until he woke up and we careful snuck over to the kitchen.

"What do you want crazy lady?" He asked grumpily when we were finally out of hearing distance.

I sat down. "Trev I gotta ask you a question... and I know you might not be comfortable answering it but..."

"What did you find the magazines under my bed?" He interrupted me. "I knew that was a stupid place to put them."

I rolled my eyes. "No that's not what I'm...ew ...anyway I just wanted to know...what's wrong with me?"

Trevor shrugged. "Other than the whole waking me up from an amazing dream in the middle of the night thing?"

"I'm serious Trevor."

"So am I Becca." He said. "This was maybe one of my top five dreams. I mean I had Jessica Simpson and Halle Berry in bed with me and..."

I held up my hand. "Okay well can you tell Halle to put the whipped cream down for a minute so you can answer my real life problem?"

"Whipped cream?" he questioned.

"Shut up." I snapped. "Stop trying to distract me. I want to know what's wrong with me and you know what I mean."

He sighed. "I'm not supposed to say."

I knew it was something. "Nobody else is gonna tell me. I need to know."

Another sigh. "Don't look at me like that Becca... You're making me do something I know I shouldn't do.God this is just like when we were kids.You're gonna get me spanked by your Dad again."

"Please." I begged. "Please."

Trev caved. "When you got here, there wasn't much time. You weren't bleeding and your ribs were fine, but we couldn't get you to wake up. And then all of a sudden you just... you stopped breathing Becca."

"What?" I asked. "What do you mean. Like shallow breathing or..."

"No. Not at all."

"Then how the hell am I here right now?"

"Your father knew about something. Some thing that he knew my Dad could do. Dad really didn't want to do it. I mean he didn't want you to die, but all of that, its pretty dark stuff Becca. There was a chant thing. He'd only done it once and it left the person alive, but in pretty bad shape. Really cut up with some kind of brain damage. But more than that my Dad didn't wanna do it cuz...if it didn't go right then your spirit, it could end up anywhere."

"Anywhere?"

"You could have walked around as a lost spirit...you could have ended up in hell. But, thank God he must have done it right, cuz here you are." he said.

"So... I died?" I whispered.

"Becca... you're here now. Isn't that the most important part? Becca?...See this is why I wasn't supposed to tell you."

"Tell her what?" We turned around and saw my father standing there.

"John." Trevor said. "Hey. What are you doing up."

"I heard someone walking in here." I should have figured if anyone could here me tiptoe into a room, it would be my father. "Tell her what Trevor?"

"Nothing Daddy." I said trying to pull myself together

"I asked Trevor." Dad said.

Trevor looked over at me. "I... John she... she knew something was wrong, so I..."

"Broke a direct order." Dad said and gave him a look that basically said "pick a spot on the floor and stare." "I need to talk to Becca alone."

"Yes sir." Trevor said and left quickly.

Dad sat down next to me. "He had no right to...me and his Dad told him... I can't believe he..."

"Dad don't be mad at Trevor." I said. "I should have known. I wanted- I needed to know."

"Why Becca?" My father asked. "Why did you need to know. So that you could feel the fear that we felt. So that you could realize just how close... No you shouldn't have known. I didn't want you to know."

"But I did know. I knew something was wrong Daddy. I saw it in everyone's eyes. Dean cried that night Dad."

"We all did Becca." he whispered. "You were gone. You were really gone. And then while Joshua was chanting...it was awful to see you like that." His voice broke. "You were bleeding and... and even after he was done and you took that first breath and we knew you were alive... we didn't know what kind of life you were going to live. If you were going to open up those pretty brown eyes again. If you were ever going to smile. We all cried that night Becca. We had plenty to cry about."

"I'm so sorry Dad. I'm sorry you had to..."

"Stop." he said. He took my hand. "See I didn't want you to be sorry. I didn't want you to think about... any of it."

"Dad I love you, but you can't keep me safe forever." I said. I naturally found my way to his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I can try." He said. "I have to. I'm your father." We sat like that for a while. I felt his shoulders shake a little and could tell he was crying. After a bit, when we both felt right, he went with me to my room and tucked me in. He even kissed my forehead like he used to. "I love you little girl." He said.

"I love you too Daddy." he was heading to the door when I said "Um Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe, you know now that everything's out in the open and all, I can start hunting again?" I asked.

"You gettin' a little antsy?" He smiled. I nodded. "Well... we'll talk about it in the morning, but we're not gonna get you out there until you're ready. Understand?"

"Yes sir." I said. "Night Dad."

"Night." he closed the door.

I had to pretty much beg Joshua to give me the okay for hunting AND he still only wanted me to do easy hunts. I was a bit disappointed, but it was a start. Besides, I figured I could totally talk then into it by the time a big one came up. I didn't know how, but I figured something would come to me. I only had to wait three days before I got to do an exorcism and it felt awesome. Dad and Trevor went with me, but I was totally on my A game and they barely needed to do anything. I was so excited about the whole me getting to hunt again thing I nearly forgot about Jason's visiting day. I kinda felt bad. I mean it was so important. I shouldn't have let it slip my mind like that. I found my Dad, Joshua and Dean out in the garage messing with Dad's truck.

"Boys and their toys." I sighed.

"Hey." Dean said. "Have I taught you nothing? Vehicles are not toys they are powerful examples of mechanical genius Becca Anne."

"Sorry." I said with a sarcastically. "I forgot you're like a sexual attraction to your car."

"I forgot you bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh." Dean said mocking me.

Dad and Joshua smiled at each other. "You're right Joshua. My kids really have matured since you last saw them. "Did you need something Becca?" Dad asked.

"Well, uh Jason's having his first visiting day on Thursday and I figured since you already told him I'd be visiting him, maybe I could borrow your truck and drive to the center?"

"Sorry honey. I don't think that's gonna work." Dad said.

"Please Daddy." I said. "You said I could visit before."

"Well I don't want you driving on your own so soon, but I don't mind you visiting him. It's just that the truck been acting up a little since last night. I called in for a part, but I don't know if it'll be here by Thursday."

Shit. How the hell was I gonna go. "Dean?" I asked as sweetly as possible. "Do you think maybe I could borrow the Impala?"

He got a huge smile on his face. My brothers (especially Dean) loved it when I needed then, because it meant until they did what I asked they owned me. They always ended up helping me anyway, because that's just the way they were, but they definitely took advantage of the moment. "I don't know." He said. "I mean I think I might be just a little bit to sexually attracted to my car to let you borrow it."

"Well you can come." I offered. "Dad said I can't go alone anyway."

"Well... I don't know. I'll have to check my schedule." he said.

"Dad!" I whined.

"Trevor could probably take you in his car." Joshua offered.

Trevor! His Car! I'd totally forgotten that option. "Good idea. Thanks Joshua." I said going back into the house.

I found Trev in the living room on the couch. "Hey Midget." I said. "Wanna do me a favor."

"You know when I was shorter than you and you called me midget it made me look funny, but now that I'm you know a giant compared to you, it just makes you look silly." he said jokingly.

"Yeah well you may be taller but you're still younger than me."

"By four months." he scoffed. "So what's the favor?"

"I need to borrow you and your car and Thursday. I'm going to visit my boyfriend, the trucks dead and my Dad says I can't drive alone." I explained. "it wont take that long and i can do most of the..."

"Roadtrip?" Trevor said. "Why not?"