"Don't get me wrong, I'm not calling you an idiot or anything. All I'm saying is that a smarter person totally would have seen that coming."
"Shut up." Lance's voice was pure venom.
Pietro smirked, handing Lance the small bag of ice that he had hastily put together in the space of a second in the kitchen and watching as the rocktumbler pressed it to the large bump slowly developing on his head. It was clear he was enjoying his best friend's pain a bit too much.
"I mean, you called her best friend a 'stony witch'. Aside from the obvious terrible timing (don't say something you know could get you hit when your giflfriend's holding an armful of textbooks), you can't just say that about your girlfriend's friends and expect to get away with it- even if it is true. Heck, even I know that, and I'm horrible at keeping frie-"
"Shut up."
But Pietro, to the surprise of absolutely no one in the universe, had never learned to take a hint. "I'm not calling you stupid!" he blabbered on, oblivious to the angry flushing of his friend's face. "All I'm saying is that if you really wanted to avoid a knot on the head-"
Lance looked up sharply, glaring at the speedster. "Pietro, I have textbooks too."
Pietro held up his hands, but his smirk still didn't fade away. "Hey, no need to tell me twice." Lance's glare remained as he continued to press the icepack to his head. Pietro didn't miss the way Lance winced slightly in pain. In a rare gesture of sympathy, the white haired mutant sighed and eased his friend's hands to the side, taking over holding the bag of ice for him.
"Oh geez," he snickered. "She really gave you a lump. That won't feel good in the morning." Heck, he figured that it probably didn't feel all that good right now.
"You're a jerk," Lance muttered.
"Yeah," Pietro conceded, knowing that Lance was just pouty that he'd gotten walloped by his girlfriend. "But I'm a jerk who's about to give you some invaluable advice that you should never, ever froget." Pietro leaned down to look into Lance's scowling face and his expression was deadly serious. "Know when to keep your mouth shut."
Lance's eyes narrowed, but he slumped forward in defeat. "I oughta hit you."
"I'd like to see you try, Alvers."