Aaalright let's see if I can get a bit better at updating, shall we?

To those who started following and begged me to update.. you have no idea what you got yourself into! I'm gonna make you sit and wait and wait for months! Just ask the veterans, they've waited years for me to finish this story! ...kidding, well not really.. I'm terrible at updating, but I make up for it with my weird humor and adorable sparkling personality *huge grin*

Anywho, thanks to those who faved and followed and reviewed and everything!

And to those who totally hate Spencer now... I did this because no one is perfect, everyone has flaws, and Spencer is a flawed person.. And sometimes people do shit without really having the answer as to why they did them. and blabla bla bla I'm just gonna let you read the story and then you can have a mental breakdown if you want to ^^ Enjoy!

Oh and if you find any grammatical errors or shit.. ignore them, I haven't bothered to proof read.. as usual ^^

Disclaimer: I do not own Spashley or South of Nowhere, but Sam is my imaginary friend's best friend.. They do everything together and I'm the third wheel... oh and I'm kind of weird ^^

Why Aaron? Why Aaron? Shiny McTeethy?

After a couple of hours of crying Spencer had spent the rest of the evening reassuring me that nothing happened between them the other day. He had just helped her study and then made her realize she needed to let her feelings out.

That's my job, Aaron!

He might have "supposedly" given us his blessing, but I still didn't trust him. And I still didn't get why Spencer was fine with talking to him of all people. If she didn't want to talk to me, that was fine. She could have talked to Sam or Hayley or Aiden or, heck, even Madison! But Aaron? Has she completely forgotten what that royal shit did to her? '

'Nothing happened,' Spencer reassured me for the millionth time. She had moved to the loveseat to put some space between us.

'That's not what I'm thinking about,' I muttered. 'I just… I still don't get why you talked to Aaron about this,'

'Ash… I honestly don't know why… I just couldn't come to you about this,'

'Yeah I got that,' I answered. 'And even though I think that's kind of a dumb excuse not to talk to your girlfriend, who's been through this before,' Spencer flinched and I quickly stopped myself from raising my voice. I closed my eyes and inhaled sharply before I continued. '…You could've talked to someone else. You didn't have to let your heart out to Aaron... I mean, have you forgotten what he did to you? You moved because of him!' I reminded her.

Spencer looked at me defeated, like she didn't really have an answer. And I guess she didn't… that just made it all worse. 'So what if maybe I wanted a fresh start?' she asked timidly. 'He came and offered his support at the funeral and I thought it would be nice to have him back as a friend,'

I turned my gaze away from her. 'When did you become so naïve,' I muttered. Spencer shot me a look. 'What is that supposed to mean?' I closed my eyes and shook my head lightly before returning my gaze on the blonde opposite me.

'It took me months before you would trust me with anything more than your history notes! I had to actually fight for you, I had to change who I was for you! And you know I'll always love you for that, but how in the world can you so easily throw Aaron a second bone the minute he's in town?'

'He's been here for months now,' Spencer pointed out, trying to avoid the subject.

'Not the point, Spence,' I said between gritted teeth. 'The point is you were afraid of letting me come close to you because you were already in love with me… I think it's the other way around with Aaron. You desperately hope he's changed… because you still have feelings for him… Don't you?'

'That' is not true, Ash! How can you even think such a thing?'

'Because you never really had a real closure with him! Let's not forget that you were in love with the guy!' I got up from my seat and started phasing around the living room.

'He broke my heart,' Spencer replied.

'Yes, and now he's back, and he wants to be a "supportive friend",' I said, using my fingers to form the air quote gesture when saying the last part.

Spencer rolled her eyes.

I looked at her pleadingly. 'Spencer… Please be honest,' she reluctantly met my gaze. 'Does Aaron still have feelings for you,' I asked.

Spencer looked down at her feet and rubbed her hands.

'I don't know,' she said and met my gaze again. I nodded and exhaled deeply.

'Do you still have feelings for Aaron?' Spencer didn't break eye contact but I could see she was having trouble keeping in a fresh new set of tears. 'I don't know,' she finally whispered.

I shut my eyes close and swallowed hard. 'I think we should take a break,' I whispered.

I was afraid of this.

The second I realized who Aaron was and that he was here in LA, I was afraid of this happening.

Spencer developed feelings for me because I reminded her of Aaron. She didn't trust me because I reminded her of Aaron. I changed because I didn't want to hurt her the way he did.

When I realized how much I loved her, I was terrified of screwing it up, terrified of becoming like him. All this time I thought I was going to be the one to put a wrench in our relationship. Who would have ever thought it was going to be Spencer?

'Ash, please…' the blonde beauty pleaded. 'We can work this out, we can work through it,' she tried to reason. She walked up to me and cupped my face. 'I love you so much,' her voice broke and kissed me deeply. I could hear it in her voice that she was telling the truth. I could tell it from her kiss. But it wasn't enough.

I broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. 'It's not enough, Spence,' I whispered and took her hands in mine. 'I respected your wishes and gave you space when you needed it. Now I'm going to need the same from you,' Spencer looked at me pleadingly before she looked back down at her feet and gave a defeated nod.

The house was completely silent. Neither one of us said a word.

Suddenly I heard the door open and close, followed by my mother announcing she was hope.

'Oh, hi Spencer! It's good to see you again, how are you?' Christina asked politely as she headed for the kitchen. She obviously hadn't seen the tears in Spencer's eyes. 'I'm doing ok, Mrs. Davies,' Spencer replied while giving a forced smile. 'That's good, honey. Are staying for dinner?' Christina put her purse on the kitchen island and looked up at us with a loving smile. Spencer wiped away a tear quickly. 'Actually, I really have to go. It was nice seeing you, Mrs. Davies,' Spencer quickly grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

I didn't move. I could hear the door close shut. 'Is something wrong?' my mom asked concerned, and that's when I could no longer hold it in. I let go of my tears and broke down on the couch. I could feel my mom wrapping her arms safely around me, telling me everything would be ok.

The next day at school was awful. Even Mr. Ments gave me a confused look when I arrived late for his class and didn't do my usual grand entrance. Instead I kept my head low, slumped down in my seat and wordlessly reached for my notebook. 'Uhm… Nice of you to join us, miss Davies,' he said almost in a question. I just nodded at him as I opened up to page 394 and pretended to read.

When I got home my mom comforted me for a couple of hours before she had to leave for work. She promised me she'd be home a little earlier and that she'd try and get some ice cream on the way home. Once she left I called Sam. My trusty sidekick dropped everything and was by my side within 10 minutes. She even brought cookies. Bless her. At first, when I told her everything, she wanted to head straight to Spencer's house and knock some sense into her.

It took me some time to convince her to calm down. Although, I could understand where the anger was coming from. But I wasn't mad at Spencer. I was disappointed. And hurt.

Aaron on the other hand… oh he was dead. I seriously wanted to knock his teeth in, and Sam was begging to be by my side when I did.

Then it got a bit more serious, and Sam assured me that things would get better. Sadly, I had some serious trouble believing her.

More than anything, I just wanted to run back to Spencer, forgive her, kiss her and be happy with her. I wanted to skip all the drama and go straight to our happy place. But I guess life really isn't that easy. You can't just skip it.

Sure, it wasn't like she had actually cheated on me. But she had ruined our trust. She had pushed me away, using her father as an excuse, and instead let someone else in.

It wasn't fair. Why did Aaron get it so easy? Why was she so quick to forget everything he had done to her? Why do I even have to compete with him? That jackass used her vulnerability to his advantage. I knew he let go way too easily that day after the game.

Next day after class I headed straight for the gym, and ended up bumping into none other than Madison on the way. 'Watch where you're going, Queer Eye!' she spat out as she picked up her pompoms. Once retrieving her pompoms she looked me in the eyes and I swear, it looked like she jumped tree feet back. 'Whoa, what's up with you? You look like you're gonna kill someone,'

'You know where the assistant coach is?' I asked.

'What's it to you? He's not really your type,' Madison commented dryly.

'Just tell me where he is, Madison!'

'Geez, calm down! Last I saw him he was packing up his stuff, so he's probably on his way to the parking lot by now,'

'Thanks,' I muttered as I walked past her and headed for the parking lot. I could hear Madison yell "freak" after me. Never change, Madison.

I searched around the parking lot for the young coach and, sure enough, there he was. About 50 feet away, about to get in his car. 'Hey jerk!' I called after him. He looked up and gave his usual smug smile. 'Aaaah if it isn't Ellen,'

'Cut the act, will you?' I said bitterly once I reached him. 'Whoa, woke up on the wrong side or something?' he asked. I clenched my fist. 'I know what you're up to, Aaron. I want it to stop. You stay away from Spencer,'

'Whoa, calm down Ashley,' Aaron said as his smug smile faded. I took another step towards him. 'Spencer's already been through a lot of shit, she doesn't need you making it worse,' I hissed at him, his face mere inches from mine. 'Who said I was making it worse? All I've done is supporting her,' he pointed out. 'I'm not going to say it again. Stay away from her, or I swear I will break your face,'

His smile returned. 'Miss Davies, let me remind you that I'm the assistant coach, and threatening a member of the faculty can lead to consequences, might even ruin your chances of graduating…'

I was so tempted to hit him right then and there. But he was right. He had more power than me. Even though he was just an assistant couch, his word to the principle would mean more than mine. Especially considering I already had a slightly bleak track record.

'You fucked up her life and all you're doing now is cause more shit! If you really care about her as you claim you do, you leave her alone,'

'I'll back off if Spencer tells me to, so until she does… I'm not going anywhere,' the douchbag whispered and walked off.

Gods, I hate him…

'I can't believe that jackass had the nerve to threaten you like that,' Sam exclaimed as she phased around her room. We were supposed to be studying for our last exam but obviously that didn't happen.

'He's right though, I can't really do anything about it. At least not while I'm still in high school,' I muttered as I wrote down some notes.

'Soooo you're saying we can hire a hitman during our graduation party?' Sam asked hopeful.

'As great as that would be, I don't really wanna sink that low,' I answered abstinently as I tried to focus on my studies.

'Said the girl who almost gave her coach a black eye,' Sam muttered dryly.

'Oi! Only almost! Don't worry, I'll give him a black eye after graduation,'

'So what are you gonna do with Spencer?' Sam asked as she put away her book.

'I don't really know, Sammy…' I answered honestly. 'I know I love her and that I don't want to lose her,' I looked up at Sam who was looking concerned. 'I just need a little space to think about this… and obviously so does she,'

'Honey, you guys are gonna get through it. I mean, you're Spashley!' Sam exclaimed. 'But if she hurts you one more time I swear she'll regret it,'

I smiled at my best friend's attempt to make me feel better. 'I love you, Sam,' I said and gave the girl a hug.

So... You're all allowed to kill me and all but then I'll never get to finish this fic... or you know... life a lovely, middleclass life until I die at the age of 39 in a car crash... Because I never learned how to drive... ehm... I love you all! *hides*

R/R makes me smile =)