CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE – FINAL BATTLE

I found myself back in my room with the company of some beer I managed to weasel out of one of the other guardians. I left my music off as I lay on my bed, not really wanting anyone to know that I was in there.

A dry smile wound its way onto my face as I thought about how easy it was to get to. I just sweet talked a male guardian and band. Men are so easy. I rolled my eyes and took a long swig and fell back against my pillows. I sighed and looked around my room. I didn't see anything interesting, until my laptop beeped. I sat up and pulled it up onto my lap to see what it was. As I opened it, I saw that it was an Instant Message from Etienne. My mood brightened considerably as I read:

E: Hey, baby! I know you're probably doing some guardian thing right now. Just wanted to say that I love you! See you!

I quickly typed back: I'm here – love you too! ; P

Etienne was quick to continue the conversation: What are you doing?

R: sitting in my room drinking.

E: ROSE!

R: what?

E: No drinking!

R: I'm an adult, Etienne.

E: And I'm your brother, now put it away! No drinking!

I rolled my eyes and changed the topic. R: what are YOU doing?

E: We're on a plane.

R: *sighs* You suck.

E: I'm sorry…are you going to be okay?

R: OF COURSE! When am I not?

E:…um, let me see…most of the time…

R: shut up.

E: Hey, I'm just concerned.

R: don't be, I can handle myself. :)

E: Rose…

R: don't do that – oh I have to go.

E: oh

E: okay – bye Rose

R: love you bye

E: love you

I quickly signed off and left my room in search of something to occupy my high-strung mind.

"What are you up to, Hathaway?" I heard a very familiar voice call as I stared through the gates and into the darkness on the other side. I didn't even turn – I knew it was Mikhail, but, more importantly, I knew what I had to do. It was my time.

I took off at a sprint to my room so I could change and prepare.

* * *

Minutes later, I found myself strutting towards the gates wearing all black: a collared black long sleeved shirt and close fitting black pants and my black running shoes with only a couple slim lines of lime green. My hair was tied up on top of my head and I wore no head band as a few stands of hair blew across my face. I looked devastating and I knew it.

My stake in hand, I was ready.

The guards didn't look surprised to see me, but they were shocked to see my expression and poise. A sweet little guard I thought was baby-cute commented.

"Guardian Hathaway, what's wrong? You look…"

Terrified, heartbroken, masochistic, I supplied in my head, but he used none of those.

"…not right." He finished lamely. "You don't look right, is everything okay?" he repeated with more conviction.

I brushed aside his concern and for some weird reason, I lightly ran my fingers across the side of his face and down his cheek. "I am fine. Will you please tell Mikhail Tanner and Dereck Hays that I'm so sorry?" I whispered, feeling strangely sentimental as I rested my right hand on his cheek.

He seemed to swoon under my touch and became unnecessarily concerned for me. "What are you planning to do, Rose?" he asked quietly. From Guardian Hathaway to Rose – funny, I thought.

I slowly removed my hand and smiled gently, feeling much older than I actually was. "It's all over," I whispered and bowed my head before slipping through the gates, not looking back at everything I had just come to love.

As I walked slowly towards the trees, I thought of everything.

I'd come to love Mikhail, obviously not romantically, but like a brother – not a protector. No never a protector, l didn't need a protector and it was obvious that Mikhail still needed some support to recover from Sonya's demise in front of him. He truly loved her the way I loved Dimitri and for that, I loved Mikhail.

I loved him for being able to feel such an intense feeling, a feeling so consuming that you felt like you would shatter to pieces in a moment because you were so filled with this emotion. I loved him for being able to feel this emotion that so many others eventually denied because of commitment, because of the pain it granted you with. I loved him for being able to do the same as I.

I didn't believe that he was responsible for not being able to kill Sonya was his fault. No, Mikhail was not at fault there, that was all her. Her Strigoi life had come to an end because she wanted it to. And she loved him as he loved her. Sonya Karp did not play with Mikhail as Dimitri was playing with me; she truly loved him enough to feel the depth of that feeling through her transformation, her decent into darkness.

All she wanted was to see her lover one last time; I believed that was why she wanted him to be with her when she died. Though, I was still confused at why she would die in such a brutal why in front of him. She obviously had to know that it would cause him extreme pain, having him unable to do anything to prevent it.

Then it hit me.

She did it because she wanted him to know that he couldn't do anything to prevent it. She did it because she wanted him to know it was inevitable and she wanted him to know that it wasn't his fault.

I wanted to run back to Mikhail right at that instant and tell him of my discovery, but I knew I couldn't do that.

Mikhail had his problems and I had mine and I was to deal with mine right now.

But I understood.

Mikhail was riddled with guilt, thinking that he should have stopped her, thinking that he could have made her a 'good' Strigoi, thinking that it was solely his fault for her becoming Strigoi in the first place. But it wasn't that; I understood now. Sonya did what she did to protect Mikhail from her because she could see the way her own pain was hurting him ten times as much.

The depth of her love burns through me, reminding me that not even Dimitri and I had that deep of a connection.

No, I snarled inside my head. Dimitri and I did have that connection, but that's the problem. We DID. And now we DON'T. That was the problem.

Now, Dimitri was a heartless being and he didn't feel that way about me anymore. I just had to keep that thought centered and I'd be okay. I'd make it through the fight, probably not alive, but able to kill Dimitri.

I could only hope.

I stood just under the cover of the trees and held my stake in hand, bracing myself for an attack; for I could feel nausea in my stomach all around me. I was surrounded and that was confirmed when there was suddenly a circle of Strigoi around me. They didn't attack and Dimitri was no where in sight, but I'd become so attuned to his presence so I could feel him.

"Well, Dimitri, give them permission to attack." I said quietly, sinking into a defensive stance. I was completely sober and I knew my world was about to end.

"As you wish – attack."

Two Strigoi lunged forward and I staked one easily, but the other grabbed me from the side, holding me in some sort of twisted embrace. I struggled in his hold for a moment before he snatched my stake out of my hand. "Hold still beautiful or I'll plunge this through your heart."

"My ass you will," I growled, jabbing my elbow into his ribs and reaching for my stake. He pulled away at the last second.

"Ah, ah, let's see how you'll do with a more advanced weapon." He took the stake, heedless of how it burnt him and he used his nail to sharpen the handle so it was like a double sided dagger. Interesting. He tossed it to me. "Catch, little dhampir,"

I caught it and it cut into my hand. But I didn't care. No one called me 'little dhampir' except for Adrian. I lunged at him and shoved the stake into his heart, the look of surprise on his face lasted a moment before I shoved him away from me. Others came at me and I dispatched of them, unconsciously moving deeper into the forest. Vaguely, I thought that for each meter I fought into the growing darkness, the deeper the stake cut into my hand.

Nothing mattered, only my fury and my purpose. I had to get through these Strigoi to get to Dimitri. These Strigoi would lay their lives down for him and they were doing so, I'd have to do a lot of killing before I got to him. This not so stunning revelation brought me down a bit and saddened me. I did not want anymore blood on my hands.

Not paying attention, I let my guard down a moment and was grabbed from behind.

Damn, I thought for a split second before I immediately began to fight back. Elbow to the ribcage, heel to the groin and grip is loosened. I grabbed the Strigoi's arm, twisted and shoved the stake through his chest too quickly before he could react.

"No one calls me that," I hissed as I threw myself at another Strigoi, staking them furiously. No one would ever be allowed to call me that except for Adrian because…he was Adrian. That was that. He was Adrian. I was Rose. That's all.

Distract yourself, Rose, I thought as the pain in my hand increased because of the double edged stake. Let's make a story, Rosie! I could practically hear Etienne shout. Alright, let's make a story…

My name is Rose.

My name is Rose and I live in hell.

In hell, things are terrible. Very, very terrible.

Rosie, be nice! How about you say you're on vacation, I hear Etienne scold lightly as I staked another Strigoi. Suck it up, bro.

In hell, my best friend is Lisa Dragomir. Lisa is my best friend and is a very high class Royal. She is the last of her family and the Queen wants her. Lisa is very popular in the high society of vampire Royals; people look to her because she is so persuasive and perfect. Or so she seems. Lisa used to cut herself, but she stopped and was put on depression pills, but she's better now. Though, other Royals still have their sights on her and the Queen especially. Lisa is a bit lost.

Then there is Adrian…Adrian is a Royal, but also the Queen's great nephew. The Queen was set on forcing Adrian and Lisa together, but Lisa loves Christian, who most definitely is one of the most respected Royals and certainly not one that the Queen approves of.

Rose…don't be so dark, Etienne chides lightly.

Life is dark, kid, I respond.

I was distracted by a Strigoi grabbing my arm and pulling me in close to his chest. I lifted the stake and raked it across the side of his face and twirled out of his arms before completing the job.

And my name is Rose, I live in Hell and everything is exactly at it's most possible worst and I'm hoping that once everything is over, I'll just disappear into nothingness so I won't have to deal with anything else this bad. Just disappear into nothingness so I won't have the pain, sadness, jealously, longing, fury…everything terrible that seeps down into my soul and makes me what I am.

I stood breathing heavily in the middle of forest with a sliver of sunlight shining down on me from the trees above. I stared at the surroundings, there were four more Strigoi I had to take on before I was done, it looked like. So I lifted my left hand into the shadows (one of my finest and most likely final, cocky move) and curled my index-finger in slowly towards me; a taunting gesture, daring them to come closer.

A Strigoi girl grabbed my wrist and yanked me out of the light, hissing "Not so high and mighty now without your halo, are you?"

I jabbed my elbow into her ribs and turned quickly, slitting her throat with my double-edged stake. "I don't have a halo, you should know that by now." Another Strigoi came at me and we sparred a few hits as the other two circled us, watching with anticipation. The Strigoi sustained a couple good cuts from my stake and was getting angrier by the moment. He tried to grab at my leg as I struck out for a kick, but I recoiled quickly and his hand met only air; his eyes narrowed and his mouth thinned into a straight line. I smirked back at him and full out grinned as I plunged my stake into his chest.

The other two converged on me, betting that they would have a better chance if they attacked at the same time. None the less, I hit the ground and swiped the legs from under on and had them out within moments. The surprise wore off the other and she jumped on me, prepared to rip my throat out, which is almost what happened as she lunged for my neck. Her nails raked against my skin drawing blood, which made her eyes glow an unearthly red as she bore her fangs at me.

I managed to knee her in the back the same way Mikhail had done to me so long ago. She winced and I got my stake into her chest and pushed her off of me. I pulled myself to my knees and looked around for another opponent. There seemed to be no one else, but I felt someone. I felt him.

I pulled myself to my feet and leaned heavily against a tree as my breath came out sharply. "Dimitri," I whispered. "Dimitri…I've made it past your people…Dimitri, come out." I felt him come nearer and soon I could see him walking towards me, emerging from the deepest of the shadows.

"Rosa, my lovely Rosa," his voice was filled with an unusual pride and affection. "You've done well, you've killed almost all of my people, which seems to have taken a toll on you." He added, gesturing to my state. I didn't bother asking about the 'almost' but I was sure he had others elsewhere.

Almost automatically, I drew myself up to look taller and more powerful than I actually was. That seemed to be an unconscious reaction that I couldn't squelch when it came to him.

Apparently, he seemed to know this, which brought a slight smile to his face. "You never change," that struck a cord – he'd said the same thing when he was still my Dimitri.

"I've changed," I whispered harshly. "I've changed more than you could ever begin to guess Dimitri Belikov."

His face fell into an expression of sorrow and he took a step closer. "No, I know you've changed; I see it in your eyes. But some parts of you will never change."

He took a step closer to me and I straightened some more. "Something that will never change is that I will not give up."

He threw his head back and laughed and when he looked back at me, there was a new light in his eyes. "Are you threatening me, Rosa?"

"I'm only telling you the truth," I didn't answer his question outright, which he knew and the light in his eyes grew, now I could identify it. Anger, my defiance was angering him, even in the slightest; I wasn't exactly making sure his plan went accordingly. That gave me some satisfaction to see him struggling to keep up with me, a satisfaction to know I was in power, if only a little; but I was.

"Rosa," he murmured as I slipped down back onto my knees – there was no way I could possibly keep going like this. I just wanted to sleep, just to sleep it off, sleep it off until the end of eternity. "We can still fix this; we can work this out and be together, Rosa. I can save you," there was urgency in his tone as he neared me and I saw my way out. I saw my way to end everything.

I let myself slip lower and my stake slide a bit out of my hand slightly. "Do you really think that we could do that, after all that has happened?" I whispered harshly.

He stepped closer, obviously sensing that I was weakening by the moment. "Yes, I do, I do so much. We can fix this, we can love again."

I let a small smile creep onto my face, as if I were too tired to voice anything but also as if the idea appealed to me. And on some twisted level of my insane mind, it did. Now, I was on my knees with my right hand on the ground for balance and the act. "Dimitri," I whispered and the wistfulness wasn't really that hard to fake because, well, it wasn't fake.

"Rosa, let me save you, let me love you again!" he sounded so broken as he came to my side and knelt.

I smiled darkly to myself, this was so easy – how was this so easy? "Dimitri, help me to my feet, bring me up onto my feet. Bring me back my pride, Dimitri." He did as he was told and gently pulled me back up to my feet, as he did, I made sure I had a good grip on my stake.

"Oh, God, Rosa," he whispered and pulled me to his chest. As he did so, I used the last of my energy to shove my right hand between us, pinning the stake there as he crushed me into his chest. He choked as my weapon met its mark, his eyes slipped down to my face, burning crimson orbs. "You…BETRAYED…me…!"

Seeing as I was shorter and slumped against him with the stake being double edged and all, it would only be logical for it to pierce my heart as well. Dimitri and I would die together and in unison. Don't you just love the irony of poetic justice?

"No…" I whispered, realizing my fatal mistake; but deciding I was going to take it and be please with my end. "No, I'm going with you."