Gotham's Golden Girl 4
A Bird in the Hand
Scene: Gold Wing and Nightwing are in full costume, seated at a dinner table within The Penguin's Ice Palace restaurant. Batman, Batgirl, and Alfred are listening in on the Bat Com Link.
The four goons that Batman had spotted fanned out through the restaurant and bar. "Hold on!" Dick said over the Bat Com Link. He grabbed a miniature Bat camera from his gold utility belt. As quickly as he could without attracting any attention, Nightwing snapped photographs of each of the thugs.
He sent the pictures to Alfred, back in the bat cave. The Wayne family servant had always been an integral part of the team. Alfred would run the Snap Chat photos through the massive crime database held within the mega Bat Computer, a state of the art data file system. The overconfident mooks didn't bother to hide their faces, which would make Alfred's job that much easier.
"Now, do I get to smash heads together?" Laura quipped. "We can't actually do anything unless they cause trouble, or Penguin asks us to kick them out." Dick assessed, though he admired Gold Wing's spirit. "Do you know what my motto is, honey?" Laura flirted. "So many asses to kick, so little time." Nightwing risked a chuckle as he continued to watch the goons' progress.
Alfred and Batgirl snickered, though all Batman did was grunt. The characters that Dick had identified earlier as Penguin's henchmen nervously got up from their seats and scattered, one vaulted up the left side spiral staircase to the second floor office, two more headed back into the kitchen area, and the last one headed towards the bar area presumably to back up the club's bouncers.
By now, the waitress had returned to Laura and dick's table, drinks and appetizers in hand. Gold Wing quickly took a sip of her iced tea, as her enhanced vision followed one of the potential troublemakers, as he circled around towards the south exit. That was near where Batgirl had taken up a post.
"Everyone! Heads up! I'm going in!" Batman's gruff voice informed them. "I'm hitting Penguin's office. Don't make any moves until I say so." He instructed the team. The Dark Knight scurried along the rooftop, simultaneously firing a bat grappling hook at a window's ledge, roughly four stories below him. Penguin's Ice Palace had been built within an old brick and wood warehouse.
The Bat Grappler easily penetrated the rotted wood frame of the window. As Batman swung over the alley, the frame gave way, and the window crashed to the ground below, spraying shards of glass in every direction. Bruce was able to wedge the bat hook beneath the inside window sill, slipping into the room silently. The noise of the crashing window would certainly attract attention though.
Batman back flipped into a dark corner of what appeared to be a file room. The dingy walls were lined with old style metal filing cabinets, some had been rusted through. He illuminated the area with a small bat flashlight. Bruce played the beam off the surroundings, but spotted nothing out of the ordinary.
In seconds, the old wooden door creaked open, and light spilled into the room. Two of Penguins' stooges stepped cautiously into the center of the area, weapons drawn.
"I tink we have a rodent problem, boss." One thug said into an old flip phone, probably a burner phone, in Batman's opinion. Certainly the Penguin would have cameras and alarms set up throughout the building. One thing that Batman could be assured of, was that when it came down to it, Penguin would always choose saving himself over all else. Most criminals were extremely paranoid anyway.
"Really?" Penguin's harsh voice was heard over the phone. "Yeah, it's the flying rodent kind." The second goon added. "Waugh!" Penguin squawked. "Wait! Don't harm him! We may need some help." The former Gotham crime boss directed. "Uh Okay." Goon one said as he shrugged. "Hey Bats, we know yer in here. We seen your little pals in the restaurant. Come on out!"
Batman sighed and stepped out of the shadows behind them, encircling his cape around his body. Both stooges were startled, and immediately put their guns away. "Let's Go!" Bruce growled through his synthesized voice mask. He led the henchmen into the hallway, and along the corridor. He knew the layout of Penguin's place by heart and walked right into the crime lord's office unannounced.
"Well, Caped Crusader, what brings you and your bat brats into my fine dining establishment?" Penguin asked shortly as he chomped on an expensive imported cigar. "I surmised that you have some uninvited guests at the bar tonight." Bruce said with disdain. "Do you mean outside of your pesty pals?" Penguin countered. "That's why I have a full complement of bouncers, Bats."
"If you don't need my help, why did you call Commissioner Gordon, and waste my time?" Batman asked angrily. "You could've just as well called for protection from Gotham P D." Penguin, who stood at least a full twelve inches shorter than Bruce, put his gloved, flipper hands behind his back and paced across the damp and dank office floor. Batman took a moment to check the positions of the new creeps that had entered the building, using the multiple closed circuit TV monitors beyond Penguin's desk.
"It's like this, Bats, I told you that I was going straight after I got out, didn't I?" Penguin began warily. "The problem is that while I was doing my stint in Arkham, I made some powerful enemies." Batman stared at him, stoically, impatiently waiting for Penguin to get to the point. The two goons continued to look on from within the doorway, as of yet, no one had made a move.
"How is that my problem?" Bruce challenged. "Think about it, Bats. You're the hero. You can stand there and criticize, but where's your follow up?" Penguin goaded him. "Mr. Dark Knight, did you really think that Gotham would stay peaceful even after I got out and went straight?" He taunted. "There's a new crime boss waiting in the wings to take my place. He's about to make his laughable presence known."
"You might remember him, The Joker, I believe." Penguin turned to face Batman. He let that shocking announcement hang in the air for a moment. The mention of the murderous, unpredictable, and ruthless Joker's name sent a chill down the brave Batman's spine.
"Joker, who isn't all that funny, contacted me yesterday, spewing some nonsense about an asinine new plan that he was working on." Penguin continued. "He made me a substantial buyout offer that would include purchasing my Ice Palace, my staff, and favorite muscle-headed henchmen. Naturally, I declined the miscreant's offer, using the excuse that you, your pals, and the Gotham P D were watching me."
"That's probably the first time that I ever told the absolute truth." Penguin finished. "You realize of course that the sick psychopath won't simply take no for an answer." Batman pointed out. "Exactly, Bats. This may sound odd coming from me, but I enjoy what I've built here, and I don't plan on letting that creepy clown take it all away from me." Penguin stated honestly.
"Sure, I've been a thorn in the side of Gotham for years, and I don't pretend to be a snowy white owl, but I won't be a subordinate to that monster of murdering mayhem. The bottom line Bats, is that if Joker tries to take me down, I won't let him pluck my feathers. I'll fight with everything that I've got."
Batman scowled. "Do you mean that you'd engage in an all-out war with the Joker?" The Penguin nodded. "You'd better believe it. There will be rivers of blood in the streets." He threatened. "I've been keeping my beak clean, but I can call in favors with the remaining top three crime families that are left in Gotham. I have a small army of devoted followers as well. It's the age of networking you know."
"I'm warning you first, because I really don't have the stomach for a blood feud anymore. I like living the high life, socializing, hobnobbing with Gotham's wealthiest patrons, and all the while making a good, healthy, mostly legal, profit." Penguin concluded, and Batman saw no cause to doubt him. From the Penguin's point of view, this all was perfectly logical.
Back in the restaurant, Batgirl was whispering in Nightwing's earpiece. "Two of the troublemakers are heading back into the kitchen area. Can one of you excuse yourself and head for the restroom? I can't cover both goons at the same time." Dick was about to explain the situation, when Laura nodded. "I heard. Where do you want me?" She asked seriously, all business again.
Quietly, Nightwing got up and circled underneath the staircases where the bathrooms were. Laura stood up, pretending to take a leisurely stretch, as she located the last two thugs. Surprisingly, Penguin had ventured out of his office, with Batman at his heels. Two armed guards followed Bruce as they descended down the stairs. Bruce assessed the angles that his colleagues had on the goons.
"Waugh!" Penguin yelped as he spotted Laura eyeing him up. "That's not your semi-useful Bat brat! Are you expanding the bat family?" He asked Batman over his shoulder. By now Bruce had leapt over the railings to join Dick behind the staircase. "Awk! I hate it when he does that!" Penguin grumbled.
The oddly dressed business owner approached Laura. "What are you supposed to be?" Penguin glanced up at her. Gold Wing towered over him. "Gold Wing." Laura replied simply. "Hmm? So you don't buy into their bat shtick?" Penguin questioned. "It's not really my thing." Laura's synthesized voice answered. "You admire winged things as well?" The crime boss was stunned as he spoke.
Laura held her laughter back as she studied the small villain. He had black and gray straight hair that was slicked back, a large turned down nose that actually could've given one the idea of a beak.
He was dressed in a dusty looking tuxedo, carried a metallic walking stick about half his height, and his gait did resemble the waddling of a penguin. Atop his head sat a 1930's era black top hat. The two guards behind him were hefty sized, but she determined that they'd have no speed in a genuine attack.
Laura was about to answer the creepy little man's question, when all hell broke loose. "Good evening folks!" An oddly dressed, skinny man with a pale colored face, bright clown makeup, and bright orange hair spoke loudly. Penguin's bouncers tailed the new arrival as he strolled through the bar and into the restaurant, briefly stopping by the Ice Palace's decorative fountain.
"Joker!" Batman hissed loudly. Laura hadn't heard Bruce's exclamation because all of the other patrons of the bar and restaurant began murmuring. "Waugh!" Penguin shouted. Laura noted that the small crime boss was partially angry and appeared to be shaking in fear mixed with rage.
"Pengy!" Joker laughed raucously. "You didn't respond to my calls." He approached the business owner rapidly. "Don't you love me anymore?" Joker taunted. He had come through the front doors with another six goons, though none of them appeared to be armed, Laura observed.
Joker was about to bend down and get into Penguin's face when he spotted Laura who ended up smack in between them. Laura still had a couple of inches in height over Joker. "Hello? What's this?" He glanced at Laura who glared back at him, though her eyes were hidden behind her gold colored Mardi-Gras style mask. "Don't you mean 'who's this'?" Gold Wing countered arrogantly.
Joker scowled as Laura disrespected him. "Let's see? Black leather outfit, gold mask, and a gold bird sprawled across your chest." He checked out Laura from head to toe. "Pengy, your taste in women has vastly improved." Joker teased. "How much is he paying you, Miss…?"
"Gold Wing to you." Laura grumbled as she picked Joker up by the throat and held him a good few inches above the floor. "I don't work for anyone, you clown!" She snarled as the thugs closed in on them. Patrons began leaving their dinners and drinks fearing a massive brawl was about to break out.
Joker snapped his fingers and the thugs lunged at Laura's back. Without batting an eye, Gold Wing waited for them to get closer. She gave them a quick backspin kick, knocking them across two tables and a chair without losing her grip on Joker. "Stop it!" Penguin yelled above the din. "I'm losing customers!" Penguin's guards, bouncers, and goons faced off against Joker's thugs, and sycophants.
By now Batman, Nightwing, and Batgirl had entered the dining room proper. "Put him down!" Batman shouted angrily at Laura. Gold Wing took a breath and set the Joker down roughly. He quickly adjusted his loud purple suit, and straightened his red bow tie. "Is this the kind of place you're running, Pengy?" Joker complained. "Hiring two bit thugs to harass your customers?"
"She doesn't work for me, you insipid idiot!" Penguin snapped. "Why the hell are you here?" The goons that Laura kicked had gotten up and lined up behind Joker. "Pengy, I thought that we were pals." Joker began and laughed maniacally. "Yet here you are with an infestation of rodents in your fine dining establishment. Also what kind of customer service is this? The boys and I just stopped by for a snack and a couple of drinks. Get us a prime table location and remove the rodents so we can talk."
"Awk! Fine! Anything to quiet you down, and get my clientele back." Penguin said with resignation. "Bats, take your pals and get out!" He ordered. "I'll refund all of your cover charges. Go!" Joker watched closely as Nightwing, Batgirl, and Batman filed past them. Bruce stopped beside Joker. "This isn't over! If we hear that you or Penguin step out of line, we'll come down on you like a ton of bricks." He threatened and his synthesized voice sounded even more menacing. Batman followed the others out.
Gold Wing stared eye to eye with Joker, though she had to bend her head a bit to match his height. Laura put two fingers to her eyes and then gestured back at Joker, giving the sign for 'I'm watching you'. She pushed past the thugs and trailed the others, stopping briefly to collect the cover charge refund. Unlike the others, Gold Wing didn't have a large financial backer.
"Does this mean that our date is over?" Laura asked Dick sarcastically. He merely grunted. The caped crusaders walked out into the alley. Once out of the sight of the general public, Bruce turned to face Laura. "Thanks for all of your help. Don't you have someplace to be?" He asked icily, as his voice dripped with sarcasm. "Nope, I'm all yours." Gold Wing retorted as Dick allowed a thin grin to cross his face.
"We don't need your help." Batman's tone soured. "Fine." Laura hissed. "You can drive boy wonder home." Gold Wing zipped away. She was gone in a second. "Whoa! That's fast!" Batgirl praised. "Terrific!" Dick growled. "Let's go! Maybe Joker and Penguin will kill each other, and make our lives less complicated." Laura's Gold Wing cycle roared past them and out into the crowded Gotham streets.
"Did we just do the right thing, Batman?" Barbara questioned. "About what?" Bruce asked shortly as they walked towards their vehicles. "Did we just make an enemy of a powerful metahuman?" Barbara clarified. "Who cares?" Batman snarled. "You'll be lucky if Gold Wing doesn't hold a grudge." Dick said angrily over his shoulder. "How's that again?" Bruce stopped to face off against Dick.
"Think about it, Batman." Nightwing began coldly. "Killer Croc, Man Bat, Bane, Grodd, and the others that were metahuman enemies we barely defeated. A metahuman on our side would be much more helpful and safe." Batman was silent for a moment. "You can quit anytime you want, Nightwing." He grumbled. "Okay boys, let's stop measuring our manhood, and get going!" Barbara said as she stepped in between them. "You're both giving me a headache."
The caped crusaders got into their vehicles and left. Joker and Penguin were on their own.