DISCLAIMER: All rights of original Bleach characters/story go to Tite Kubo (we love you!). ….
…..….~o0o0o0o0o0o0o~….
"An interview?" Saya shuffled some files at the Kurosaki Clinic's desk.
"Just a simple Q&A," Rukia explained. Ichigo was leaning in the doorway of the Clinic, weighing in on the conversation.
"And what kind of Q's does Kisuke Urahara plan on asking?" Saya inquired warily.
"He didn't exactly print me off a list," Rukia crossed her arms. "But he said it'd be fun! Apart from the fiasco that happened with Grimmjow, his shows generally are good-humored. From what he said, you'll talk, have tea, then Getsuga Tensho takes it from there."
"Hmm," Saya tapped her pen with gentle consideration.
"Chad's wrist will be healed by then, so I think it's a great opportunity," Rukia sustained. "And haven't you met Urahara before?"
"Yeah," Saya nodded at the memory. "He did seem nice."
"I think the guy is fishy," Ichigo threw out his opinion.
Saya tilted her head in contemplative thought. She did agree with Ichigo on that point.
"He's a slippery seal, I'll grant you," Rukia nodded. "But really, how much harm could one appearance on his show cause? This is your chance to let people see your side of the story instead of Grimmjow's."
"So he is going to ask me about the divorce?" Saya's face flattened in dislike.
"It's bound to come up," Rukia verified.
"Hmm," Saya pondered loudly. "Well I don't think Mr. Urahara would make it too unbearable…he does have a way of making me laugh."
"I don't like it," Ichigo stated strictly.
"Ichigo, it's our chance to perform on live television!" Rukia gaped at her fellow band member.
"That would be cool for Chad…" Saya thought out loud.
"Exactly," Rukia agreed.
"Then let's do it," Saya confirmed. "It'll give Getsuga Tensho the chance to make a statement."
"Alright, I guess I'm in," Ichigo sighed and gave Rukia a soft smile.
"Besides," Saya reverted to looking over a patient's file. "Mr. Urahara can't have anything too terrible stashed up his sleeve…"
Rukia didn't respond to that comment. She knew more than she let on about what Kisuke had planned…
…..~o0o0o0o0o0o0o~…
A WEEK-ISH LATER:
Saya hadn't had any contact with Grimmjow. She was glad of it, but it also surprised her that he had stayed silent over the pictures circulating of her and Nel on stage with Getsuga Tensho; or over the news stories that had been bombarding the media over what had transpired on the Urahara Hour, and the viral video of Kenpachi crushing Grimmjow's balls into smithereens.
A quiet Grimmjow is always a suspicious Grimmjow, in Saya's opinion.
From what Rukia told her, Jackass-Smurf was still hospitalized. They wouldn't be able to tie up the loose ends of their lawsuit until he was well enough to make trial. Things seemed to be adapting fine—apart from Nel not wanting to sleep in her own bed, but Saya didn't mind. She figured Nel would need more time to adjust, knowing that her Mama and Dada wouldn't be the same. It was a big change for her.
Saya still worried that Nel didn't fully understand. But she wasn't going to keep bringing up Grimmjow in front of her little munchkin.
Chad's wrist had thankfully mended and he was pumped that Getsuga Tensho already had another show lined up so soon.
"15 minutes till you're on!"
"Thank you," the mother bowed nervously at an Urahara Hour crewmember.
Before the show, Mr. Urahara had given Saya a survey to take, while being hooked up to a lie detector test. It was some basic questions about her likes and dislikes and lifestyle. There were a few odd questions, but nothing extreme. Some did reference her 'latest partner' but Saya had decided to just be honest in her answers. She had prepped herself for the divorce subject popping up. Rukia had been telling Saya for a while now that it would be good to put some depth to the faceless image of herself that the media had cast for her.
"Is Nel doing okay?" Saya asked the employee. What freaked her out the most was that Nel had a role in this interview session. Nel would stay backstage—which was the only reason Saya had agreed, and because Rukia had reassured her—but Nel was supposed to participate in one of the surprise games Mr. Urahara had planned.
"She's all settled," the man smiled with a hand on his earpiece.
"Good," Saya replied skeptically. Here's hoping she doesn't bite anyone…
"Hey, how you holding up?" Ichigo entered the area where Saya had been waiting. He and the others had been getting their instruments ready on the side stage of the studio.
"I'm nervous," she smiled.
"Yeah, we're all feeling a little out of our league," Ichigo nodded. "Except maybe Rukia. She's used to this professional kind of atmosphere…"
"10 minutes till Mr. Urahara will announce you!"
"Okay," she breathed. "You should get back."
"I got time," Ichigo shrugged carelessly. "We're pretty much set up and we're not on for another 30 minutes."
"I know but," Saya made a face at him awkwardly. "You're kinda breaking my concentration."
"Oh."
"Sorry," she broke into a lopsided smile. "I just need to focus."
"Right, sure," Ichigo nodded rapidly. "I'll see you out there then."
"Good luck!" she called to him.
Ichigo had barely left the waiting area when Rukia bumped into him.
"There you are!" the petite woman exhaled hastily. "I need to talk to you," she pulled Ichigo away from the waiting room.
"What's up?" he frown at her urgency.
"I..I may have withheld some information about the main event of the interview," the bassist looked at him guiltily. "And I want your opinion on if I should warn Saya."
"Tell me," he instantly felt worried by her demeanor.
Rukia hesitated for a brief second before spilling. "It's going to be a double interview…with Grimmjow."
Ichigo's eyes popped out. "RUKIA!" he threw his arms out with exasperation. "WHAT THE HELL?!"
"Look you can be angry with me later! Should I warn her or not?" she demanded of the ginger.
"Yes! Tell her now!" Ichigo power-steered Rukia back into the waiting room.
Saya blinked at their hurried arrival. "You guys okay?"
"Tell her, Rukia," Ichigo ordered.
"Uh," Rukia started inelegantly. "Well you see, I just thought I would give you a heads-up on the surprise for the show…" she managed with an uneasy smile.
"You know what the surprise is?" Saya blinked eagerly at the news. "Crap, am I getting a pie in the face?— Or wait! Did I win a PRIZE? AM I GOING TO NEW ZEALAND?!" 0vv0
Rukia pursed her lips together worriedly. "A special guest is planned to show up during the interview…."
o…...O
"Like… Morgan F-Freeman?" Saya whimpered.
"No," Rukia answered shamefully. "Not like Morgan Freeman."
Saya stared….
Saya sat down….
"Please tell me you're joking…?" she spoke in earnest.
"I wish I was—"
"Aoooooooooooooh GAWD! Are you serious Rukia?!" Saya clenched her eyes shut with disbelief.
"They had it planned—they wouldn't let you on the show without him—"
"—So he's already here? He's in the building?" Saya's thoughts went straight to Nel.
"I imagine so," Rukia shifted her stance.
I KNEW IT! I BLOODY KNEW IT! A quiet Grimmjow is ALWAYS a suspicious Grimmjow! But who orchestrated this? Was it Grimmjow's idea from the beginning?
"You don't have to go out there, Saya," Ichigo stepped in. "You can still back out."
"5 minutes to curtain!" the crewmember announced.
"No, Saya, please don't back out," Rukia pleaded.
"Why not?" Ichigo questioned.
"Because I—" Rukia froze tensely at both of them. "They won't let us play if you cancel the interview! And—Being broadcast on the show would be the best last hurrah for us!"
"What are you talking about, Rukia?" Ichigo eyed her shockingly.
Saya stared at her in realization. "You're leaving."
"What?" Ichigo blinked at Rukia. "You're moving back to Tokyo? Already?"
"Soon," the blue-haired bassist turned glum. "They told me Grimmjow was out of the hospital, so it's only a matter of time before your case is closed, Saya. Byakuya will be expecting me…"
"Have you talked to Renji?" Saya voiced in concern.
Rukia sighed and lowered her gaze. "I've told him. And he's not taking it seriously, of course…" her eyebrows knitted in distress. "But I warned him this was temporary! I just—I wanted him to have one nice thing to look forward to before I go! Something great for him and the band! Because I know as soon as the reality of it sets in…as soon as I leave… he—" Rukia stammered emotionally, "—he's gonna crumble!"
Saya got up from her seat and patted her shorter friend's shoulders. "It's okay, Rukia. You know that's not gonna change anything about the way he feels about you."
"I know," the blue-haired woman respired. "But I can't stand the thought of leaving him behind again…"
Saya exhaled deeply and looked at Ichigo.
"Awh man, this is heavy," Ichigo rubbed his face. We were barely whole again with Chad's wrist just healing…Now we're losing Rukia again?...Renji…that poor bastard.
Rukia suddenly laughed. "Shouldn't you be the one having a crisis right now, Saya?"
Saya calmly patted her friend's hand. "Nah. I'm over it."
Rukia laughed again and wiped the corners of her eyes. "I'm sorry, I should have told you from the beginning—"
"It's okay," Saya cut her off. "As long as you go check on Nel and make sure Grimmjow's not with her—giving you and your Pineapple one last time to shine will be worth it."
Rukia's large eyes darkened. "Saya.. STOP CALLING HIM THAT!"
"Aww!" Saya chimed and patted her little friend's head. "Rukia's in love with a jolly Red Pineapple!"
"Shut up!" Rukia began aiming punches at Saya, but couldn't reach because the taller woman was holding the midget back with her hand still on her head. "Someone might hear you!"
"1 minute to Showtime!"
"Oh snap," Saya and Rukia both cut the crap. "Okay," Saya meditated. "Inner peace…."
"It'll be fine," Ichigo gripped Saya's shoulder. Saying he hated the idea of Saya being on TV with Grimmjow would be an understatement. Ichigo wanted to rip through the building and pummel the bastard into the street. But Rukia needed this. And Saya could be strong. "Go out there and show him you're better off."
"Right," Saya nodded at him. "Crap—how's my hair look?" she pointed to herself.
"Eh?" Ichigo squinted. Why do you care about that all the sudden?
"Rukia," Saya pushed past Ichigo. "Do I look okay? You think I should undo one of these buttons?" Saya gestured to her shirt. "I think it'll throw Grimmjow off."
"NO!" Ichigo shouted louder than he should of. Rukia and Saya both stared at him. "Uhhuh-I-uh," Ichigo blushed. "D-don't you think that might…an-antagonize him?"
"Oh I know it will," Saya said evilly. "Then he'll screw up and say something stupid, muwahahah!...That idiot…" she glared into space.
"Good point," Rukia okayed the provocative move. "You should use every advantage you have."
"Got it," Saya undid part of her button-down top, letting her cleavage peek temptingly from her carriage.
DDammmmIIIIITTTTT! Ichigo's insides roared.
"Here we go!" the crewmember motioned to Saya.
"Good luck," Rukia pinched Saya's cheeks in a rush, turning them pink. "Make that good-for-nothing wish he was dead. And remember to smile!"
"I will!" Saya was ushered off. "Kickass out there, guys!" she waved at them.
Ichigo stared ominously after Saya….
V-V*
He heard Kisuke welcome Saya on to the stage.
V-V**
He listened to the crowd clapping and multiple people whistling.
V-V***
"Are you okay?"
"NO," the orange-haired singer scowled at Rukia. "Thanks for askin!"
"Stop that. You're looking at me like I sold her out," the bassist glared back.
"Cuz you did!"
"Shut up, Ichigo! If that had been Renji you wouldn't have batted an eye!" Rukia argued.
"Who gives a damn if Renji wears something low cut on TV!? In case it's escaped your attention—RENJI'S ALWAYS TRYING TO GET NAKED! If he's not napping in his van with no pants on, he's ripping his shirt off for no reason! I don't know why—But he does! SO WHY THE HELL WOULD I CARE!? SAYA'S A DIFFERENT STORY!"
"I had no idea you could get jealous so easily, Ichigo…And she's not even your girlfriend."
Ichigo's ears burned. "I AM NOT JEALOUS! I JUST DON'T LIKE THIS!"
"Please, you're as bad as Renji," Rukia eyed him with a deadpanned expression. "Go ahead…Stew in your petty overprotective compulsions instead of preparing for the show," Rukia held her hand up in farewell. "I'm off to check on Nelliel."
"HEY."
Rukia turned back and Ichigo was frowning at her.
"I wish you weren't going."
Rukia blinked at him. He was sulking for two entirely different reasons. "Ah, it'll be alright, Ichigo," Rukia smiled at him. "It's not like I'm dead! I've thought about it and I'm sure I could still help record your album," she clarified to Ichigo. "I just won't be able to perform with you guys."
Ichigo frowned at her. He knew Rukia loved rocking out in front of an audience as much as he did. "Do you even want to go back to Tokyo?"
Rukia looked towards the door. "Let's just…focus on making today something good," she glanced to Ichigo with a blameworthy smile. "Since I've already mucked it up a bit."
"You got that right."
…..~o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o~…
"It's such a pleasure to have you, Miss Kurashina! Please, have some tea!" Kisuke Urahara offered the seat on his right and Saya settled into the large white leather couch.
"Thank you," Saya smiled, focusing on the blonde-haired man and keeping her eyes off the large studio audience. "It was so nice of you to invite me, Mr. Urahara…"
"Nonsense! Call me Kisuke! We have quite the show planned for you," the host smiled from under his hat.
"You don't say, hahaha." Saya kept her expression warm, but nervously wrung her hands in her lap. You have such nice manners for a little weasel.
"Some fun games and a live band. And just look at this peppy audience! You seem to have a lot of fans out there!" Kisuke flourished his hand to the crowd. There was a decent round of applause, but particularly loud cheering from one section.
Some women were hooting while holding up a sign. Saya squinted to read what it said. Does that say…Maaah?
"And what do we have here?" Kisuke was also drawn to the group. "You there?! What's this sign all about?!"
"Oh! Thank you Mr. Urahara!" the gaggle of the ladies stood up and bowed. "We're honored to be here to see the show!"
"We're a group called Mother's Against Absolute Ass-Holes, also known as MAAAH," a woman who seemed to be the leader explained. "When we heard Miss Kurashina was going to be on the show, we just had to come here to support her!"
Saya blinked at them in shock. Huh?
"We're 100% behind you for leaving that crack addict!"
"You and little Nel deserve better than that misogynistic cheat!"
"…T-thank you.." Saya was stunned by their passionate support. "That means a lot…"
"He should be burned at the stake!"
"Boycott all S.M.U.R.F.'ed albums!"
"Down with Grimmjow and his devil music!"
"Wow!" Kisuke laughed at their comments. "Well folks, you know what they say, haters gonna hate! Hahaha!"
Saya stared at the MAAAH group. That was awkward…
"What a great start! Now," Kisuke scooted closer to Saya on the couch. "How is that little darling of yours doing? She just had a birthday, am I right?"
"Yes she did!" Saya instantly glowed. "She's six now. And she had her first jump off a diving board."
"Awww," the audience hummed.
"She was wearing a lifejacket of course!" Saya interjected, glancing at the cameras tensely. "And me and—" Saya cleared her throat to interrupt herself, "—some of our friends were there to catch her, so she was safe." You are blabbering. Shut up.
"Ooo, pool party huh?" Kisuke fanned himself. "Sounds like some serious fun!"
"Well," Saya laughed awkwardly, thinking how she generally disliked going to the pool. "Nel wanted to go to the waterpark, so who was I to say no?"
"Was your recent husband able to make the party?" Kisuke easily shifted the conversation.
Saya opened her mouth to respond, but all that came out was speechless air.
"Don't tell me that even after all that happened on our last show with him, he still didn't remember his own daughter's birthday?" Kisuke gasped in dramatized disapproval.
Some of the crowd booed.
"Well…" Saya began carefully. "He…made an appearance…" she grabbed her tea off of the table and took a sip.
"Could you be more specific? I mean, what happened that night?" Kisuke bombarded, and suddenly pulled out a remote. "How did a fun day at the pool lead to this?"
He clicked a button and the wide television screen hanging behind the couch turned on, projecting the footage from the video Renji had posted of Grimmjow getting his balls crushed by Kenny.
The whole crowd jittered obnoxiously with laughter.
"I know most of our viewers have already seen this video, but I'd like to play the whole thing, just once, just one more time—young children are advised to shield their eyes," Kisuke gleefully pressed play and the footage of Kenpachi bashing Grimmjow through the car windows ran through. The studio laughed as the scene played out, and echoed with tremendous laughter at Grimmjow crying on the cement.
Saya had to pinch the bridge of her nose and look away in order not to laugh.
Hehehehehhe cry! CRY BABY CRY! BWAAHAHAHAH!
"How does ANYONE explain how this happened?" Kisuke emphasized, using a laser-pointer to direct the studio's attention around the screen. "This mystery-man has a car bumper! And he is…" Kisuke paused in amazement. "Grating your ex-husbands nuts into butter."
Saya bit back her smile and Kisuke narrowed in on her.
"And here you are, laughing at your own husband's expense!" he exclaimed. Saya suppressed a guilty grin and several people in the audience chuckled.
"It was funny at the time," Saya continued to giggle. She probably looked like a sadist, but she just couldn't hold it in. "That is karma being had in all it's glory," Saya avowed with another laugh, and the audience cheered in support.
"As much as I agree with you, I have a friend I know would say otherwise," Kisuke smirked at Saya from behind his fan.
Saya knew it was coming but she still felt anxious. I need to act surprised. This is supposed to be a surprise.
"And what's this?" Kisuke put a hand suspensefully to his earpiece. "He's HERE? Why it couldn't be! Ladies and Gentleman! We have a surprise guest!" The crowd gasped, then broke into an equal mix of "BOOOO!"s and "YAYYY!"s.
Someone had obviously arrived on stage.
Saya's lungs constricted. Act surprised. Act sur—
A hand came down on her shoulder from behind, clasping it.
Saya whipped her head around with a start, but had to freeze at how close Grimmjow's face was—she had almost knocked her cheek against his. Grimmjow didn't flinch as he crouched from behind the sofa, grinning dangerously at her.
"Surprised to see me, Muffin?"
"Bleepin wanker!" Saya jumped up from the couch and spun around to face Grimmjow and Kisuke, crossing her arms resentfully. "You are NOT invited to tea!"
"What an extraordinary happenstance!" Kisuke clapped his hand over his heart. "A reunion between two long lost lovers!"
"EXCUSE ME?!" Saya full on snarled at Kisuke. That ticked her off, Kisuke calling them lovers like he didn't know they were divorced. "WE ARE NOT LOVERS! WE ARE EX'ES!" Saya clarified sharply.
"You tell him, gurl!"
"Go to hell Grimmjow!"
"And take your devil music with you!"
"Oi!" Grimmjow gaped out at the audience. "Fuck you, man!" he held up his middle finger. The audience broke out into roars of insult, cursing and booing at Grimmjow.
"And fuck you! And fuck you too!" Grimmjow started pointing around the studio audience. "Fuckin fuck all you bitches!"
"Now now, let's simmer down everbody," Kisuke fanned calmly. "We're all adults here."
"Tch! I am fucking calm," Grimmjow flipped his collar up and made his way around the couch. "It's all them fucks out there and this bitch who needs tah chill the fuck out," Grimmjow approached Saya.
"I'm not sitting by him!" Saya decreed and backed away. "No way in hell am I staying on this stage if I have to sit by this two-timing jerkoff!" Saya shook her head furiously and stomped over to the other side of Kisuke. She knew she was going a little heavy on the melodramatics—but really…she did not want to sit by Grimmjow.
"I'll sit by you, Grimmjow!" someone hollered from the crowd.
"You fucking serious, Saya?" Grimmjow jeered at her. "I don't even get a hug when I just got out of the hospital? After you almost had me killed?"
"You're still breathing aren't you?" Saya turned her nose up at him. "If you wanted sympathy, you should've shown up in a wheelchair."
"I'm sensing a lot of bent-up aggression," the hat-wearing host brought his hands slowly down, trying to ease the tension. "Why don't you both sit and we'll talk our way through this."
"I don't want to sit by you either," Saya chided her host. "I thought we were friends, Kisuke. But apparently you've got some special affiliations with Grimmjow that I was unaware of."
"Come now, Miss Kurashina," Kisuke appealed cheekily. "You know I don't play favorites!"
"Oh I think there's a lot more going on than favoritism," Saya beheld the two men, pointing back and forth between them. "Is Kisuke one of the louses you cheated on me with? He is ain't he? Admit it, Grimmjow, you them tall, blonde and perky."
Grimmjow's face contorted in outraged denial. "WHAT THE FUCK, SAYA?! NO!"
"What? I mean of all the people you slept with, at least in this case I understand. I would cheat on me with Kisuke too," Saya pestered Grimmjow's ego with a straight face.
"Heheeheeh!" Kisuke chuckled in delight and took Saya's hand, patting it genuinely. "Ah Saya! I'm rather flattered! And although I have been mistake for a pretty girl numerous times, I don't think I'm Grimmjow's type."
"You got that fucking right!" Grimmjow plopped down on the couch and turned his head off to the side. "Tch."
"Lets continue," Kisuke pressed on. "Saya, you may sit where you feel comfortable."
"Fine," Saya took the spot on Kisuke's left, elegantly crossing her legs.
"So Grimmjow, you're fresh outta the hospital," Kisuke inquired politely. "Have you fully recovered from the accident, or is there some rehabilitation in the works?"
"Oh, Grimmjow's back," the S.M.U.R.F'ed singer answered with a grin. "And ready to rock anytime, anywhere."
Saya made a light, doubtful scoff.
"You think I'm lying?" Grimmjow sneered challengingly at his ex-wife.
"Wouldn't surprise me," Saya shrugged. "All you've done for the past 6 years is lie. So why should I believe you now, when I know how much you love to compensate for things you lack?"
The crowd "Oooooooo'ed."
"If you want proof, you can test-drive me right now, sweetheart," the blue–haired man smirked seductively. "Take a final ride with a real man."
The crowd "Oooooooo'ed" even more.
Saya glared at the Smurf.
"Grimmjow!" Kisuke swatted his guest on the arm. "Mind your manners around a lady! Before you make me blush!"
"Feel free to get a room anytime, Kisuke," Saya retorted coolly. "He's allll yours."
"I WANT IN ON THAT ROOM!" an audience member cried.
"I'll keep that offer in mind," Kisuke nodded. "But first I think we'll move on to a game called…" Kisuke eyed them both sneakily. "Mama versus Papa: Yo Baby Say Whuh!? WHEN WE RETURN!"
"Ahhhhhhhh," The audience nagged as Kisuke pointed at the camera and the show cut to a commercial.
Saya let out a breath and her shoulders sagged. So I'm gonna have to beat Grimmjow by knowing things Nel has said or something? Shouldn't be too hard. But if she did loose to Grimmjow, she'd never live it down.
"I think that went very well, considering you haven't seen each other since your separation," Kisuke chimed. "I hope there's no hard feelings," Kisuke puckered childishly at Saya. "I thought it'd be good for you two to have the chance to reconcile and part in friendship."
"If you're expecting a thank you for setting us up to have tea, then you are utterly mistaken," Saya informed. "The only reason I'm still on this stage is because of Rukia."
"Fair enough," Kisuke stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I have to tinkle." The host left the former couple to themselves on the couch….which left Saya feeling very uncomfortable.
The studio's crew was preparing for the next cut. The audience was chatting and taking restroom breaks as well. Security was ensuring that no fans breached the stage. Saya was distracting herself by looking for Yuzu's boyfriend, Jinta, among the camera crew, when Grimmjow spoke.
"So what, this is gonna be a goddamn trivia game about Nel?" the ex-husband asked out loud.
"Sounds like it," Saya replied dryly, keeping her focus forward.
"And that fuckin carrot-top is here with his stupid band?"
Saya turned her head pigheadedly to glare at Grimmjow. "Ichigo's band, Getsuga Tensho, is playing live, yeah."
"Tch," Grimmjow clenched his fist and shook his head. "Are you trying to piss me off by hanging around those hacks? For payback or some shit?"
"No," Saya answered in a slow voice. "I'm helping them because they're my friends and I want to."
"You fucking hate being on camera," he eyed her harshly. "So why the hell are you playing guitar for them? You never did shit like that for me."
"I guess divorce changes people sometimes," Saya said vaguely. "And I've moved on," she looked at him directly. "I recommend you do the same."
Grimmjow blinked at her, a wounded scowl taking over his face. "Saya," he muttered lowly and slid towards her on the couch.
"Don't," Saya warned him firmly, ready to stand if he got to close.
"I signed your fuckin papers, so lemme talk," he ignored her, growling in agitation.
"Yes you did. And thanks for that," Saya said honestly. "But that doesn't chang—"
"—I'm still fuckin in love with you, alright?" he murmured in a dark whisper.
"I. Do. Not. Care."
"I never wanted tah get your fuckin divorce in the first place—"
"—And I'm sure you never wanted to give me full custody of Nel either?" she shot accusingly back at him.
"Hey, I did that for you," he answered starkly.
"I know," Saya acknowledged after a moment. "And again, thank you. Cuz as much as that makes me think you're an even bigger jerk for giving her up—I know that would be the worst…I wouldn't be able to handle you taking her away…" She opened up. "But when it comes to you and me, Grimmjow…this is as far as we go."
Grimmjow tore his face away, bobbing his head in a nodding motion that was NOT at all in agreement. "So you aint even gonna give me the chance to make up for everything?" He snapped back to her. "After all we've fucking been through?"
"Especially after all we've been through," Saya sighed. She knew that this wasn't easy for him, but she had to make herself clear. "Look, not everything was a total disaster…If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have Nel," Saya admitted earnestly. "And our baby is something I'll never regret."
Grimmjow stared at her, perfectly still.
"Nel's everything to me…And I don't want to cut her Dad out of her life—but you've got to get yourself cleaned up," she said to Grimmjow seriously.
"I said I was fucking sorry for everything, Saya—And I didn't mean tah fucking take a swing at you the other night—I was losin my mind. I wasn't thinking," he insisted fiercely.
"And I forgive you, okay?" Saya resolved. "But we're not together anymore. Please try and accept that."
Grimmjow's eyebrows were knit-tight as he studied her toughly. "So you don't hate me?"
Saya sighed. She did, and she didn't. Or rather, she was trying not to hate him. Saya thought maybe it would be easier not to stay bitter, since Grimmjow was still the father of her child. She sure as hell could never trust him again—but when she ignored the reasons why she hated Grimmjow, and let herself forget and stop caring…it helped to elevate the pain she still felt over his betrayal.
Plus Ichigo said it wasn't good for her to let Grimmjow make her angry all the time. But Saya certainly couldn't forget the song Grimmjow had sang about Nel. Or Ichigo's stitches. Or Chad's wrist.
"I'm pissed at you," Saya decided to say.
Grimmjow's grim features suddenly transformed into a wide sharp-toothed grin. "I can live with that," he divulged with keen optimism. "It's just like when we were dating."
"Bloody hell," Saya mumbled and shut her eyes in frustration. He just does not get it. I AM THROWING YOU AN OLIVE BRANCH HERE! LIKE KISUKE SUGGESTED! AND YOU ARE RUNNING WITH IT LIKE A SELFISH JACKASS!
"You thought I was a jackass back then too," he smirked with even more confidence and put his arm up on the couch's back behind her.
"Yeah, and I should've listened to my instincts and avoided all associations with you! Now get back to your side!" she pointed forebodingly.
"I like you in that shirt," he raised an eyebrow at her alluring neckline. "You look good."
V_V Saya's eyelids slumped.
Okay…I take full responsibility for that one—BUT DAMMIT GRIMMJOW! ME FORGIVING YOU IS NOT AN INVITATION TO FLIRT! I WANT A CLEAN BREAK AND THAT'S ALL!
"Grimmjow," Saya seethed quietly. "My stupid EX-husband? Do you Not know the definition of the phrase: MOVE ON?"
"I think what you're trying to say is, start over," he tilted his head charmingly, and rapped his knee against hers. "Eh, Kurashina?"
"I take it back," Saya shifted away and faced forward with a stony scowl. "I don't forgive you. I hate you."
"Tch, who's fuckin lying now?" Grimmjow's hand brushed across the back of her neck. Saya shot to her feet to escape him—but he caught her wrist. "You're my baby-mama, Saya. You can't be with anyone but me."
"For Pippin's Sake, Grimmjow," she hissed and pried at his hold. "Stop it! People are watching," she begged him, but he just pulled her closer.
"If you don't sit by me, I'm gonna pull you into my lap," Grimmjow smirked with a quiet tone so only she could hear. "And ain't nobody gonna be able to make me let go."
Saya squinted at him in loathing. I know someone who could make you let go. Then it struck her: What if Ichigo saw her sitting next to Grimmjow? What if—heaven forbid—Ichigo saw her sitting in Grimmjow's LAP? No…She couldn't stand for that.
"This is not a negotiation—" Saya attempted to wretch her hand away.
"—Saya, I'm warning you," Grimmjow's grin grew sinister.
"—I can't wait to kick your ass in this game—"
"—And I'm giving you three seconds to sit before I fuckin spank you on yours."
Saya's entire being turned to stone. O.O
Grimmjow had never threatened her with anything so horrifying in their entire relationship. If Ichigo saw that—no way she could allow herself to be seen by Ichigo like that. No way she could allow ANYONE to see her like that.
"One—"
Saya wordlessly obeyed and returned to her seat on Grimmjow's left before another second was wasted.
She knew when to pick her battles. She knew he was not kidding around. There was no doubt in her horror-stricken mind that Grimmjow would find no shame in putting her over his knee on a live broadcast.
No doubt.
"That's what I thought, tch," Grimmjow muttered smugly and rested his arm back on the couch behind her, facing forward with a satisfied scoff.
Ahhh Holy friggin Rome WHY?! WHY THE HELL DID I GIVE HIM ANY GROUND TO STAND ON? I should've guilt-tripped him to his grave—but Nooooo. NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE FUCKING GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO SAYA! MORON! DUMBASS! YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIM WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE! I SHOULD KILL YOU!
"Places everyone!" Kisuke returned to the couch. "We're on in 10!—Oh, I see you two reached a middle ground, hmm? Splendid!"
"We're good to go," Grimmjow answered casually.
FUDGE YOU GRIMMJOW! I AM NOT GOOD TO GO! I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A MIND-FUDGING HOSTAGE CRISIS!
"Saya, you look a little pale," Kisuke observed as he took the spot on Grimmjow's right. "Would you like more tea?"
"Yes," Saya nodded vigorously, pinching the bridge of her nose with her eyes shut. "Tea would be great." FUDGE YOU FUCKING FUDGE YOU FUDGE YOU GRIMMJOW!
The station returned the to the air and Kisuke welcomed the viewers back to the show.
"If you're just tuning in, I'm here with Grimmjow Jeagerjaques and his former ladylove, Saya Kurashina. And we're ready to play: Mama versus Papa: Yo Baby Say Whuh!?"
The crowd laughed and cheered.
"In this game," Kisuke snuggled closer to the man and woman on his left. "You both will be asked five questions that pertain to none other than your sweet smurf-baby, Nelliel! You each get a whiteboard," Kisuke handed them their own board and marker. "And will write your answers as fast as you can to prove you know more about your child than the other parent does!"
Saya smiled in foreseeable victory. I'm gonna butcher you, jackass. Saya scooted a few inches down the couch.
Grimmjow glared at her distance in warning.
"What?" she snapped back at him. "I don't want you looking at my answers and cheating."
"I ain't gonna fucking cheat!" Grimmjow sneered.
"Your track record says otherwise. Cheater," Saya reminded him coldly. Grimmjow's jaw tightened and he cast her a dark glare.
"In the process we'll get to learn a little bit about little Nelliel, and how close-knit a family you are—I mean—were! Whoever gets the most correct wins a mystery prize and will forever be remembered as the champion Smurf-Nanny!" Kisuke went on.
"Where the hell are you getting these questions and answers from?" Grimmjow asked suspiciously. He didn't like these odds.
"The answers to our questions will be provided by…" Kisuke used his remote to turn the flatscreen behind the couch on again. "Nelliel!" The screen lit up with Nel's face. She was sitting on a sofa in what Saya assumed was one of the dressing rooms backstage with a ton of stuffed animals.
"She can't see or hear us right now, in order to ensure her answers are unbiased, and entirely of the little darling's own choice."
Saya frowned at the video feed of Nel. She couldn't help feeling like they were treating her munchkin like a lab-rat.
"You fucking brought baby girl?" Grimmjow furrowed his brow.
"It wasn't my idea," Saya looked away sullenly.
"Let's begin!" Kisuke putted out a stack of cards and asked the first question. "Who…is Nel's favorite superhero!?"
Easy. Saya instantly began writing on her board. She finished and looked over at Grimmjow. He was glaring in thought at his white board, then stole a quick glance at Saya.
"Hurry up, Grimmjow! Time's almost up to answer!" Kisuke announced.
"Tch," Grimmjow quickly scribbled something on his board.
"Alright! Show me your answers," Kisuke waved to them. Both parents turned their boards to the audience and Kisuke read their answers. "Saya, you've written The Hulk!"
"Shit," Grimmjow cursed under his breath.
"Grimmjow, you put Batman!"
That's my favorite, Saya thought.
"Let's see what the correct answer is!" Kisuke directed everyone's attention to the flat screen and unmuted the footage of Nel.
One of the crewmembers asked Nel the same question and Nel instantly responded:
"Hulk SMASH!" she flopped onto the pile of stuffed animals like a diving killer whale. "Hulk is Nel's favorite cuz Mama said he's unstoppable! And Nel loves when Hulkie punches Thor! Keehehehehe," Nel suddenly giggled and bent forward to whisper to the crewmember. "Nel heard Mama say Thor is dah dreamiest."
The crowd laughed and Saya felt her face heat up.
"Who's into blondes now?" Grimmjow retorted back at her snidely.
"At least I got it right," Saya brushed him off.
"Mama Smurf takes the first point," Kisuke clapped for Saya. "Next question: What is her favorite color?" Kisuke waited for them to show their answers. "Saya, you say blue. Grimmjow, you also say blue."
"Oooooh," the crowd murmured.
"Let's find out what your daughter said," Kisuke pointed to the screen. Nel was now jumping on the couch while someone read the question off to her.
"Nel's favorite!?" she cried an continued jumping. "Umm." She stopped in mid jump and fell on the couch, then rolled forward through the stuffed animals and sat up. "Nel doesn't know," she shrugged.
"You don't know?" the questioner repeated and Nel shook her giant head.
"Nel likes blue cuz'a Dadah's hair—"
"Awwwww," the crowded cooed.
"—but Nel likes orange cuz'a Itsygo's hair."
Saya stared at the screen. Bugger me.
"Weeellll," Kisuke looked at the two parents. "Looks like we've hit a little bit of a snag here." Kisuke let the crowd gossip for a minute.
"Did she just fuckin say Ichigo?" Grimmjow's teeth clenched fiercely. Out of the corner of her eye Saya saw his fists shaking white with rage.
"That's what it sounded like, didn't folks?" Kisuke beamed cooly at his guests. "Who is this Ichigo that Nel thinks so highly of?" he sat back in his seat gleefully. "A new friend of yours perhaps, Saya?"
Saya bit her lips in frustration.
"He's a pansy ass bitch, that's what he is!" Grimmjow shouted and rocked forward into a crouching position as he tried to hold back his temper, when Saya grabbed his face.
"HEY!" she looked him straight in the eye, her hand covering his mouth. "Language," she reminded him in a cold whisper. Then she abandoned her hold and concentrated on Kisuke.
"Ichigo," she sat up straight, "is a friend of Rukia's. They're both in the band that's going to perform shortly," she shot a glare back at Grimmjow.
"So you mean," Kisuke used his remote to switch to a snap shot from the Karakura Summer Festival, where Saya, Nel, Ichigo and Chad were all on stage. Ichigo had Saya by the arm. "This Ichigo?"
"Yes," Saya tried to remain as collected as her nerves would allow her.
"And you two are just friends?" Kisuke prodded.
"Yes," Saya blinked obviously. Just because she liked Ichigo didn't mean the feeling was mutual. Bugger bugger BUGGER! Pressure. She was feeling pressure—so she changed the subject. "And on Nel's birthday—which you so conveniently FORGOT, Grimmjow—everyone came over, including Ichigo, and they sang happy birthday to her—which you have never done—"
"BULLSHIT! YAH I HAVE!"
"You missed Nel's passed three birthdays—that's half her life! But lucky for you, I don't think she remembers how you got drunk during her very first birthday party, so congrats! Here's a Father of the Year award!" Saya threw her arms up in the air.
Kisuke was just watching in awe and clapping in delight as the audience cheered Saya on.
"Now as I was saying, Ichigo sang to her and she loved it. So basically," she faced Kisuke with a cruel smile, "He's the only decent male role-model Nel has ever had in her life." And with that Saya crossed her arms and sat back on the couch.
Grimmjow held still. His mind flying off its hinges at what the hell that was supposed to mean.
"And you know what?" Saya shot forward as a thought struck her. "I wish she had picked orange," she said to the audience with a tilt of her head, then sat back against the couch.
"Ooooooo," the crowd called in a gossipy tone.
"Next question please," Saya said to Kisuke with a flick of her wrist.
"Well allllrighty then!" Kisuke's smile gleamed with excitement.
Grimmjow just stared at Saya. He couldn't fucking stand the way her stubborn jaw was set, how she sat there without even looking at him after what she had just said about Ichigo Kurosaki.
That fucking little bitch.
"What," Kisuke paused for dramatic effect. "Is Nel's favorite food?"
Saya laughed to herself as she wrote her answer. She knew Grimmjow would never get this.
"Show me your answers my hearties! Saya, you've written frosted cupcakes—"
"No no," Saya corrected. "Cupcake frosting."
"Oh," the blonde talk show host squinted at her board. "My mistake, it says cupcake frosting—ah, is there a difference?" Kisuke asked Saya with polite curiosity.
"She doesn't eat the cake part, but she won't eat the frosting unless it's off of a cupcake." Saya shrugged. "Kids."
The crowd laughed and Kisuke nodded in understanding. "Awwh, of course, I'm the same way!" the blonde proclaimed to everyone. "Grimmjow, you've written steak."
Saya slowly looked over at Grimmjow's answer, her eyes blinking perplexedly and her lips slightly parted. "That's your favorite food."
Grimmjow just glared at her. He hoped at least BOTH of them were wrong.
"FROSTIN!" Nel screamed and started wiggling on the couch. "But only the kind on the lil' baby cakes that Mama makes. THAS THE BESTEST KIND!"
Saya smiled with tender pride. She knew Nel loved it when they baked together but she'd never heard Nel say her stuff was "the bestest." Awwh, Saya gushed. She'd make Nel a whole tray of cupcakes when they got home if that was what her munchkin wanted.
"PISS!" Grimmjow's foul mouth roared. "I SWEAR IT WAS STEAK!"
Saya groaned at the ruin of her shining mother-daughter moment. "Have you even ever asked if she likes steak?" she asked tiredly.
"I let her try a bite of mine once and she said she liked it!" he answered bitterly, running his hand through his hair. "This shit is fucking rigged."
"Moving right along!" Kisuke talked over the bickering parents. "So far the score is 3 to 1, with Saya in the lead."
Grimmjow muttered nastily under his breath.
"What is Nel's favorite beverage?"
"What are you putting? Beer?" Saya mocked her uninvolved ex. It honestly wouldn't have shocked her if Grimmjow did answer the rest of the questions based on his own likes.
Grimmjow's eyes flickered over her darkly. How he wanted to shut that dam trap of hers… Besides, Nel did like beer.
"Saya, you have Hawaiian Punch. Grimmjow, you put Jagerbombs."
The crowd was a mixture of booing and laughing.
"Can't argue with that answer," Kisuke winked at Grimmjow.
"You actually wrote that," Saya stared at Grimmjow. He just shrugged.
On screen, Nel was struggling to do a headstand on the couch. Saya tensed and looked anxiously at Kisuke.
"Can you please stop her?" Saya looked at the footage apprehensively. "She's gonna break her neck."
"Nel's favorite thing to drink…grrr," Nel fell flat on the couch and then tried to headstand again. "Dah—argh, yummiestest drink to drink is—grrarrgh-Jager-Toms!" she completed the headstand. Then with a worried expression she suddenly gasped. "Don't tell Mama."
"YES!" Grimmjow clapped his hands together and jumped up with his fists in the air. "That's my baby girl! WHO'S WRONG NOW MOTHA*****?!" he shot his hands like finger-guns at Saya.
"Since when did you give her jagerbombs?!" Saya exclaimed in appall.
"Shouldn't you know? You're her MOM right?!" Grimmjow cackled back at her and plopped on the couch, leaning close to his current ex-wife. "You ain't so fuckin tight with baby girl! HAHAHAHHAHA!"
Saya turned away and shook her head. "Unbelievable."
"And now for our final question, which if Grimmjow gets right, will end in a tie game!" Kisuke built up the suspense. "What…did Nelliel dress up as for Halloween last year?!"
"HAH!" Saya gave a sour jeer. "Good luck guessing this one Grimmjow, considering you weren't there for last Halloween!" Saya furiously wrote her answer on her board.
"Yah I fucking was!" Grimmjow protested, but fidgeted with his pen in agitation.
"Really? Then let's see your answer," Saya tested him.
"Give me a goddamn minute! Jesus!" Grimmjow glowered down at his whiteboard. Fuck….
"You have 5 seconds to answer, Grimmjow," Kisuke timed him.
"Fuck it!" Grimmjow threw his pen and board in the air. "I don't know!"
"She was Boo from Monster's Inc," Saya revealed what she had written. "I specifically coordinated it so she would be Boo, I would be Mike Wazowski, and you would be Sully!"
The crowd "Awwww"ed at the idea.
"And we'd be a happy little trio," Saya ranted. "But you went missing for nine days and never even bothered asking how trick-or-treating went for Nel!"
"Why would I fucking wear that sissy costume anyway!?" Grimmjow fumed.
"You're right," Saya shrugged. "I have no idea why you would want to dress up with your family."
"Maybe if it wasn't such an idiotic costume I WOULD HAVE!" Grimmjow countered.
"Then I guess you should've been there to HELP ME plan our costumes instead of spending all your time away from your daughter and screwing a bunch of skanks!" Saya snapped.
"BOOM! ROASTED!" someone from the audience howled.
"I tell yah," Kisuke beamed. "I am loving this enthusiasm. Which brings me to our next game—"
"No I won, I want to be done now," Saya interrupted Kisuke. She was sick of this and she didn't want to sit next to Grimmjow any longer.
"You did win!" Kisuke congratulated. "Can we please bring out Miss Kurashina's prize!?"
Rukia unexpectedly walked out on the stage, holding something in her hand.
"Well, if it isn't Mz. Rukia Kuchiki!" Kisuke greeted warmly.
Several audience members whistled and cheered.
"I decided to deliver your prize, Saya," the lawyer calmly approached the sitting area.
Saya smiled at Rukia questionably. "What is it?"
"It's a free pass for another appearance on the Urahara Hour!" Kisuke revealed in joy.
"….Great, thanks, Kisuke." Saya got up from her seat and met Rukia half way. "I am never coming back on this show," Saya hissed at Rukia.
"I know," Rukia uttered in understanding. "What a generous gift!" Rukia raised her voice so everyone could hear her.
"You're welcome!" Kisuke rang out at the two women. "So Mz. Kuchiki, is your band ready to rock and roll?"
"Actually, we're having some technical difficulties," the blue-haired woman explained.
Technical difficulties? Saya's mind blanked in concern.
"I see," Kisuke nodded. "Then please, join us for tea and we'll move on to another game while we wait."
"Thank you," Rukia smiled graciously and seated herself on Kisuke's right.
"Sit your ass down," Grimmjow yanked Saya back in place next to him. "You're fucking blocking the camera."
"Our next game is called Seven Years Later, How Well Do You Know Me!?" Kisuke proclaimed. "Based on a survey each of you took separately before the show, I'll ask a few quick questions to see how well you know each other—and give our fans a little insight to your charming personalities," Kisuke added with humor.
"Grimmjow, you're up first. What is Saya's favorite TV show?" Kisuke asked.
"Tch, the fuck if I know," he crossed his arms unhappily. "She watches too fuckin many!"
The crowd boooed.
"You'll have to pick one," the blonde-haired host instructed.
"Fine," Grimmjow shrugged at a loss. "That fucking British show with the gay butler."
"Nope," Rukia said from around Kisuke. Grimmjow shot daggers at the tiny witch.
"Oh I love Downton Abbey," Kisuke fanned himself fondly. "Unfortunately—that is not the correct answer!"
"Tch!"
"Based on Saya's survey, her favorite is Malcolm in the Middle!"
Saya shook her head solemnly at Grimmjow. "How could you not remember that?"
"Tch! If you've got such a good memory, then what's mine?!" Grimmjow shot back angrily.
"South Park."
"She's right, according to your survey," Kisuke verified.
"Tch! That's fucking obvious!"
"Next question, Saya," Kisuke ignored Grimmjow's bitching. "Where is Grimmjow ticklish?"
Saya instantly peered over at Grimmjow with a devious smirk. "Interesting you should ask…"
"I ain't ticklish. Anywhere." Grimmjow answered excessively.
"Really?"
"NO," Grimmjow communicated with his eyes in paralyzed desperation for Saya NOT to breath a word of where he was ticklish. It was a fuckin embarrassment to him and he knew Saya knew that.
"Hehehehehehehe!" Saya couldn't help laughing. "Sorry Grimm, I have to answer," Saya shone in treacherous glee. "Grimmjow has a tickly butt," Saya sang, her features lighting up at his humiliation.
The crowd broke out in high-pitched squeals and Grimmjow's face burned red.
Rukia shut her eyes with disdain.
"Hah hah hah!" Saya pointed at him.
"I DO NOT!" the red-faced Smurf denied.
"Then you won't mind if we demonstrate?" Saya raised an eyebrow.
Grimmjow's throat hitched.
No fucking way Saya would put her hands on his ass when they were on TV. But then she arched her back invitingly—and subtly enough that only Grimmjow would notice—and inclined herself so close, Grimmjow could see right down her shirt. Her long tresses of brunette hair were dangling against his shoulder, making him tingle.
She asked another question but he wasn't listening. The only thoughts ringing in Grimmjow's head besides—I like me dose Tah-Tahs ;}—was that he wanted Saya's hands on him ASAP.
Grimmjow nodded zealously at her question—but his concentration was broken when he heard Kisuke's voice.
"If you say so, Grimmjow!" the hat-wearing weasel frisked Grimmjow's behind and the lead singer burst out of his seat in panic.
"WHAT THE—AAAHHAHAH—" Grimmjow jittered and slapped Kisuke away, covering his rear. "WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?" Grimmjow thundered highly, having gone red in the face.
The audience had burst into sidesplitting laughter, Saya giggling just as loud.
"Damn woman," Grimmjow growled at her. He'd wipe that smirk off her face if she didn't look so fucking cute, turning pink with her posture curling and uncurling in between hysterical breaths.
"You didn't hear a word I said did you!?" She spasmed through her giggles. "Serves you right!"
"Tch," Grimmjow surrendered back to his seat. "Gimme the next question!" He didn't want to linger on this stupid topic.
"Now hold on, what's Saya's tickle spot?" Kisuke asked.
"Her legs, and don't even think about testing her," Grimmjow glared at his host.
"As you wish. What is Saya's favorite movie?"
"Fucking Lord of the Rings!" Grimmjow prided himself in his first certain answer.
"Nope!" Kisuke and Rukia instantly shot him down in unison.
"FUCK THAT! I KNOW I'M RIGHT!" Grimmjow swore in atrocity.
"You'd still have to pick which one out of the trilogy is my favorite," Saya shook her head. "Even then, my single favorite movie of all time is The Princess Bride."
"You don't know very much about her, do you Grimmjow?" Rukia sipped her tea icily.
"Shut your trap, Kuchiki."
"Keep it up, Grimmjow," Rukia's expression was perfectly serene. "I will lawyer the shit out of you."
Saya sniggered to herself, and the few in the crowd who heard Rukia's comment chuckled as well.
Grimmjow's eye twitched. "So what's my favorite then?"
"You probably said it was The Boondock Saints," Saya answered automatically. "But your real favorite is Tropic Thunder."
"HahHAH! Ah yah," Grimmjow suddenly laughed in agreement. That movie's dope as fuck!
"Saya knows you better than you do," Rukia remarked.
"For real," Kisuke matched Rukia's observation. "And you hardly know the first thing about your wife. For shame, Grimmjow…Is there anything you can say you truly know about her?"
"Her cup size," Grimmjow threw out pompously.
"AYE MAMI!" someone in the crowd whistled.
"Grimmjow!?" Saya flushed and cringed away from him in disgrace.
"What? I know all your measurements," Grimmjow eyed her haughtily.
"So the only things you know about me are physical? How sweet…" V_V
"Of course that's all he knows," Rukia furthered. "The only time you two ever got along was when you were copulating."
"RUKIA!?" Saya gaped in betrayal at her friend. WE ARE ON DAYTIME TV!
"What?" Rukia blinked in honest surprise. "I thought everyone knew that…?"
"Let's put that theory to the test then," Kisuke suggested. "I want you both to think of a memory where you did something nice for the other that didn't end in carnal activities."
Grimmjow blinked in confusion. "Eh?"
Saya shut her eyes awkwardly. Please..STOP.
"Come on, a single romantic gesture just to show that you care?" Kisuke proposed.
Saya and Grimmjow were both staring into space now. Racking their brains.
Grimmjow doing something nice…? With nothing in it for him? Saya struggled to find an example, there were so few.
How the fuck can you have romance with no sex? Grimmjow literally had no clue.
"I've got one…" Saya quietly spoke.
Grimmjow blanked in surprise.
"Ooo," Kisuke opened his ears eagerly. "Story time!"
"One time I had really bad cramps," Saya divulged. "And Grimmjow came home with Ben & Jerry's just for me…" Saya didn't really want to go on, she summarized as best she could. "…And he rubbed my back till I fell asleep. And the next morning I woke up—he had already gone to record at the studio—but he had put on my Boys Over Flowers series and left a tray of hot coco for me and Nel, with a rose…"
"Awwwww!" the entire audience swooned.
"GRIMMJOW I LOVE YOU!"
"SO SWEET GRIMMJOW!"
"That's what you picked?" Grimmjow squinted at Saya in aversion. "That ain't fucking romantic!"
All Grimmjow remembered from that incident was the agony of having to rely on Nel to show him how to make hot chocolate. It took her a whole fucking hour before she finally explained all he needed was stupid instant powder mixed with hot water. Then he had to deal with Nel drinking every cup he made before he could even put marshmallows in it. 6 glasses and many 'Dammit Nel!'s later, he decided to make Nel her own fucking gallon of the stupid beverage. It was a nightmare. The absolutely last thing he would call romantic.
"You fucking made breakfast in bed all that Goddamn time. How the fuck is that a big deal?" he demanded in incomprehension.
"Because you never made me breakfast in bed," Saya glared at him from the corner of her eye. "It was special."
"Tch," Grimmjow rolled his eyes. "Saya. I bought you a fucking ISLAND for Valentines Day—"
"Don't even, Grimmjow," Saya gave him a no-bullshit, talk-to-the-hand pose. "Don't even—"
"—Your own damn Island because YOU asked me too, Saya—"
"I asked for a COUNTERTOP Island! For the Kitchen! To COOK on!" Saya accentuated with impatience.
"Not this again," Rukia massaged her forehead. She'd heard this argument so…so many times.
"How the fuck am I supposed to know the difference between when you mean: cooking on the fucking beach and cooking on a stupid fuckin kitchen appliance?!" Grimmjow threw up his hands.
"I TOLD YOU! I said: 'Grimmjow, if you're planning on getting me anything nice, you should get this countertop island!' I even printed you off the itinerary from the internet!"
"What's more romantic?" Grimmjow laughed in incredulity. "A goddamn slab of marble—or YOUR OWN TROPICAL ISLAND?!"
"Tropical Island?" Saya repeated derisively. "It might as well have been a sandbar, Grimmjow! A sandbar with two fricking trees where the tide comes in every night and plunges everything under water! I don't even like going to the beach."
"Oh so when I want to go to the beach, you hate it—but when Nel has a birthday party, you skip off to the pool like laddie-fricking-da!" the ex-husband exaggerated in jealousy.
"It was NEL'S birthday—not mine," Saya laid out her reasoning. "SHE wanted to go to the pool. That's the difference between you and me Grimmjow. When I give a present, I make sure it's something that'll make the one on the receiving end happy—even if I don't like it!"
"HMPH!" The former lovers crossed their arms and turned away in unison.
"Well, that took a bitter turn," Kisuke narrated from behind his fan.
"I think that what we've learned here today," Rukia pitched in her Kuchiki manner. "Is that neither of you are at fault for the fatal end of your marriage. What we have here is a mistake; the consequence of two people who were too young to know that they were SO wrong for each other. Your relationship was doomed to fail," Rukia diagnosed in utter certainty. "The only thing that held your rocky relationship together was that you both enjoyed procreating—and look at what that resulted in…a freak of nature," Rukia hinted at Nel. "A monster child. Who is not only physically disturbed, but mentally disturbed—"
"What did you just say about my baby?" Saya blinked at Rukia in perplexed infuriation. Saya looked out at the audience. "This is my best friend insulting my child," she pointed at Rukia, and then Grimmjow. "And this is the man I married who doesn't care about my child…"
"That aint true," Grimmjow balked.
"I've made some very poor choices…" Saya sighed into her hands.
"I hear ya…" Kisuke nodded somberly. "So!" he straightened up in merriment. "Think that band of yours is ready, Mz. Kuchiki?!"
"They'd better be!" Rukia smiled stringently.
"Then go join your fellows!" Kisuke shooed Rukia away and the petite woman ran off to the other stage. "May I present, as a special treat—for the first time in a live studio audience…GETSUGA TENSHO!"
A curtain rose on the far studio platform of the stage: Ichigo, Chad, Rukia, and Renji stood at the ready.
"1,2,3!" Renji clacked his drumsticks for a count down. "BANZAII!"
The four of them broke into Ichirin No Hana. They played masterfully and drove the audience to moshing cheers. Saya was so happy to see Chad rock his solo. He was always so chill, but intense when he played. Ichigo seemed a little off his game…
When they ended, the audience was calling for more. Kisuke and Saya were both hooting and applauding. Only one person seemed to dislike the breakthrough band.
"BOOOO!" Grimmjow bellowed, cupping his hands to channel his slandering taunts. "BOOOOOO!"
From the side stage, Ichigo's attention was drawn to that hateful voice.
"YOU SUCK KUROSAKI! BOOOOOO—OW!"
Saya had smacked Grimmjow upside the head. "Stop being rude!" she scolded him.
"Don't tell me you like that shit!?" Grimmjow turned on Saya.
Ichigo gripped his guitar tightly. He'd had just about enough of Grimmjow bullying Saya for one day.
"Yeah, I do," Saya self-proclaimed. "So stop bashing them just because you're jealous."
"Jealous? I ain't fucking jealous!" Grimmjow steamed at her. "Any fucking talent they got is because you've been helping them!"
"All I did was sub for Chad," Saya articulated. "They wrote all their lyrics and notes themselves. Unlike you—Mr. Magic," Saya implied her assistance with some recent raps he had recorded before the divorce. (A/N: Refering to Magic (feat. Rivers Cuomo) by B.o.B.)
"So what? You saying I can't write a song by myself?" Grimmjow's body pulsed at the insult. "You fucking saying that you and this shitty band can do better than S.M.U.R.F'ed!? Tch—you only ever filled in blanks for me, you couldn't write squat for a song by yourself!"
The audience was starting to tune in to their argument.
"I got a notebook full of them," Saya squinted sassily at him. "I just never showed you because I knew you'd take over and would never let me have my own song!"
"Say what, bitch!?" Grimmjow blinked at her. "I always fucking wanted you to perform with me!"
"Yah as a back-up dancer who grinds on you in music videos!" Saya glared at him. "You've never taken me seriously as a musician! Even though I help you all the time with what YOU want to sing about!"
"Fine! Since you think these bitches are so fucking great," Grimmjow stood up and pointed at Getsuga Tensho and Saya. "I fucking challenge the both of you! To a concert! We'll see who makes the better music!"
"Ooooooo," the audience gasped at the turn of events.
"Done!" Ichigo accepted the challenge. "We'll wipe the floor with you!"
"Only new songs," Saya laid down some ground rules. "None that either of us have already performed or distributed publicly."
"Tch! Like I care!" Grimmjow snarled at her. "All I can say is you'd better get composing, cuz next time I see you," he narrowed in particularly on Saya. "YOU'RE GETTING FUCKIN S.M.U.R.F'ed!"
…TO BE CONTINUED….
So a showdown between Getsuga Tensho and S.M.U.R.F'ed is in the works! Sorry this chap was so long. PLEASE REVIEW AND THANK YOU FOR READING!
I SHOULD BE UPDATING AGAIN TOMORROW!
NEXT CHAPTER: Sing To Me