Chapter 36

December 27th

"Okay, so we've established that you have obligations and I have obligations and neither of us has the luxury of being able to move. We're no closer than we were before to resolving this." Kate said, summarizing the conversation so far.

"Princeton makes more sense. They don't have a diagnostic department in Oregon, we do. We also have an Oncology Department. Wilson will give you a job."

"Just like a man. You assume your job is more important."

"That's bull and you know it. Your job is just more portable than mine."

Kate could feel her blood pressure rising. "Greg, I have to get Michael. He's about to swallow a small object. I'll call you back." She hung up and took a deep breath. Walking over to the couch, she sat down and put her head back. Michael was safely asleep in his crib.

"She just blew me off." House said as he turned in his chair.

Wilson shrugged. "She needs to make the decision to move on her own. You're making her feel that you don't value her work as much as your own."

"I don't. Oncologists are a dime a dozen, diagnostician's like me aren't. She's not being logical."

"House, if you want her to move, you have to offer to move first. You have to let her know the relationship is important enough to you that you'll sacrifice your career."

"So you think the most important career should be sacrificed? Like the October Horse?"

"You want the girl? Make the sacrifice."

House shook his head. "If I have to sacrifice who I am, then it's not a real relationship. Why would I want it?"

"Because you have a beautiful baby boy who shares your DNA."

"He lives on the other side of the continent. The way we're going, I'm never going to get to see him so excuse me but I don't really want to think about that."

"House, you can't just not think about your son."

"Watch me."

After a good night's sleep she dialed PPTH and, when House didn't answer his phone, left a message. "I didn't want to say this to voice mail, but I don't see any point in talking further. Neither of us can afford to leave our careers and so I don't see the point in trying to create a relationship when we won't be together. I'll be happy to keep you apprised of the baby's progress and if you want to see him, feel free to contact me, we can arrange things. Send me your Skype information and you can talk to him as often as you want. If you want to call me, please feel free to do so. But, if what I'm saying makes sense, I think it's best if we keep each other at arm's length. I'm sorry, Greg, I haven't slept trying to think of a compromise, something that would work, but I think we both know that it can't, it won't…" She paused and swallowed back the tears. "Bye."

House had seen the caller I.D. and waited. When he dialed the voice mail, it was still busy; the message was a long one. Before he could try back, Wilson walked into the office to ask if House wanted to go to lunch, but found a pensive House.

"What's up?"

"I'm waiting for a voice mail?"

"Waiting for a voice mail?"

"Kate called and left a message and was still leaving it when I tried to retrieve it."

"Wow…that can't be good."

House pressed the redial and was anxiously waiting for the message to play. He kept it on the speakers so that Wilson could hear. Wilson watched as House listened. Anyone else would have said that House didn't care, but Wilson could see the slight clench in his jaw and knew that House was having a hard time listening to the Dear John message.

"You need to call her back and tell her you'll move to Oregon."

"But I won't, she can afford to leave her career, I can't."

"So you're okay with letting her and your son go?"

"I guess I'll have to be, won't I?"

Wilson shook his head in disgust and then turned to leave, unable to tolerate another moment with House. He needed time to calm down.

"Hey! Where ya going? I thought we were going to lunch?"

"Not today, House. I don't want to be around you right now."

"Oh, come on! Just because I don't want to be a long distance Dad—"

"A dad! You don't want to be a dad period."

"I'm okay being Michael's Dad—in person."

Wilson shook his head and kept walking.

When Kate returned home the next day, Lonnie, the nanny, was patting her arms with anxiety. "Dr. Monaghan!"

"Yes, Lonnie?"

"Your boyfriend is rude!"

"Rude?"

"He kept insisting that you were here and I was covering for you. I finally let his call ring through to your answering machine."

"What did he say?"

"I didn't listen to the message, but he cursed at me when I supposedly refused to put you on the phone."

"Well, I don't normally work Sundays, so he probably did think you were lying. I'm sorry, he can be a little over the top."

"Little? I can't believe that he's Michael's father."

Kate snickered. "Neither can I."

After Kate gave Lonnie money for staying Sunday, she walked her to the door and watched as she got into her 1999 Jeep Cherokee and drove down the driveway to the road. A few deep breaths and then Kate took a seat before dialing the voice mail number.

"So your career comes before making sure that Michael has a father? Fine, if being an Oncologist at Seaside Hospital is more important than being with me, then you're right, there's no use in talking." The phone went dead.

Kate suddenly felt guilty; she had chosen her job over House, over giving Michael a two parent home. But, she just wanted House to acknowledge that her life was as important as his, to agree to at least try and find a compromise, but he didn't. Her life wasn't as important to him as his own. Running up the steps, she opened the door and crossed the room to Michael's crib. Staring down at her son, Kate couldn't imagine why House didn't want to move heaven and earth to be with him? He was so perfect and so vulnerable. She refused to cry… besides, when she boiled it all down, she hardly knew Gregory House. He'd never said he loved her…just that he cared. Maybe this was for the best. They discovered their true feelings early enough that they didn't make a mistake by destroying careers and moving across country to discover they weren't made for each other.

Kate wanted to hold Michael, but knew from her earlier conversation with Lonnie that he had only been down for an hour at most. She went back downstairs and looked at the bar. It had been a long time since she had imbibed alcohol by herself, but she felt so deeply alone, as alone as she felt after the accident. She poured herself a glass of wine and nursed it until Michael's voice bubbled over the baby monitor. A huge smile crossed Kate's face, her baby was awake. Rushing up the stairs, she found Michael rolling on his back and squealing at the sight of Kate.

"Hey, Pumpkin! How ya doin?" She picked him up and hugged him, kissed him, nuzzled him, her heart spilling over with love and sorrow. "Well, baby, it looks like it's just you and me. I think I scared your Daddy away. I'm so very sorry."