My phone finally figured out how to handle dividers when I put them in so- yay.
This fic is dragging, I know, so kudos to you if you're still reading. I love you.
MEREDITH'S POV
" Look at them." Cristina moans . " Oh, I'm gonna be sick. "
She follows her narrowed eyes to a gap in the blinds of the Chief's office, where Derek and Addison are kissing passionately, her arms twining round his neck and his hands in her perfect hair .
" How can they be so frickin in love after a bazillion years of being married? I've lived with Owen three days and I swear if that man leaves the toilet seat up one more time I'm going to slam it shut right on his-"
" Let's stop right there, shall we? " Owen walks up behind them and kisses her on the cheek . " Why are you standing here, I sent you to get Addison to sign off on my pro bono ten minutes ago. "
She grabs his head in both hands and angles it towards the gap that's giving them a free show. " I'll go in there when the Shepherds can keep their hands off each other. "
" Not happening. " Richard says, sounding resigned. " Believe me, I worked with them for years in New York. "
If they were always like this then what was I, a palate cleanser?
" Richard? What are you doing here? " Owen asks, blinking furiously as if his retinas have been burned.
" I'm easing back in, Addie gave me a hernia repair and some chole's today. " he says, looking fixedly at his shoes.
" I thought you were starting next week. " Mark Sloan booms, swaggering up to the them on the catwalk with his arm around Lexie, who takes one look at her sister's face and bolts.
" I'm starting as interim chief next week - I just needed to cut today. "
" What's this about? " Bailey demands, bustling in with Tuck on her hip and an enraged expression on her face.
She's waving around at the tinsel and baubles on the walls and railings.
" That would be Addison's doing . " Richard says, scribbling in a chart.
" She believes in holiday cheer. And she's Chief until next week, so bear with it. " Mark explains as Bailey opens her mouth to demand elaboration.
And I hate the freaking holidays; one more reason I'm not McAnything.
" There is mistletoe in the hallways. Mistletoe. I am gonna have a word with that woman. " she glowers.
" Why are we standing here?" Teddy questions, craning her neck to see what they're looking at.
" That. " Cristina jabs a finger towards the window.
" Oh, man. " Mark says appreciatively, leaning against the glass railing to watch.
" Did they get into the mistletoe? "
That would be better than if they were doing it for no reason at all, because who even does that ?
" Did who get into what mistletoe? " Izzie pipes. " And where's Dr. Montgomery - Shepherd, I need to talk to her about pre -op rounds. "
Why the hell does everyone need her ?
" Looks like we've got a bit of a wait. " Owen gestures to the office, trying to keep his coffee cup out of Cristina 's reach and failing .
" Bets on how far they go. " Mark says, rubbing his hands together and grinning.
" Twenty bucks says second base. "
I'm kicking you out of the Dirty Mistresses Club, you traitor. First you get all normal and happy with my half sister I'm not sure I even like and then you act like this isn't all wrong.
" Twenty says they're grown ups and not hormonal teenagers like you, Sloan. " Callie says, slapping the money into his palm.
" Don't you people have like actual surgeries to do ? " Izzie asks, shaking her head.
" You know, Blondie, I liked you better when you weren't allowed to talk or breathe or touch. "
That's me now.
" Does anyone actually know why the
She- Shepherd is stepping down? " Owen asks, and she can't help but notice that Mark and Teddy are suddenly in a hurry to leave .
" Not a clue. " Richard says comfortably.
" All right, who's gonna knock? I really need these signed so I can get started. "
" Not me. " Cristina and Owen chorus.
" I've done it before, I'm too old for it now. " Richard shudders at some repressed memory.
" I have a baby to drop off at daycare. " Bailey shrugs. " A baby who don't need to see that in there. "
" I can handle rounds. " Izzie says quickly. " And I really need them to babysit my kid and I'm not risking making them mad. "
" She's my friend, so I'm not interrupting their little makeout session in there. " Callie shrugs. " Take it where you can get it, right Mark? "
" My sentiments exactly. " he replies, taking off after Lexie.
Traitor.
" Well, someone gotta go, or the ORs are gonna be backed up all day. " Bailey barks.
They all turn their eyes toward her, and it's a minute before she realises they're expecting her to say actual words.
No.
Out loud probably.
" Oh, no way, I am not knocking on that door. I'm already on probation."
" And that's why you're my shadow and you have to do what I say. " Cristina shoves her towards the office. " Get going, Mer, or I swear you'll be on scut for the rest of the week. "
Don't you dare come crawling into my bed the next time you break Owen's heart.Not that there's anyone else in it.
She drags her feet all the way, aware of their eyes following her like little laser dots.
What do I say when I interrupt my ex boyfriend kissing his wife who may or may not be pregnant and who is also my boss I may or may not have gotten into serious trouble with the law and who I'm now on probation with?
She knocks tentatively, pressing her ear to the door to make sure they haven't made good on Mark's predictions.
Not that that would be much worse to walk in on, she thinks dully.
Nothing hurts very much anymore.
" Derek, I -"
" Come on, Addie, the ultrasound was clear and you know it's safe to tell everyone now. My family's going to be here in a week anyway and you're fine with telling them, so why not these people? We work with them every day, they're obviously going to be thrilled. "
Pick me, choose me, love me. I can't believe I actually said that to him. Maybe I drove him off with sheer neediness and all my mommy issues.
" It's just that with the lawsuit and everything the last thing I need is everyone thinking it was pregnancy brain that caused this -"
Better your husband's possibly deranged ex mistress than pregnancy brain, eh ?
" It wasn't your goddamn fault, Addison, stop blaming yourself; and you couldn't get pregnancy brain if you tried, you're too smart. "
You used to tell me I'm smart, but now I talk to myself in my head.
Addison laughs softly at that, there's a rustle of fabric and Cristina beckons to her that it's safe to go in.
" Dr. Montgomery - Shepherd? " she raps harder on the door this time.
" Uh, come in." she calls, sounding flustered.
Satan's human after all.
" How long were you, um, standing there? " she asks, swiping at her hair as she settles into her chair.
You look fabulous anyway, why bother.
" Not long. " she forces a smile. " Anyway, there's a lot of people waiting for you, they need you to -"
" Send them all in. " she says, looking at her pager. " Oh, and Derek ? "
" Yeah? " he asks, half out the door. He hasn't even acknowledged her presence.
" Go ahead and tell Richard and Owen But Callie and Miranda are mine . " she smiles, tapping the corner of her mouth to indicate he has a smudge of bright red on his.
It's a perfectly vague comment, no one can tell what she's referring to; or at least, it would have been if she hadn't heard what she did.
The upside of dating me is I don't wear lipstick , she thinks, recalling ruefully the lip gloss she'd tried to outdo Addison with.
Like I could possibly stand a chance against Isabella freaking Rosselini.
" You sure? " he grins widely, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, making Addison frown.
" Mmhmm."
" Okay. Hey, Meredith, I'm going to be a father. " he says, looking her directly in the eyes. " Isn't that great? "
ADDISON'S POV
" Derek." she says quietly, her heart going out to Meredith, who suddenly looks very white and very young.
" It's good news, Addie, everyone should hear. " he says, a cold hard glitter in his eyes.
Let them go after her, Addie, you don't need this kind of stress right now. It wasn't your fault anyway.
" I'll see you, " he steps back in, past a frozen Meredith and kisses her on her dutifully upturned cheek. " at seven. You , me and Christmas catalogues; wait for me and I'll pick you up. "
He swipes the car keys from the bowl on her desk ; Teddy told him she should rest as much as possible and he's completely overdoing it.
He leaves, humming happily to himself.
Does he even realise what he does when he speaks like that?
But he doesn't; she knows that firsthand.
" I'll just send them in." Meredith whispers, her voice curiously flat.
" No - sit. " she says, half rising from her chair before she knows it, like she's expecting Meredith to run.
She does, on the edge of her chair, worrying at her cuticles, which are already bloody and torn.
" Meredith -" she begins gently, remembering the times she's sat Amy down like this and hoping this talk will go better than those.
" Is there something you need, -Shepherd? Because I should go, I have lots to catch up on. " she rises to leave, running a hand through her sandy hair.
" Meredith," she says, stronger this time.
" I'm sorry."
She laughs mirthlessly . " For which bit, exactly ? Congratulations, anyway. "
And then she's lost in a flurry of doctors entering the room, chattering and thrusting files in her face, and by the time she looks up again she's gone.
She tells Callie and Miranda at lunch that day, Callie squeals loud enough to make the entire cafeteria stare at them and Miranda offers to pray for her vagina.
" Come on, Bailey, don't be so cynical. " she laughs, hugging the smaller woman. " That's what you said when Tuck was born, but you love him all the same. "
" I love my boy all right, " she snorts. " It's just that he was one and you're havin' two, so- "
She shoves a chip in Bailey's mouth then, not wanting to think about that just yet.
Owen comes awkwardly up to her while she glares at the OR board.
" I hear congratulations are in order. "
" Derek told you? " she purses her mouth.
" He's practically knitting booties. " Owen laughs, and she feels her heart swell.
" Addison - can I call you Addison? "
" Of course, Owen, I don't bite. "
" What's it feel like, " he asks, tugging nervously at his scrubs " to have it all?"
" Pretty damn good. " she says, feeling her face split into a grin wide as a clown's.
" Why're you asking? "
" Just a thought. " he shrugs, but she can guess pretty correctly where his mind is.
" You and Yang serious?" she asks, looking at the board and not at him to avoid scaring him off.
" I am. I'm not sure about her, though. "
Yeah, I know that feeling.
Instead she pats him lightly on the cheek.
" She'll come around. "
Richard finds her in the elevator and hugs her so hard she drops her pager and files on the ground.
" I hope those little Shepherds are more like you than their father ." he says, and she suspects he might be crying into her hair.
" I always knew I was your favorite. " she teases, bending to pick up the mess strewn across the floor.
" I'll get it." he says hastily, pulling her upright by the shoulders and piling everything into her arms. " Can I tell Adele?"
" Go ahead. "
" I'm warning you though, she'll probably start crying and knitting right away. "
She laughs, remembering all the times Adele has stood in the role of her mother.
She spends the rest of her day being congratulated by various stammering interns and residents, does two surgeries, throws up thrice , wishes she could go straistraight home and crawl into bed to sleep forever and finds Derek waiting in her office, lounging on her couch and eating all her mints from the bowl on her desk.
" Stop eating all my mints. " she mumbles, shoving his feet off her coffee table.
" They're really good, the ones on my desk taste like toothpaste. " he says, poking one into her mouth.
She sucks on it a minute before it slides unbidden down her throat.
Stay there.
" Maybe it's because they're the same ones I put there a year ago."
" You do a lot of stuff for me I don't even notice, so. ... thank you. For all of it. "
She sits up straight, staring at him. " Are you all right? "
" Why wouldn't I be?"
" You said thank you. To me. You actually acknowledged something I did for you, in a not - sarcastic way. " she confirms, wondering if her pregnancy hormones are somehow screwing with his brain.
He pulls her close and buries his face in her hair. " It's about time I did. "
" Derek Shepherd, you are a strange man."
" I just love you and realise how lucky I am to have you love me back. Now come on, let's go get dinner before you start hormonally crying and flipping out. "
" That's more like the Derek I know. "
DEREK'S POV
"Aren't you supposed to have cravings? " he asks, watching her nibble at her plain salad.
" Later. When I'm not throwing up so much."
" Maybe we should have saved this place for later, then. " he says, gesturing around at the dimly lit room, all soft clinking silverware and violins, something he knows she always likes.
Damn it, Derek, cut her a break.
" Come on, Derek, I'm not being miserable on purpose, I'm just tired. "
" Make sure she doesn't run herself ragged. She'll tire easily , but she's not one to show it, so watch her." Teddy told him that morning, dragging him into a stairwell .
" I wasn't saying that, I -"
She slides back her chair. " Can we just go, please. "
He slides her coat around bare shoulders - wardrobe as impractical as ever - and wraps an arm around her waist as they walk to the car.
" Christmas shopping. " he remembers belatedly, he knew he'd forgotten something.
She smirks against his shoulder, an inch shorter than him today in lower than usual heels. " Just help me wrap them, I've got the rest covered. "
When the hell does she do this stuff? And how do I never know about it?" Whe-"
" Yesterday evening. I had a surgery but there wasn't an OR available for a few hours so I entertained myself. "
" Why didn't you say anything this morning?"
" You were so excited about it, I didn't want to burst your bubble. And since we're on the subject - Derek, please, lighten up on Meredith, she's already having a rough time."
You have to worry about everything don't you.
He snorts derisively. " She made her bed, she can lie in it."
" It could have happened to anyone! And you have no right to attack her personally like you did this morning, do you even realise she was in love with you, do you care that flinging this pregnancy in her face probably ripped her heart out ? She's trying to heal herself, Derek, let her alone to do it."
" Since when are you Saint Addison, patron saint of forgiving mistresses?"
" Derek, what is wrong with you tonight? " she pushes away from him, annoyed.
" Just get in the car, Addison. " he sighs, not trusting himself to speak.
She pretends to ignore him in the car but he knows her too well; he can almost predict every sidelong glance she sends his way when she thinks he won't notice.
At home she flings her bag onto the console before stalking upstairs; he can hear water running and predicts that she won't be out for a while.
He pushes tentatively on the door - he's really in the doghouse if it's locked, but it swings open - and finds her neck deep in bubbles, eyes closed, peaceful for once.
"I'm sorry, Addie, I didn't mean to - "
" Snap? "
" Yeah. And be an insensitive -"
" Jackass?"
He winces. " If it makes you feel better to say it. "
She opens one eye to look at him. " Derek, I'm going to be hormonal and whiny and un-fun for a while, so either bear with me or keep your mouth shut. "
" I know. I promise I'll do whatever you need, I'll do the whole 3 am fast food runs, backrubs and hold you when you cry thing, and I swear I'll try not to be so rude to Meredith if it bothers you so much. "
" Thank you."
He quietly slides out of his clothes and gets in the tub, trying not to slosh water over the edge or step on her feet.
It's lukewarm, not scalding like the baths she usually steeps in after a particularly long day.
" Hot baths are risky. " she peers at him over her knees, which she draws up to let him sit.
He wonders if she's going to deprive herself of every relaxation for nine months - no alcohol, no caffeine, no hot water, ... no sex?
" So I'm compensating with bubbles. " she says, throwing a handful his way.
He settles against the wall of the tub, arms resting along the edge, closing his eyes with a sigh and opening them again when he feels soft lips against his neck.
" You know what else the hormones do?" she breathes, settling on his legs.
" I can guess ." he grins, shoving bubbles out of his way as he reaches for her.
Clearly I'm dragging a bit - I have a mental block the size of Derek's ego. I promise I'll get my shot togtogether, though, so please keep reading !