Warning for fire, mental health issues, child trauma,past kidnapping, implied racism and ptsd.

Chapter Thirty-Five: The Person in the Window

As I walked back towards the Tamer Home, everything was on twelve except me. I was on a one, at best. It was a miracle I didn't walk into someone and burst into tears. Can't do that. I have an image to keep up.

Around me bustled more tamers than tended to be in Darkmoon on a free rank test day. Most of them, I saw through the fringe of my hair, still had their hospital bracelets on. Well, I had to hope everyone got a good night's sleep before hell broke loose, whenever that would be. There was the distinct smell of ash and soot as I heard shouts, attack practice probably. I could say one thing about Tamer Union, I guess. Even if we were within seconds of going back into the gang wars we so recently had gotten out of, it sure looked a lot more efficient this time around. Not that I was exactly the pinnacle of self-sufficient.

Luna let out a sharp tongue click, causing me to look up from my shoes again. Auburn curls over honey brown eyes regarded me as she stepped away from the interface. Civilian clothes, a box with sweets in it that I could smell even at this distance, if it weren't for the white armband stating her position I would assume she belonged in here.

"Anya," I said, a bit too tired to make a game of it. "Aren't you supposed to be with your mom in residental? Checking my blood or something?" Uncle Shinta had told me what was going on anyway so it wasn't like I needed to know.

Annie lifted her tablet from the mammoth thing I would guess was her purse. "I have that, and mom's, well… she's my mother."

I nodded tightly, trying not to think of mine. Annie and I were able to relate when it came to our moms, which was probably why I got assigned to her. Too bad it didn't help.

She read the look on my face and her honey eyes went a weird sort of way, like she was trying not say something she thought was awful. "One of those days, huh? Want to talk about it?"

I hesitated, but I saw the cake box in her hand again and thought of Koh and of being outside anymore and of feeling like I was going to cry. "No," I finally said, moving to the portal home. "But I need to talk about it to someone, don't I?"

She almost laughed. "At least a little." She paused and glanced at her watch-Digivice, thing. "Fufumon, is he here yet?"

"Almost, he said he got slightly waylaid by the chief."

Anya snorted. "Well, he's a pretty popular guy." She turned back to me and I tried to stop myself from fidgeting. Ah, no good. Mom always left me like this. "Go on ahead. You'll have to let him in anyway."

"You usually don't let guests in for a therapy session," I said, trying to smirk.

She grinned and this was the weirdest day ever because Annie normally didn't have expressions, or at least not ones like this. "This isn't a therapy session."

I resisted the urge to ask just what it was as the portal swallowed me up. I'd get a stupid answer to my stupid questions.

Koh was taking down his futon from the clothesline when I arrived. "You look like shit," he said, and it was in that matter-of-fact, non-judgmental sort of way. I was starting to like that about him.

"Having a very shitty day," I replied, moving past him to release my Digimon out onto the beach. Of course, the second I did, all of them looked at him like he was the next thing to being ground turkey. I coughed and they looked away, except Alec. Even Luna just went and curled up on my bed. "Anya will be in here pretty soon."

Koh closed the closet door. "You go to her too, huh?" At my expression of disbelief, he laughed. "Hey, we've all got issues. Not everyone has fits with theirs."

"I know that," I muttered, looking away with my face burning. "I just didn't see you as the guy who would go willingly."

Koh shrugged and sat down by the nearest ladder. "It was part of my Tamer Union contract. Chief Glare was just going to let me experiment and make what I wanted, but I eventually got stir crazy, so he let me sign up for field work, if I got a therapist meeting twice a month. Then, you know..."

"Shit hit the fan, yeah." I at least had enough tact to not ask what they talked about. "You don't have to leave, by the way. She said it's not a therapy session."

Koh yawned. "So long as you're comfortable with it, I guess that's fine."

I tilted my head on the pillow. Granted, I still felt like shit and wanted to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep, but it wasn't like Annie would be likely to say anything completely awful. I sat up again at the sound of the 'doorbell'. (I can't believe they installed a doorbell system in dimensional bubbles.) It opened before I could actually do anything which made me wonder what the hell my uncle was doing here when he was supposedly back with the chief-oh god, ew, but then I saw who was actually coming through and I leaped off the bed.

"Dad!" I crashed into him so hard he almost fell over but to be fair my dad was the kind of guy who looked like a breeze could push him over. Emphasis on 'looked'. He could still lift me off the ground and spin with me all the way back to my bed without being a little winded. Which he did, hugging me tight.

"Surprise, lass," he quipped and I laughed until there were tears in my eyes. I barely even noticed Koh staring and Annie coming into the room. "Missed me, I see."

"Course I did," I managed to say. Since he was covering my face, I felt it was a little safe to get some water in my eyes. "What the heck are you doing here?"

"He's working directly with us on defusing the Light Fang and helping with recovery," Annie reported, nodding to Phascomon as he hopped over to her. I could see his twitching furry ears. "Residental's shifted over a lot of the people working on the EDEN epidemic, so we're hoping this will be resolved relatively quickly."

"Julia said that Center Bridge's repairs are going pretty fast," Koh said, finally recovering his voice. "Probably because of the pay."

"Money does make the world turn I suppose," I heard dad say as I felt his eyes lock onto Koh. Whatever he was about to say was lost as a chorus of digimon yelling 'grandpa' at the top of their lungs suddenly registered.

I forgot how much my digimon liked my dad.

By the time, the chaos had calmed down, I was resting my head in dad's lap. He was sewing up a hole in my hat. Annie sat in my computer chair, looking through her tablet while Koh chewed gleefully on strawberry shortcake.

"You all sure you're all right being here?"

Koh nodded and I lifted my hand to indicate I just didn't care. Dad's presence helped, though I couldn't see how it wouldn't help.

She sighed and nodded herself. "All right. Like I said Sayo, this isn't a therapy session, but I'm going to ask you that question you hate so much. Bear with me for a moment, all right?"

I winced a little but dad's fingers gently ran down my back and I nodded. "All right."

Annie straightened up. "Tell me the first thing you remember."

I sighed. "A flashlight."

"Can you think of anything besides that? From earlier? Or later?" Her voice was quiet. "You said you've been looking at old photo albums lately. Has that jogged anything in your mind?"

I feel the word 'no' ready to explode but I stopped. Because that wasn't true.

"I..." I shut my eyes. "I remember a fire." I heard Koh exhale and it almost drew me out of it. But I pushed the thought away. "I remember dad holding me to his leg and people, people sneering and saying… things. I don't remember what. But dad's not happy. Mom's crying mad, her hand on her stomach and then I'm yelling too. I know if I don't stop them, if I don't make them let us stay, he won't be able to find us when he comes back. My brother… mom needs him to come back, he made her really happy. But, but that didn't happen." I opened my eyes to look right at Annie, and like the last time, she didn't react at all. "Why you ask me that?"

Annie sighed and pulled up her screen for me to see. "You'll be sixteen in a few days," she said. "As a half-Talosian, you know what that means, right?"

I nodded, and for whatever reason, I heard Koh drop his fork onto the plate.

"Well, normally, I would just say 'lock your Tamer Home and call off', like I do the other kids," Annie continued. "However, your memory loss makes me wonder if that will be enough for you."

"Why?" Dad spoke up for me, perhaps because as a medical professional, he'd be able to translate.

"All Union Digivices track their Tamer's brainwaves," Anya said, and was almost drowned out by Durante hissing. I shrugged a little. I knew that. Most kids were aware of that. How could you not make sure the kids you were letting kill people were still safe for society? "And every time you get close to poking at the memories you've lost, like now, there's a barrier in the way." She clicked her tongue. "Due to your nature, it has spread to other aspects of your body, which seeing as memories do not simply exist in your brain, is a reasonable event, though an extreme response. But, that leads to my concern."

She paused to take a drink of water and I shut my eyes again. I didn't want to see her face just now.

"Your memories seem to have been tampered with," she said. "Not all of them, as there are natural blocks in the brain. But some have been and regardless, it's impeding your ability to fight. I know this because mom has a client in residental with a similar problem, which I cannot legally discuss with you. Regardless, enough of your recollection ability has been tampered with, which is why these past few months have probably been as painful for you as they have been, as well as draining on your Soul."

I stayed silent for a while, before I tried to joke, "So… there's a conspiracy in Digital that I might have stumbled on, and I had to forget?" Dad was still quiet. It was possible that he knew.

Anya shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. It's possible it was done for your own good, considering our few actual findings have been incredibly negative."

I nodded and bit my lip. "So… what could happen to me?"

Anya sighed. "I am not the kind of medical specialist who could give you that answer, Sayo."

I guess I must have dozed off at some point, probably after Annie started talking to Koh. I could see purples and orange colors out of the slits of my eyes. Dad was still stroking my hair, so I decided not to move.

Then I heard Koh, voice soft. "I have a sister."

There was the soft beep of an audio recorder.

"I just found out, or well, I got reminded, that I have a twin sister." Koh laughed. "My parents didn't talk about her, ever. She was there and then she was gone and poof. Until now." He made another noise, like he was going to cry. "I… They had never been all that happy around me until I found her and brought her home, my parents, I mean. They love her, like a lot. But she got kidnapped, apparently." He exhaled too loudly and I almost twitched. "I mean, she's usually really pissed off, all the time. Hell, she probably thinks I'm dead and someone's sending fake messages. I… I dunno what happened."

"Do you care about her?"

Koh made another noise. "I guess. I don't know. I don't even know her. I just… I know mom and dad want her safe, so I… I felt like I had to make sure she was." I heard the sound of plate touching wood. "I, I told Sayo, a while ago, that I didn't understand what she was dealing with, because I didn't have anybody that it hurt to lose like she did. And, I don't know if I do or not."

I decided to work even harder at sleeping. This wasn't something I should hear.

And there were tears in my eyes again from hearing it anyway.

The next morning, I left dad at the house, because Roni had claimed his lap, and because I wanted to feign ignorance to Koh for as long as possible. I stood in the Union Room, quarterstaff in hand, ready for my next orders. There was no way Julia would keep me back. She couldn't. I could take down Yuki. I had to do this.

She regarded me with a cool nod and a taser at her hip. Oh boy. "The repair work is going even faster than anticipated."

I nodded.

"Are you all set?"

I felt my lips quirk. "Course I am! Who do you think I am?"

Julia smiled, and it was the soft face from that day in the hospital I saw, just for an instant. "That's something you'll have to tell me."

I snorted. She was right. Tampered memories, emotional stress, tactless comments, with or without these, I was myself. I was a person who was ready for war.

When Koh came running up the ramp, I realized just how in for it we were.