Chapter 36: Hidden In The Mist:
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!" comes an ear shattering, sickly sweet squeal which can only belong to Yuki. That banshee war song sends alarm bells ringing in my head as my eyes snap open automatically to meet magenta, which look just as panicked as I feel. SHE CANNOT SEE THIS!
When I say this, I mean Hidan and myself curled up together in a tangle of limbs, huddled as close as we can humanly get to one another, my face buried into his chest and his arms curled around my back and hands resting on the base of my back. As if having the same idea we both pull back, bodies untangling and the heat created between us lost in the coldness of the early morning mist.
To say the least our untangling is NOT graceful, me near head-butting a tree and Hidan face planting the ground which would be funny if I wasn't busy trying to locate Yuki to make sure she hasn't seen anything to get the wrong idea…
"That was so cute… HIDAJUNKET FOREVER!" … Just. Fuckin. Great… I hate my life, seriously now… WHY!? I come face to face with a nosebleed volcano that was formally the female bane of my ninja career and a demon rabbit smirking at me like the devil himself… I bet my ass the demon rabbit led her here as revenge for me withholding information, I know a revenge smirk when I see one! I'LL KILL HER!
Hidan looks like a rabbit in the headlights and I'm pretty sure I'm no different from the smirk on the she rabbits face that seems to twist with a dark pleasure of our discomfort… THE BITCH SET ME UP! I thought summonings were supposed to be loyal to their summoners?! Of course I get the only summoning that has an issue with authority. Joy.
Hidan's rabbit in the head lights look twists into the dirtiest glare I have ever seen to grace his features, his magenta eyes taking on a feral quality as the corners of his lips curl into a sneer… I think I feel a headache coming on from the imminent bickering…
"GO FUCKIN DIE YOU WHORE OF A FANGIRL OR I SWEAR TO JASHIN I'LL SHITTING SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN-SAMA!" Hidan snarls like a rabid beast, grabbing his scythe and waving it around threateningly. Yuki doesn't seem to care one little bit and is running her mouth about yaoi.
Keep calm Junketsu…don't kill them… count to ten… 1, 2, 3~
"I KNEW YOU GUYS WERE CUTE BUT THAT WAS JUST INSANE, I NEED TO MAKE COPIES OF THESE! I COULD SELL THEM TO OTHER YAOI FANS AND~"
4, 5, 6~
"I'LL FUCKIN RIP YOUR HEART OUT WITH MY BEAR HANDS AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR CUNT BITCH! YOU HEATHEN WHORE~"
7, 8, 9~
"THEN I CAN USE THE MONEY TO BUY A VIDEO CAMERA AND MAKE HIDAJUNKET YAOI MOVIES! EEEK!"
…Nope… I can't do it…
"Both of you… shut up" I growl quietly but it's enough to catch both their attentions. I'm the most mature member of this squad and I'm 5 years younger than them! It's still early and I want to kill one or even both of them. They're going to be the death of my ninja career!
My blood feels like acid in my veins, whispering angrily in its unknown language while pressing against my skin in an attempt to escape. I clamp down on my chakra in the cells to make sure my anger doesn't get the better of me, I've never had such an accident but I'm still young and apparently have anger issues, being a ninja can do that to you. I raise my hand to my face and massage the bridge of my nose as I take in the brief silence and tense atmosphere. "Yuki, If you dare bring up yaoi one more time during this exam I will personally make sure you don't live to reach the final exam" I hiss as I glare at her. Her body tenses under my gaze as she nods in silence. I can hear Hidan snigger and I snap my gaze to him, fixing him with a glare. "~ and Hidan, If you start another fight with Yuki during this exam… well, lets just say you don't want to know what I'll do to you… alright?" Hidan's sniggering dies down almost instantly and he nods. I'm really not a morning person at the best of times let alone after having a rude awakening… Kaa-San would be so proud of my self-restraint, once she had woken up enough not to murder me or use me as a teddy bear.
I take a few calming breaths in an attempt to wake up enough to not follow in Kaa-sans foot steps and use my team mates as target practice… they're no use to me dead… We just need to get through today, find an unknown forbidden object and avoid whatever the hell other plot twists the demonic tormentor of my life decides to throw at me and my squad, all the while staying alive so as to progress to the final exam… I should have killed them and dropped out… fuck it, maybe I'll kill myself instead and save myself the hassle of today… Ok, little sleep makes Junketsu an emo brat. Think happy thoughts… sultana cookies, BBQ, pranking Hidan, decapitating crazy eyed stuffed rabbits… aaahhh … I hated that stuffed rabbit…
Feeling my anger fade and my headache subside, I smile "Alrighty then, lets get this show on the road and pass this exam!" I cheer happily while Hidan and Yuki scare at me dumbfounded and I distinctly hear the demon rabbit mummer 'bipolar gaki'. Seriously, the rabbit is walking a thin line between breathing and swimming in gravy while encased in pastry today, seriously, what crawled up her bob-tailed ass and died?
We take off into the tree tops, navigating our way vaguely towards the one point on the map we can't decipher… if we're lucky, we'll find the bloody 'forbidden object' and make it out without another bloody mess. We're all tired but we're driven. Even Yuki isn't about to lie down and surrender her future.
"Are we there yeeeet? Junketsu-kun? How much longer is this going to take, my feet hurt and I wanna go home and~" Senbon slice through her pale blue hair and her eyes widen before dodging another attack. "The girl is rather loud, she lead us right to them" Comes a voice I hope my brain is confusing… no… THIS VILLAGE CANNOT BE FUCKIN SERIOUS!
Our team scatters to avoid another bombardment of weapons, this time shuriken, one narrowly missing my shoulder as I back flip out of harms way… that's when the mist comes into it's own, thickening and swirling with bloodlust; laced with chakra as it engulfs our surroundings, blinding us, choking off our sences…
That's when I lay eyes on him…. Must. Not. Fanboy… resist… you can do it Ketsu, just breathe and ~
"So you're the sorry excuse for ninja Yugakure sends us. Pathetic. Nothing but children playing ninja. What do you see in this team Kisame?" comes that all too fermiliar voice and the responding and slightly unhinged laugh makes my fanboy squealing needs go into overdrive… RESIST! "The purple haired kid is promising, the silver haired brat too… shame they're not from Kiri"
EEEK! KISAME'S BACK! I think I can die happy, not only is Kisame here but ZABUZA! I'm totally going to die but right now I don't give a flying bob-tailed rat. I LOVE THEM!
"Oh Hoshshigaki-san you charmer, we love you too" I giggle slightly in full fanboy mode, I HAD DONE SO WELL UNTIL NOW KEEPING THE CRAZY IN! "Momochi-san, you're cool too but big blue and bad ass wins the awesome trophy, sorry tall dark and sadistic, maybe next year" … I think Kuri rat face may have had a point about the bipolar, or at least some mental disorder that needs diagnosing and a prescription of potent drugs to restrain this fanboying before I turn into a Yuki… urgh, I'LL DIE BEFORE I GO AROUND SQUEALING LIKE A BANSHEE ON PROZACK! Hell, if I started that shit Hidan would sacrifice me to Jashin! No thank you, gimme the drug prescription every time!
Kisame's distinctive chuckle ripples the mist with what I can reliably report to be the largest and most potent chakra I have ever had the pleasure of feeling. "hehehe, So I'm cooler than Zabuza… I think I might like you kid" he hisses in delight while I hear a distinct growl near by which is a pretty good indication I've hurt Zabuza's sensitive feelings. Oopsie! I just gotta keep them talkin until I can pinpoint their locations with my Blood affinity. Knowing their direction is good but knowing exactly where they are is better.
I can feel Hidan about a meter away, his blood whispering in agitation, most likely trying to work out the mist jonin's locations but having little luck. I feel another slightly fermilliar chakra a little to my left and can hear heavy breathing indicating Yuki is there, there's no way Zabu-san or Kisa-san would be caught dead letting their guard down even around little upstarts like us, However our team has the advantage as I know about them and their styles and even some of their arsenal! THANK THE NARUTO OFFICIAL CHARACTER PROFILING BOOK AND NARUTOPEDIA FOR ALL YOUR SECRETS!
I can deduct from those statistics and mentions in the anime that Kisame has the largest chakra reserves of the seven swordsmen so can safely say that the larger chakra is Kisa's who is closest to Hidan which tells me that the chakra in the mist is Zabuza's and is the smaller and the one several meters in front. The silent killing technique uses the Hidden Mist technique where the user makes themselves invisible via creating mist or utalising existing mist and tracking their prey by sound alone… We can do this, we can escape… we'll never win in a direct confrontation but we can run… as long as we don't get caught in the water prison jutsu or escape into water.
"Oi, Hida, Yuki… I want you guys to go ahead, the proctor said we didn't need to complete the exercise together to pass and~"
"NO SHITTIN WAY FUCK FACE! I AIN'T LEAVING YA HERE TA~" Hidan snarls as his blood whispers in panic.
"SHUT IT HIDAN! You will do what I say, you and Yuki go ahead. Have a little faith in me and keep Yuki safe, Kuri you're with me. Get goin already"
Kuri's by my side in a heartbeat, reared on her hind legs. Apparently even in a crappy mood as she has been since this morning, she's still willing to help me out, guess she's more loyal than I gave her credit for.
I hear Yuki mumble somthin along the lines of 'Catch us up soon Junketsu-kun' as she makes a retreat to take the longer way round followed by the more hesitant steps of Hidan "You better have a fuckin plan, we've got a promise so don't fuck up" he warns and follows Yuki away.
"That wasn't a bright idea kid, sending your team mates away to face us alone with nothing but a rabbit, your either stupid or suicidal" Zabuza's rough voice mocks me while I breathe a couple deep breathes… lets hope this works…
"I'd say a little of both actually, though if I'm bein honest I'd say I have a preference to suicidal tendencies" I reply, listening to their blood to tell me their positions while feeling out their chakra for fluctuations to tell me if they try to perform a jutsu
LEEEETS GET READY TO RUUUUMBLE!
AN:/:
Long time no update... PLEASE DON'T MURDER ME *cowers behind keyboard* I GOT GROUNDED AND SHIT HAPPENS AND I'M SORRY!
if it makes you feel better the next chapter is already written due to my grounding so it'll be up as soon as I can make it back to the library (yay)