Laura glanced up from the sink as Boomer entered the kitchen, carrying a tray. "How's she doing?"
"She went back to sleep." Carefully setting the tray down on the counter, she handed the empty bowl and mug to Laura. "I think it was the medicine Doc Cottle gave her."
"Her body needs time." Laura washed the dishes and set them in the drying rack. "Oh, the tray goes in the cupboard next to the stove." As Boomer opened the door and slid it in, she continued. "If something happens in the night, come upstairs and get up."
"I just feel bad…" She sighed and picked up a towel, absently starting to dry the dishes Laura had washed. "I mean, you've done so much for us already, and here we are, you're supposed to have some time to yourselves…"
"Trust me Boomer," with a soft giggle, Laura wiped down the now empty sinks, "we'll find time for ourselves. I'm…we're just glad that you trusted us enough to come here, and to not wait until it got worse."
"I just…" Boomer handed Laura the dishes as she dried them, "I knew how to handle everything I knew, but now, I mean, it should be the same, but it's not, because I'm not sure if it's me, or not. I thought I was me, but then did some things…but Sharon didn't…and it wasn't me, and the times since then…" With a sigh, she turned and faced Laura. "Am I making any sense?"
"Yes." Finished with the last of the dishes Boomer had handed her, Laura turned to face her. "This, who you are here, and who Natalie is here, are the last of who you will ever be. There won't be any more learning curves, or chances to make things right, or relying on the others for direction. What and who you are here, is up to just you. Based on who you've been."
"Something like that." She nodded slowly.
"We're all dealing with what, and who we've found here. And dealing with the changes in each other since we saw each other last…who we became since we'd known each other." Laura reached out and absently touched Boomer's cheek. "It took me a long time to trust Sharon. To the point that I did."
"She didn't trust you either." Boomer admitted softly, "you were more than any of us ever expected. You weren't…we…they didn't know how to handle you. It was confusing. You never did what we expected…you weren't even supposed to…"
"Survive?" Laura nodded toward the table and led Boomer across the kitchen so they could sit. "No one did. And ironically, Sharon saved my life."
"You wanted to kill the baby." Boomer whispered. "We thought you had. For the longest time."
Laura let her eyes slide toward the window, staring off into the night. "My sisters were killed by a drunk driver the night of Sandra's baby shower. My father was driving, he was killed as well. I never knew my niece…not until I arrived here. I was a teacher, I was surrounded by children every day, yet there were none in my family. Every time I heard a child…saw a child…" her voice trailed off. "I still wanted to work with them and for them. No one should ever lose a child, whether it's their own, or a family member or friend." She turned to look at Boomer. "No. I would never have killed a child. But no one who knew that was still alive. As far as I knew. And I no longer had the luxury of what I wanted. Sharon's child…at that time, Sharon was just someone, something…I didn't know what to do with it, or the child. I had thousands of people to worry about, to keep alive. And it was all in the balance because of one unborn child. If I would do anything to save a child…what would the Cylon race do to recover one."
Absently, she reached up and began to wind a strand of hair around her finger. "Bill…all he saw was you, or who you'd been before, in Sharon's face. He gave his trust. I didn't have that luxury, and it was one of many things that was between us for some time. The needs of the many, the needs of the one…was the life of one child worth the entire civilization? I knew, based on what I'd seen…heard…" she shuddered, "felt….that I knew the Cylons would never stop looking for her. I told them to kill her…I wanted to protect…but it wouldn't have mattered after all." She sighed. "And then…she was part of me as well."
"You told everyone she died." Boomer stated softly as Laura remained silent. "Why?"
"The same reason. If everyone believed she was dead…the Cylons wouldn't try to get her back, we were having enough trouble without that added incentive," Laura looked back into the darkness outside the window. "And the Fleet…those who thought that I was right, they'd be satisfied, and those that thought I was a murderer…well, I was a cold hearted bitch in their eyes, and hopefully they'd start to understand that I had to…would always put the Fleet above whatever I'd want. That I wasn't just a schoolteacher, turned Secretary of Education, who became President then dying prophet. That I had become who they needed me to be. And to prove to myself that I had become who they needed me to be."
"But you didn't kill her." Boomer leaned forward slightly. "You protected her. All the way."
"Yes." She turned and smiled sadly. "All the way. She was a beautiful baby. She had a play area in the school tent on New Caprica, we all doted on her. Sometimes, when I got lonely…or didn't know if I could make it another minute, day, or hour, I'd go look at her, or hold her, and it wouldn't be so lonely. Maya didn't know…she thought that when I needed someone to help her teach that Tori had reminded me that she'd been a teacher's assistant. Which was true, but I also wanted to keep an eye on both of them. And who would even suspect that I would ever want or allow that particular child near me."
"I didn't know what to do with her at first…she was just something that John wanted." Boomer admitted, "but when he wanted…he didn't care…it was all about him. Even when I was in a cell, there was, I don't know…yes, people hated me, but they still didn't treat me as an object. A machine maybe, but not an object. And I saw how they treated Sharon…and the others." Reaching out hesitantly, she touched Laura's arm. "I'm sorry. For New Caprica."
Laura gazed at her for a long moment and nodded slowly. "Thank you."
"You really had no idea what you did to us, you know?" Boomer shook her head. "There?"
"I survived." She stated softly, both of them unaware that Bill was standing in the shadows of the hall leading to the kitchen. He'd come back downstairs after finally starting the fire in the bedroom fireplace and wondered what was taking Laura so long. He hadn't expected to find the two of them in a deep discussion.
"You did more than that." Boomer took a breath. "You…we knew that although Gaius was the President, the people still looked to you. Maybe not officially, but they did. So, although John wanted to, he couldn't kill you. It would have made you a martyr, a focal point for them to rally around. But, he could…"
"Have me in detention." Laura finished for her, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms in front of her as she shuddered slightly. "For anything and everything."
"He thought that…well, Ellen said that you lived for the school…so he thought that he could use the children against you. Caprica actually talked him out of it, because it wouldn't have just been you, there would have been the parents…so, he decided to do to you what he did to the others, take you in randomly. Just…" she took a breath, "more frequently, and for longer times than the others. Doral thought that if you could hear the others, you'd break…I tried to tell them…I didn't want them to…
"You were the one who…" Laura blinked at her, a vague memory of cool hands quickly running a damp cloth along her body, trying to wash the dirt and blood off her cuts…some sort of cream being rubbed onto her back before the light steps ran away, the door shutting almost soundlessly as she found a cup of weak tea next to her hand as she rose to consciousness.
"You frustrated them. He controlled Ellen," she frowned, "which is all a bit confusing still, but you, he hated you. So did Doral…Leoben, well…he…"
"He was different at the end as well as you were." Laura offered, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah." Boomer braced her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. "You though, you took everything they did to you, and then went back out, head high. They couldn't catch you doing anything that the others weren't. Ellen couldn't link you…"
"We kept it as low key as possible." Laura admitted. "And, I did what I could, as did others. I'd also already faced death, and survived. And I knew that Bill would be back, it was just a matter of time, and surviving it. That got me through the nights there. And the days. When I could tell the passing of time. Most of the time, it was just the cold and the pain." She gazed levelly at Boomer. "It made it real."
"I remembered. Later." She took a deep breath. "I didn't know what it was like to have that survival. Without being able to resurrect. It was enough to be brave and sacrifice or fight, knowing I could download, when I knew, but to have what you did, and what some of the others did, without that. Knowing that you had something to believe in…I wanted to figure it out."
"And you did." Laura nodded, "or you wouldn't be here now."
"I guess not." She shrugged one shoulder. "All I know is that I didn't want it anymore, I wanted to believe, and to be believed in…and the only one that had ever really done that was the Chief, and the Admiral…and when John and Simon wanted to treat Hera like some experiment, a specimen, and you, who were supposed to have been the one who wanted her dead, had protected her, cherished her…I couldn't let them, in a way, she's part of me as well."
"And she's part of me." Reaching out, Laura brushed a strand of hair out of Boomer's face. "So, in a way, so are you."
"I guess." A smile touched her lips.
"Boomer, people change, that's part of being who and what we are. In some way, shape, or form, you have as well. Natalie too. That could be why and how you two have ended up here." Laura smiled. "I can tell you from personal experience, that I am a completely different person that I would have been if I had died in the initial attacks. Or if I had died even on New Caprica. We're all changing, evolving…and the learning to trust, the growing, it changes all of us. It's what has changed you two. And maybe…just maybe that's what's made the difference, so far."
"I suppose so." She admitted softly, then stifled a yawn, her eyes widening in surprise. "Sorry."
"Don't be." Laura stood. "You're tired, I'll let you get to bed. Remember, come up and get us if she gets worse in the night. You're welcome to anything in the kitchen if you get hungry or thirsty again, we still have plenty of leftovers, even after all we ate at dinner."
"I noticed." Boomer glanced at the cooler unit.
"And you know where all the books are if you want to borrow one." Laura led Boomer out of the kitchen, absently turning the lights out as she did.
"I already did, earlier, while Natalie was napping." She admitted.
"Good." Laura smiled at her and lifted her head. "Say goodnight, Bill, I know you're up there."
"Caught." Descending from the stairs he'd been trying to climb silently, he stopped halfway up the steps and smiled at them. "Good night, Boomer."
"Night sir." With a final smile, she turned and crossed the living room to the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind her as Laura turned to face Bill.
"How much did you hear?" She tilted her head and gazed up at him.
"Enough to know that you didn't tell me everything about New Caprica." He lifted an eyebrow. "But enough to confirm what I suspected."
"I told you I was taken in." Rounding the newel post, she stepped up to face him.
"You did." He reached out and traced her cheek with one finger. "And we'll talk about it later. For now, I have the fireplace going, and…"
"That's enough." With a giggle, she ducked past him and ran up the stairs.
By the time he was closing the bedroom door firmly behind him, she was already tossing a thick comforter and pillows onto the floor in front of the fireplace. "What are you doing? Tired of the new bed already?"
"I want to make love in front of the fire," she paused and looked over her shoulder at him. "All right?"
"No complaints here." Bill grinned at her. "Is this your method for roughing it?"
"For now." Laura watched him approach her before reaching out and tugging his shirt out of his slacks. "You're overdressed."
"You have any red on?" As she pulled the shirt over his head, Bill grinned and caught her waist in his hands.
"Not now." Dropping his shirt to the side, Laura raised up on her toes and kissed him, her fingers running through his hair as she pressed up against him. "I love you."
"Laura?" A bit surprised at her sudden intensity, he lifted his head to gaze into her eyes.
"If I'd ended up here at almost any other time, I wouldn't be here with you." A tear trickled out of one eye and ran down her cheek. "It would have been horrible, because I wouldn't know what I could have had…you are such a part of who I am…who I've become…I hadn't really ever thought about it, just accepted…and what if we hadn't…if one of us had died sooner…without…" she shook her head, the words stuck in her throat.
"Laura…" His arms wrapped around her protectively, he slid to the floor, easing her onto his lap as she curled into him. "Laura, it wouldn't have happened. You've said it yourself. We were destined to be here together. Look at how many odds the two of us defied to be together before….the military Commander and the Secretary of Education, one believing in traditions and security, the other wanting the latest in educational opportunities and advancements….the Atheist and the Prophet…you showed me how to believe again, and hopefully I showed you that you didn't have to completely rely on the scrolls. We both should have died within months of meeting each other, and yet we didn't. We fought through those who believed we shouldn't be together, to be who we needed the other to be. We fought against each other as we tried to convince the other they'd be better off without us. And through it all, we still kept finding the other was our other half, our counterbalance." He kissed the side of her head as she nestled into him, his hand sliding to unfasten the shirt she wore. "You've said it yourself. We were part of each others destiny. We wouldn't have been here with anyone else. In your heart, you know that." She nodded slightly under his chin. "Good." Shifting, he eased her onto her back, the blouse falling open. "Trust me?"
"Always." Laura whispered, a catch in her voice as she gazed up at him, tears in her eyes.
"All right then. Just close your eyes…" he waited a moment before bending over her again. "And just let me…"
Sometime later, Laura lay sprawled on her stomach, gazing at the fire lazily as Bill traced his fingers absently along her back. "You all right?" He pressed his lips to her back, his tongue tracing a line of sweat that trickled down her heated skin.
Laura answered by slowly pushing herself up on her arms so she gazed down at him, her tangled hair falling across her face and shoulders. Tilting her head, she smiled slowly and bent her head to catch his mouth in a languid kiss, her lips parting under his. Resettling herself against him, she waited until he'd pulled a blanket over them, one of his arms serving as a pillow under her arm as they gazed into the flames.
When they'd remained silent for several more minutes, exchanging light caresses under the blanket, she sighted softly. "Bill?"
"Hmm?" He'd known she wanted to say something, but hadn't been able to figure out what it was, so had decided to just wait.
"I'll tell you someday. About New Caprica." Laura closed her eyes as he tightened his grip on her waist. "More than I have. I just…not now, not here."
"I know you will." He kissed the top of her head. "When you're ready."
"Thank you." With another soft sigh, she relaxed against him, sliding into sleep as he watched the light from the flames playing across her hair and her bare shoulder, its soft play hypnotizing him into following her into the darkness.