Cullen had mixed feelings about Tessa leaving for the Emerald Graves.
She had to go the day after she saw him almost break down and that was a blessing and a curse all in one.
It was a blessing because he had time to think on what happened without her there. She truly was something else. When he tried to tell her why he should take lyrium again, she was firm and unyielding without judgment when she said no. Then, she was the opposite when she pressed him to tell her the details about his past. She never interrupted nor pushed after he started. All he felt was the soothing motion of her fingers in his hair and the way she clung to him protectively. She was what he needed and when he needed it.
She anchored him down and then managed to set him free somehow.
Cullen felt considerably lighter after he told her exactly what happened, and he wondered why he didn't tell anyone before.
Because it was her, a small voice told him.
Her leaving the next day was a curse in itself.
It was a curse because all he wanted to do now was keep her close to him and discuss what happened, but she wasn't there.
She was gone when he had woken up and he found a note from her on the bed beside him. It read; I'm sorry I couldn't be here when you woke up. Cassandra was threatening to break down the door. I hope you feel better. Make sure you get some food and water when you wake up!
Tessa also added her own adorable flare by putting a heart next to her name at the bottom.
He was surprised to have actually gotten a full night of sleep and then some, thanks to her spell. When he finally got ready for the day, a meeting was called and the Inquisitor was to set out for the Emerald Graves immediately. They only had time for them to share a quick kiss and for her to remind him to try to sleep more before she was packed onto Clover and basically shoved out of the gates of Skyhold.
Cullen had stood near the gate, watching until the group disappeared from sight before finally returning to his duties.
When he returned to his office, a servant was cleaning up the mess the lyrium kit had made when it smashed to the floor. "Do you want me to get you a new one from the Templars, Ser?" the young woman asked, standing up straight.
Cullen stared at the remains. The shards of glass from the bottle reflected in the sunlight and the box lid was crooked now.
He had kept it to remind him to stay strong; to remind him to not stray.
He finally looked at the girl, who was now fidgeting uncomfortably.
"No, I don't."