Song for this chapter: Perpetuum Mobile by Penguin Café Orchestra

HPOV

For days after our Valentine's day date I felt as if I might swoon when I looked at Severus. I kept remembering how his voice had sounded when he sang, or what his eyes had looked like when he had slipped into my mind to show me what he felt. I thought about the smell of his cologne and that only compounded the problem. Somehow during all of our time together before that night I hadn't noticed that he wore it, but now it seemed to take over my mind. If I thought hard about it I could vaguely remember a hint of it here or there during an embrace or while passing in the hall. But now it was the center of my attention. It disconcerted to me and got me hot under the collar all at the same time.

I wondered if the sudden deepening attraction had anything to do with my reading about a possible soul bond between us. There wasn't a question as to whether I found myself attracted the dark and brooding man because I had known that from the first time I had wanted to press my lips to his. The question was if this new heightened attraction was developing naturally or if it was enhanced by my curiosity as to if we were soul mates or not. Did I want him this badly simply because I loved him, or did I want him this badly because I wanted to know if we would make a soul bond upon coitus?

When in doubt, go to the library right?

So, that was why I found myself spending leap day in the library. As it was a holiday more celebrated by muggles, I had given my students the day off. Of course I was also making them turn in an essay about the history of the holiday. Because everyone else was still holding classes today, I had the library to myself other than Madam Pince.

I knew already that the only book we had on ancient soul magic was in the restricted section, and I had already read it. At this point I was reduced to rifling through the card catalog looking for a reference to another book that mentioned soul mates. Of course I had to be blasé about checking the card catalog so Pince wouldn't ask if I needed her help finding something. I suppose there were upsides and downsides to having the library to myself.

I searched for soul mates and soul bond, but the only references were to the book I had already read. When I went for a more basic approach and just looked under soul, I did find a reference to another book that I hadn't read yet. Surprisingly the book was not in the restricted section. Instead it was located along side somewhat frivolous books about etiquette in the wizarding world and other social books. The location made me wonder if it would really be worth my time, but I pulled it from the shelf none the less.

Going to sit with in a window seat while out in the open area of the library seemed a little too conspicuous considering, so I went to sit at a table. I felt exposed, but I tried to act as if I was reading any random text book. The title wasn't reassuring for considering the book seemed to be about marriages and weddings, but I was willing to give it a shot.

In the end the only reference I found was as depressing as it was enlightening. There was a passing mention in the end of the book about marriages ending. It said that there was a recorded case of a widowed woman who heard a roaring in her ears until her husband's husbands funeral ended. The author theorized that the couple had been soul mates, and the woman had suffered from the forced disconnection from her husband's soul until that soul had departed the earth and left her a tiny bit of peace in her mourning.

Was that what was happening? Did I hear that ringing sound in my ears because there was a forced disconnection between my soul and his? That felt like a confirmation of a soul bond if there ever was one, but I still felt unsure. I should really just talk to Severus about this, though I still felt the impulse to go talk to Molly. It would be wrong to go to Molly first, I knew that, but I wanted a concrete answer. I hated not having an answer; it went against my very being.

And I knew I wasn't going to feel better until I talked about it with someone. That someone needed to be Severus. So I spent the rest of the afternoon gathering up my courage to go down to the dungeon tonight and bring up the subject of soul mates with the man that had somehow captured my damaged soul.

By the time I went down to dinner I had worked up the courage, and was even a little excited about it. Even if it was a nervous excitement. I sat beside Severus, enjoying my soup, but not as much as I was enjoying the scent of his cologne. We made small talk about the upcoming quidditch match with Minerva, but I dropped out of the conversation when the playful conversation seemed to be spiraling into an argument.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked me quietly when he realized I was no longer participating in the conversation.

"Oh I'm great, I was just thinking about other things," I told him in a confidential whisper. "Do you want to have a drink together or something after dinner?"

"I'd like that" he said with a smirk. "Care to join me in my chambers?"

"I'd like that," I repeated his words, and felt a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

We finished the meal in relative quiet and left through the teachers entrance, but the second the door slid closed behind us I wrapped my arms around his. Severus remained stoic and unyielding in front of the students, but in the quiet semidarkness of the hallway, he did not rebuke me. He gently placed his hand over mine where it was wrapped around his bicep and led me further from the watchful eye of the student body. I was tempted to tell him how much I had missed him throughout the day, but that made me feel clingy and young so I kept it to myself and just leaned my head casually on his shoulder as he quickly yet artfully dropped the wards at his door.

"What would you like to do this evening?" he asked me when I released his arm and he lit a cheery fire in the kitchen fireplace.

"I uh… thought we could read together," I stuttered, chickening out when faced with the prospect of actually bringing up soul mates with Severus.

"Reading sounds nice," he smiled with what appeared to be genuine happiness. "This month's potion periodical just came in and it has a follow up article about the wolfsbane alteration that I am interested in reading before I try the change on Lupin."

"I didn't actually bring a book," I chuckled, releasing my nerves in light of how comfortable he was. "But I'm sure I can find something in your personal library."

"I have recently procured a book about how the wizarding wireless network was established that you may find interesting," he suggested nodding his head toward his little living room.

I did see a stack of books, sitting on the arm of his chair, but that wasn't what caught my attention. What caught my attention was the second chair that had not been there when I had come down here for Valentine's day. It was a little smaller than his chair, made of black leather, but it was a second chair. He got me a chair! I felt overwhelmed, and almost gushed out the soul mate thing in a fit of emotion.

"That sounds interesting," I smiled when I had settled myself, and I went to take a seat in my chair, scooping the book off of the arm of his chair.

"Would you like wine or perhaps some milk? I myself am not in the mood for a fire whiskey." He asked, his back turned to me as he looked through the tiny fridge that was stowed away in one of the cabinets in his counter.

"Milk sounds nice," I answered while I wondered if he had used the same spell to power his fridge that Molly had used to power mine.

The curiosity dispelled my nerves or a few moments, but then I remembered the real reason I had come to his chambers and my heart started to beat faster again. I fingered the cover of the book in my lap while I watched him pour two glasses of milk. How was a person supposed to even bring up such a topic. Hey thanks for the milk, I guess this makes us soul mates huh? That hardly seemed like the right way to approach it.

Severus handed me a glass of milk and slid into the chair beside me. He moved the books that were stacked on the arm onto the floor, creating a small table between the two chairs that we sat our glasses upon. It wasn't the most reverent way to treat a book, but knocking a glass of milk off the arm of the chair and ruining the books would have been worse so I did not say anything. I placed my glass beside his, and watched him pick up his potion periodical out of the corner of my eye.

He seemed relaxed as he opened what passed for a wizarding magazine and settled in to read the article he had been looking forward to. I flipped open the book in my lap and stared at the first page, but I I didn't really see the words. Instead I was thinking about how to start this conversation.

I stumbled over different beginnings in my head, my heart rate climbing steadily higher, for a good five minutes before I decided to just read the book. It was a cowardly choice, but I just wasn't ready to bring it up yet. If I were, wouldn't I be able to just spit it out? Instead of trying to give myself a heart attack while Severus quietly reads beside me. Nope… not today. Maybe tomorrow I will have the courage.

The book was actually quite fascinating once I focused my attention on it. So fascinating in fact that I didn't notice how quickly the evening was passing. It seemed one minute I had just decided to actually read the book and the next Severus was closing his journal and collecting our empty milk glasses to take back to the kitchen.

"It's nearing midnight," he said casually as he rinsed the glasses in the sink. "If you wish to spend the evening here, you would not find me to be disagreeable."

I think I may have been the only person on the planet that would have been able to hear the note of nervousness in his voice when he asked me that. It endeared me to him further to know that I was not alone in feeling occasionally unsure of my footing in our relationship.

"That sounds rather nice," I said quietly closing the book and setting it to the side so I could focus on him.

"I think you may enjoy my bedroom chambers," he said in a lighter tone as he set the glasses down and walked over to stand at the top of the stairs leading down into his sunken living room. "If I remember correctly from my forays into your mind, you were particularly fond of your visits to the aquarium with your parents."

"Do you have a fish tank Severus?" I asked him excitedly hoping up from my chair.

"Something like that," he chuckled as he led me out of the living room and through a door so unobtrusive it seemed to be a blank stretch of wall until Severus placed his hand upon it.

The handle seemed to grow out of nowhere, though once I saw it I realized it had been there the entire time. I guess that he had placed some sort of notice me not charm on it, and followed him in. The first thing that caught my attention was the change in light. There was an obvious change in that the living room had been lit by several candles, and the bedroom did not seem to have a light on. There was a soft green light emanating from the darkness of the room that had my feet moving forward to discover the source before I made a conscious decision to do so.

I sucked in a breath of surprise when I stepped fully into the room and I saw what that light was. The room was domed, and all of the walls and ceiling were made of glass, split only by the metal beams that were supporting it. Surrounding the room from what seemed like all sides, was the lake, which appeared to have an earthly light radiating out from somewhere in the center that cast the green light upon the bedroom. I saw a fish swim by and some wild grasses swaying about on the ground near the glass, and I understood the reference to an aquarium immediately.

"Your bedroom is much cooler than mine," I conceded in a half whisper as I tore my eyes from the walls to look at the room itself.

There was a half wall with a gap wide enough to let a person through, that created a sitting area right by the wall that stuck the farthest out into the lake. On the other side of the wall Severus had tucked a small desk into the corner he had created, as well as a queen sized bed that was the only other non –four poster I had seen in the castle besides my own. I was surprised to see that his bed linens were in different shades of blue, as I had secretly expected to see Slytherin green plastered all over his quarters.

"I think I might actually like yours better," he said quietly as he moved behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. "But I do find mine to be quite comfortable.

We stood together like that for a while simply enjoying the ambience and each other's company. My excitement from seeing his remarkable bedroom slowly faded and I found that I was in fact quite tired. The idea of climbing into the bed beside Severus was sounding rather appealing when it occurred tome that I did not have any pajamas to wear. I was just thinking of actually asking a house elf to retrieve them for me when Severus revealed that he seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

"I have a large t-shirt you could wear to sleep in," he offered softly as he released me from his embrace, and moved toward the wardrobe butted up against the only stone wall in the room.

"Thank you," I said and put my hand out for the shirt that he was pulling off of a hanger.

I couldn't help but crack a smile when I saw it. The shirt was black, but old and faded enough that it seemed more gray than anything else, and it had the famous rolling stone lips emblazoned in peeling screen painting on it. I would not have picked Severus Snape to have an old muggle rock and roll tshirt hidden away in his wardrobe and yet here it was.

"I will step out so you can change," he offered, as he made his way out of the room with what looked to be a pair of flannel pajama pants in his hand.

His departure was silent other than the door clicking shut behind him Everything seemed quiet in this room, like we were a million miles away from civilization even though we were still inside the castle. I basked in how nice that was while I shucked my teaching robes and bra, and slid into his t-shirt. It hit at the tops of my thighs leaving me more exposed than I could ever remember being in his presence though I did not feel terribly uncomfortable. The bottom of one of the stubborn scars that still remained partially visible near my hip could be seen so I tugged the shirt down a little lower.

I neatly folded my clothes into a pile and set them on his desk chair before deciding it might be better to simply climb into the bed, since the stubborn shirt kept riding up and it seemed inappropriate to let Severus see my knickers when we were just supposed to be sleeping tonight. I flipped the blanket back and slid into the surprisingly soft and comfortable bed. To look at, it seemed it would be a rather unpleasantly firm mattress, but it felt like I was sitting on a cloud. I had just pulled the blue comforter over my exposed legs when Severus knocked gently at the door.

"May I come in," he asked politely.

"It is your room after all," I chuckled as an acknowledgment that it was okay for him to enter.

He pushed open the door once more, and for the second time that night I found myself sucking in a surprised breath in this room. He had opted not to wear a shirt with his blue pants, and the exposed chest of Severus Snape was more toned that I had been prepared for. He did not look like some oiled up muscle builder, for which I was grateful but there was certainly definition there underneath the speckling of black hairs. He looked uncomfortable with my attentions so I forced my eyes to go back to his instead of staring.

"Are you going to get into bed?" I asked him when he remained standing in the doorway.

"Is that okay?" he asked quietly. "You seem… startled with my appearance. I know my scars can be a bit much."

"Scars?" I asked feeling stupid as I returned my attention to his torso.

I still couldn't see them. He quirked his brow in confusion and stepped further into the room. When the green light further illuminated his flesh I could see the shadowy recesses created by scars blocking the light. There were a few that crisscrossed over his chest, and one wrapped over his shoulder toward his back and hinted at the existence of more.

"I hadn't even noticed them until you pointed them out," I said as he joined me in the bed. "I was apparently too distracted by the figure you cut in low slung pants with no shirt on."

"Well now you see them," he said in a detached sort of voice as he pulled the blanket over his legs. "I can find a shirt to wear if that would make you more comfortable."

"Severus don't you think it would be sort of hypocritical if I was unable to look at your scars?" I asked him in disbelief. "You have to look at mine all day long."

"I do not notice them," he assured me in a firm voice that carried his affection for me.

"Nor do I yours," I assured him as I lay down, and patted the pillow where his head should be resting. "None of yours scars will scare me off, or make me love you less."

"Even this one?" he asked in a barely audible whisper as he presented me with his left forearm.

Even in the dim light I could see the raised scar where his dark mark should have been. It looked like he had been badly burned, and the flesh was slightly raised in a way that only very deep burns seemed to scar.

"What?" I questioned without seeming t have access to my vocabulary.

"When the Dark Lord finally fell, all of the Death Eaters knew it was final," he told me. "We knew this because a terrible pain erupted in our marks. Whatever spell Ronald used to kill him, somehow caused the connection between us and the Dark Lord to burn. It burned the mark from our flesh in a painful but purifying experience. The traces of dark magic that lingered, always causing pain in the arm vanished with that burning pain, and once the wound healed it was nice to for once feel nothing in my arm unless I was touching it."

"That sounds both awful and amazing," I said in a voice just as quiet as the one he had told his story in. "I don't imagine I would have handled that burning pain very well though."

"I was shocked by it," he admitted. "But at the time I was on an important mission and the only attention I paid it was to bandage my arm in case it was to start bleeding and to take a rather pointless pain relieving potion."

"Well I don't mind that scar either," I assured him as I thought about how determined he had been to try and find me for all those years.

That seemed to settle the last of his nerves, and he lowered himself down to the mattress, pulling the blanket up to our shoulders. He lay on his side facing me, and after a moment of in decision I flipped over and scuttled across the bed until my back was pressed against his chest. He gentle lay his arm over my torso and then pulled me more tightly against him. I was warm and comfortable, and I felt safe. Almost safe enough to bring up the idea of soul mates, but I heard his breathing even out into the sounds of sleep so I let the idea slip from my mind. I listened to his gentle breathing until I too drifted off.

Happy Birthday To ME :D enjoy this chapter, it's like a present to you, but it's really a present for me haha