"What the hell is that noise?" Leonard asked, his voice crackling on the other end of the phone. "Is..Is that crying? Are you watching a movie or is someone in your apartment crying?"

Chris sighed and glanced in the direction of the bathroom, "Your sister has been in the bathroom crying for the last half hour," he shook his head, as Melanie began to wail behind the closed door.

"Then what the hell are you doing on the phone with me?" Leonard shouted. "Shouldn't you be, oh I don't know, in there making sure she doesn't cry herself into labor?"

"What do you want me to do? Break the door down?" he snapped. "She's barricaded herself in there!"

Leonard groaned, "What the hell happened now?"

Chris shifted on the bed, "Mel found this childbirth documentary on Netflix and thought we should watch it, you know.. to prepare ourselves and to get an idea of what happens."

"Oh sweet heaven on Earth," Leonard mumbled, and Chris could actually picture the eyeroll from the Southerner. "Let me guess. She saw a natural birth and started freaking out."

"Bingo," Chris shook his head. "I mean, yes it's painful and it looks like a murder scene," he ignored the scoff from Leonard. "But it's part of life! I don't know what the hell she was expecting when she told Doctor Kaui that she would be having a vaginal delivery with no pain medication!"

"Want me to talk to her?" Leonard asked, sighing. "I could probably convince her to get the epidural, but you're gonna have to convince her into pushing that girl out."

Chris groaned, "I wish she never found the damn thing," he muttered, as Melanie continued to sob behind the bathroom door. "How about I try to get her to come out, calm her down and then call you back?"

"That's fine," Leonard replied. "You do what you have to do and call me back. I'll even get Jim to sing her a show tune or a Disney song, to ease her nerves. Though, the kid can't carry a tune for his life."

"I HEARD THAT ASSHOLE!" Jim shouted from somewhere in the house. "AND I HAVE A LOVELY VOICE!"

Chris snickered, "I'll call you back as soon as I can," he said, sitting up.

"We'll be here," Leonard sighed. "Good luck."

Hanging up the phone, Chris climbed off the bed and shuffled towards the bathroom door, knocking lightly. "Mel?" he said gently, leaning his ear against the wood. "Can I come in?"

He heard sniffling and hiccupping, "N-no," she managed to get out, before sobbing again.

Chris sighed, "Mellie baby, open the door," he begged. "I just want to talk to you and see if you're alright."

"I'm n-not alright! I'm ha-having a n-n-nervous breakdown!" she sobbed.

"Mel, open this door now," he said, putting his hand on the doorknob. "I'll break it down if I have to."

Instead of movement, he heard more sobbing from his wife. Cursing, Chris looked back and scanned the room for something to unlock the door. Moving to the dresser, Chris scanned the items on the top and cursed. Finally, spotting the container holding all of Melanie's hair ties and other accessories, he quickly dug through until he found a bobby pin.

"Mel, I'm coming in there," he said, moving back to the door.

"D-don't!" she hiccupped.

Twisting the bobby pin around in the lock, Chris jiggled the doorknob until he heard a click. Pushing the door open, Chris spotted her sitting against the bathtub with a towel on her lap.

"Melanie," he sighed, as she looked up at him.

"I t-told you not to c-come in here," she gasped, as covered her face with her hands.

Moving across the bathroom, Chris was on the floor next to her in less than a minute, pulling her into his arms. "Sweetheart," he murmured against her head. "Talk to me."

Melanie continued to sob as he held onto her, unable to form coherent sentences as her entire body shook.

"How about we change you into something comfortable and get back into bed?" he suggested. "You cannot be that comfortable on this cold, hard floor. Do you want to do that?"

She nodded quickly and Chris moved up to his feet, taking hold of her arms. "Ready?" he asked, as she braced herself with one hand on the edge of the tub, pushing up off the floor. "There we go! Now we'll get you out of this dress and into a some comfortable clothes," he rubbed her back, as he led her out of the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later, Melanie was curled up in bed with a sweatshirt and a pair of leggings on, her face red and splotchy from crying and a hiccup or two escaping her body as she lay next to Chris.

"You can always tell the doctor that you want an epidural, Mel," he said, rubbing her back. "Birth plans aren't in concrete until you're in labor and ready to push. Then you have to stick to what you planned."

"Can't they just put me under and cut her out?" she asked, shifting her head against his chest.

Chris sighed, "No," he shook his head. "Are you really willing to miss Charlotte's first cries? Or getting to hold her as soon as she comes out?"

Melanie shrugged, "I don't know," she said softly. "I just didn't expect to react that way I did while watching that. That poor woman! Her baby ripped her all the way down to her asshole! Her asshole, Chris!"

"Mel, that baby had a head the size of a turkey," he snorted. "Of course her asshole ripped."

She shuddered, "Her face will be all squished and her head will be dented."

"It won't stay like that forever, Melanie," he sighed. "Your head didn't stay squished did it?"

"The witch had a c-section," she muttered. "I wish she had a natural birth though. I would've ripped her apart and made it permanent."

Chris chuckled, "Oh Jesus," he shook his head. "Mellie, what are we going to do with you?"

She looked up at him, "Keep Charlotte from tearing into my asshole?" she pouted. "Don't laugh!"

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "But I really think you'll be fine! If she does cause that much damage, think of all the pain killers you'll be on! And you wont have to breastfeed, since you're so worried about that after that stupid article you found online last week."

"You're an asshole," she shoved him. "Here I am, seriously freaking out and worried and you think it's a fucking joke!"

Chris groaned, "Mel, I don't think it's a joke," he shook his head, as she sat up. "I think you're overreacting just a bit."

Melanie pulled herself off the bed, shoving her feet into a pair of slippers. "Let's see you be so calm if the roles were reversed!" she snapped. "You'd be crying and having a nervous fucking breakdown!"

"What did you expect, Mel?" he asked, as she moved across the room. "Did you think we'd get to the hospital and they'd put you under, cut you open and take the baby out? And then wake up a few hours later and ta-da! Here's Charlotte?"

"Fuck you!" she yelled, storming out of the bedroom as fast as she could.

Chris quickly got out of bed and followed her, "Melanie!" he shouted, as she stormed into the spare bedroom. "You're being ridiculous!"

"Oh I'm being ridiculous?!" she laughed. "Excuse me, but who's the one that's going to be pushing out a baby? Who's the one that is going through all of these physical changes, straining their body to carry another life? It's certainly not you!"

"Jesus Chris- Mel, did I say anything about the fact that you're carrying a child in a negative light? No, I didn't! All I said was that I think you're overreacting a bit about what's going to happen to your asshole, when you should be more worried about going in with a calm attitude!"

Melanie shook her head, "Just- leave me alone!" she snapped.

Chris shook his head, "You're being a bitch right now," he stated, making her gasp. "I mean really, Melanie. Don't get pissed off at me, because you watched the fucking documentary and saw what actually happens during childbirth! It's not like the damn movies!"

"Get out!" she shouted, moving to push him out of the room. "Get out!"

"Do not push me!" he yelled. "You're pregnant for christ's sakes! You're going to get hurt!"

"Oh like you really care!" she spat. "I'm just the crazy bitch, who's so worried about what's going to happen when she pushes out a bowling ball!"

Chris staggered back out into the hallway, "You'll heal up within a month or two! Who cares about your asshole? No one is going to see it!"

She started him, one hand on the door, while the other rested against the wall. "I CARE!" she screamed, before slamming the door in his face.

He stared at the door for a few minutes, stunned at her behavior and at the fact that she pushed him into the hallway and slammed the door in his face. Shaking his head, Chris quickly went into their bedroom and slipped on a pair of shoes. Storming down the hall, Chris grabbed his phone and keys, and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

….

"I could wring your neck right now, Christopher! So help me god!"

Chris winced as Alice slammed the cabinet doors in the kitchen, cursing and muttering to herself as she went.

"See what you did?" Richard shook his head. "Not only is your wife pissed at you, but now you got my wife pissed. Then she'll go and turn against me, after you leave."

"You mean I can't crash here tonight?" Chris asked, alarmed.

Alice turned around, "Absolutely NOT!" she yelled. "You're gonna take your ass back home and apologize to Melanie!"

"Alice," Richard sighed. "Please calm down, honey."

She glared at him, "You better talk some damn sense into him!" she warned. "Or I'll call Leonard and you know he'll fly out here and kick his ass up and down this city!"

When Alice left the kitchen, Chris shook his head and sighed. "I didn't mean to yell at her," he said. "And I sure as hell didn't mean to call her a bitch."

Richard stood up from the table and went over to the liquor cabinet. "I know you're new at this, old man," he said, pouring out two classes of whiskey. "And it may've been almost twenty-three years since I had a baby, but I know enough to pass on to you."

Setting the glass down in front of him, Richard took his seat and sat back. "Look, it's crazy. All the hormones, cravings and changes that Melanie is going through and what you're both going through together. You're moving from being just the two of you, to caring for a little baby."

Chris nodded, "But you have to just suck it up and deal with it, Chris. Just nod your damn head and say "Yes Mel, I know you're scared," or "Tell me what you're thinking, Mel," and just keep your comments to yourself!"

"But Rich, it's like she had this fairytale idea in her head that childbirth was going to be easy!" he cried. "I mean she's basing the whole entire aspect of it on a documentary from the eighties!"

"I don't know why they make those things," Richard mumbled to himself, as he took a sip of his drink. "They show that shit in high school health classes, just to scare the kids into not having sex."

Chris groaned, "Fuck! I fucked up really bad," he shook his head. "She's not going to want me around, Rich. I think I really fucked everything up for good this time."

Richard shook his head, "You pissed her off and you hurt her feelings," he corrected him. "But you're not that fucked, where she would stop talking to you."

"You don't understand," Chris shook his head. "When we broke up for those five months and got back together and engaged around Christmas time, I promised her that I would n ever do anything to hurt her again. I even swore to Leonard that I'd do anything to make her happy and to keep her from feeling that pain again."

"Then you better get back over there and start groveling, Chris," he shook his head. "Beg, plead or hell, fucking cry if you must. You've got eight weeks left until Charlotte comes and if you can't get her to forgive you, then you're up shit's creek without a paddle."

…..

By the time Chris returned to the apartment, it was still early enough to purchase a bouquet of flowers from the street vendor up the block. Stepping into the cold hallway, the air conditioner humming from the living room, Chris was greeted by total silence. Locking the front door, he set his keys down on the table and made his way through the apartment.

"Mel?" he called out, peering into the living room, finding the couch empty.

Callie and Claude darted back and forth from the master bedroom to the nursery, chasing after a crinkle ball furiously. Peering into the nursery, he found that room empty as well.

"Mellie?"

She wasn't in their bedroom, the sheets rumpled from when they lounged underneath them earlier in the day. Finally, he made his way down to the final room and pushed the door open. Melanie lay on the bed, her back facing him, unmoving. Quietly, Chris made his way into the rom, setting the flowers down on the nightstand, before crawling across the mattress.

Settling down next to her, Chris gently wrapped his arm around her waist and pressed his nose into her hair.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, her grip tightening on her. "I'm so, so, so, sorry."

Melanie shifted, "Hmmm," she moaned, waking up from a deep sleep. " Chris?"

"Go back to sleep," he kissed her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

She placed her head back down on the pillow and yawned, "You have to iron your socks," she mumbled.

Chris frowned, "What?"

She snored in return, emotionally spent from the day. Chris sat up and pulled the folded up quilt up, shaking it open to cover her. Then, he laid back down beside her and wrapped his arm back around her waist. Taking her hand into his, he gave it a firm squeeze; when she squeezed back lightly, his heart soared. Shifting his head against he pillows, Chris closed his eyes and tried to relax, though it was hard to do with the tension that was still between them, unresolved and sure to explode when they both woke up later on. But for now, in the guestroom of their apartment, they would enjoy these few moments of peace, before meeting the issue head on.