Edward:
"Did you get your tux yet?"
Jasper plopped down in the seat across from me and eyed me over his Coke can.
"Why do you sound like a girl?"
He allowed a smile and shook his head. "Trust me. If you want to keep your girl happy around prom time, you have to think like a girl. That means talking about shopping and flowers and shit. So, I ask again—did you get your tux yet?"
"You forget I have the most amazing girlfriend in the entire world. I had to talk her into going to prom. Everything I do from here on out is just bonus points."
Jasper laughed until he snorted. "Jesus, you're such a dumbass sometimes. You may have had to convince her, but now that she's on board, you better bring your A game. I'm not kidding. The prom is like…the wedding without the commitment. If you mess this up, she'll never forgive you."
He said wedding. My heart did a little flip at the word, and I had to busy myself with my pizza so Jasper wouldn't see. He already called me whipped, though he had a lot of room to talk with the way Alice'd had him tied up in knots for years.
"I didn't rent it yet, but I found it. Bella's going to love it. It's camouflage."
Soda spewed out of Jasper's mouth and nose, covering me, my lunch, and most of the table.
"Please tell me you meant to say something else."
"No way, dude. Camouflage. The whole thing. Pants, jacket, vest, bow tie… The only thing that's not is the shirt. I have to buy my own."
"You are the dumbest son of a bitch that ever lived. I'm glad you didn't already pay for it." He dropped his voice when he saw the girls approaching. "You better cancel your order or whatever and get a real tux. She'd probably let you by with a suit, as long as it's a really nice one, but you can't wear camouflage to the prom. She'd never forgive you."
I narrowed my eyes at him, certain he was wrong. I had the coolest girlfriend in the world, and she'd think a camouflage tux was the funniest thing ever.
"Watch." I mouthed the word to Jasper, confidence in my girl nearly brimming over.
"I got my tux today." I pulled Bella into my lap as I spoke.
Her eyes shone with excitement. "Is it nice?"
"It's perfect. The whole thing is camouflage."
She giggled helplessly and pressed a kiss to my temple. "You're such a nut. Of course it's camouflage. I wouldn't expect anything else."
Alice glared daggers at me but didn't say a word. I was too busy reveling in my victory over Jasper to notice he was about to speak.
"You do know he's serious, right? He picked out the whole thing, down to the bow tie. It's brown and green."
Bella froze in my arms. "You really got a camouflage tux?"
Her face was pale and drawn, all traces of humor gone.
Whoa. Prom is important. Duly noted.
"Shut up, Jasper. I didn't really get the camouflage tux, baby. We're just teasing you."
Jasper kicked me under the table, and I bit my lip to keep from shouting. So he was right. Big deal.
Actually, it was a big deal. If he hadn't said anything, I'd have ruined my girl's whole high school experience. With my head hanging in defeat, I glanced across the table. Ignoring his smug smile, I mouthed more words.
"Thank you."