Chapter 36

Disclaimer: Do we really have to do this? I am not J. K. Rowling or Tara Gilesbie, as such, I own nothing in this story other than my own author's comments. And if you steal those, there will be a lawsuit coming your way! (Probably not, I'm too lazy.)

AN: I said stop flaming, okay? I bet you are probably all 70 years old!

P.S.: Porter says you're a prep! (Who the F is Porter?) Oh, yeah, and thanks to Raven for the help! Have fun in England, girl!

I looked around in a depressed way. Suddenly, I saw Professor Trelawney. B'Loody Mary, Sirius, Draco, Vampire, and Willow were there too.

"OMFG, Sirius, I saw you and Samaro and Snape and everyone! I can't believe Snape used to be gothic!"

"Yeah, I know," Sirius said sadly.

"Oh, hey there bitch," Professor Trelawney said in an emo voice, drinking some Veritaserum.

Hi fucker," I said. (Why is she getting away with talking to her teachers like this?) "Listen, Satan asked me out to a gothic concert and a movie, so I need a sexy new outfit Also, I'm playing in a gothic band, so I'll need a new outfit for that.

"Oh my Satan!" gasped B'Loody Mary. "Want to go to Hot Topic to shop for your outfit?"

"OMFS, (that's 'Oh my fucking Satan' for those who didn't know) let's have a group cutting session!" cried Professor Trelawney. (coughAttentionwhorescough. Also, .)

"I can't fucking wait for that, but we need to get some stuff first," said Willow.

"Yeah, we need some potions for Professor Trelawney so she won't be addicted to Veritaserum anymore, and w also need… some love potion for Ebony," Draco said despondently.

"Well, we have potions class now," Willow said. "So let's go."

We sexily walked to Potions class. But Snape wasn't there. Instead there was Cornelius Fudge! (You wanna know what his last name was before I changed it? It was Fuck. For cereal.)

"Hey, where the fuck is Dumbledore?" Draco shouted angrily. (Um… why would Dumbledore be in a Potions class? And why would Cornelius "Fuck" Fudge, the freaking Minister of Magic, be subbing for Snape?)

"Shut the fuck up!" shouted Cornelius "Fuck" Fudge. "He is in Azkaban now, with Snape and Lupin. He is old and weak and he has cancer. Now do your work!"

My friends and I talked angrily.

"Can you believe Snape used to be gothic?" Vampire asked, surprised.

"That's it!" Cornelius "Fuck" (although this time it was spelled 'Fuk') Fudge angrily said. "I'm getting Professor Umbridge!"

He stomped out angrily.

My friends and I began talking again. I drank some blood mixed with beer. Suddenly, I saw Hagrid in the cupboard.

"What the fuck is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He was wearing eyeliner tons of eyeliner and he looked sexier than ever. Suddenly Draco shouted "Hagrid, what the fuck are you doing?"

I looked around, Hagrid was putting something in my glass of blood. Draco and Vampire started to sexily beat him up. (You mean they sexually assaulted him? Cause that's the only way I can think of to beat someone up sexily.)

"God, (Don't they mean 'Satan'? I mean, really. They say they're Satanists, but here they are saying the Lord's name. They need to make up their minds) you are such a poser!" I shouted at Hagrid. I looked at what he was putting in the blood. It was Amnesia potion!

Zoe's AN: Because instead of using the Obliviate spell, he decided to use a made of potion. Maybe he was gonna date rape her? Or something? I dunno. Weird chapter. Please R&R people! We're getting a blizzard here, so there might not be school tomorrow, in which case expect more updates!