'Never thought
This day would come so soon
We had no time to say goodbye
How can the world just carry on?
I feel so lost when you are not at my side
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?'

- Within Temptation, Our Farewell.

Chapter 36

Merlin sat in his chambers. Alone. He didn't know how long he had been sitting on his bed; head in his hands. As soon as he entered his chambers reality seemed to hit him, and he fell to his knees, shaking with shock, anger and sorrow. Merlin wasn't sure how he managed to get back to his feet and sit on his bed, but he knew that he wouldn't be moving again for a while, it was like he was frozen in time.

No one had entered the chambers since Merlin had been there. They would know this was where he would be, but it seemed that they hadn't dared to enter. It was better that way; he didn't want to hurt anyone again. He didn't want any comfort, because there was nothing anyone could say to offer him the least bit of comfort. Merlin felt like he had fallen into a dark pit and no one would be able to help him crawl out.

Dawn had finally broken, and the sun was shining warmth over Camelot, but to Merlin it felt cold. Outside the Kingdom was coming to life, but inside it was dull and quiet, just the thoughts running through Merlin's head to keep in company. How could the world carry on now Feu was gone? It was because no one cared, no one even knew the name of the hero that had just saved them from the horrors of the beast. And even if anyone did know who she was they would soon forget, Merlin had a destiny, he would be remembered forever, but Feu would be forgotten. People would carry on with their normal lives as if nothing had changed. But something had, a great hole was missing from Merlin's heart. A dark abyss he couldn't help but sink into.

Uther was probably holding a celebration that the beast was now dead and the people of Camelot were free, but for Merlin there was nothing to celebrate about, nothing to be happy for. He didn't want to go to any celebrations, he would refuse to go if anyone told him to go. He just wanted to be alone.

Every time Merlin thought of Feu he felt as if his heart had been stabbed a hundred times and the pain grew worse and worse. What would he do without her? She had gone and left him forever. But there was one thing even worse than this, that Merlin had only just realised. She knew! Feu knew all along that she was going to die, it had been obvious. That was why she was so reluctant to go with them back to Camelot, and she had hinted it to him once or twice but he hadn't really stopped to think about it. Feu knew she was going to die and he let her go without a second thought. But perhaps she didn't want to him to know, because if he did, he wouldn't have let her go, and then Camelot would be doomed. Feu had a kind heart, and she put her life in front of others, she deserved to be remembered, just for that.

Merlin couldn't stop playing scenes over and over again in his head. An image of Feu crashing to the ground along with the scream of the Opinicus, her stumbling away from the broken body, collapsing on the grass watered by her own blood. Staring up at the stars as the light faded from her eyes and she died. Alone. The very image in his mind made Merlin flinch. The worst thing was about this image was that she died alone, she didn't have to die alone, he should have been there with her, if she had to die, she should have died in his arms.

Merlin didn't even get the chance to say one last goodbye.

And it was all his fault! Who agreed to come with Arthur to find Feu? Who persuaded her to come back with them to Camelot, not thinking about whether she would live or die? Who let her go out all alone to face her certain death? Who had failed to find her? Feu could still be out there, lying in the grass in so much pain as her life drifted away before her. Merlin could go out there and find her; he could use magic to save her!

No, it was too late. It was better if Feu was dead now, she was in a better place, and she wouldn't be in any more pain.

But part of Merlin was refusing to accept the fact that Feu was dead. He heard footsteps and for a fleeting moment thought it was her, but then there was another crushing sensation inside of him that reminded him that Feu will never come back. Like Gaius said, she was gone. Feu had left to die alone; she didn't want to come back.

The door opened with a creak, but Merlin didn't look up. He assumed it probably was Gaius, he had come back from whatever he had been doing and was now probably going to attempted to give some sort of comfort. But Merlin didn't want comfort, nothing anyone would say would help, he preferred to be alone.

Silent footsteps walked towards him, and that was when Merlin thought that perhaps this wasn't Gaius, he would have already said something. Perhaps it was Arthur…no that was even worse, he really didn't want to speak to Arthur, he had punched him in the face, he was probably going to get arrested for that! Why didn't anyone just leave him alone? He just wanted peace.

But something told him it wasn't Arthur either, yet it was someone he knew so well.

The figure stepped closer.

The smell of spices filled the air.

"Hello Merlin," said a voice. "Did you miss me?"

THE END

Den den deern! That's right people, that's the end! It's finally over…or is it?

As you can see I've left the door wide open for a sequel, and I've got some ideas for it too, it's going to be called The Taste of Revenge (ooooh). But I don't want to write a sequel if no one's going to read it, so I just want to know if you're interested in the sequel and haven't got fed up with me yet. (: You can let me know whichever way you want, via review, PM, or a green dancing gnome (let's face it, reviewing or PM are probably the easier options…). And please don't think "yeah I'd like to read more, but I can't be bothered to waste 30 seconds reviewing" because then how do I know you want to read more? I haven't perfected the art of mind reading…yet (muhahaa). I will do a reply to every review, but anonymous reviews are welcome too (:

If I do write a sequel, it will be coming up sometime…next week hopefully (: Watch this space, I'll be putting up the prologue on this story to tell you all it's here!

Just like to say a quick thanks to Kitty O and Connortemple4evaneva for their regular reviews, and Gina Frodo H for her reviews, drawing and ability to survive through conversations about this fic! (: you guys rock! Xxx

Well, before I make this author's note as long as the chapter, I'll have to say that's it for now folks. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy. Don't forget to review, just one last time, even if it's just to say what you think of this chapter, a sequel, or the story overall, because I looooove reviews (:

I think that's everything, just to say thanks again, and I hope to be putting up the sequel soon! (:

xxx