Chapter 35: Grief's Fury.
All Jaina could do was stand and stare as the mighty wall of golden flames rose high into the air through the nonexistent roof of the voxyn grashal, the molten yellow of the twisting tongues turning a vivid scarlet as they collided with the intensity of the setting sun, casting an eerie, fiery glow over the surrounding landscape. The darkening trunks of the trees bordering the smouldering thorn hedge illuminated in a sudden flash of amber light, the shadows cast from their overhanging branches dancing wildly over the hard earth with each sporadic flicker of fire.
The feeling inside Jaina's heart matched that of the dazzling display in front of her: each tiny crevasse in her petite frame alive with the red-hot fury of pain, loss, and revenge. This was her fault - Tahiri's. The little blonde girl who'd spent so much of her life being treated like an extension of the Solo family had betrayed them all, giving up Jacen's life to save her own.
And now he was dead, her twin brother's body lost somewhere in the blaze that had already consumed most of the grashal by the time she'd made it over the last hill. She'd heard the reverberating boom from the thermal detonators as she'd raced over the rugged ground; felt the short stab of pain that had clutched at her heart as Jacen's life was taken from him, and the overwhelming hollowness that had followed thereafter. Jaina had heard, as she'd thrown herself over the crest of the hill in desperation, the gut-wrenching scream that had escaped her lips, the strings of profanity that had pursued, and then the echoing sound of her own strangled cries as she sobbed, hysterically, into the dead of the evening.
She'd been too late to save him; that much was certain. There was no physical way she could have run any faster, or taken down Lomi Plo any quicker. Yet Jaina would not believe that Jacen had been destined to die here today. She knew, deep inside her twisted mind, now filled with anger and unrestrained aguish, that if she and Anakin hadn't stayed so long at the Flier, if they'd just left instead of listening to Tahiri's tales of treachery, then they would have arrived in time.
They would have been able to prevent Jacen's death.
Tahiri had ruined everything. She'd used them all: Jaina, Anakin, Tesar, Lowie, but especially Jacen, and now her twin was dead.
Because of her.
Because of Tahiri.
It was strange; how quickly one could turn on someone they once considered a friend. Only hours earlier, Jaina would have given her life to save her little brother's girlfriend, but not anymore. Now that she knew the truth of what the young Jedi had done, she'd no sooner risk her neck for the likes of Welk or Lomi Plo.
Lomi Plo…
For the first time since her brief, tumultuous encounter with the Dark Jedi on the outskirts of the strike team's current hideout, Jaina comprehended exactly what she'd done. She held up her now shaking hands in front of her face, gazing at them with widened, glazed eyes. These two hands, attached to her body, had been responsible for the death of someone very evil, but also, very human. She'd killed Lomi using power only a Dark Jedi could tap into, and even now, as she continued to stare at her long, pale fingers, Jaina could feel the pent-up energy pulsing through her flesh.
Jaina clenched her throbbing hands into tight fists, as if by doing so, she'd be able to prevent a similar attack from occurring. It was a futile effort, and one she still carried out, even if she were only humouring herself; hiding from the truth of the matter. The anger she'd felt after seeing her brother's fiery grave still swirled inside her, her rage towards Tahiri increasing every extra second she stood, rooted to the spot. Jaina knew that dwelling on such thoughts was destructive, but she couldn't help it. She wanted revenge; she needed revenge. Someone had to pay for what had happened today, so that Jacen's dead wasn't in vain.
Her mind made up, the distraught Jedi turned away from the burning remains of the grashal, ready to make the blonde traitor pay for what she'd done. Jaina had barely made it over the grassy hilltop when the dark mop of her younger brother's head came into view a few clicks away. Even from this distance, she could see that he had been crying quite dramatically. Long, bright tear stains covered his dirty face, the dying sunlight catching the last drops of glistening grief and illuminating them so that it almost looked like a form of camouflage – cream against brown.
No doubt he'd felt Jacen's passing just as strongly as she had.
Before he'd reached her position, Jaina had a brief, panic-stricken thought: what if somehow Anakin had felt her sickening anger and craving for vengeance through the same force bond? Tahiri was his girlfriend, his love, and even after everything the little witch had done, Jaina believed he'd still protect her from any danger that came her way… even if the danger came from his own sister. The very idea that Anakin might have an inkling as to her feelings on the matter worried her enormously. She'd already been stopped from one mission today, and she didn't know how she'd take it if she were stopped for a second time.
"Jaya…" he said hoarsely as he came to rest beside her, deliberately keeping his back turned away from the horrid scene of their brother's downfall for as long as possible. She acknowledged his arrival with a curt nod of her head, not really knowing what else she could do or say. They'd both lost a brother; a treasured family member, and nothing they could say or do would bring him back.
There was a gentle tugging on one balled fist, and then Anakin's hand slipped silently into hers, their clammy fingers lacing together as they had done so many times in their youth. It was almost automatic, they way they clung together, more for Anakin's reassurance than Jaina's.
For the longest time, the pair stood together, side by side, linked both through their invisible force tether, and the physical one at their hands. Neither one spoke, though Jaina knew that Anakin was still crying; she could feel his intermittent trembling travel from down his arm to their connected wrists, his clamped fingers twitching every now and then as his shoulders heaved from yet another wracking sob.
By this time, Jaina's tears had well and truly dried up. She no longer felt sadness for Jacen; in fact, the only thing she could really grasp right now was the numb fury burning inside, the feeling only slightly magnified from what she'd experienced while killing the Dark Jedi about to dispose of Ganner Rhysode. She knew Anakin was aware of at least part of what she was dwelling on: his grip on her hand had tightened behind comfort, and was actually starting to hurt. As she glanced down, she could see the tops of both of their knuckles turning a brutal white against the strain he was placing on their hold, and Jaina had to grab at her brother's hand with her free one in order to prize him away from her.
She flexed her crippled joints slowly as the blood flow returned to her aching fingers, scowling at the ground as Anakin softly told her, "You can't think like that, Jaya, Jacen wouldn't have wanted it."
"Jacen wouldn't have wanted to die for her, either!" she spat back, unable to contain the vicious retort that had slipped from her pursed lips. She regretted it as soon as the last word had fallen on her ears, but there was no taking it back, not now.
Anakin's bloodshot eyes opened as wide as 3PO's prosthetic ones, his quavering mouth making the same large 'O' shape. "You're blaming her for what happened?" he asked in quiet shock. "Jaina, this isn't Tahiri's fault."
"Then whose is it?" she challenged, folding her arms across her chest defensively. "Is it my fault that our brother died for her?"
"No," Anakin said sadly, shaking his head. "It's Jacen's fault, no one else's."
Jaina snorted at this response, twisting her body away from his to gaze back at the remnants of the voxyn lair, the final resting place of Jacen Solo. It was ludicrous to put the blame of his death solely on Jacen's shoulders; crazy to think that Tahiri was not at fault here, when she'd clearly stalled them both long enough so that any attempt at a rescue would be out of the question. The young girl had known for the longest time what their sibling had been planning, yet she'd kept it secret, and had only divulged the extent of their treachery when confronted for her lies. Even then, when both Anakin and she had known what Tahiri had done, the blonde had drawn out the tale until it was too late.
Until she knew for sure that Jacen would perish.
Anakin must have been reading her thoughts again, because he put an arm around her shoulders uncertainly, pulling her close enough so that her head rested on his broad chest. "Jacen knew what he was doing," he whispered, "And he didn't die to save Tahiri, he…"
His voice broke off sharply then, and an agonized sound met her ears. Jaina drew out of his embrace, whipping around so that her face was now inches from his. The first thing she noticed was the painful scrunching of his brow, his eyes creased to almost nonexistent slits, and his mouth contorted in some sort of cruel smirk. She'd never seen her little brother cry like this in all her life; never seen him so distressed in all his seventeen years of existence.
Jaina stretched out a hand and patted his back soothingly, the loving gesture seeming to bring back his resolve. Clearing his throat, he finished the sentence from before, somewhat meekly. "H-he died to save… me."
"Oh, I get it!" Jaina scoffed after a few seconds of strained silence. "You're so blind to what your girlfriend's done that you actually believed what she told you!"
Anakin's choking sobs stopped abruptly, and he stared at her, his mouth tight-lipped, and his gaze a mixture of disbelief and hurt. The older Jedi waited for the angry tirade she knew was coming, standing still with her arms still folded, ready to fire back with a backlash of her own when he was done.
No such thing came.
Her little brother kept on looking as she fidgeted under his scrutiny, the hard blue-eyed gaze unnerving as it continued to stay locked onto her chocolate equivalent. Just when Jaina thought she couldn't handle the quiet any more, Anakin spoke.
"No Jaya," he pleaded, his gaze still not wavering. "Don't do this… please… not now."
At first, she had no idea what he was talking about, but then she felt his delicate mental probing, right on the edges of her sanity, and knew that he feared she'd fallen. Jaina's initial instinct was to bite back with something cutting and derogatory; however, she was saved from any kind of response by a piercing sound coming from the grashal.
It was shrill and very loud, and both Solo children were forced to cover their ears with open palms to avoid having their eardrums burst. Directly following the penetrating noise was a deafening thud, as if a large chunk of Yorik Coral inside the enclosure had succumbed to the intense heat of the fire and tumbled to the smoldering floor.
Unfortunately for Anakin and Jaina, this echoing distraction was enough to drown out the distant Yuuzhan Vong cry trumpeting behind them. Had they heard it at that time, they may have been able to make it back to the Flier before being swamped by a horde of the angry aliens.
After a long moment of tense silence, the pair of Solos - who were once again joined at the hands and now staring over the crest at the fiery grave of their brother – finally noticed the sudden thunder of a thousand bare feet rumbling across the dry earth.
"Kriff!" Anakin swore, tugging at the comm. hanging from his utility belt and frantically flicking it on. "Come on, come on, pick up!" He cried impatiently, bouncing backwards and forwards from foot to foot as the roar of Yuuzhan Vong warriors grew louder with each second.
"What are you doing, we have to run!" Jaina screamed, her voice barely audible over the raucous din traveling over the harsh landscape.
"There's no time!" he grunted back, his head bent over the comm. as he struggled to obtain the right frequency. "We have to warn the others that the Yuuzhan Vong are close, and tell them to get out of here."
"What about us?" she questioned, not really sure if she wanted to hear the answer or not.
"It's too late for us."
The words echoed around Jaina's mind as she struggled to come to terms with what they actually meant. Too late. It's too late.
For us.
This was it; it was all over for them. She could vaguely make out Anakin's frenetic voice in the background, screaming into the comm. at one of the strike team members and telling them to leave, but the throbbing sound of her heart pounding in her ears drowned out pretty much everything else. Life around where she was standing moved by at a slow crawl; her brother's fingers danced over the controls on his communicator almost lethargically, and even the rise and fall of the leaves on the nearby trees was painfully sluggish.
Soon, Jaina could hear no sound at all: nothing, except the beating of her heart. It occurred to her then that these precious seconds were perhaps the last of her life, and in a few moments, her heart would beat for the very last time. She gripped tighter on Anakin's hand, pulling him closer to her as his mouth opened and closed, relaying a message to the others that she couldn't hear.
A thousand living sticks appeared at the edges of her vision, the tops of the alien weapons coming in to focus quickly despite her failing senses. They had very little time left, and if they were going to make one last stand against the enemy, now was the time.
Tugging on the torn jumpsuit fabric in her grasp, Jaina alerted her little brother to the fast-approaching threat, and together, the pair began to back away, their feet moving in synch as they traveled closer to the grashal. A large ember flew out of the inferno behind them, sizzling past the brunette's ear and landing on the ground beneath her. The shock of the dazzling light was enough to shake her out of her trance, her senses flooded with overwhelming sounds and smells.
She could hear Anakin now, shouting his instructions to what sounded like Tesar on the other end, the Barabel refusing to give in to his leader so easily. "-no time left, you have to go now!" he was saying in frustration, his whole body quivering with the strength it took to give such an order in the first place.
"Thiz one will not do such a thing, little brother," the alien hissed back, defiance in his snaky tone. "Not after losing Jacen."
"Put Ganner on!" Anakin demanded, his growing irritation at the situation turning quickly to anger. "Put him on now!"
There was a short burst of deafening static from Tesar's comm, and then Ganner's pained voice cut into the silence, his throaty tone no doubt a reaction to the grief they were all feeling being forced to leave two of their own behind. "I hear what you're saying, Anakin," he said.
"I knew I could count on you, Ganner. Promise me you'll take care of them all?"
"I promise. We'll come back for you, you know. "
Anakin nodded and swallowed thickly, the lump of emotion traveling down his throat and into the pit of his stomach, a place Jaina knew from past experience was much easier to manage pain than anywhere else. On impulse, she leant her own face towards the small device in her brother's hand and whispered something she wasn't even sure Ganner would be able to hear.
"Tell mum and dad we're sorry."
Jaina was surprised by how calmly she was able to make such a request, but for her brother, those words were his breaking, and a torrent of pent up emotion consumed him, his face fast becoming a river of flowing tears. "T-t-tell, t-tell Tahiri… t-tell h-her…" But that was as far as Anakin was able to get, because at that very moment, the mass of Yuuzhan Vong warriors had broken over the hill, their snarling, mutilated faces all trained on them, matching smiles of triumph plastered on every one.
It was time now to make their final stand as Jedi.
Two identical snap-hisses reverberated across the open plain, and the ground at their feet was bathed in a beautiful combination of azure and violet light. If the sight of such beauty didn't spell the end of their lives, Jaina would have stopped to admire it.
"I love you, Jaina."
Her brother's statement was so clear and concise that you wouldn't have known he'd been crying so violently only seconds before. She flashed him a small grin in return, one that always reminded her so very much of her father whenever she bestowed it upon someone. Anakin must have thought the same thing, as he smiled back, taking her free hand in his for what was probably the last time, and clutching it like he was never letting go.
And then they turned together, in complete unison, facing their enemies once more. With their lightsabers poised above their heads, and their bodies glowing white gold with the strength of the force flowing through them, Anakin and Jaina charged into the fray.
The last thing the tiny dot disappearing in the atmosphere would have seen was the flurry of blue and purple amongst a sea of black, illuminated by a brilliant gleam of pure white.
And then they were gone.
~fin~