Calley felt a little like she was invading, even though the blue-banded turtle had assured her that he didn't mind if she watched him work through his katas. She'd seen something similar performed by Shirou a few times before, but the young warrior didn't often run through the routines back in his quarters where she'd been confined almost all of the time. The man's pride and self-assured nature were evident in every action that he took, but never more so than he was trying to show off to her.
What little experience she had watching the warrior practice his forms, proved to be a dramatic departure from observing Leonardo. The lines of his form that he was creating were so precise, so elegant, reminding her more of the dancers she'd grown up training alongside, than the demon of a man that had dominated her for months.
Calley shouldered her way more comfortably against the wall, surprised by the feeling that was stirring as she'd been watching for several minutes. She'd observed the way that the other brothers looked to him, the manner in which he seemed slightly elevated. In most ways, Leonardo and his brothers seemed to be equals, and yet the mantle on his own shoulders had become obvious to her, though no one had spoken it outright.
In the same manner, she'd quietly watched the way he related to to each of them, engaging in a similar and yet somewhat unique fashion, depending on who he was dealing with at the time. To see such open camaraderie without a hint of underlying maliciousness was something she had not seen mirrored under human counterparts. The closest she could even begin to equate it to were the brief flashes that she had of her father engaging with the men from SWAT, men who would have gladly taken a bullet for one another before ever standing down. The same protectiveness was present in the atmosphere that she'd been dwelling in for days already.
When she was able to divorce herself from the critical voice within that commented on her every action, Calley found herself experiencing surges of a deep sense of intuition. It had been a long standing experience from her earliest youth, but had later been lost firmly inside the mess her mind had later become. With that intuition came a true sense of the others around her, that went so much deeper than words could.
Without knowing the two women well, it was still rather simple for her to get a feel for where both of them stood. Jenna was wary of being really seen, with somewhat of a guarded surround that carefully controlled the emotions that she consciously allowed anyone to pick up on. She had the distinct impression that it was a long standing defense, and not something that actually related to the turtles in any way, shape, or form. Donatello was the only one that Jenna's spirit seemed completely open to.
Karina, on the other hand, was an open book of emotion, which required little or no intuition to decipher. Calley sensed that the woman was making attempts to cover some of it, but for the most part was completely unable to disguise her actual feelings at any given moment. Calley had only recently gotten out of her own head long enough to recognize that Karina seemed almost tortured by something underneath. Her joy over Raphael was as bright as an undwindled flame, but the burden never completely left her shoulders, even among him.
All these thoughts washed over her like a slow ocean tide, while she never took her eyes off Leonardo, and his own focused dance. Her mind relished the activity, the challenge of seeing past the exteriors, without the hampering effect of her own withdrawal consuming her. She couldn't shut it down completely now anymore than she could before, but it had become much easier to distract from it.
Leonardo was winding down, coming back to himself, to the imposed limitations that the earthly realm required. There were times when he was disconnected from it, when it seemed that there was nothing at all to stand between himself and the rest of time and space. It was in that "in between" place that his Master's words still felt alive in many ways, where he was able to remember him the most clearly. It wasn't something that he was completely able to control. He had no power over what words, teaching, or memory would greet him there. His part was to try not to control it, and thereby squelch the freedom that letting go actually allowed him.
Today he'd heard nothing - merely felt a strong sense of reassurance and peace, that sought to balance out the anger he was harboring concerning the attempt on Tim's life the night before. He didn't have the luxury of venting the way that he really felt like doing, most of the time he could only simmer away underneath. When he allowed himself to completely relax in this state, it was often very much a cleansing effect on what negativity had been trying to gain a foothold.
The room came back into conscious view, and the turtle noticed Calley against the far wall. Her expression was probing, a look that reminded him somewhat of Donatello when he was searching some matter out. He padded silently across the mat to join her, sliding slowly down against the wall. Leonardo shot her a slightly quizzical look, as he tried to imagine what could be going through her head.
"Are you okay?" He asked her.
She nodded, and brushed overlapping blond hair away from her eyes. "Are you finished?"
"For today. I hope you didn't get bored - you didn't have to stay." He replied.
"Boring isn't the word for it." She told him softly. "Watching you is like entering inside of a story."
His brow furrowed curiously now. "What do you mean?"
"Someone like you shouldn't exist, you defy all natural logic and reason. But you're here." She answered. "Part of me still almost doesn't believe that you're real, like you could evaporate into thin air."
"That will pass." He assured her. "You'll realize that we aren't that different."
"What's so wrong with being different?" She asked suddenly. "The world is so messed up at it's core, and it's only getting darker as time passes. Do you know how it feels to be trapped inside that evil vortex, and not see any way out of it? No hope for tomorrow, because it will undoubtedly be the same as today. I never expected to be able to see the real light of day again." She said slowly. "So when I talk about someone being different, you have to understand that it's the highest compliment that I can offer you right now."
"Then...thank you." He said simply.
"It is always like this with the four of you? Or I guess I'm asking...how long has it been like this?"
"Every family has it's problems, as I shared with you earlier." He replied.
"No, I mean with the ninjutsu..." She trailed off for a moment. "Where did you learn all of it? I've seen something like it before, but not like...not the way you do it."
Leonardo couldn't help snorting slightly. "I imagine the Akiudo's version of training would differ a little from our own. Our father taught us, he was a great Master...a great man."
"He was?" She echoed. "I take it he's not around at all anymore."
"No, he's been gone for a couple of years." Leonardo said evenly.
"And now it comes down to you." She said knowingly, cocking her head as she peered into his dark eyes a little more boldly. "You still partially feel like you have to fill his shoes, don't you?"
"Well, yeah...I think part of me always will. I've made so many mistakes in the past, and even in the last year. They only serve to illuminate how far I still have to go." He replied honestly.
"They really respect you." Calley stated. "It's easy for me to see, though I have to wonder whether or not you see it that way."
"Guilt and regret have a way of clouding the perceived vision that you think other people have of you." Leonardo answered. "Especially if you feel like you don't measure up to it. It's a work in progress as far as I'm concerned. I don't live inside of guilt actively the way that I used to, but that doesn't stop it from continually trying to creep up on me. I have to fight it with every waking breath some days."
Calley was quiet for a long moment, as she drew both hands instinctively inside too long sleeves. "They're everything to you. Nothing in this world can even come close to that, can it?"
He nodded. "One thing about living the kind of existence that we do, is that I think it becomes harder to take each other for granted. In the real world brothers grow up, move out, and move on with their separate lives. They keep some kind of connection as they walk their individual paths, but their every day lives don't necessarily revolve around each other.
With us, we live a completely different dynamic. We have to rely on each other, more than many people on the surface would have to. And in their own unique way, each of my brothers is an important piece of the puzzle that makes up the fabric of who we are. Each one is necessary. The thought of functioning without a piece of it...it's more frightening than anything else."
"And your other friends." Calley remarked further. "They hold a special place down here too."
Leonardo nodded firmly once more. "The guest list has certainly grown longer than I ever imagined that it would, but I guess I should have expected it. You start dealing with humans, and sooner or later, they're going to multiply on you." He said a little sardonically. "You haven't even met a couple of them."
"What about my father Leonardo?" She asked him. "What sort of part does he play in all of this?"
"Calley, our human contacts are pretty much like extended family to us. And in the same way that we'd fight to the death for each other, the same stands true for our friends."
"I'm told that the feeling is mutual with him." She said thoughtfully.
"You're right. Your dad has risked his career and his own skin more than once to help us. We wouldn't ask that or want that from any of you. But preventing it seems just as possible as forcing a current to flow upstream, instead of down."
Her sudden smile actually made the turtle catch his breath a little. "What did I say?" He asked.
"Just the way you said that...'any of you'. It almost made me feel like I'm a part of the grand scheme of things."
"You are a part of it now Calley, that is, if you want to be." He added swiftly.
"I don't see how anyone could remotely get to know you, and willingly walk away." She answered.