Yall have been doing a totally supercalafagalicticwhatverlongsuperlativewordforbasicallykeepupthegoodwork. You give me life. And as a little gift for being just so awesome, here's another chapter.

Sure enough, Ares is waiting for us on the beach.

"Hey, kid." He says, seeming genuinely pleased to see us. "You were supposed to die."

"You tricked me," Percy says. "You stole the helm and the master bolt."

Ares grins. "Well, now, I didn't steal them personally. Gods taking each other's symbols of power—that's a big no-no. But you're not the only hero in the world who can run errands."

"Who did you use? Clarisse? She was there at the winter solstice." Percy says.

"Luke *cough*cough*" I say.

"Doesn't matter." Ares says. "The point is, kid, you're impeding the war effort."

"Oh god. He's monologuing." I moan.

"See you've got to die in the Underworld. Then Old Seaweed will be mad at Hades for killing you. Corpse Breath will have Zeus's master bolt, so Zeus'll be made at him. And Hades is still looking for this…"

From his pocket he takes out a ski cap—the kind bank robbers wear—and placed it between the handlebars of his bike. Immediately, the cap transforms into an elaborate bronze war helmet. Hmm…I reach into my pocket and fish around for the item I'm looking for.

"The helm of darkness." Grover gasps. Ares looks at Grover. Now's my chance.

"Exactly," Ares says. "Now where was I? Oh yeah, Hades will be mad at both Zeus and Poseidon, because he doesn't know who took this. Pretty soon, we got a nice little three-way slugfest going." Grover notices me disappear. I think he knows my plan.

"But they're your family!" Grover says to keep Ares attention. It works. Ares is still distracted. I sneak towards my target.

"Best kind of war. Always the bloodiest. Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always."

"You gave me the backpack in Denver," Percy says. "The master bolt was in there the whole time."

"Yes and no," Ares says. "It's probably too complicated for little mortal brain to follow, but the backpack is the master bolt's sheath, just morphed a bit. The bolt is connected to it, sort of like that sword you got, kid. It always returns to your, right?"

My hand curls around the helm of darkness.

"Anway," Ares continues, "I tinkered with the magic a bit, so the bolt would only return to the sheath once you reached the Underworld. You get close to Hades…Bingo, you got mail. If you died along the way—no loss. I still had the weapon.

"But why not just keep the master bolt for yourself?" Percy says. He catches onto my plan too. "Why send it to Hades?"

Ares gets a twitch in his jaw. For a moment, it is almost as if he is listening to another voice, deep inside his head. Hmm. I wonder who that could be. "Why didn't I…yeah…with that kind of firepower…" Then his face clears.

"I didn't want the trouble. Better to have you caught redhanded, holding the thing."

"You're lying." Percy says. "Sending the bolt to the Underworld wasn't your idea, was it?"

"Of course it was!" Smoke drifts up from his sunglasses as if they were about to catch fire.

"You didn't order the theft," Percy guesses. "Someone else sent a hero to steal the two items. Then, when Zeus sent you to hunt him down, you caught the thief. But you didn't turn him over to Zeus. Something convinced you to let him go. You kept the items until another hero could come along and complete the delivery. That thing in the pit is ordering you around."

"I am the god of war! I take orders from no one! I don't have dreams!"

Percy hesitates. "Who said anything about dreams?"

Ares looks agitated. Then he looks around.

"Where did the chick go?" He asks. He turns to discover the helm of darkness is gone. I take off the Yankee baseball cap and reappear next to Percy and Grover.

"Looking for this?" I ask, taunting him with the helm of darkness. "And this 'chick' has a name and does not like to be referred to as 'chick'." Fire flashes across Ares's face.

"I'm going to have fun pulverizing you punks." He says. He snaps his fingers. The sand explodes at his feet and out charges a wild boar. Percy steps into the surf.

"Fight me yourself, Ares."

Ares laughs, but there a little edge to his laughter.

"You've only got one talent, kid, running away. You ran from the Chimera."

"Actually, we took care of the Chimera." I point out, but I'm ignored as usual.

"You ran form the Underworld. You don't have what it takes."

"Scared?"

"In your adolescent dreams. No direct involvement. Sorry, kid. You're not at my level."

The boar charges at Percy.

He uncaps his pen and sidesteps. Riptide appears in his hands. He slashes upwards. The boar's severed right tusk falls to the sand, while the disoriented animal charges into the sea.

"Wave!" Percy shouts. Immediately, a wave surges up from nowhere and engulfs the boar, wrapping around it like a blanket.

"It's a pig in a blanket." I joke. The beast squeals once in terror. Then it's gone, swallowed by the sea. Damn. Percy turns back to Ares.

"Are you going to fight me now? Or are you going to hide behind another pet pig?"

"How would you like to get smashed: classic or modern?" Ares asks. Percy shows him his sword. "That's cool, dead boy. Classic it is."

The baseball bat changes into a huge, two-handed sword. The hilt is a large silver skull with a ruby in its mouth. Ares cleaves downward at Percy's head, but he's gone. He catapults over him, slashes as he comes down. But Ares is just as quick. He twists and the strike that should've caught him directly in the spine is deflected off the end of his sword hilt. He grins.

"Not bad, not bad." He slashes again and Percy is forced to jump onto dry land. I want to help, but I know that this is Percy's fight. I've seen him do a lot over the past few days, and I know he's capable of handling this. He tries to sidestep, to get back to the water, but Ares knows what he's trying to do. Then Percy steps inside with a thrust, but Ares is waiting for this. He knocks his blade out of his hands and hicks him in the chest. He goes flying—twenty, maybe thirty feet. Then I notice the police have arrived.

"Percy! The cops!" I yell. I don't know if he hears me. He's too busy rolling to one side as Ares's blade slashes the sand. Percy runs for his sword, scoops it up, and launches another swipe at Ares's face, only to find the blade deflected again. Ares seems to know exactly what he's going to do the moment before he does it.

Percy steps back toward the surf, forcing him to follow. I think I understand what he's trying to do. I hope it works.

"Admit it, kid," Ares says. "You got no hope. I'm just toying with you."

Percy steps farther into the water, but Ares was fast. The tip of his blade rips Percy's sleeve and grazes his forearm.

A police voice on a megaphone says, "Drop the guns! Set them on the ground. Now!"

'This is a private matter!" Ares bellows. "Be gone!"

He sweeps his hand, and a wall of red flame rolls across the patrol cars. The police barely have time to dive for cover before their vehicles explode. The crowd that has gathered behind them scatters, screaming.

Ares roars with laughter. "Now, little hero. Let's add you to the barbecue."

He slashes. Percy deflects the blade. He gets close enough to strike, tries to fake him out with a feint, but the blow is knocked aside. The waves are hitting him in the back now. Ares is up to this thighs, wading in after Percy. I'm anxiously biting my lip. I notice the waves seem to retreat. Percy lowers his blade, as if he's too exhausted to go on. Please be faking, please be faking.

Ares raises his sword. Suddenly, the tide comes shooting out, splashing over Ares. Percy jumps onto a wave and rockets straight past Ares. He's disoriented now. Percy feints toward his head, like before. Now he wasn't anticipating it though. Percy changes direction, lunges to the side, and stabs Riptide straight down into the water, sending the point through the god's heel.

Ares lets out a deafening roar. I cover my ears. My body is actually pushed back by the animalistic noise. Ichor, the golden blood of the gods, flows from a gash in the war god's boots. The expression on his face is beyond hatred. It is pain, shock, complete disbelief that he'd been wounded.

He limps toward Percy, muttering ancient Greek curses. I get ready to join the fight, deciding I couldn't let Percy die. Then he stops. Or rather, something stops him. He lowers his sword.

"You have made an enemy, godling," He tells Percy. "You have sealed your fate. Every time you raise your blade in battle, every time you hope for success, you will feel my curse. Beware, Perseus Jackson. Beware." His body begins to glow.

"Percy!" I shout. "Don't watch!"

Percy turns away, and I shield my eyes. The lights dies. Ares is gone. Percy walks over to Grover and myself. I hand him the helm of darkness.

"That was wickedly badass." I say.

I hear the flapping of leathery wings. Three Nutella-covered evil-looking grandmother with lace hats and fiery whips drift down from the sky and land in front of us.

"We saw the whole thing," The one in the middle hisses. "So…it truly was not you?"

Percy tosses her the helmet, which she catches in surprise.

"Return that to Lord Hades," He says. "Tell him the truth. Tell him to call off the war."

She hesitates, then runs a forked tongue over her green, leathery lips that are still covered in Nutella. "Live well, Percy Jackson. Become a true hero. Because if you do not, if you ever come into my clutches again…" She cackles. Then she turns to me.

"Do you have any more of that…what was it?"

"Nutella? No. But you can get it by the pound at Costco." I tell her. She smiles happily before flying off with her two sister.

"We have to get back to New York." Percy says. "By tonight."

"Are you suggesting…?" I ask. Percy nods.

"Fly. Like an airplane?" I verify. Percy nods again. "This'll be fun."

I don't want to describe the "fun" experience that is that horrible plane flight to New York. I never want to see another salted peanut in my life. *shudder* I'd much rather have flown with my wings, but we'd have never gotten to New York in time.

Yet the worst part of the entire ordeal is seeing the Empire State Building again. I'm inundated with painful memories and guilt. I shut the window blinds and stuff my face into a Skymall© and wait for it to end. Relief washes through me when I can finally step on solid ground again.

"Now we get a taxi to the Empire State Building." I say.

"I think you and Grover should go back to camp to tell Chiron what happened." Percy says.

"But Percy, how can we leave you after all that's happened?" Grover asks.

"I'll be okay Grover. But someone needs to let Chiron know what happened to us and who was really behind the theft." Percy explains. Grover nods, but looks upset. I bit my lip. I feel guilty letting Percy go by himself, but deep down I don't think I'm capable of going to the Empire State Building. Plus, I think after my little "outburst" at the waterpark it'd be brash to visit the gods.

"If that's what you want, Percy." I agree. "We'll let Chiron know you're okay and you have the bolt…But Percy before you go…"

"Yeah?"

"I wanted to thank you. Back when we were in the Underworld, you had no reason to trust me. You could have easily left me there and taken yourself and Grover home, and honestly, I would have totally understood…but you didn't. So thank you."

"You've had my back this entire quest. You'll always have my trust." Percy says with a genuine smile. I bite my lip.

"I hope you still feel that way when I'm done…I owe you an explanation." I brace myself. "I'm not Annabeth. Ever since that one night when I was found unconscious with a wound on my arm I haven't been…This is hard to explain but where I'm from this is all a story. A story in a book. And I'm still not quite sure how it happened but I got trapped in here and I can't get out and all I can do is pretend as if I'm someone I'm not and I probably should have told you when I first met you but I knew you would never believe me because, I'll be honest, this sounds crazy, because it is crazy! But you have to believe me because it's true."

Okay…so not my finest moment. I got a little excited I suppose. I stare at Percy and Grover trying to gauge what their thinking. Percy scrunches his brow for a moment. I tense in anticipation. Oh god. What if they tell the gods? What if they smite me? I'm regretting making that heated speech about how shitty the gods are at ruling. At least I'll go out with a bang, ey?

Suddenly, Percy's expression changes. His face relaxes and he laughs. He actually laughs. I frown. I think this is worse.

"Annabeth, or whoever you are, I have no idea what you just said…but I meant what I said before. You'll always have my trust, and you still do."

"I don't care who you are, I'd trust you with my life." Grover agrees.

"…You have literally zero reasons to trust me." I say. Then I remember who I'm talking to. This is Percy Jackson, the kid who would trust their life savings with the hobo on the street if he smiled at him nicely. He's also the kid that trusts Luke, and (having actually read this series for once) that basically stopped the apocalypse. So I relent. I give both him and Grover tight hugs. It's probable I'll be jumping to the next book soon and I won't see them again…ever. Tears start to well up in my eyes.

"Grover, I think I might be allergic to you." I joke when I pull back. I wipe a tear from my eye.

"I'll see you when I get back to camp." Percy says.

"And who knows?" Percy says. "Maybe Chiron knows a way to get you home!"

I nod, and quickly turn away before I completely break down. With that, Grover and I start back to camp.

"Grover! Annabeth! I'm so relieved to see you!" Chiron greets us on the hill at Camp Half-Blood. "Where's Percy? Is he alright?"

"He's giving the bolt back to Zeus as we speak." Grover explains.

"You did it. I'm so proud of you all." Chiron says, smiling ear to ear. I can only manage a small twitch at the lips.

"I should probably go put my stuff away." I say, making an excuse to get some alone time. The camp seems eerily empty. As if it became a ghost town while we were gone. Everyone must be playing capture the flag in the woods. I knock on the Athena cabin's door. No one opens it. I go in and collapse on Annabeth's bed.

"Tired?" A voice asks. "I suppose you are entitled after the past few days you've had. Retrieving bolts, killing monsters, stopping wars…" I sit up and rub my temples.

"I knew this was too easy." I say out loud. The blonde teenager lounging on one of the other beds in front of me laughs. For a second I think its Luke, but I don't know this kid. "Are you one of the Hermes kids?"

"Hahaha." The teenager laughs harder. "I am Hermes."

My jaw drops.

"I-um, I was really angry when I said all those things about the Olympians. I wasn't thinking (although that doesn't mean I'm wrong)…At least smite me quickly, okay?" I beg. Hermes just keeps smiling.

"I'm not here to smite you. I actually enjoyed your outburst." He says. Then he stops and just looks at me. It feels like he's examining me. I'm feeling very uncomfortable.

"Then why are you here?" I ask.

"I think the better question is why are you here?" He asks me, his smile completely gone. I nearly choke, even though I'm not drinking anything.

"I'm a daughter of Athena, and this is the Athena cabin." I say. I involuntarily check outside the window for the other campers. No sign of anyone. I look back at Hermes and silence permeates the room. Hermes finally talks.

"You're not a daughter of Athena, and you're not Annabeth. Perhaps none of the other Olympians could see this, not even your mother, but I noticed as soon as you woke up in the infirmary something was off. And my suspicions were confirmed after you confessed to your friends…I've been looking out for more of your kind. I've seen you before. But I want to know what you are and what you're doing here." Hermes explains. I purse my lips.

"Promise you won't smite me?" I ask.

"I promise. I don't like smiting people. That's more Zeus's style. And I didn't catch your real name." He says. I look down.

"I don't remember it." I say. Hermes slowly nods his head, thinking about this.

"Alright. I'm not Annabeth. I'm just a normal person. It's kind of a long story, but you're in a book. This entire world is a story from a book. And I got stuck in that book. Everyone thinks I'm Annabeth, so I have no choice but to become Annabeth. I don't want to mess everything up, that just sort of…accidentally happens." I finish. Hermes ponders this.

"A book you say? Interesting." Hermes says.

"Does this mean you'll let me live?" I ask.

"Better. I'm going to help you get out."

"W-wwwaaaaaaaaait. What."

"I am the god of travel. I go to the Underworld on a regular basis, and can transverse realms. I should be able to get you out of our world and back into yours." Hermes offers. My mouth falls to the floor. "There's a war coming, and we can't have you twisting fate."

"Oh my god."

"Gods"

"Right, uh, sorry. Oh my gods. Thank you. Thank you! You have no idea what this would mean to me! And wait until I tell Nemooooo wait a second…" I trail off. This is my opportunity to get out and return home. Nemo still hasn't shown up yet. I can't leave him, but how long will it be until I get home? For all I know time could pass differently in the Library. I could have been here for months, years, decades even! A few more weeks could make a huge difference…but Nemo.

"Why have you gone quiet?" Hermes asks.

"My friend, Nemo, is also here with me. He disappeared a few days ago and I haven't seen him since. I'm more than a little worried. I…I can't abandon him here." I say. Hermes looks dejected.

"Very well. If that's what you truly want. But the offer remains if you ever change your mind."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." I say. It looks like Hermes is still thinking about something.

"Is there something else that worrying you besides your friend missing? Is there some reason he would be in danger?" He asks. I sigh.

"Yeah. There are these "Editor" people who stop people like Nemo and I. I'm worried they may have gotten Nemo."

"What do the Editors look like?"

"They wear these stereotypical white armor suit things that you'd find in a Sci-Fi movie."

"Like the suits of the men talking to Chiron right now?" Hermes says.

"What?!" I ask. I rush to the window, and sure enough, there they are.

"Shiiiiiiit." I moan. "I'll have to jump."

"Jump?"

"Yeah. Jump to the next story. It's how we escape the Editors. Hermes, can you do me a favor? How good are you are distractions?"

"I'll try my best."

"Thank you. You're officially my favorite god." I say. I suddenly feel bad for treating Luke, Hermes's son, so poorly. "And for the record, Luke is really cool. You've done a good job."

Hermes smiles genuinely and proudly. It breaks my heart how much he cares for Luke and how broken their relationship is. My remark doesn't remedy how I treated him. Yet another reason why I'm a horrible person. Please forgive me Rue, for the thousandth time. Then the Editors start to pound furiously on the door to the cabin.

"That's my queue." I say. I close my eyes, reach for the closet door, and turn the knob. I take a step forward into the scary unknown. I hear yelling and then silence from behind me. When I open my eyes, the cabin and Hermes are gone.

I'm sitting in a car. A ratchet old truck.

"Ew." I climb out. I'm in a parking lot, it looks like the parking lot of a school. Sure enough I see a sign over the building, Forks High School.

"Forks? That's a stupid name for a town." I say out loud. I've never heard of any town named after a utensil before. I head towards the school because that seems like a good place to get answers.

"Happy Birthday Bella!" A jovial voice cheers. I turn to see a girl and a boy standing next to a polished silver Volvo. They both have the same pale skin, their eyes have a strange golden tint and they were both startlingly beautiful. As the sun peeks out from behind a cloud, I swear I can see them start to glitter. You heard me. Glitter.

Wait a second. GLITTTER? BELLA? OH GOD NOOOOO.

Before I can stop myself, I start screaming hysterically. I turn and run back to the truck. The piece of junk finally turns on. I slam my foot on the gas pedal and race out of the parking lot.

About three things I am absolutely positive. First, Edward is a vampire. Second, I absolutely hate Twilight with all my soul and everything that its stand for and would rather die a slow painful horrible death than have to endure this book. And third, I am unconditionally and irrevocably convinced that I need to get out of here asap.

Who's ready for twilllliiiiiiiiight?

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