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Chapter 35: The Love That Binds Us
Still enclosed in darkness, my eyes snapped open. I gulped for air as if I had been swallowed by the sea and had finally reached its surface gasping for my lungs to be refilled. My whole body gave a jolt and panic struck me, "Where am I?" I asked the darkness.
"Shhhh...." a calm voice whispered through the emptiness in front of me, "It's okay Nessie, you are safe."
I breathed a heavy sigh of relief, "David," I said on the exhale of my breath, "its you." The memories flooded my mind from the night before leading me to my present position laying close to David within our casket.
His arm raised from my shoulder and he lifted the lid of our tomb allowing the soft glow of candle light to penetrate our fortress. As my vision adjusted and the room came into view, I felt an overwhelming sensation burst through me. The room around us was alive, nearly breathing under my gaze. I sat up staring around the room, moving my head from side to side in astonishment. David's arms lifted me to my feet, "Come young one, I know you are overwhelmed, but your family awaits."
I shook my head, not truly accepting the utter beauty around me and the amazing change in my point of view. Inanimate objects seemed to move. The flames danced upon their stages of wax casting a haunting glow upon the cellar walls who seemed to applaud and laugh at the entertainment before them. The ground itself seemed to shift under my weight. My head was spinning with the thunderous noise of millions of voices calling out in normal conversation around the world. So many languages, so many situations polluted the clarity of my mind. I couldn't focus. David took my arm and forced my gaze into his, "Listen to me Nessie," he said sternly. I fought the distractions, willing my mind to make them shut the hell up. His eyes assessed me, seeming satisfyed that he had my attention, "You will be able to hear and see and feel many things. It is important to be able to control them. It is difficult, but you must try to focus on the the here and now. All of your other powers will have their place, but right now, you need to just work on being able to turn then on and off." His eyes were serious and deep, he was fighting a million different things for my attention. "Nessie," his voice was sharp and commanding, "Focus, only hear what you want to hear. Listen to me, allow yourself to hear only me and then expand your radius from there."
I nodded and followed him silently up the stairs, closing my mind to endless stream of thoughts and voices attacking my brain. He began leading up to the kitchen. I allowed my mind to focus to include the thoughts and voices of my family. They had returned from their hunting trip and were buzzing about my new state of being and of coarse about the twins. A calmness overcame me as we ascended back into the light. The control seemed easier as we left the seclusion of the cellar.
"Alice," I said, half gasping and smiling. I moved forward to embrace her, but was shocked at her response.
"Wow," she said, her eyes blinking in disbelief. I could calculate her every move. I was tuned in with every muscle move in her face. Her exquisite features were positively luscious. If I allowed my focus to shift, I would have been able to count ever last one of her individual hairs. Her tiny lips parted and the word formed delicately, pulling from the vibrations of her throat like a stone being throne upon a still lake. "I saw a change, but... but this, this is incredible," she said in obvious shock. Her slender fingers reached out to graze the skin of my cheek. Her touch was cold, but felt like the soft petal of a blossoming flower, so alive and so new. I smiled, easily peering into her mind to witness the shocking sight before her. Through her eyes, my skin had become a slab of freshly sculpted alabaster from which two chocolaty colored eyes peered reflecting the light generated by the chandelier. My eyes sparkled as her skin sparkled under the rays of my now and forever forbidden sun. My skin pulsed with an unfamiliar tinge that did not belong to her species. Her fascination quickly consumed her fear. "Beautiful," she murmured.
I smiled lovingly back at her, "Alice, its still me."
She didn't seem overly convinced, her eyes darted to David who gave a respectful nod. "Her transformation has been an unbelievable success," he said with ease.
"I guess so," called Rosalie's voice from behind the others, "I mean look at her, she looks like a goddess."
I smiled at my aunt's kind remarks, "Thank you, Auntie Rose," I extended in her direction. Her beautiful face was glossed over with the unmistakable glint of jealousy, "Not as amazing as you, though." I wasn't lying. Through my new vision, Rose's beauty was paramount. Her golden ringlets hung in perfect symmetry with her soft and supple features. I gazed around the room taking in the beauty of my family who appeared to be more human than ever before. I guess my alienation from my mortal side brought to light the presence of their still human expressions and tendencies. I was astounded at how delicately close to mortal they all were, and consequently, how much further away I had become in my transformation and journey to the city. I took a ragged breath trying to ignore the obvious and push away my monstrous side.
"Well..." I said, trying to detract attention, "how was your trip?"
"Oh, my dear, it was just lovely," Esme's voice chimed from the table. "The views were incredible as always and we all managed to get our share of game." Her heart-shape face smiled with love and empathy. "And we are all so glad to come back to a granddaughter who is feeling so much better and her two amazing children who are coming right along." I peered deep into her soul, analyzing her kindness and virtue. It was truly unfathomable to find someone with such pure intentions. Her love for her family glowed like a shining orb that encased her very soul. I could not find one ounce of selfishness or ill will in the catacombs of her mind.
I smiled back at her, "Thanks Grandma, I'm so glad to see all of you again, too. I missed everyone. A lot has happened and I'm just glad to be here." I beamed at David.
"Yes," Carlisle interjected, "We are very lucky that our guest was here."
David nodded graciously to the kind words, "I'm only glad that Nessie had the strength to pull through... and that she has been very accepting of her new state." I could see him fighting back the guilt, shoving it deep down into his dark blood.
"Indeed," Carlise agreed, "Nessie, I have to say that you do look so much more...." he paused searching for the right word.
"Grown up?" I said, pulling the feeling from his thoughts.
"Yes, I suppose that is it, isn't it?" he said with a raise of his eyebrow. His eyes settled on me and I could see his calculating thoughts adding up my new features and forming them into equations of analysis. "Oh Nessie, Jake's upstairs waiting for you. We have all been taking turns with the twins, but they are ready to eat again and we though that you might want to do the honors?"
I grinned at my grandfather like I was a kid again and he had just told me we were going out to hunt, "Absolutely, thanks Grandpa." I smiled at my family and fluttered up the stairs to care for my children.
I flung open the door to find Jake leaning over the incubator, staring at our babies. He looked over his shoulder and immediately wrapped his gentle arms around me, "Hey babe, how did ya sleep?"
Acceptance, that was good, "Mmmm... good," I said. "I don't think I've ever felt so... well, so rested," I shrugged and we moved back over to the plastic that was guarding our precious offspring.
Their tiny bodies were more pink than before, losing some of their grayish tinge. I could see and hear the blood pumping rapidly through their miniature veins, fighting to build tissue and ready themselves for the outside world, "How are they?" I said quietly, not changing my focus.
"They're good, babe, real good. Your dad stopped in before him and Bella headed out to hunt, he said that we would probably be able to take them out of the incubators in two days. And Carlisle was really happy to see how much they grew while he was gone. He measured them and everything, look," he pulled out a little chart that was slid into the side compartment of the machinery. Carlisle's old style handwriting spelled out their increase in both weight and length as well as the diameters of their chests and heads.
I nodded in approval. Jake took my hand with a gentle squeeze, "He says they should be at normal birth weight within a week." His hand found its way away from mine and into the incubator. I watched in amazement as Tala's tiny hand enclosed around Jacob's enormous finger. My heart lifted in delight when I saw the unmistakable expression of love and joy rippling over Jake's face, "Amazing, aren't they?" he said, cocking his head to the side as he stared down at his daughter.
"Carlisle said they are ready to eat?" I said hopefully.
"Oh yeah!" he piped up enthusiastically, "Which one do you want?"
"Both!" I said, matching his excitement.
He smiled gently back at me, "Even though you are a full vampire, or whatever, I doubt you can handle both of these monsters at the same time."
My lips curled up at him in adoration, "Well okay, I guess I'll take Masen. But I want to hold Tala after that."
"Deal," he said, leaning into my shoulder.
"So," he began with an informative air overtaking him, "This is their second feeding outside of the incubators, they seem to do okay, but you have to watch them. Carlisle said that its not good for their lungs to strain too much." I nodded, giving him my serious face. "Here," he reached gingerly into the plastic case removing our son. The size of his hands was even more exaggerated as he supported the tiny head of our son. I cradled the helpless infant in my arms and tears instantly sprung from my eyes.
"So beautiful," I whispered, wiping the bloody droplets onto my shoulder.
"I know, right?" Jacob's deep voice echoed through my head. He extracted Tala and we sat silently next to one another with a precious gift of life in each of our arms.
I stared into the face of the infant before me. I could make out Jacob's facial structure, just a seed of it implanted in the tiny body curled against my chest. I gazed in amazement at my child. It was a fight to force myself to continue to breath in the sheer amazement of the scene before me. I couldn't really believe that Jake and I were sitting side by side holding our children. It all seemed like such a blur... How could we have possibly come so far, so fast? I felt like I was in a time warp, it seemed like it was just yesterday that I had found out about the Imprint. Damn, Maharet was right, mortal time is fleeting, and indescribably precious. A flicker of fear gripped me as I saw the seconds flying by, slipping into oblivion, never to be experienced again.
I brought in a deep, calming breath and trying to rid myself of the anxiety of the passing time. I turned my attention to Jake. His head was bent down and he softly cooed to the tiny bundle in his arms. The delight in his face brought more tears flooding down my cheeks. Fatherhood suited him so well. My very being swelled with pride. I was so proud of him, so proud to be the mother of two beautiful children, so grateful to be here witnessing it all-- more than witnessing, taking part. Jacob looked up into my tear stained face, "You really did it, Ness, these are our kids!"
Obviously Jake was just as overwhelmed with emotion as I was. I smiled back at him through my reddened vision, "I know, can you believe it?"
He shook his head trying to hide his tears. He fought them back, willing himself not to cry, "Thank you," he whispered, "Thank you for giving me the greatest joy I'll ever know."
I peered back into Masen's face watching, utterly captivated by the tiny cry that escaped his lips, "Oh!" Jake exclaimed, "He's crying! His lungs! That's a really great sign, here," he handed me a tiny bottle filled with formula. "Go ahead, Ness, he's crying for his mama to feed him." His smile melted my heart and I offered the nipple topped bottle to my son.
"There you go, there you go, Mama's here. Don't cry," I thought I would burst with joy. Masen took the nipple into his tiny mouth and began consuming the contents of the bottle. His eyes fluttered in what could only be pleasure and satisfaction. I couldn't help but stare, dumbfounded at the events occurring before my eyes. I still couldn't really believe it. I turned and flashed a heartfelt smile at Jake.
He was just lifting the bottle to Tala's lips as he looked over to me, "It's all gunna be okay, I just know it." We sat in silence, feeding our children. I sat patiently through Masen's fickleness with the bottle, burping him when he had finished. I never imagined that taking care of a baby would be so utterly satisfying. I felt like I had just single-handedly saved the world from certain doom. I had never felt so important in my life. Jake and I switched babies. I was anxious to stare intently into the face of my daughter like I had done with my son. Her features were smaller, much the same, but more ornate. She smacked her lips in satisfaction once again reducing my heart to a melted pile of mush. How could something so tiny be so damn amazing?
With some difficulty, struggling with inexperience and trying to subdue my unnatural strength, Jake and I managed to get their diapers changed. We gently laid them back in the incubators and watched as they squirmed and wriggled until they were comfortable. I let my head rest against Jake's chest, listening to the steady thump of his strong heart. I turned to face him and he pulled me in close, running his fingers through my hair. His touch was primal and raw, so different from David's. I felt the heat surging from his body. I ran my hands down his chest and stared longingly into the dark pools of his onyx eyes.
"Mmm...." he purred like a lynx. His eyes sparked, "Maybe Great Auntie Alice or Great Auntie Rose would like a turn?" he suggested with a wink.
I smiled and turned away from him. I willed my presence in the kitchen where the rest of my family was still engaged in rapid conversation. Apparently I appeared out of thin air giving everyone quite a jolt. "Geez, Ness, what the fuck?" Emmett's voice boomed as he threw his hand instinctively over his chest, "All of us humble vampires aren't quick enough for you anymore, how 'bout a little warning next time?"
I chuckled, "Sorry Uncle Em. I didn't think little ol' me, would scare big, bad ol' you," I teased.
"Yeah well," he said with wide eyes, "You were wrong, you and Mr. David scare the shit out me with your super duper fast movements and mind reading craziness." He waved his hands in the air for emphasis.
I laughed, "Well you better get used to it." A sly smile crept across my face. I willed myself just behind Emmett, seeming to disappear before his vampiric eyes, "Boo!" I shouted.
"Damn it, Nessie!" he roared as he nearly jumped out of his immortal skin.
"Haha," I laughed gleefully, "Gotcha, sucker! Pay back's a bitch!" He laughed back, but I could tell he was a little uneasy.
"So anyways," I said casually walking back into the middle of the room, "Who wants to watch the twins? Jake and I have some talking to do."
"Ooohhh, me me me!" Alice said nearly springing herself at me.
Rose rolled her eyes at Alice's childish display, "Come on Alice," she grabbed her pixie sister by the hand, "We can both go." She shot me an I know what you two are up to look and headed up the stairs.
"Our turn," she spat at Jake, "Nessie's waiting for you downstairs." I couldn't help but grin at her disgruntled tone. Jake's beautiful face appeared above the banister. He paused for a second. It was just long enough for me to freeze-frame the image of his silky hair draping over the sides of his chiseled face and his strong jaw line taking on the air of authority and ancient grace. He hastily descended the stairs, joining us in the kitchen. I cast a worried look back up at the door that was sheltering my children. Now that I had been so near them, even held them, I didn't know if I could leave them, even for a second.
Jake must have sensed my tension, "Come on, Ness, they'll be fine. They're in good hands, remember?" I nodded, for someone who wasn't psychic and couldn't read minds, Jacob sure had me down to a tee. I was still reluctant, but I glanced once more around the room, taking note of the strong and more than capable vampires lurking in every corner and decided that the twins would be safe... for a little while at least. I began to follow Jake out the back door when a delicate and delicious scent snared my senses. David.
He was coming down the stairs, his suit, perfectly pressed as usual and his smile handsome and charming, as usual. I smiled up at him. "Don't worry Nessie. Like Jacob said, they are in good hands." He flashed an encouraging smile at me.
"I know," I said returning his smile, but I knew that he understood the look behind the smile and he nodded in the affirmative-- I knew he would stay here and watch over the twins and my family in my absence. And I also had the strange sensation of his blessing being cast upon me and Jake as we made our exit into the temptation of the night.
The stars shone brightly above us, and for a moment, all of my fear of my new life, all of the nonsense near-death experiences and strange visions from a vampire far away didn't seem to exist. I felt free and happy with my hand tightly closed around Jake's. The beauty of the night held so much promise, so much hope and excitement. We ran hand in hand into the blackness before us, recklessly charging, full throttle into the night.