Chapter Thirty-six: In Which Jack Digs Himself a Hole

Once they were back inside, they led Slender to their room. Several of the other proxies in the hall stopped to stare as they passed, shrinking back against the walls or stepping off and knitting their brows. When would their masters come? What would happen then? Oh, the problems were returning. Fuck. Jeff sighed. "What?" Jack asked. His arm was still heavy and warm across Jeff's shoulders.

"Nothing. Now get off." He rolled his shoulders and Jack slid his arm away.

"Aw, Jeffy," he whined. "Wasn't hurting you."

Jeff glared. Jack shut up. Jeff shook his head and wrinkled his nose huffily. "I don't fucking understand you."

"Huh? What's there to understand?"

"Never mind, fucker," Jeff said.

"Hey, lovebirds," Eyeless called. "If you'll— "

"What?" Jeff demanded, his step faltering against the tile.

"I said if you'll— "

"We are not lovebirds," Jeff snapped, grimacing and leaning away from Jack.

Eyeless snickered and turned his head back towards them. "No? My mistake. You talk with such affectionate abuse."

Jack waggled his eyebrows at Jeff. "We could be."

"No fucking way," Jeff said. "I haven't even known you, like, half a fucking year."

"People have done far more on far less," Jack said, lifting his chin with an air of hey look I know this shit. "Like Romeo and Juliet. Or prostitutes."

"So now I'm a fucking whore?" Jeff hissed, puffing himself up to glare at Jack.

"Wow, hey, that was a bad simile to use." Jack's eyes brightened with actual intelligence this time. "I did not mean it that way. Wow, that was bad. No, Jeffy, you are not a whore."

"Yeah, okay, whatever," Jeff said. "Just— stay far away." He stepped up to Eyeless's and Slender's sides. Idiot, he thought. It was almost pathetic, except for it irritated him too much to consider it with any softer emotion. "The hell you lookin' at? Oh, shut the fuck up."

Eyeless managed to choke back laughter, but he was still grinning like mad, triangle teeth and black gums. "I was going to ask you and Jack to go and tell all the other proxies that their masters should be here soon, and to contact them if they can," he said. Jeff ground his teeth. Eyeless winced. "Ow, ow, ow, hate that, quit, quit."

Jeff grit them harder before he said, "Why do I have to go with him?"

"Protection," Eyeless said. "I don't trust anybody out there. And what if a master shows up? We don't know them and they don't know us. I mean, I'd assume that they're friendly towards proxies, but assuming really isn't safe. Jack should at least be able to give Slender some time to get there if you need him. And the proxies'll listen to you if they'll listen to anyone, since you've been giving all the orders."

Jeff groaned and glowered. "Can you smell my irritation?" He shot under his breath. "I hope you can fucking smell it. But fine. Whatever. I can be mature. Don't laugh, you bastard. Watch me be mature." Jeff turned and strode back to the door. "Jack."

"Yeah?" Jack's voice was meek. Jeff almost smirked. Almost. Not quite. He was still mad. Mature, but mad. He could juggle those. Definitely.

"Come on."

"Yeah." Jack trotted to fall into step with him. "What are we doing?"

"Doesn't matter to you," Jeff said.

There was an awkward pause. Jack cleared his throat. "Uh, Jeff. You know I know you're not a whore, right?"

"Whatever," Jeff said. Then he realized he reminded himself of a bitchy teen. Which he was, mostly. But not now. Now he was mature. Except he seemed to feel this bitchiness (not just general bitchiness, but concentrated bitchiness) around Jack. Not that it fucking meant anything except Jack annoyed him more than most people.

"No, uh, seriously. That wasn't what I, ah, meant, when I said, um, that."

"Really? That was not the impression I got."

"I know. It was a really bad example. But, like, it's the truth." And then Jack nearly tripped over himself, his eyes widening. "Not the Jeff's a whore part. I mean like definitely. That's not true. At least I don't think it is. I mean it's not. Probably. I mean I don't know because you've never told me but like I don't think it is but how'm I supposed to know, nobody says anything. I mean I don't think you are, I think you're awesome but I mean the part about the people doing the things really fast, that's true. People do that. Um, you know."

Jeff rolled his eyes but (he was fucking mature) he let the urge to pounce on Jack's every word like the guilt-trip it could be, the one he could make it become, slide. "Point."

"Really? Awesome."

"I'm not entirely against agreeing with others, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. That wasn't what I meant, um, either. And, um, damn, this is awkward." He rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath. "That's not what I meant."

"Yup."

"If we were to be— " he coughed— "lovebirds, we wouldn't have to— I mean, like, that's not the only thing I'm, um, interested in. I mean, obviously I'm interested in it— who wouldn't be, uh, right?— but, um, it's not just because of that. I'm not that kind of, um, guy. So, uh— "

"Wait— " Jeff said, freezing and turning to stare at Jack, who was blushing furiously but stubbornly looked him in the eye. Jeff decided he felt sick. Was that his stomach, cramming itself up into his mouth? "You're serious?"

Jack nodded stiffly. "Yes." And Jeff had never heard him sound so serious. It was terrifying.

"Oh, darling, Jeffy."

"Thank God, Jane," he said, whirling around to face her, his stomach drifting mercifully back to where it belonged. "I'm, like, legit happy to see you. I need to talk to your group."

"Of course," she said, beaming at him and linking her arm through his. "Come on. And your friend— Jack, is that your name?— come on, let's go. You're really tall, you know that? I don't think I've met you before. Where are you from? You're British? Ooh, do you have an accent? Damn. Or is that just because you've been in America so long? Can you still talk in an accent?" When he did, she squealed like a stuck pig and Jeff cringed. "How old are you? No fucking way. Seriously? I'm, like, eighteen."

At the very least the annoyance was driving away the sick feeling in Jeff's stomach, and when they entered Jane's group's room, it vanished completely. He straightened his shoulders, lifted his chin, and felt everything familiar click back into place. "Alright," he said. Thirteen sets of eyes (well, twelve sets of eyes plus one and a clock) locked onto him. He told them about the salt-silver line and that they should contact Trenderman and have him come here as soon as possible. They agreed readily, grins spreading across their faces like melted butter. He repeated the same procedure with each of the proxy groups. Most times he couldn't gather them all together, so he told as many as he and Jack and Jane (yes, he kept her. He didn't want to be alone with Jack) could herd into a room at short notice and left it to them to decide the best course of action regarding output of information.

Once they were done, Jane left them to go and see Trenderman. She'd been jerky ever since about five minutes after they told her group to contact Trender, and Jeff wasn't entirely heartless and she was still annoying, so he let her go without a fight. And then he was alone with Jack and he hurried them back to the room, relieved when the reached it and he could bury himself in arguing with his brothers and reveling in Slender's presence, where it sat down the hall with Liu's group. He distracted himself, and he avoided Jack. That was good.