Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story are those in E L James's Fifty Shades Trilogy, therefore they remain her property. The plot and themes in this story are those of the author. The author is in no way affiliated with James. No copyright infringement intended.

Apologies for the delay! Technology was not on my side yesterday! Another chapter on its way soon!

A lot of speculation over Mrs Anderson! All will be revealed in due course. First things first, Christian and Ana need to talk!

Much love to you all and keep them reviews coming! :) x

"Lets go find Mommy. She's hiding here somewhere."

I lie back in the long grass, shielding myself, listening to the squealing and giggling from across the field. The sun beats down on me, my skin hot to touch.

"Can you see Mommy?"

I hear another high-pitched squeal and a stampede of feet, running towards me.

"Mommy!"

"There's my baby boy!" I clasp my arms around him, clinging him to my chest and breathing in his delicious smell. His baby smell. His perfect copper hair shining the light, forming a halo above his angelic face. "Where's Daddy?"

"Daddy!" He wriggles in my arms, pointing to the right of us. "Daddy!" He screams, seeing him in the distance.

I watch as he continues to scream for him, but sit there in horror as he walks away. Walking away from us both, towards a black car and climbing into the passenger seat in the front, leaning over to the driver and then eclipsing into the distance.

"Daddy!"

I bolt upright, waking with a start and throwing away the cover pooled around my chest, my legs exposed and cool. I glance around the room, taking in my dark surroundings and the silence disrupted only by my heavy breathing. Twisting, I look over to the bedside table, fumbling for the alarm clock. 04:56AM.

I've tossed and turned all night, clock watching and trying to force myself to sleep with no prevail. Each time I woke from a brief state of unconsciousness my thoughts jumped straight to Christian. Is he okay? Is he sleeping? Or is he awake and pacing the floors? At one point I was convinced I was being watched, feeling eyes burning into the back of my head as I lay with my body away from the door, but when I turned I was alone - everything the same as when he left.

Unable to lie there any longer I climb out of bed, adjusting my dressing gown and heading to the bathroom. Switching the light on I rub my eyes, the bright white lights above me stinging them. I stand in front of the basin, splashing cold water over my face and washing away the light sweat from my confusing dreams - the same dream on loop. Every time I fell it was all I saw. Every detail the same.

Staring back at me in the large mirror looming in front of me is a lost girl. The same long, brown hair falling around my shoulders; the same blue eyes too large for my face. Everything's the same on the outside, but on the inside I'm falling apart. I need to know, for my own insanity, but the other side of my brain is yelling at me to stop, ignore everything and carry on as if nothing as happened - to trust him. Can I trust him?

I scoop my hair up into a hair tie, pulling it out of my face, walking back into my bedroom. Our bedroom. Searching through our closet I try to pick something to change into, something comfortable - sweats being the clear choice. Taking out a pair, I pull out one of Christian's hooded sweatshirts, one that I've seen him wear for working out in. Pulling it down around me, I roll up the sleeves to my elbows and adjust the swell of material around my middle. It masks my bump perfectly, making it invisible to everyone until I pull it back, clinging it against my stomach. If only it could mask everything else.

Pacing the bedroom, finding things to do, I open the curtains. It's still dark outside, but the light is emerging slowly over the horizon. Another hour or so and the new day will begin properly. I've made the bed and exhausted every other possibility, finally resorting to leaving the security of the room.

Opening the door slowly, I try to keep quiet and not draw attention to myself. I creep down the hall, passing the baby's room the door is open wide and empty. Soon... You'll be here soon. I close the door, heading further down the hall reaching the first guest bedroom. The door is open ajar, pushing it open a little more, I peek my head inside. The bed is a touch small than ours, made of wood with a leaf inspired headboard. The walls are pale green, with small picture frames hanging from them - they're all pictures that José has taken of landscapes: beautiful sunsets and photographs of the sound. He gave them to us as a wedding present, all of them beautifully framed and ready to be hung up as soon as we moved in. The curtains are open, what light there is shining through on to the bed, and on to Christian.

He's lying on his back, sprawled out on top of the duvet with just a sheet draped over him. His head is turned towards the window. I can't tell if he's awake or sleeping, waiting for the rise and fall of his chest to help decide which, but he's practically motionless. If he is asleep, he needs his rest. He doesn't sleep enough as it is. Taking a quick glance at him I pull the door to, leaving it as it was before I intruded. He's always so peaceful in his sleep; childlike and still. Unless he's having a nightmare, of course, but thankfully he hasn't had one in a while. If anything, I'm the one suffering from the dreaded night terrors.

I find myself in the kitchen, knowing that I'll need something to eat but losing my appetite as the minutes go by. Nothing excites me, nothing appeals and if anything my stomach churns at the thought of the majority of the food we have on offer. I can't stomach anything, last night I forced myself to eat more for keeping the peace, and not for myself or for Blip. Closing the fridge and retreating out of the kitchen I wonder out through the hallway, staring out to the sound through the wall of glass. It looks so peaceful outside - the sun slowly rising, the water calm and bobbing away in harmony with the breeze. Resisting the urge to go outside and enjoy this rare opportunity is too much, finding myself opening the french doors and feeling the clean air hitting me clear across the face, the chill stinging my nose.

The slow walk down to the decking is hard and cold under my bare feet, but I like it. I like the freedom of it. This is the only freedom I have, my mind closed off and caged surrounded by demons of Christian's past. Reaching the end of dock I slip down on to my behind, my legs hanging over the edge but nowhere near long enough to touch the water beneath me. I would assume it'd be freezing, judging by the chill fleeting around in the wind. I've always liked being outside when it's like this, though never when it's raining or snowing.

The sound is clear, nothing in sight expect the few birds that fly overhead and chirp quietly. I try to close my eyes and push out everything in my mind, taking a few deep breaths to help. All of my senses are heightened, hearing the strongest of them all. I don't turn around hearing footsteps coming down the dock, and feeling the vibrations as they edge nearer.

"I brought you this." Christian mumbles, sitting down beside me and throwing a blanket around my shoulders. I allow him to pull it around my front, unsure of how I feel around him now that he's conscious and talking. "It's cold out here."

"I like it."

"Have you been out here long?" He shifts, hanging his legs over the edge like I have.

"A while. Did I wake you?"

"That would be impossible. I haven't slept."

"At all?!" I throw back to him, surprised. I was sure he was sleeping.

Christian is staring out to the water, his eyes flickering to look at me through the corner of his eyes. He just nods his head and continues to sit there in silence.

"I didn't sleep well either. Weird dreams."

"Bad?"

"Yes." I catch him turning to look at me but I move my head quickly, turning face on and looking out ahead of me. I know I'll crumble looking him straight in the eye. He has that power over me and my body.

"Ana, I am sorry. You do know that? Don't you?"

"No I don't." I mumble, pulling the blanket around me tighter, the cold air causing me to shiver slightly, though being with him could be a likely culprit.

"I've apologised Ana -"

"I know you have, that's not in question." I interrupt, snapping at him. "But I don't know what you are apologising for. How am I supposed to believe you're sorry if I don't know what it is that you've done."

"Point well made."

"You need to start talking."

"Now?" His voice raised slightly.

"Yes. Now." I fire back. Come on Christian, sooner rather than later!

"Where do you want me to begin?" He sighs, finally caving.

"Start at the part where your paedophile ex-dom... sub, or whatever she was, continues to be a fixture in our lives." I snap, spitting it out with disgust. I can feel him tense up next me, knowing this conversation is going to be hard for both of us. "And tell me the truth this time."

"Ana, I have told you the truth."

"No you haven't. I asked you if she sent that picture to you and you lied. You swore on my life and our baby's life that she didn't give it to you!"

"I didn't know then that it was from her. Well, not for certain." He shifts next to me, crossing his legs underneath him and twisting his body to face me. I stay adamant, facing away from him. "I had my suspicions that it was from her, but I couldn't swear to it. I didn't even want it there, I was going to throw it away but I left for a meeting and Andrea fucked up and got maintenance to hang it in my office before I returned, thinking it was a Trouton piece."

"Why didn't you get rid of it then? If you thought it was from her and you claim that you didn't want it, why didn't you get her to un-hang it?" I fist my fingers around the blanket, bringing it closer to my chest.

"Ana, if you haven't realised I work hard. I can't chase around every little fucking thing when I have a million and one more important things to do! I would have got rid of it eventually, I didn't expect you to leave work in a fucking hissy fit and come storming into my office! Trust me, if I did, it would have been gone!"

"Well I'm sorry for wanting some comfort from my husband." I bite back, sharp with him. I can't believe he's passing this on to me!

"I didn't mean it that way." I catch him in the corner of my eye, running his fingers through his hair and slamming them down on to his lap. "Fuck sake Ana! I don't know how to deal with this!"

"When did you know that it came from her?"

"That night. When I was in the office with the security team, discussing the plans over the issues about that fucker and Grey Publishing, I emailed her. I needed to know that it wasn't from her, but evidently it was."

"Then why did you say it wasn't? If you didn't know then you could have just said!"

"I panicked. On one hand I was positive it was from her, in which case I tell you and it would have been world war three, or I go with the reality of the situation, tell you I don't know and then deal with the after math of that. I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind."

I finally give in and turn to face him, crossing my legs underneath me and mirroring him. I sit smaller than him, swamped in the blanket. The dock is small, resulting in us being close together but I make the conscious choice to limit the contact between us. I can't deal with that just yet.

"Okay. So you found out, then what happened?"

"I told her to leave us alone. Stop sending me things, and to cut off all communication. I told her about gifting the company to her. She was grateful that I didn't decide to bankrupt her." He looks straight at me, concentrating on my eyes. I crumble, looking around and diverting my attention. "I didn't speak to her for a short while, thinking that she might have taken the fucking hint. But she called me at work."

"And?"

"She asked for a meeting. She needed to tell me some things in person, she said they were important."

"Were they?"

"She wanted to apologise for what happened that night... the night you told me about Blip. But she also needed my help. Linc is being a bastard to her again, she didn't have the funds to secure a restraining order against him, at least not until I signed everything over to her. I gave her the money. We had lunch and discussed a few things. She asked me about you, and us."

"Really?"

"Ana, she still considers herself a close friend of mine even if I don't. She wanted to know if we were still the real deal and not some fleeting affair."

"Marriage not being enough proof?" I huff. That fucking bitch!

"Clearly not. She almost died when I told her about the baby."

"You did what?!" I bolt upright, clambering to my feet in one swift movement, the blanket falling to my feet. "You told her?"

"Ana, it just slipped out." Rushing to his feet he grabs my arms, steadying me and stooping down to my level. "Baby, I didn't know what I was saying. I was pissed that she was trying to make out that we're not real. I wanted to show her that we are, Blip is proof of that. I told her how happy I am. How happy we both are!"

"I guess that explains the gift then! I racked my brains trying to figure out how she knew about our baby and there it was all along. You couldn't keep your mouth shut." I pull my arms away from him, turning on my heel and storming up the decking towards the house.

"Ana!"

"No Christian. No!" Reaching my side and out of breath slightly, Christian pulls me towards him, both hands pressing into my arms. "Out of everyone in this world, she was the last person I wanted to know about Blip!"

"Baby, I'm sorry! I am so sorry!"

"How did she know about the house?" I question. Please don't tell me he told us where we were moving to!

"I don't know. That's part of the reason I was so fucking angry when she sent over that fucking gift to you! I asked her not to contact either of us again!"

I ease slightly, relaxing in his hold as he loosens his grip.

"Did you see her that Saturday? When she came to my office she said you saw her. She knew that you reacted badly to the gift. How would she know that?"

"I didn't see her. I swear I didn't. I know you probably don't believe me after everything, but I promise you. I drove around, headed up in her neighbourhood but couldn't go through with it. I drove to the docks and spent some time on the boat."

"How did she know that you were angry?"

"I called her. I told her to back off and leave us alone. I warned her that if she ever pulled a stunt like that again that I would fucking make sure that she fucking regrets it. When I hung up I answered my calls, Kate flew at me for not picking up and told me what happened. I came straight home."

I wriggle my arms out of his hold completely, heading back up to the house, slower this time - Christian walking at my pace to my left. Heading back inside I walk back into the kitchen, heating up some water for a cup of tea. I hear him scrape one of the stools along the floor, slipping into one of them and slamming his elbows down on the counter.

"None of that explains the painting in my office. Why did she send me one?"

"I don't know." I turn to face him, leaning up against the counter behind me. "Anger maybe? When I found out about her coming into your office I read her the riot act."

"Did you see her?"

"No. I left her a message. I called the lawyer just after and explained the situation to them, they said she did nothing wrong because the order wasn't in place at the time. We could sue her for harassment but nothing more."

I return to making my tea, once finished heading out of the kitchen and back upstairs to dress.

"Baby, are we okay now?" Christian coming up behind me, leaning down to my ear and breathing on me.

"No." I turn sharply, spinning on my heel quicker than expected. "No we are not okay."

"But I've told you everything!"

"I had to press you for it. You only told me because I wasn't talking to you and we had the mother of all rows over it!"

"I don't understand Ana, I've told you what happened!"

"It's not enough Christian. I'm pissed that she's still around, I'm furious that you've talked to her behind my back, but I'm fucking beyond furious and hurt that you kept all of this from me!" I scream at him, my throat aching and sore. "I shouldn't have to wind you up and wait for an argument to get the truth from you."

"I was trying to protect you."

"How?! How exactly are you protecting me by lying to me? No matter what you say, you lied to me the moment you decided to keep all this to yourself, leaving me in the dark once again! I thought we were over all of that?"

"I just thought that it would be better if I just kept it away from you. You're pregnant Ana, you don't need all of this hanging over you." He creeps forward slightly.

"No, what I don't need is for my husband to keep things from me. How am I supposed to trust you when you do this all the time?"

"Ana -"

I raise my arms in protest, backing up from him.

"Christian, I can't just forget all this because you finally opened up to me. It's not going to just wash away. i need some time and right now we need to push this aside and get ready."

"What for?"

"We're heading over to your parents for thanksgiving and they shouldn't have to be party to this." I turn, heading up the staircase, and getting away from him.

"How can I make this up to you?"

"Give me time."