No. This wasn't one of those kisses that end up being perfect in every single way. My foot didn't pop. I wasn't his Buttercup, he wasn't Spiderman, and this wasn't the hallways of East High. Dan was on his knees next to my bed and I was sitting on the side.
This was just a quick kiss, nothing over the top. I just pecked him on the lips and that was it.
"Okay, so what was that?"
"Will you please shut up?"
"Not until you tell me exactly what you're thinking." Dan's brown eyes made me forget a bit of my sanity.
"No! Why should I?"
"Atari, you just kissed me."
"So?"
"And I haven't kissed anyone in about a year or so."
"So?"
"And I'm a male. Please explain."
"It was nothing."
"Come on, yeah right."
"It was!"
"So if I were to kiss you right now, you wouldn't freak out? We could just leave and call it nothing? It will eat away at us, and you know that!"
"There's nothing to say, Dan!"
"There obviously is, Atari!"
"Well how do I know that I can trust you?"
"Atari! You don't get it! God! I want to know what you feel about me!"
"It shouldn't care what other people feel about you," I shot back at him.
"Atari. I like you."
"And I don't hate you."
"Or dislike me."
"Or dislike you."
"But Atari, I like you as more than a friend. I like you as more than a fuck buddy or whatever. And I like you more than a lot of other things. Okay? I want to be your boyfriend." We shut up for a moment and I avoided his gaze.
"Ilikeyou," I mumbled, looking at my hands. I really needed to stop biting my nails.
"What?" Dan asked, tilting my head up.
"I like you. A bunch." His eyes lit up when I said that and a smile came across his face. I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there.
"How much?" he badgered me.
"Enough."
"Come on, we both know you can say it better than that."
"I can't though! I don't know what to say."
"Do you like me more than you liked Ben?"
"Yes."
"Do you like me like a friend?"
"Yes."
"Do you like me more than a friend?"
"Yes."
"That's all that you are going to say?"
"Well, yeah, I mean, I don't know what to say. I can't tell you what I'm feeling because I don't want you to think differently of me."
"Atari, that's not possible. I want to hear what you want to say. And I want to know why you felt that you couldn't tell me earlier."
He sat down next to me on the bed and faced me. I opened my mind, "I thought that you liked this other really cool, magnificent girl. Like when i was with you in your bed that one day and you told me about that girl who had pretty eyes and a great personality. And there were no boys that liked me, so I didn't know who you were talking about. And when I saw that girl at the radio station, I figured that she was the one that you were talking to. And I liked-"
"Liked?"
"Like." He nodded and smiled but kept his eyes on me. "you a lot and it's this weird feeling, like I want to be around you. And I didn't want to fight. I wanted to stay next to you and keep talking to you. When you were mad at me for being fake or something, I was extremely upset. I didn't think that you would be mad at me that immediately. And then I woke up next to you for the second time and everything just seemed... perfect. I liked you even when you were drunk. And I think that you're super fucking cute and attractive and all this other crap."
"You find me attractive?"
"Well who doesn't'? Aren't you like sexiest bloke of 2012 or something?"
"Shut up." I laughed at him. "Will you let me try something?"
"Sure, I guess."
"Okay," he mumbled and his brown eyes gleamed.
You know when you get those instincts that you can't explain? Like a feeling just comes over you to go and do something that you don't do very often? Well that was an instinctive moment right there. Dan leaned in and I leaned in and we met in the middle. And I can't describe it to you, because it was so personal. It was Dan and myself, and us, and that was it. We were just moving together like synchronized dancing, and we had it figured all out. It was like a movie, and I expected some sort of music to be playing in the background. All we got were a small chorus of "awwww" when Micah and Phil opened the door, and Dan's beautiful eyes when we were finished.