Apologies, everyone. I so wanted to get this chapter posted last week but, it just didn't happen. RL got in my way again. But I finally did it, and here it is. Enjoy!
Chapter 35
Cuddy hung her head after Bella left the room. What the hell was she thinking? This was too much for Bella right now. How could she spring this on her after telling her she had to go back into therapy? 'Good job, Lisa…you idiot.' She thought. Sighing, Cuddy dialed House's number.
"Yeah." He answered.
"House…she didn't take it well, I don't think you should bring them over."
She heard a soft sigh on the other end. "Is she ok?"
"I don't know, I don't think so." She told him softly. "How could I do this to her, House? First I tell her she has to go to therapy, which I know she hates and then I bring her past back up and throw it right in her face. God, I'm such an idiot."
"Stop beating yourself up, Cuddy, we both knew this could happen. And anyway, it's my fault, not yours." He replied. "Look, I'll take the stuff to my place, if she decides she wants it I'll just go back and get it."
Cuddy nodded in agreement. "Ok, thank you, House. And…I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it, Cuddy."
Cuddy shook her head, knowing it was impossible to stop worrying about it. "Tell Wilson I said thank you for helping." She responded.
"Yeah."
"I have to go… I should go talk to Bella."
"I'm sorry, Cuddy." He mumbled softly into the phone.
"It'll be ok, House. You don't worry either…I'll talk to her."
Cuddy heard him hang up. She knew he would beat himself up for this, just like she was, but it was done and they couldn't change it. All Cuddy could do was make sure that Bella would be ok now. She left the laundry room and made her way to Bella's bedroom. When she stood outside Bella's room, she softly knocked on the door. Not receiving an answer, she knocked once more.
"Bella, can I come in, Sweetie?"
"Mmhm." She answered in a muffled voice through the door.
Cuddy opened the door and stepped inside her room. Bella was sitting on the edge of her bed, her cheeks wet with tears and her eyes red from crying. She held Splat in her arms, holding him tightly to her chest. Cuddy walked over to her and sat down beside her, placing her arm around Bella's shoulder.
"I'm sorry." Cuddy told her in a whisper. "I shouldn't have brought this up right now, I know it's hard enough having to go back to your therapy sessions. This is too much, too soon and I am so sorry."
Bella sniffled, squeezing her eyes shut at the rush of tears spilling out of her eyes. She opened them and wiped at her eyes, staring across the room. "How did you know where it was?" She asked in a pained voice. "I never told you…how did you know?"
Cuddy stroked Bella's back before lowering her hand and turning her body to face Bella. "You're caseworker, Janine, she helped us get your stuff back. House and I thought it might help you to have it back."
"Help me what?" She asked. "Remember everything I lost and what happened to me? I already remember it, my old stuff ain't gonna change nothin'."
Cuddy nodded. "I know. I know you can never forget what happened to you." She sighed, her emotions building over how Bella must be feeling right now. "God, I can't even imagine going through what you have, Bella." She told her sadly as a tear slipped down her cheek. "I admire you every day for having a smile on your face, and for being able to hear your beautiful laughter, when I know all the things you've been through plague you every day of your life. I wish I could take it away from you; you have no idea how much I wish I could do that." Cuddy wiped the tears from her eyes and took in a deep, calming breath. "We didn't get your stuff to remind you of what you lost, Sweetie. We got it so that you could remember your Mom and Dad and Mattie the way that you want to remember them and the way that they should be remembered. We did it so that you could remember the good times that you had with them. The times that made you laugh and be the happy little girl I know you can be and deserve to be." Cuddy brushed Bella's hair behind her ear. "I understand if you don't want your stuff, Sweetheart, and we're not making you keep it. If you want us to get rid of it, we will. Just think about it, ok? That's all I'm asking."
Bella nodded as she continued to stare across the room, scratching Splat behind his ears as she held onto him tightly. Cuddy moved to stand up when she heard Bella's voice.
"Lisa."
"Yeah, baby." She responded softly, sitting back down.
"I don't want to look at it today. But I want to keep it." She told her, tilting her head up to look at her.
Cuddy nodded and gave her a small reassuring smile. "Ok, whenever you're ready."
Bella nodded.
Cuddy placed a soft kiss on her forehead and hugged her tightly. "I love you so much."
Bella leaned into her. "I love you too." She mumbled.
Cuddy released Bella from her hug, looking down at her. "Are you going to be ok? Do you want me to stay with you or do you want to be alone?"
Bella shrugged. "I think I'll draw for a little bit."
"Ok. Remember, I promised we could go to the art museum, if you still want to go." Cuddy told her.
Bella looked up at her, a hint of a smile coming to her face. "Really?"
"Of course, Sweetie, we can go this afternoon."
"Ok."
"I'll come get you for lunch and then we'll get ready and go."
Bella nodded.
Cuddy stood up and made her way out of the room, closing Bella's door behind her. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head. She felt awful for making Bella feel this way. She hoped taking Bella to the art museum would distract her for a few hours so she wouldn't be constantly thinking about everything that's happened in the last 24 hours. She's had a rough day already and all she wanted was to allow her to forget for a few hours. The laundry forgotten, she made her way to her bathroom to take a long bath, needing to relax after all of the emotions she's felt this morning. She hoped the rest of the day would turn out better than it started, because she had a feeling tonight would be a rough night. Cuddy sighed, knowing that she should expect Bella to have a nightmare tonight after all that has been brought forward into her mind.
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30 Minutes Ago
House hung up the phone with disappointment as he changed direction and drove them toward his apartment.
"She didn't want them?" Wilson asked with similar disappointment and concern.
House shook his head. "She didn't take it well, but I don't think she'll want to get rid of it."
Wilson nodded. "I'm sorry, House. I know you just wanted to help her."
"It's not me I'm worried about, Wilson. I shouldn't have done this to her…it's too much for her to handle right now. I just made things worse…as usual."
Wilson chuckled.
House looked over at him with a scowl. "You think this is funny?"
Wilson shook his head and chuckled again. "No, what I think is funny is that you claim you don't love this little girl, but here you are, selflessly doing everything you can to help her and then beating yourself up over something you had no control over. Are you sure you're Greg House and not some nicer House clone replaced by the aliens that abducted the real House?"
"Are you sure you weren't abducted by aliens and replaced with a more annoying clone of yourself?"
Wilson chuckled once more, ignoring him. "Don't kick my ass for saying this…but I'm proud of you House."
"Oh shut up." He rolled his eyes, causing Wilson to chuckle again.
They arrived at House's apartment several minutes later and Wilson unloaded the boxes, setting them down inside the living room. House brought in the instruments, sitting down on the couch and taking the guitar out of its case.
"What are you doing?" Wilson asked with alarm in his voice. "You're not going to look through all of this, are you?"
"Get your tightie whities out of your ass, I'm just tuning it."
House took the guitar, looking it over and noticing it was a relatively cheap guitar, as guitars go, considering some of them run up into the thousands. It was nice but it wasn't impressive; the kid probably saved up his money to buy it or it was a gift, House surmised. He could tell Mattie treasured it because it was well taken care of; not a scratch on it, except that you could tell it had been played a lot. He began strumming the guitar and making sure each chord was tuned. It seemed to have been untouched since Mattie last played it. House wondered how good he had been at the two instruments he possessed and which one he preferred, the guitar or violin. Maybe Bella could answer that for him…someday. When he had made sure it was tuned, he began playing. It sounded pretty good. House wondered why Mattie hadn't taken his instruments with him when he and Bella ran away; he obviously loved them, why would he have left them behind? Although he was sure that Bella would someday be glad that he had.
Wilson watched him play and House glanced up at him. "She'll be ok, House." He told him encouragingly.
He nodded and stopped the movements of his fingers over the chords. "I know. Cuddy says thanks." He replied.
Wilson nodded, a small smile on his face. "No problem. I've got to go but call me if you need me to help you take them over to Cuddy's."
House nodded.
Wilson stood up and made his way to the door. Before leaving, he turned around and looked at House. "Hey House, you're doing good. I really am proud of you." He told him, turning around and exiting his apartment before House could reply.
House stared at his door for a moment after Wilson walked out of it. He didn't know what he had done that was so good; he probably screwed the kid up even more than he already had before. He lowered his gaze to the guitar in his hands and set it aside, leaning back on his couch. He wondered how Bella was feeling right now. Cuddy had only told him that she didn't take it well. What does that mean? She's pissed? She's crying her eyes out? He didn't know. It sort of made him wonder if he should hold off on finding Mattie's killer. But then again, maybe she needs to know that the person that did it is behind bars, allowing her to have the closure she needs. He knew she wouldn't fully get that closure until she talked about it, though. House did not envy Bella having to go to a shrink. He knows she needs it, but if it were him, he couldn't do it. That was one of the reasons he admired her; her courage. She was just a kid, but she was one of the bravest people he knew. He needed to find who did this to her and Mattie. He couldn't rest until he knew.
House took his cell phone and the business card Janine had given him, out of his pocket. He dialed the number on the back and listened as it rang a couple of times before someone picked up.
"Yeah, this is Max." He heard on the other end of the phone.
"This is Dr. Greg House, am I speaking with Officer Maxwell Cohen?"
"Yeah, Dr. House, my sister said you'd be calling. I just didn't think it'd be so soon."
"I have questions and I need answers, Mr. Cohen, and apparently you're the only one who's willing to help me with that. I wasn't going to waste anymore time."
"Alright then, what can I do for you, Doctor?"
"I'm looking for a 14 year old boy who was killed in New York City last year. His name was Matthew Porter but he was brought into the medical examiner as a John Doe. He was killed by a gunshot wound to the head and was shot in the abdomen as well. Those are the only details I have on him at this time, but I may be able to produce a photo in the future."
"Dr. House, do you know how many John Doe's come in to M.E.'s office?"
"I'm only looking for one, Cohen. Can you help me or not?" House replied.
"Look, Dr. House, you're looking for a needle in a haystack, but…I can speak with someone in the M.E.'s office to see if they can help you find anything on this kid, but it's going to take some time, the M.E.'s office is a busy place."
"I know that, I just want him found and I want his killer brought to justice, I don't care how long it takes."
"I understand that and I'll help you out as much as I can, but it would help to have as much information as possible. I understand he was a runaway, do you know if he was placed on a missing persons list?"
"I'm not sure."
"Alright, I'll do a search for him in our database and if nothing comes up there I'll contact a buddy of mine in the FBI to see if he can find anything on the kid. In the meantime, there are missing person's websites out there that law enforcement sometimes uses to widen the search for them…you could check a few of those out as well."
House nodded in agreement. "I'll do that."
"Good luck, Dr. House. I'll give you a call back this week and let you know what I found out."
"Thank you." He replied, a satisfied smirk on his face. This was going to work; he was going to find Mattie. And when he did, he was going to find the bastard that put a bullet in his head, thereby destroying Bella's life in the process, and put him behind bars for the rest of his life.
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"B. B, wake up."
Bella slowly opened her eyes, seeing Mattie looming above her, shaking her shoulder. She frowned up at him as her blurry eyes cleared and her sleep-fogged brain slowly woke up.
"Mattie?" She replied aloud.
"Shhhh. Bella, get up, we're leaving this place." He whispered.
Bella scowled at him. "We are? Where are we going?" She whispered back in response.
"I'm taking you away from here. Mom and Dad wouldn't want us to stay here with these people, so we're leaving."
"But Mattie, where are we supposed to go?"
"You don't worry about that, B, I got it all planned out. I'm gonna take care of you. But you gotta hurry and grab some stuff to take with you. Not much, just a couple of things, got it?"
"But we're just leaving everything, Mattie? What about my clothes and my drawing books and stuff?"
"B, that stuff don't matter where we're goin'. It's gonna be too much to carry, you can't bring it. Now, hurry up."
Bella sat up in bed and grabbed some clothes out of her drawer to change into. Once she was dressed, she grabbed a backpack and put her sketchbook and some pencils inside, along with some clothes. She turned her head to see Mattie pack a few of his belongings in his backpack as well. She saw him put their family photo in his pants pocket. That picture never left their presence; they always had it with them. Bella sat down on the floor and put her tennis shoes on before looking up at Mattie and watching him slip his jacket on.
"You ready, B?"
Bella nodded, a worried furrow in her brow as she stood up. "Mattie, are you sure we should leave?"
Mattie nodded with certainty. "Trust me, B, this is for the best."
"You ain't taking your guitar and violin?" She asked with surprise.
"Can't take 'em both and I can't pick between 'em." He told her with sadness and a shrug of his shoulders.
"Take the violin, it's smaller." She suggested.
"I can't pick, B, its better if I just leave 'em."
"That's stupid, you'll miss 'em if you don't take just one, Mattie."
"Just leave it, Bella, I made up my mind."
Bella rolled her eyes, but grabbed a hold of Mattie's hand, following him as they quietly snuck out of the house. They made it out and quickly ran down the street for several blocks to the nearest bus stop. Mattie pulled out some money from his pocket as they waited for the bus.
"Where did you get that, Mattie?" Bella asked with surprise.
"Took it from the Bedfords."
Bella's jaw dropped. "You stole it?"
"B, I had to. How else are we going to get out of here?"
"But Mattie, you know Mom and Dad wouldn't want us to steal."
"I know that, B, but we don't got a choice anymore and Mom and Dad ain't here."
Bella's eyes began to tear up, feeling them silently roll down her cheeks. She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes. Mattie put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry I said that, ok? But it's just you and me now, we got to take care of each other and you got to understand that we're going to have to steal for a while, until we can get our own money."
Bella nodded. "I never stole nothin' before, Mattie."
"I know, B, don't worry I'll do it so you don't have to. I promise I'll take care of you, ok? You're my little sister and it's my job to take care of you. Mom and Dad would want that."
"Ok, Mattie." She told him, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
A long time later, a bus finally came and they got on, paid their fare and sat down in two of the many empty seats on the bus. The bus driver looked at them skeptically, but didn't say anything. They looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief. Bella took a hold of Mattie's hand and held onto it tightly. She was scared to be doing this but she trusted her brother. He would never let anything bad happen to her.
When they got to the bus station, Mattie purchased two tickets for New York City. She heard him make up a story that the attendant seemed to have believed, handing him the tickets. Bella looked up at him and furrowed her brow. She didn't even know where that was and how long it would take to get there. She knew their Dad had traveled there a lot before, and Mattie had gone with him a few times, but Bella never had. Mattie led her to the seats so they could wait for their bus. She looked up at Mattie. "I'm scared, Mattie." She told him softly.
"I know, B. I got you, ok? Trust me and do what I tell you."
Bella nodded and leaned her head against his shoulder. She closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of the people around them, and the announcements being made as they called for the buses that were departing and arriving. Bella opened her eyes and saw a man sitting across from them, staring intently at her. He smiled, but it wasn't a friendly smile; it scared her. Bella averted her eyes, only to look back at him a moment later and noticed that he was still staring at her. She lifted her head and looked up at Mattie, he wasn't paying attention as he watched people walking about the bus station.
"Mattie, I want to go back." She whispered.
Mattie looked down at her and frowned. "B, we can't, it's too late now."
"That man keeps staring at me." She told him with fear in her voice. "I want to go back."
Mattie lifted his head to look at the man staring at her. He glared at him and placed his arm around her shoulders. "What are you staring at, you fucking pervert?" He asked the man. The man's sinister smile fell from his face before he got up and moved away from them, mumbling that he better watch his mouth or he could get hurt. Mattie loosened his grip around Bella and she looked up at him with relief.
"Thanks, Mattie."
"I told you I'd take care of you."
Bella nodded and laid her head back down on his shoulder. A moment later, she looked back up at him. "Mattie…you said the F-word."
Mattie glanced down at her and started laughing, causing her to smile up at him and giggle.
"It worked, didn't it?" He asked through his laughter.
Bella nodded as she giggled at him. Their laughter faded after a moment and Bella leaned against Mattie once more. After several minutes of silence between them, Mattie nudged her head with his shoulder. "Are you hungry, B? I got some change so we can get something out of the machine."
Bella looked up and nodded. They both went over to the vending machines located down a small isolated corridor in the corner of the bus station. Mattie got her a Pop Tart and chocolate milk. As she was trying to get her Pop Tart open, she felt someone grab her arm with force, pulling her toward him and down the corridor in the other direction from the station lobby. She screamed. "Mattie!"
Mattie turned around and rushed after the man that had been smiling at her. "Mattie, help!"
Bella kicked and screamed as loud as she could. She saw Mattie running after the man that was dragging her away with him. She screamed loudly and turned her head, biting the man's hand. He yelled out and let go of her arm. "Mattie!" She screamed, watching him run toward her as the man continued to pull her with him, holding tightly to her other arm. "Help!"
"Mattie, help me!" Bella screamed out into her bedroom. "Mattie!" She screamed once more. Bella sat up in bed and opened her eyes, looking around and slowly recognizing her surroundings. She began crying and startled when her bedroom door opened and Lisa came rushing in, sitting beside her on the bed.
"Bella, I'm here, Sweetie. It's ok, you're ok." She told Bella, pulling her into her arms.
Bella threw her arms around Lisa's neck and cried. Lisa pulled Bella onto her lap and hugged her tighter to her chest. "It's ok." She whispered in her ear. Bella took in a shaky breath and sniffed, letting out another cry, squeezing her eyes closed. Lisa continued to comfort her, soothing her and whispering that everything would be ok. It took several minutes for Bella to calm down as it usually did; her nightmare had seemed so real, like Mattie was right there with her. She opened her eyes and looked around her room, not seeing him. She started crying softly, the thought of Mattie never being there for her again, like he was back then, devastating her anew. She felt Lisa's arms hold on to her more tightly, whispering to her soothingly.
That night, in the bus station, Mattie had caught up with her and the man and kicked him right in the balls just before Mattie shoved him to the ground. Security had come running toward them to help her as the man lay on the ground curled up in the fetal position and groaning loudly. She and Mattie didn't wait for them, though. Mattie told her they had to go before they could ask where their parents were. Mattie had saved her that night and he had taken great care of her everyday since, until he had gotten killed. She missed him so much.
Bella pulled away from Lisa and laid her head on her shoulder, sniffling as she softly cried for her brother. "I miss him." She choked out into the silence of the room. "I miss him." She said once more as she cried.
"I know, baby. I'm so sorry he's not here with you." Lisa replied softly as she gently rocked her from side to side in her arms and placed a kiss on top of her head. Bella clung to Lisa as she cried, sad that her brother wasn't there anymore but that she had someone else there to protect her and take care of her; someone else that had saved her. Bella took in a shaky breath and squeezed her eyes shut before she reopened them and looked up at Lisa with blurry eyes. Lisa frowned, sympathizing with her as she gently wiped Bella's tears away with her fingers. Bella noticed that Lisa had been crying as well. Lisa gave her a reassuring smile and placed a kiss on her forehead.
Bella looked at her with sadness and she sighed softly. "I want to look at my stuff tomorrow." She told Lisa in a whisper.
Lisa looked surprised and slowly nodded her head. "Ok, Sweetheart." She answered as a small smile came to her lips.
"Will you stay with me?"
"Always." She replied, bringing a smile to Bella's face.
Bella lay down on her bed, scooting over so Lisa could lie next to her. She cuddled up to Lisa as she wound her arms around Bella's waist. Bella settled in, sighing peacefully, reassured that Lisa was there for her.
"Lisa." Bella whispered.
"Mmhm?"
"I love you. Thank you for saving my life." She told her.
Lisa shifted her body and looked down at Bella in surprise at her words, tears brimming on her eyelids. She nodded as a few tears spilled over and replied, "I love you too." She whispered with emotion in her voice.
Bella brought her arms around Lisa's waist and curled into her. As she lay there, she felt safe again and her eyes became heavy, sleep claiming her quickly.
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7:35 AM – Sunday
Cuddy woke up in Bella's bedroom for the second night in a row. Bella was curled up to her, snoring softly. She dipped her head and placed a soft kiss onto Bella's forehead. Bella shifted closer to Cuddy in her sleep and mumbled something unintelligible. Cuddy smiled down at her and brushed her fingers through Bella's hair. Cuddy had been expecting her nightmare last night so she hadn't been sleeping well in her own bed. House had been sleeping soundly until Bella screamed and they had both startled at the sound of it. Bella had sounded like she was being attacked in her dream and Cuddy had practically flown down the hallway and into her bedroom. House had peeked his head in on her as Cuddy comforted her, but didn't approach, letting Cuddy handle it. She had been screaming for Mattie last night and it broke Cuddy's heart at the desperation in her voice.
Cuddy sighed softly and shifted onto her back, the position she was laying in was beginning to hurt her neck. Bella mumbled softly once more and turned her body away from Cuddy, still sleeping soundly. Cuddy closed her eyes for a moment until she heard footsteps coming down the hallway. She opened her eyes and turned her head toward the door in time to see House peek his head in as he had done last night. Seeing that Cuddy was awake, he gently opened the door and stepped through it.
"How bad?" He asked in a whisper.
Cuddy sat up in bed, carefully swinging her legs over the side and standing up. As she made her way over to him, she nodded. "Bad." She responded.
House nodded in response. "You ok?"
"Yeah, I'm ok." She answered, stopping in front of him and looking into his eyes. "What are you doing up?"
He shrugged his right shoulder and hung his head. "Couldn't sleep." He responded simply.
The corner of her mouth lifted into a hint of a smile and she nodded, knowing there was more to that. "Why not?"
He glanced up, looking into her eyes. "Just couldn't."
She took a step closer to him. "You….were worried about Bella and when you saw I hadn't come back to bed, you knew she wasn't ok and you became more worried about her and you had to get up and check on us." She stated, smirking at him and winding her arms around his waist, tilting her head up to see his expression.
He narrowed his eyes and set his cane against the door jam, bringing his arms around her as a smirk appeared on his face. "Or, I just wanted morning sex."
She chuckled at him. "No, you didn't. If you had wanted morning sex you would've just said so…not get that cute frown in your forehead when you're worried about something."
He scowled. "Cute frown? How the hell is a frown cute?"
She shrugged. "It's your 'I'm-worried-but-I-don't-want-to-show-it-so-I'll-lie-about-what's-really-bothering-me' look. She told him, arching her eyebrows in amusement.
"That's a really long and completely untrue name for my facial expression."
Cuddy laughed softly, trying not to wake Bella. She leaned her head down and placed a kiss on his t-shirt clad chest, stroking her hands over his back. "I love that look…it shows you care, even if you don't say anything."
"What does this look say?" He asked, looking at her pointedly, boring his eyes into hers and arching one of his eyebrows.
"That…you're constipated?" She asked with amusement.
"Funny. No, that was my 'get-your-ass-back-in-bed-so-I-can-have-sex-with-you' look." He responded smartly.
She scowled at him and looked behind her to make sure Bella was still asleep. "Shhh, House. Don't say stuff like that in front of Bella, I don't want her hearing about….that." She told him.
House laughed and moved his hand down to her ass. "She's asleep, Cuddy."
"Well, you could've woken her up with your lack of whispering." She chided in a whisper.
He rolled his eyes and gave her butt a pinch, nodding toward the bedroom. "Come on." He whispered in an exaggerated tone. "Little Greg hasn't had any action in forever."
Cuddy laughed. "It hasn't been that long."
"A few days to us, is like years to Little Greg."
Cuddy rolled her eyes as she chuckled at him. House leaned down and whispered in her ear. "And besides, you said you'd make it up to me and you never did…you owe me."
"I owe you sex?" She asked, whispering to him as their faces were mere inches apart.
"Why are you pretending to be insulted when really you want it as much as I do?" He responded before his lips enticingly brushed over hers.
"Because I have to make you work for it." She said, flashing him a brilliant, sarcastic smile.
He narrowed his eyes. "Get your evil ass in bed so I can shag your brains out." He ordered in a whisper soft voice.
Cuddy chuckled and turned her head to glance at Bella, making sure she was still sleeping as soundly as she had been before. She felt House's lips on her neck as she had her head turned toward Bella, his hands moving to the small of her back pressing her into him as he tilted his pelvis. Cuddy smiled as he kissed her neck, turning her head back to him, his lips coming down on hers in an instant. After a moment, she pulled back from the kiss they were sharing and placed her hands on his chest, gently pushing him backward into the hallway and closing Bella's door.
He grinned down at her and pulled her close once more. "My cane is still in there."
"Get it later." She told him saucily. "How does a shower sound?" She asked, pulling his t-shirt up and exposing his abdomen to her just before pulling it up further and slipping it over his head. Cuddy turned them around in the hallway so she was walking backwards toward her bedroom with House following her closely, his hands having come down on her hips.
"Wet." He replied with an approving smile, dipping his head to kiss her.
She backed away from him so he couldn't reach her and pulled her tank top over her head with a smile on her face before turning around and walking into her bedroom, dropping their shirts on the bed and making her way into her master bathroom as he followed her, grinning like a fool.
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9:30 AM
House sat on the couch with his reading glasses on, looking over an article in the Journal of American Medical Association magazine when he caught a glimpse of Bella standing in the doorway of the living room. He lowered the magazine and looked over at her. She smiled sleepily at him, having just woken up.
"Hey, sleepyhead, how's it goin'?" He asked.
"Ok." Bella replied in a sleepy tone as she walked into the room and sat beside him, laying her head on his shoulder.
House's lips curved into a smile, glad that she didn't seem to be mad at him about yesterday. "You're not mad at me?" He asked curiously.
She looked up at him with confusion at first but realization set in and she shook her head. "No, you was just trying to help me."
He nodded with relief. "Did I?" He inquired softly.
Bella shrugged, lowering her gaze to her hands in her lap. "I don't know yet." She told him, her voice barely audible.
"Listen kid, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it first, I didn't mean to make you feel bad yesterday." He told her, lifting his arm she had been leaning on and gently placing it around her shoulders.
She tilted her head back, looking up at him with a small smile. "It's ok…I was mad but Lisa helped me understand why you did it. I think I'm ready to see my stuff today, but I don't know if I can look at Mattie's stuff yet." She told him.
House nodded, glad that she was able to take that first step. "It's at my place. I'll go get it when your Mom gets back."
She gave him a small nod. "Where is she?"
"She went to the grocery store."
"Oh."
"You hungry?" He asked.
Bella nodded. "Can I have a Pop Tart?"
"You don't need to ask, kid, just get it." He told her, playfully nudging her shoulder.
She smiled up at him, snickering softly. "Ok." She replied, standing up, before turning around, leaning over and winding her arms around his neck. She placed a kiss on his cheek. "I love you." She told him.
Surprised by her affection toward him, he gently wrapped his arms around her, returning her hug. "You too, kid." He responded softly, before seeing her release his neck and happily trotting out of the living room.
House furrowed his brow. He had never met a more affectionate kid in his life. She never missed a chance to let him know that she loved him and he wondered if that was a result of having lost her parents and her brother or if she had always been like that. He thought it was so strange because that wasn't the way he grew up. Sure, his mother would tell him that she loved him but she wasn't affectionate to that degree. She would hug him and kiss him on occasion but only because he'd allowed it. He didn't want his mother fussing over him all the time…it wasn't cool. And as for his father, he had zero affection for him. His father never hugged him, certainly never kissed him, and House couldn't remember him ever telling him that he loved him.
This kid was…strange. Not weird…just strange, because of how she allowed everyone to see how she was feeling. She wore her emotions on her sleeve and didn't give a damn what anyone thought about it. House was the opposite. Well, he didn't care what people thought about him except when it came to how he felt about something that really mattered to him. He had his emotions hidden well and it was a rare occasion when he allowed anyone to see them, and even then, he tried to hide them. He had been a miserable bastard for so long that that was all he knew. And he was pretty sure he could thank his father for that. But the way this kid was with him…hugging him, kissing him, and letting him know that she loved him, was making him feel like maybe he was worth more than his father ever gave him credit for. She was quickly and unexpectedly making him believe that maybe he could give this fatherhood thing a shot. She had lost a good father it seems, and he knew he could never live up to him or replace him by any means. But she seemed to want House in her life in that way and perhaps she knew something he didn't in that regard. She had so much faith in him and it scared the shit out of him. He still had his reservations in regard to being a father, but every day that passed would bring him closer to reconsidering how he felt about that issue. The other night he had even thought of her as his kid. But his biggest fear in this was that he would screw her up irreparably as his own father had done to him. She'd gone through so much pain in her life already and she would always carry that with her, so he couldn't bring himself to be the cause of any more pain in her life by filling the role she so desperately wanted him to and then not living up to what she had thought or expected of him. Cuddy had that same faith in him and she always has. He couldn't disappoint her either, when the inevitable happened, and he screwed up. He had been lucky so far in their relationship and hadn't messed up too badly…but there was still time for that. What if he did decide to be Bella's father and then something happened between he and Cuddy and they broke up? Wouldn't that be the same as losing a parent? He couldn't do that to Bella. He didn't want her losing another parent, even if it wasn't in death but in separation.
House shook his head and sighed, tossing the magazine he'd been reading down on the coffee table and placing his glasses on top of it. He stood up, deciding he'd go pour himself another cup of coffee and ask the kid if she wanted to go outside for a while and play. The clouds were moving in and it looked like rain, so he thought she might want to go play while she could. Cuddy would be back any moment and when she returned he'd call Wilson to help him bring over Bella's boxes. Today was going to be another rough day for Bella when he returned with them; she deserved to at least have fun part of the day today.
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1:27 PM
Bella was outside, sitting under her climbing tree, drawing and waiting for Greg and James to return with her boxes from her old life. They had been gone for a while and she wondered what was taking them so long. After Lisa got back from the grocery store, she had helped her put everything away and Greg had told Lisa what he planned to do. She had readily agreed since Bella had told her this was what she wanted but Lisa had still turned to her, asking Bella if she was sure she was ready for this. Bella assured her that she was, at least she had told herself that she was. Looking through her own belongings would be hard enough, so she had told them she only wanted to see her boxes. Greg had suggested they bring everything and store Mattie's stuff in the basement until she was ready to look through them. She had been reluctant to agree to that because knowing that his stuff would be in the same house as her would be hard. Greg didn't push it though, seeing her discomfort at his suggestion and reassured her he'd leave them at his place until she was ready. Bella had breathed a sigh of relief and nodded in thanks.
Now, as she sat there waiting nervously and attempting to draw the dandelion in front of her but having trouble concentrating, she tried to remember what she had in those boxes. Bella knew she had some drawing books, materials and sketchpads, as well as some clothes, but other than that she couldn't recall what else was in there. None of that stuff was important to her anymore, with the exception of her drawings; those she would like to have. She knew the clothes wouldn't fit her anymore and even if they did, she wouldn't want them.
Bella heard the back door open, glancing up to see Lisa coming outside. This was it. Greg and James were here with her boxes. She took in a deep breath, exhaling through her nose and watched as Lisa approached her.
"They're here?" Bella asked.
Lisa nodded. "Yeah." She replied softly. "Are you sure, Bella?" She asked once more.
Bella nodded, standing to her feet and hugging her sketchbook to her chest as if it would provide her with the strength she needed right now.
Lisa nodded as well. "Ok." She said softly, holding out her hand for Bella to take. "The boxes are in your room already."
"Ok." Bella responded, taking Lisa's hand in hers and following her inside. Bella held on to Lisa's hand tightly as she made her way to her bedroom. Bella took in another deep breath, blinking her eyes, and watching everything as if it were moving in slow motion. She couldn't believe this was happening. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she had seen this stuff. It wasn't a part of her life anymore…the new life that she had now with Lisa and Greg.
As they walked through the dining room, she saw Greg and James standing in the foyer watching her approach them. She tried to smile, but she wasn't sure it actually reached her lips. She shifted her eyes to Greg, who was watching her with his head slightly lowered and holding tightly to his cane, nodding his head at her. James looked at her with compassion and empathy, giving her a small smile and a wink of encouragement. They both made her feel better, and she turned the corner into the hallway with Lisa by her side, squaring her shoulders and taking in another deep breath, calming her nerves. Lisa stopped outside her bedroom just before they entered and looked down at her. Bella could see the boxes out of the corner of her eye, but she kept her attention on Lisa.
"I'm here for you…but if you'd rather be alone I-."
"No." Bella quickly replied. "I don't want to be by myself, I want you to be with me."
Lisa nodded. "Alright." She responded softly, leading Bella inside.
Bella turned her head, finally laying her eyes on the boxes that she hadn't seen in almost two years. Bella's grip on Lisa's hand tightened and she stopped her forward movement into her room, causing Lisa to turn around. Bella stared at the boxes, her name written on the sides. They looked slightly different, dirtier and slightly water stained, but they were still the same boxes. They were sitting on top of a sheet, no doubt so they wouldn't ruin the floors in Bella's room. Bella felt Lisa gently take her sketchbook out of her hand and set it on top of her dresser, as she continued to stare at them. Lisa then brushed a strand of Bella's hair behind her ear and leaned down to speak softly to her. "Take your time, Sweetie, it's ok."
Bella nodded, blinking slowly after staring at the boxes for too long. She kept her eyes on the boxes though, a slight furrow forming in her brow. "The last time I seen this stuff…Mattie was alive." She told Lisa softly.
"I know." Lisa whispered. "You don't have to do this today, Sweetheart. If this is too much for you, we can take them downstairs to the basement."
Lisa's gentle words brought tears to Bella's eyes, a few slipping down her cheeks. Bella shook her head. "I want to look, but…"
"Take your time." She repeated softly. "We can stand here all day if that's what you need to do."
Bella nodded, reaching up and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, sniffling softly. After another moment, she took a small step forward, still gripping Lisa's hand tightly. Bella felt Lisa let go of her hand only to replace it with her other hand and gently put her arm around Bella's shoulders. Bella's free hand grabbed onto Lisa's arm that had come around her shoulders, holding on for dear life as if she would fall if she didn't. She took another step and another and another, until she was standing directly in front of them. Bella slowly let go of Lisa's arm and sank down to the floor onto her knees with Lisa following. She ran her fingers over the lid of one of the boxes. Bella gripped one of the flaps and yanked it open. The other three flaps on the cardboard box came open as well, revealing what was inside. Her clothes. Instead of tears coming to her eyes, her lips curved into a small smile. Most of the clothes she used to wear were in this box. Bella released Lisa's other hand and began slowly sifting through the clothes. There were several pairs of jeans, t-shirts, skirts, dresses, pajamas, socks, underwear, and a few of her shoes as well. She looked up at Lisa and grinned. "These were my clothes." She told her unnecessarily.
Lisa smiled at her and nodded. "How do you feel about seeing them again?" She asked softly.
Bella shrugged. "Not like I thought I would." She replied as she turned her head and continued to look through them. "I thought I'd be sad, but I'm not."
Lisa stroked Bella's back. "I'm glad." She told her.
Bella nodded in agreement. "Me too." She replied, pulling a shirt out of the box. "I used to hate this shirt…and I think I still do." She commented, scrunching her face at it and throwing it back in the box and picking up another item of clothing.
Lisa laughed and leaned over to place a kiss on her cheek. "I'm so glad your ok, Sweetie. I was so worried about you." She told her in a relieved tone.
Bella looked up at her gratefully. "Thanks for bein' here with me."
"You're welcome." She whispered with a smile.
Bella smiled and turned her head to continue looking through the box. After a moment, she heard a throat clearing behind her and she turned her head, seeing James and Greg standing in the doorway of her bedroom. She grinned at them. "Look, my old clothes." She said.
"Mind if we come in?" James asked.
Bella shook her head, indicating that she didn't mind at all. She turned back around, focusing on the box once more and heard them enter her bedroom. Lisa still sat beside her on the floor and James came over to sit down on her bed as Greg pulled the seat to her vanity over next to Lisa and sat down. Bella pulled out some more of her clothes, having forgotten that she had owned most of them at one time in her life. She still didn't want to keep them, but she was having fun looking through them. She pulled out a pair of pants with paint stains all over them and the word 'Loser' painted on big letters on one of the legs. She gaped at them and looked over at Lisa, holding them up so she could see it. "Mattie did that." She told her. "I forgot about these." Bella looked down at them once more. "I was so mad when he did that." She continued, remembering when she first found them this way. She shrugged. "I got him back though." She replied.
"What'd you do?" Greg asked.
Bella turned around with a small smile. "I wrote 'buttface' with a Sharpie on his guitar."
Greg, Lisa and James laughed at that and Greg held his fist out to her for a fist-bump. "That's my girl." He replied.
She obliged, bumping his fist with hers and giggling. A moment later she frowned. "I think I got grounded for that, though."
"And he didn't?" Greg asked her.
She shrugged. "Not as long as me…he just wrote on my already stained jeans…I wrote on his guitar that he'd saved up money for." She told him. "But he never did nothing like that again."
They laughed once more at her tale of sibling rivalry.
"Taught him not to mess with you, huh?" Greg replied. "Good work, sista."
Bella giggled again. She didn't feel weird talking about Mattie with them like this. It actually made her feel better. She would definitely be keeping these jeans, though. Bella set them aside and looked up at Lisa. "I want to look through that one now." She told her, pointing at the box next to her.
Lisa nodded and slid it over to her as Greg reached over and slid the open box out of the way. Before she could open the next box, she heard James speak up. "Bella, is it ok that we're in here for this?"
She looked up at him, nodding with assurance that she was fine with it. Bella flipped open the lid and looked inside. Her eyes immediately fell on the jewelry box within. She gasped, her eyes wide in shock, having forgotten all about it. She practically dove in and grabbed hold of it, pulling it out of the box. It was dusty so she wiped it with her hand and blew the dust away, staring at it intently.
"Are you ok, Sweetie?" Lisa asked softly, rubbing her hand over Bella's back soothingly.
Bella nodded, but kept her eyes on the jewelry box. How could she have forgotten about this? She ran her hand gently over the top of the box. "This was my Mom's." She said softly, unable to take her eyes off of it. "My Dad got it for her for Christmas one year."
"Does it play music?" James asked.
She opened her mouth to answer, but Greg beat her to it.
"She was deaf, you moron, of course it doesn't play music." Well, Bella wasn't going to put it like that, but Greg was right, it didn't play music.
"House." Lisa admonished.
"What? It's true." He responded in his defense.
"Right…sorry." James replied, shaking his head at his idiocy.
Bella gave him a half smile and chuckled. "It's ok."
Bella moved to sit down in Lisa's lap, holding the box securely with both hands. Lisa wrapped her arms around Bella's waist, helping her adjust her position on her lap. Lisa placed a kiss to her temple and brushed her hair away from her face as Bella continued to stare at it. After a moment, and with shaky hands, she gently lifted the lid. Inside she saw her Mom's jewelry. Most of it wasn't even real except for a few pieces. One of them was a pearl necklace that her Dad had given her Mom for their anniversary one year. It had been one of her favorite pieces of jewelry that her Dad had given her throughout the years. Next, she spotted a small plastic ziplock bag with her parent's wedding bands that had been taken from them when they died and given to her and Mattie. Bella set the jewelry box down on the floor in front of her and reached for it, opening the bag and flipping it over, dropping them into her hand. She gently ran her finger over them, picking up her Dad's wedding band with her thumb and forefinger. There was an engraving on the inside that read: 'With All My Love'. Next, Bella picked up her Mom's wedding and engagement bands. Within the wedding band, the inscription read: 'I Am Yours'.
Bella's bottom lip began to quiver and her eyes became watery with tears as she closed her hand around the bands, holding onto them tightly. Unable to hold in her emotions any longer, a sob of grief escaped her lips and her shoulders began to shake as she cried.
"Oh honey." Lisa whispered sadly, tightening her arms around her, quietly soothing her. "Cry, Sweetie, cry as much as you need to for them." She whispered in Bella's ear.
Bella turned around in Lisa's arms and threw her arms around her neck, laying her head on her shoulder, still gripping her parent's rings in her hand as tightly as she could. She sobbed in her arms as Lisa gently rocked her from side to side. As Bella cried, she momentarily felt a hand on her head, fingers brushing through her hair very gently and lovingly. She had no idea whose hands they were, she assumed they were Lisa's, but they were soothing and comforting; and then they were gone.
Bella's cries turned into hiccups and soft whimpers after several minutes of sobbing uncontrollably, grieving for her dead parents. She lifted her head and opened her eyes, looking around the room and noticing that Greg and James were no longer there. She took in a shaky breath and laid her head back down on Lisa's shoulder. Lisa gently stroked her back, continuing to comfort her and placed a kiss on her forehead. After a few more minutes, Bella removed her arms from around Lisa's neck and leaned back on her lap, opening her hand to reveal the rings once more. She stared at them for a moment before she spoke softly. "I miss them."
Lisa nodded and stroked her hands over Bella's back. "I know. I'm sorry you lost them, Sweetie." She replied.
Bella nodded.
"They're beautiful." Lisa commented, indicating the rings in Bella's hand with a small nod.
"Yeah." Bella replied. "What should I do with them?" She asked after a moment.
"I don't know, what do you want to do?"
"Keep 'em someplace safe so they don't get lost."
"We can have them cleaned and get some ring boxes to put them in and keep them safe." She suggested.
"I don't want to get 'em cleaned, I want 'em to be just like this cuz the last place they was, was around their fingers. I don't care that they're dirty." Bella told her in a small voice as she ran her finger over all three rings. "But I like the idea to put 'em in a ring box."
Lisa nodded. "Ok, then that's what we'll do."
Bella shifted around to pick up the jewelry box once more, and gently placed the rings within. She sniffed, sweeping her hand across her eyes and wiping the remaining tears away. Bella looked at Lisa's shirt, it was soaked with Bella's tears. "I got your shirt all wet." She mumbled.
Lisa looked down at her shirt and gave Bella a smile. "It's ok." She told her softly, sweeping Bella's hair out of her eyes. "It'll dry."
Bella nodded and looked down at the jewelry box once more, her eyes shifting to different sets of jewelry lying inside of it; earrings, bracelets, rings, necklaces. Bella's eyes fell on a necklace with an oval-shaped locket on it. Bella reached for it and gently opened it. There were two pictures inside: one of her as a baby and one of Mattie as a baby. She smiled and looked up at Lisa, showing it to her. "Look."
Lisa glanced down at the locket Bella held on her hands, her lips slowly forming into a smile. "Oh my god, is that you?"
Bella nodded, pointing at the picture of her. "That one is me and that is one Mattie."
"Oh Bella, you were such a beautiful baby." She told her, a brilliant smile overtaking her entire face. "You both were." She added, gently running her finger over the small pictures.
Bella smiled at how much Lisa liked the photos of her and Mattie. "Thanks." She responded shyly. "Will you put it on me?" She asked, holding it up and handing it to Lisa.
"Sure."
Lisa took the necklace and gently placed it around Bella's neck and clasped it. Bella grinned happily and placed her hand over it as it hung low on her chest.
"It looks good on you." Lisa told her.
Bella smiled up at her. "It does?"
She nodded in response. "It's beautiful."
"Can I wear it to school?"
"You can wear it anywhere you like, but take good care of it, ok?"
"I will. I won't let nothing happen to it." She told Lisa with a shake of her head.
Lisa smiled and winked at her. "I know you won't."
Bella sighed and set the jewelry box down on the floor next to the jeans she had set aside earlier. She looked up at Lisa once more. "I don't want to keep none of my clothes."
She frowned. "Are you sure, Sweetie?"
Bella nodded. "Yeah, they don't fit and even if they did, I don't want to remember my old life every time I wear 'em."
"That makes sense. Ok, Sweetie, we can donate them. I bet there's a little girl out there who could benefit from having them."
Bella agreed. "A little girl who don't have a Mom and Dad to take care of her no more like I didn't for awhile."
"That's right."
"Ok, that sounds like a good idea."
"What about the rest of it?" Lisa asked, combing her fingers through Bella's hair.
"I don't know, I guess I'll finish looking through it first." Bella replied, moving off of Lisa's lap and kneeling in front of the second box. Peering inside, she noticed that most of it was toys and stuff that she didn't really want anymore. However, there were some books that she wanted to keep; they were the books that her Mom and Dad used to read to her before bed. She had also found a doll that her Dad had given her for her 4th birthday. Bella took them out and set them aside with the jewelry box and jeans, making herself a pile of the stuff she would hang on to. When Bella finished with that box, she moved on to the third. This was the box that had her art supplies and paintings in it. There were sketchbooks, artist's pencils and paintbrushes, paints as well as the canvases that she'd painted, and 'How To' books on drawing and painting. This box she would keep, but the rest she informed Lisa that she wanted to get rid of them. They could donate the toys just like they would the clothes.
"Are you sure you don't want your toys, Bella? We can store them in the basement in case you decide there's something you want to keep later." Lisa replied.
"Yeah, I'm sure. I won't ever play with 'em." She said with a shrug of her shoulders. "I ain't that little girl no more." She stated somberly.
Lisa looked at her with a sad expression and nodded her head. "Ok." She replied softly.
Bella closed up the two boxes she was going to get rid of and Lisa helped her move them out of the middle of her room, into the corner so they could be taken away later. She went over to the third box with her paintings and sketchbooks and began removing them and laying them across her bed, displaying them. She remembered painting most of the canvases and thought it would be cool to hang them in her room. As she looked down at them, she remembered her conversation with Greg this morning about if having her stuff would help her or not. Yesterday when Lisa had first told her about them, she didn't see any reason to look through them and be reminded of her past, but now she could honestly tell Greg that he had helped her by bringing her these things from her old life. She felt like she could talk about her parents with some happiness and remember them fondly instead of remembering what she'd lost. And talking about Mattie with fond memories of the stuff they used to do to each other helped her remember him with happiness as well. She still thought it would be too hard for her to look through Mattie's boxes right now, but maybe someday soon. Maybe she'd be able to look through his stuff and have the fond memories outshine the horrible ones she had come to know so well. Maybe there was hope that she'd get through this after all.
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