Chapter 34
MAX:
As soon as I barged through the door, as soon as I saw the others all around the room, looking at Jeb, and as soon as I saw Jeb about to be talking to them, I couldn't hold back the hard cold and hating hurt and resentment. I didn't understand how he could think he was the good guy. Not after this, well, not after anything he's done to us.
I stalked up to him, my anger flaring, and I could feel Fang behind me. I was going for him next. I looked at Jeb in the eyes, and saw out of my peripheral vision my mom coming a little closer.
He was about to say something to me, but I cut him off. "How dare you?"
He looked guilty. He knew that I knew what he did, and he knew that I knew that he was going to be in deep trouble. I didn't even want to hear the answer—I was too pissed at him right now. Any answer would result in me killing him. Even if he was my father, I wouldn't morn over him; I wouldn't even feel sorry that I did it.
I crouched down and then lunged at him, meaning to rip his throat out, just like with any Eraser, but then he caught me by the neck and put me in a headlock. He wasn't doing it hard to where I couldn't breathe, but he was doing it tight enough to irritate me.
I kneed him and twisted out the headlock, and landed a blow on the side of his head. He was down, knocked out. He wasn't dead, but he would be KO'd for a while.
Mom kneeled by him and immediately looked him over.
"Max how could you?" she asked me, looking up into my horror struck eyes for a moment, and then went back to checking my father. Ugh! I hated that.
Ultimate came over to me and pulled me back. I was fighting back tears now. I couldn't believe my mother, the awesomest mother in the world, had just scolded me like this. I didn't mean it like I thought she would never scold me, but I didn't think it would hurt this much.
I went into the corner of the room and curled up into a tight ball, feeling the hurt from my mother, the anger to my father, the kindness from Ultimate, the jealousy from Fang, the concern from Nudge, the knowing look from Angel, the confusion from Gasman, and the worry from Iggy.
I couldn't look at my flock, feeling chagrined and embarrassed. How did this happen? Maybe I jumped to the wrong conclusion. Maybe there was the "bigger picture" thing I was missing.
It made me think of the Voice.
Voice? I asked. I hadn't heard from it in a while. I wondered why I hadn't.
The Voice never responded to a direct question, so I wasn't really counting on hearing it. I didn't hear it, until I thought about what I had done.
I couldn't believe I had done that. I had never been so angry in my life. Not even when the Erasers took Angel, not even when Red-Haired Wonder had got to Fang. Never. And then I take my anger out like this. What kind of a person was I?
It's not what you are, but who you are, the Voice said.
I'm a bird kid. I pretty much got that, I said sarcastically. But I just got so angry at him. Did I hear it wrong? Was that why Mom said what she said?
What one person thinks of something is not the same as others think of the same thing, Max.
Huh?
Perspectives, the Voice said, trying again. Everyone has different perspectives on things that are the same thing.
I tried to concentrate on what the Voice was telling me, but I was too clouded with hurt to really think of what the Voice was trying to tell me. I couldn't think.
"Max?" Angel asked. "Do you need some fresh air?"
I looked at her, looking up from the ground. All I saw in her eyes was understanding and compassion. She knew.
"Yeah. I think I need to spread my wings for a while. When Jeb wakes up, tell him…tell him…" I said, struggling for the right words. I wasn't sorry. I was still pissed, but I wasn't sorry.
"Tell him that I didn't mean to knock him out."
Angel nodded.
I strode to the door.
"Max?" Mom asked.
I looked at her, and tears started to form in my eyes, but I blinked them away. I wouldn't let them win.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
I took off like a bat and flew into the morning air.