42 Days

Piper was finding the constant pat downs to be more humiliating than she had first encountered. It made her alien to others as she moved from place to place. It also made seeing Alex alone very hard. Luschek gave her errands to do driving Nicky and two other girls around the grounds testing current in all of the out buildings. It was crap work but Piper was thankful to be driving. Once she was back in the building she was patted down. She didn't complain to anyone and just tried to stick out the storm. She did check her clothing often and she didn't stand next to anyone she didn't trust. Alex was struggling with it. She also continued her job on Healy. She met with him for over an hour on Monday. Piper sat with her in the rec room afterwards and tried to get her to talk about it. Alex just darted her eyes to the COs standing by the wall. Piper did tell her about Larry's accident...and she talked about her guilt. Alex listened.

"I'm sorry about his accident and I understand you are feeling guilty. I'd feel bad if someone visiting me had an accident," Alex said. She didn't tell Piper not to mention Larry and she was very thankful. She remembered how Alex specifically asked her not to talk about her future plans with him as her time got small. Piper hated not sharing everything and wasn't prepared for the difficulty.

"I'm out." Piper said as she started to count her points. Alex snorted and counted the points in her hand. Nicky came in and sat beside them. Piper smiled up at her and offered to deal her in to the game. She shook her head and just sat in the chair, watching Alex shuffle.

"Pipes do you remember when we taught or tried to teach those drunk tourist how to play rummy? We were trapped in a hut during a downpour. Where.." Alex stopped her mind trying to remember.

"West Java, I think. That happened more than once. Alex would get a notion to go out without a guide and it would rain." Piper smiled remembering. Nicky smiled, she liked hearing their stories. Piper knew that and so did Alex.

"I was in Jakarta once, I was clean too...I wasn't when I left. Shit is easy to get there. It was a weekend. You guys seemed to have spent a long time there." Nicky prompted.

"That was Alex's main territory in the beginning." Piper offered. Alex looked at her and squinted. Piper raised her eyebrow. She knew Alex didn't share many specific details. She thought perhaps Alex wanted to keep a low profile. Yet she knew that she trusted Nicky.

"It was fun...until someone steps on a jellyfish." Alex said. Piper laughed and Nicky just shook her head. Piper was happy because she was winning. Dawson came in to the room and stopped to talk to his buddy Walsh. He heard Piper laugh when she went out and Nicky was stuck with a full hand of cards. He walked over and demanded she stand for a pat down. Alex stiffened. Nicky got a bored look on her face and leaned back.

"I don't get it, you guys know Mendez is a douche bag. Why the sudden show of support?" Nicky asked in her sarcastic voice. Walsh was on her quickly. Alex stood up too and Walsh put out his arm. He pulled Nicky up and started to pat her down as well. Alex stood frozen. Piper clenched her jaw to remain silent. Nicky turned when he was done and said, "You should look in to some blood pressure medicine, Officer, I heard that cold sweaty hands may be a sign of hypertension." He threatened her with a shot and Alex stepped up beside her.

"She is just worried about you Sir. We don't want anything to...I mean we're just heading out to our bunks." Alex pulled at Nicky but didn't reach for Piper as Dawson still had her by the forearm. She did stand still and just look over at him.

"Head back to your cubes ladies before you lose privileges." Dawson threatened. Piper walked out in front of Alex. She apologized and Nicky just shrugged.

"Look it is better I get in trouble than Alex going off, which is what they want. It pisses them off she got away with knocking Mendez on his ass...though really no one saw it but you guys and Kaputo." Nicky explained.

Alex sighed and said as she looked at Piper, "I just dont want them fucking up your time out."

"You and me both."Piper replied. She said good night and walked with Nicky to the dorms. Alex was still in the rooms. Piper thought she'd get Conner's bed but it all depended on when Healy did the paperwork. Piper tried not to worry about what Alex was up to with him.

Each night in her bunk, Piper would write another entry to Alex. She always dated it and it was always full of stuff she never said to her in person.

Today I dealt Nicky in to a game. It was easy and natural yet I felt like I was going to puke. I want to shout...please don't come around her, please don't sit next to her, please god don't fuck her when I go.

But I didn't. See, I'm learning how to love you better.

The constant pat downs are wearing on me. I hate to see it touch you and it makes me want to avoid you. But that just hurts. When is it ever going to get easy for us.

Day 41

Piper visited with Larry and Pete. He looked so awkward on crutches. She hugged him close and kissed his neck. Piper wanted to sigh the cast but she wasn't allowed. They knew it but for some reason it pissed her off. Larry joked and Pete teased him mercilessly.

"Look, I have some good news. I spoke with your lawyer and I will be able to pick you up from here and drive you to the halfway house. There isn't anyone else going to that area, so it would be a special trip. You were a self surrender so basically it is the same thing. I will pick you up at the gate and we get to ride together to the house. I will be able to drive by then." He offered. Pete wasn't too sure but he seemed to try and be positive. Piper was thrilled she didn't have to ride to New York in the van. She wasn't sure she would have been restrained but she was worried about it.

After the visit, she watched them leave from the window. Larry waved up and hobbled out on crutches. She felt better having seen him. She found Alex in her room and was actually happy she'd made it to her room without a pat down. Alex looked up and smiled.

"I think I'll be in the dorm soon. You saw Larry? How is his leg?" Alex asked. P

"He is in pain and I hate it. They wouldn't let me sign his cast. Pissed me off but what can you do?" Piper said as she looked at the top bunk that had been hers when she first got there. She wanted to tell her that Larry would pick her up but she thought that was information that maybe she didn't want to know. Not telling her made Piper feel awful.

"What is it?" Alex said, patting the bunk beside her. Piper sat, careful not to touch her thigh.

"He arranged to be able to pick me up and take me to the house when I leave. I was happy I don't have to be transported. I wasn't sure if I'd have to go in cuffs or.." Piper tried to explain.

"Well good. I don't want you to ride like that ever, if you can help it. That is a good thing, it probably kept you from having to wait a few days until they had more going your way." Alex explained and Piper nodded agreeing.

"I never know what to tell you..or what to say. I have all of this going on and..."she mumbled.

Alex nodded and smiled, " You know I understand it is hard. I just can't hear things that will...about when you get out. I looked and the brochure. You'll have evenings to hang out a bit, chores and you will start your job. You will excel there and be home with him in Brooklyn before you know it. I...can't know any details Piper." Her voice broke and Piper reached out to take her hand. Alex looked up at the door. Her roommates were playing rook in the rec room before last count.

"I'm sorry. I...wow this is harder than we thought, so let's just set it all up. I can't see you when I leave. I'll be on restrictions for two years. However, I think we can do things like use Roger to send mail or phone calls." Piper began. She had thought about it...it was a grim reality but it was what they had.

"Well, we have two things there. One, is that you promised Larry we wouldn't communicate." Alex began, she looked at Piper with a hopeful gaze. It said, " please pick me" but her mouth stayed closed.

"I can't do that. I can't keep that promise. I realized it when you were gone. It is too hard Alex, knowing you are alright is fundamental to me not losing my fucking mind." Piper said in a desperate voice. Alex nodded softly. Piper looked at her, waiting on her to continue.

"Two, I want you free and living your life. It is important to me, Piper. I...need to know you are healthy and whole...but I don't want you to return here. I know I can say goodbye to you once, but Piper..." Alex shook her head. She had never watched her lover leave like Piper had watched with Larry each week.

"But I'll see you...I will be able to hold you at least twice a week. Baby..please don't be like this.." Piper tried not to whine but it sounded that way. Alex squeezed her hand and shook her head.

"That is what I offer, listen..I will write to Roger with letters meant for you on the first and fifteenth of each month as long as I'm at Litchfield. We can discuss visitation once you are off of all the restrictions...but don't count on it. I just ask that we write like how we did, you know..thoughts we'd share if we were together and a conversation." Alex said. Piper's heart soared as it was better than she thought.

"Okay um what about Larry? No mention.." she edged asking. Alex stood up and walked over to the door, leaning in the frame she looked down the hall and back, checking for COs or her roommates returning. Piper waited while Alex thought. She bit her lip in the way she does when she is worried. It really made Piper want to kiss her. She clenched the mattress of her bunk hard with both hands instead.

"In general, but you know I don't want to know about your relationship. If you ever decide you don't want to keep writing then just send me a postcard that says, "Hello. Goodbye."Alex said with a sad smile. It was from The Glass Menagerie and Piper had read it to Alex when they first met. Piper nodded agreeing but she couldn't imagine doing that.

"What about phone calls?" Piper ventured. She was trying to push for as much as she could, she knew the more Alex kept in touch with her the better they would fair.

"We both have called him. I will not take a chance."Alex said. Piper frowned. She knew the state woudln't have the resources to tap a prominent citizen's phone just to catch her in a violation. Still she let Alex have this one...

"Um maybe just at first or something to know we're okay..." Piper tried again. Alex sighed.

"This is good though, look at us..two adults having a conversation about a hard situation. We're disagreeing but not shouting. I think this may be our best relationship convo since we both admitted we're fuckheads." Piper offered to Alex to make her smile.

Alex walked over and sat back down, leaning over to put her mouth close to Piper. Piper looked at her lips and stifled a moan. "I'll think about it and yes we are doing surprisingly well. However, you haven't said if you are going to tell Larry about our communicating."

Piper sighed again and looked at her in the eyes. " I will if you make me. I...don't share well when it comes to you and to be honest, I think the fewer people that know the better. We haven't even got Roger to agree yet, so..." Piper said talking with her hands like she does when she is upset.

"I don't want to make you do anything Piper. I agree though about the safety. I tell you what, you tell him if you want or don't I'll write the letters like I promised. AND I'll think about a call. Roger will agree, he pretty much said he would help us when you got out. I do talk to him often. Polly is still on my list as well but we need to make sure first that you aren't being monitored that closely." Alex said with a grin. Piper had to laugh imagining Polly taking calls from Alex.

They were laughing when the CO came in and told Alex to come with him to her new bunk. Sure enough it was Conners. She was two cubes down from Piper and Stacy. Piper was pleased she was so close. She spent time before lights out listening to Alex read. It was nice. She also looked through the brochure with her. Alex was happy to see the place and hoped she got a good placement like that. Piper knew it was Larry's dad that worked hard to get her there, in Brooklyn, close to his son. She didn't brag and was grateful for her advantages.

Piper remembered when Alex would crawl in to bed late at night in their London apartment. She had two major issues happen while they were out at the theatre. Piper had to take the tube back because Alex had to return to the flat. When she did Alex was still on the phone. Piper went to bed and was asleep before Alex was finished. Yet that night, Alex pulled her to her and nuzzled her neck, waking her up.

"I did it. I worked it out and everything will go through. I did it and I turned around..but you were in here. I then totally wanted to be in here with you." She whispered in her ear. Piper was tired and tired of getting pushed aside for Alex's job. She resisted and turned away. Alex growled with frustration.

"You know, I just want to provide for you. I know I work too much but my job isn't one I can just turn off because we got tickets on the West End." Alex said. It was an old fight. Piper just rubbed her face and turned to face her.

"I was sleeping Alex, you feel guilty I went to bed without you and are horny because you made a big deal. I didn't say a thing, I just went to sleep...but now that I'm awake." Piper said and she pounced on her. She pinned Alex's hand up over her head and kissed her thoroughly. She had missed her tonight, she had touched herself while she waited, thinking about Alex, hoping she'd come to bed. Piper ground her hips in tight circles against Alex's thigh. She brought her leg up to Alex's sex and rubbed up. Alex had enough. She turned her over fast and was kissing down her body, on top of the squirming girl. Piper squirmed. Alex did her magic on Piper, her slow licking tongue driving Piper insane. They made love until the sun came up and Piper made them breakfast. Alex was back on the phone by 10AM but Piper had enjoyed a morning in bed with her and that kept her thrilled for weeks.

In her bunk that night Piper wrote more in her journal letter.

Dear Alex,

You have moved down the row from me and we actually got to read together tonight. We talked about the house...we made plans like adults. I feel better knowing what we are going to do, but I still don't know how I am going to exist with only letters from you for two years. I can't allow myself to think about further years especially if you will not relent about visiting. I don't know what we are going to do.

I heart you.

P

***I hope you are enjoying the story. Let me tell you guys that your reviews just make my day. I enjoy writing this so much and the interaction is my favorite part. Please review. Peace, FaeCym