Vr: (lying on her stomach) Hey Marune.
Marune: (cleaning a dagger that has tomato juice all over it) Yeah?
Vr: What's with the red crap?
Marune: Making sauce for my pasta. It didn't go very well.
Vr: I can see. Check this out.
Marune: What?
Vr: It's called Crackshipjago. And you'll see in...5...4...3...2...1...
Vr and Marune: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Vr: I LOVE THIS BLOG!
Vr: Hey everyone! Welcome back to Dawn of the Ninja Dares! I'm your host Vr and-OH CRAP IT'S A DEMON!
Kai: -_- No, it's just me.
Jay: AHAHAHAHAHA!
Kai: You are gonna burn slowly real soon if you don't shut up.
Jay: 0_0
Vr: Don't threaten him, Kai, that's my job. Anyways, we've got a bunch of dares to do and we are gonna do them.
Cole: Can we have just one chapter where we...you know...don't do any dares?
Everyone: ...
Vr: No.
Kai: Did you seriously just ask her that?
Vr: Shaddup, Kai. First dare goes to...
Cole: Kai.
Nya: Kai.
Everyone: Kai.
Vr: Not Kai.
Everyone: (groans)
Kai: Yes!
Vr: Don't worry, we'll torture him soon enough. The villains need to...(whispers dare)
Morro: (sighs)
(One Veggie Tales medley later)
Marune: (uncovering ears) Is it over?
Vr: Yes, thankfully. What's next?
Marune: Nya and Jay gotta sing Love is an Open Door.
Vr: (plugs ears) Let me know when's over.
Marune: Will do.
Jay: Come on Nya.
Nya: Against my will.
All my life has been a series of doors in my face
And then suddenly I bump into you
I was thinking the same thing! 'Cause like
I've been searching my whole life to find my own place
And maybe it's the party talking or the chocolate fondue
But with you...
But with you
I found my place...
I see your face...
And it's nothing like I've ever known before!
Love is an open door!
Love is an open door!
Love is an open door!
With you!
With you!
With you!
With you!
Love is an open door...
Vr: Is it over?
Nya: Yes.
Vr: Okay, next dare! It's for...Nya.
Nya: Surprise, surprise.
Vr: Shaddup. Sing a parody of two perfect girls. I tweaked the lyrics for you.
Nya I am done with singing love songs after this.
A one-man woman's what I wanna be
To stay by his side so faithfully
I would if I could, but it's just no good
'Cause there's two perfect guys for me
Ha! Ha! Ha! All right!
Jay, oh Jay!
Cole, oh Cole!
A one-man woman's what I wanna be
But there's two perfect guys for me
Kai: Wow.
Nya: (blushing) Shaddup!
Vr: Why don't you go the fandom route? Date Skylor or Pixal and have the boys end up with each other?
Nya: That actually doesn't sound half bad.
Jay: HEY!
Cole: (facepalm) Let's just move on, shall we?
Vr: First time someone's said something I actually like in a long time! Jay gets to bathe in a pool of steaming lava.
Jay: 0_0 What!?
Cole: (shoves Jay into a pool of lava)
Jay: AAAH! HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT! WHY GUYS, WHY!?
Maruen: that looks like it hurts.
Jay: (pulls himself out) Please don't make me do that again!
Vr: Alright Jay, you're done until chapter 37.
Jay: (sighs) Oh thank goodness...
Vr: So, next dare! Cole and Nya have to...break up?
Nya: ...wut?
Vr: Is there something I'm missing out on, here?
Cole: Uh...
Nya: NO, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! LET'S JUST DO THIS DAMN DARE AND GET ON WITH OUR LIVES! (takes a deep breath) I'm breaking up with you, Cole.
Cole: We weren't even dating in the first place-
Nya: SHADDUP! You ruined the moment.
Vr: The moments are always ruined. Cole and Kai have Christmas presents to give each other!
Kai: (gives a present to Cole)
Cole: (gives a present to Kai)
Jay: What's in there?
Kai and Cole: (open the presents, which explode in their faces)
Kai: (glares at Vr) Care to explain?
Vr: I swapped the presents out with explosives.
Cole: Figures.
Vr: Next is for Wu and Garmadon to join some NFL teams.
Garmadon; I don't think that will end well.
(At the NFL draft)
Coach: Okay, welcome to the Ninjago Football League. Now, I'm choosing what teams y'all end up on because I am clearly superior to all of you bastards.
Wu: Can I join a team?
Garmadon: (facepalms)
Coach: You two are clearly past your prime. GET OUTTA MY SIGHT!
Garmadon: (flips coach off) Rude. (grabs Wu and leaves)
Vr: Go figure why they wouldn't take you.
Garmadon: -_-
Vr: Next dare! (gives Ronin a c4)
Ronin: What's this?
Vr: For your dare. Josh is waiting for you with a car outside.
Ronin: Oh.
(at a military base)
Ronin: This is not gonna work.
Josh: Watch this. (blows up c4)
Ronin: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY DID THAT!
Josh: GET TO THE CAR!
Soldier: (standing in front of the car) Aw, so it was YOU!
Josh: (sneaks past the guard, into the car and starts the engine.)
Ronin: Don't you dare! (Josh drives off) Dammit.
Soldier: Do you really think this is funny!? (pulls out a knife and lunges at Ronin)
Ronin: AAAAH!
(back with everyone else)
Marune: This is why you never trust Josh.
Vr: I don't know how much you trust him, but you've gotta...(whisper dare)
Marune: 0_0 ...no...
Josh: (sitting at a computer) Good enough for me.
Kai: I don't get it. What do they have to do?
Vr: Make yaoi of them.
Cole: Gross.
Marune: I don't wanna write or draw yaoi! I don't know where to start!
Vr: Let me teach you. So you take a guy...let's use Kai as an example.
Kai: Why me!?
Vr: Because all my friends call you the gay one, now SHADDUP! Now you give him a love interest...choose someone random.
Marune: Someone random.
Vr: -_- Then you write a cheesy beginning, make them talk, then have them make out!
Marune: ...
Vr: Or you could go the other route-
Kai: NO, WE WILL NOT GO THE OTHER ROUTE!
Marune: -_-
Vr: You know what, let's just move on.
Kai: I sense a sudden increase in yaoi dares coming.
Vr: Shaddup. I still wanna see you sleep with S-
Kai: YOU SHADDUP NOW! (bushing)
Vr: Ehehehe. What's next, Marune?
Marune: Next dare goes to Zane.
Zane: To do what task?
Marune: Drink 50,000 beers.
Zane: (chugs beers) ...
Ronin: 0_0 Geez, I can't even finish one that quickly!
Vr: He's a nindroid Ronin, get with the program. Wu gets to have some (cough) fun time (cough) with Misako.
Garmadon: (triggered)
Wu: Come here!
Misako: Ew, no. I married the sexier looking brother for a reason.
Wu: :(
Kai: I think we should find Wu another girl.
Cole: ...no...
Vr: Or, he can just leave Misako alone. Next one!
Marune: Lloyd's gotta kamikaze into a police station.
Vr: Oh, well then. Say hello to those undercover cops from the bank for me!
Lloyd: Why do I think this won't end well?
Kai Because these dares never do.
(at the police station)
Bank Worker: Glad I'm here and not at the bank where crazy kids in black hoodies attempt to rob us. (squints) What's that?
Lloyd: (in a plane) SOMEONE HELP ME, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLANE!
Bank Worker: AAAAAAHHHH!
(BOOM!)
Vr: Lloyd clearly doesn't know how to kamikaze.
Kai: Ya think?
Vr: Shut up, nobody wants your opinion. (gives Garmadon a gun)
Garmadon: Perfect. (shoots at Wu)
Wu: (ducks behind Kai)
Kai: Son of a- (bullet cuts clean through his hair) MY HAIR!
Everyone: AHAHAHAHAHA!
Kai: IT'S NOT FUNNY!
Cole: It kinda is...
Kai: NO IT'S NOT!
Vr: Okay, shaddup already! (types something into a computer) This is needed for our next dare-oh crap...
Marune: What-
Vr: Get out of here, child.
Marune: Huh? Why?
Vr: I SAID GET OUT OF HERE!
Marune: ... (backs away slowly)
Vr: (throws computer out the window) We are done with that crap. Next!
Marune: The Elemental Masters and villains have to watch Zootopia and give honest pinions.
Vr: Oh, that's easy.
(one movie later)
Skylor: ...so wait, people now would rather see movies about anthropomorphic animals?
Vr: Hey, at least it's better than Frozen, right?
Kai: Oh, so you don't really like to Let it Go?
Vr: NO!
Kai: LET IT GO, LET IT GO!
Vr: (shoots an arrow through Kai's hair)
Kai: NOT AGAIN!
Vr: There's an important life lesson, Kai. It's called learning when not to trigger people!
Kai: I'll keep it in mind, thanks.
Vr: Perfect. Next dare goes to...the dumba*s hothead in the room.
Kai: GEE I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE!
Vr: Yeah Kai, I wonder who that could be.
Everyone: ...
Kai: Just tell me already, dammit.
Vr: Nothing, really. Just don't tell some guy who hates your guts that he has a girl's name.
Kai: Wut-
(two guys riding a sea wave burst into the room and land on top of Kai. One of them is Crystal, and the other is a 16-year-old boy. He has black shaggy hair with red streaks, green eyes, pale skin and red lips. He wears a cyan ninja gi, black gloves, green jeans, turquoise and red Converse and a silver and blue raindrop necklace.)
Kai: Oh crap...not you again...
Crystal: This is revenge for saying I have a girl's name! (punches Kai)
Kai: OW! Geez, why do I have to deal with all the psychos?
Kasen: ...
Kai: ...
Crystal: ...
Everyone: ...
Jay: Uh-oh, sh*t's about to get real..
Kasen: (nutshots Kai)
Kai: (screaming in pain) OKAY, TAKE WHAT YOU WANT AND LEAVE! PLEASE DON'T KICK ME THERE AGAIN!
Kasen: Like what, your hair gel?
Kai: Sure, if you don't beat me up again!
Crystal: Too late. I already burned it.
Kai: T_T (sobbing)
Kasen: Come on, let's get out of here. (puts an arm around Crystal's waist, then walks with him out the door)
Cole: Why is it that everyone has a better love life than Kai?
Kai: Not everyone! Vr and Marune are still single.
Marune: Because I don't wanna date...
Vr: Please, I didn't choose the single life, the single life chose me.
Kai: -_- Not like any of us would wanna date you anyways.
Vr: Not like I actually wanna date any of you! Next dare!
Marune: Okay. (pulls out dare) Zane gets to paint a picture of him and Pixal.
Vr: Please nothing that involves things I don't want to see!
Zane: -_- (paints)
Pixal: What do you mean when you say that?
Nya: Are you serious?
Pixal: Yes. I am at loss on what Vr would not be willing to see.
Everyone: ...
Nya: You and I are going to have a nice, long talk.
Zane: Finished!
(Everyone takes a look at the painting.)
Vr: ...what did I just say, Zane?
Zane: It was an idea that made the most of my painting abilities. I had to do it.
Vr: The person who gave the nindroid a dirty mind is in some serious hot water. Next is for...
Cole: (whispering) Please...have nothing to do with me...
Vr: (glaring at Cole)
Cole: ...
Kai: She's talking to you, Col-
Cole: (slaps Kai) I KNOW IDIOT, I CAN READ BODY LANGUAGE!
Vr: How hot do you think Kai is? One a scale of 1 to 10?
Cole: ...
Lloyd: Considering the fact he just slapped him, probably not very hot.
Vr: Well, thank you Captain Obvious.
Cole: Fine. 6.
Kai; A 6!?
Cole: Yes-
Kai: ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS!? I DESERVE MORE THAN A 6! I AM CLEARLY THE SEXIEST GUY HERE!
Vr: Keep dreaming, Kai.
Lloyd: Ooh, so you think someone else is more sexy!
Vr: What!? No! I-
Lloyd: Tell me who it is!
Vr: Sh-shaddup...
Lloyd: Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me-
Vr: (pointing an arrow at Lloyd)
Lloyd: 0_0
Vr: Thank you. Cole also needs to call Kai Kai-hun for two chapters. Now, let's move on.
Marune: Vr gets to roast Jay.
Vr: Oh, I can think of any insult.
Marune: Literally. Over a campfire.
Vr: (making a campfire)
Jay: Nope!
Vr: Could someone please-
Kalrof: (blocks Jay's path, then punches him back to Vr)
Jay: OWWW!
Vr: Thank you!
Jay: (backs away slowly)
Vr: Oh well. If you're not coming to the fire...(throws fire on Jay)
Jay: AAAAAAHH! IT BURNS!
Vr: It's fire, it's gonna burn! Lloyd, talk in a Scottish accent.
Lloyd: In terrible Scottish accent) Like this?
Vr: ...seriously?
Lloyd: Hey, I tried!
Vr: But apparently, you didn't try hard enough.
Lloyd: That's what she sai-
Vr: (death glare of death)
Lloyd: Maybe I should just keep quiet.
Vr: Yes. You should. Next!
Marune: Nya needs to read Greenwisp.
Nya: Alright then.
(one Greenwisp fanfic later)
Nya: ...
Kai: How was it?
Nya: I have nothing to say.
Vr: That may be a good decision. Marune gets to have Cole's cake.
Cole: What!?
Marune: (eating the cake)
Cole: (sobbing)
Vr: How does that taste, Marune?
Marune: Try some!
Vr; (eats half of the cake) Ooh, that's good.
Cole: Not you too!
Vr: Real sorry you missed out, Cole. Next dare!
Marune: Morro needs to do Reddit's 50/50 challenge.
Morro: What is that?
Vr: Just as it sounds.
Morro: (searches it up) Oh, that. (clicks the first video)
Everyone: ...
Morro: (screams) WHAT IS THAT!? (clicks next video) OH MY SWEET MASTER OF SPINJITSU! (clicks next result and starts sobbing) Why...
Lloyd: Enjoying yourself?
Morro: (death glare of death)
Vr: They call it 50/50 for a reason Morro. Next is for...Lloyd!
Morro: Ha!
Lloyd: T_T What is it?
Vr: You;re a muffin for the rest of the chapter.
Lloyd: (a vanilla muffin with mint chips and green icing) -_-
Garmadon: Huh, I guess Lloyd really is my little muffin.
Lloyd: DAAAAAAAD!
Vr: Heh, nothing like father-son embarrassment. (dumps a bucket of glue on Clouse)
Clouse: What was that for?
Vr: So this would stick. (dumps pink glitter on to of Clouse)
Clouse: Now covered in glitter) -_-
Everyone: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Chen: Clousely-clouse looks so beautiful!
Clouse: (muttering death threats to Vr under his breath)
Vr: (hearing every word) That's real cute, Clouse. Next!
Marune: Everyone needs to see this (shows Vr the video)
Vr; Alright then, put it on play!
(one video later)
Everyone: ...
Kai: What exactly was that?
Vr: A YouTube video, you idiot. Last dare is for us to watch another death battle!
Kai: Oh joy.
(one more death battle later)
Cole: I think I've had my fill of death battles.
Vr: I think we all have. So, that concludes today's episode of Dawn of the Ninja Dares! Wasn't that fun!?
Lloyd: That's what she said!
Vr: (loads bow and starts shooting at Lloyd) I SWEAR LLOYD, ONE OF THESE DAYS-
Lloyd: 0_0 (runs)
So many dirty jokes, so little time.
So Jay can't be dared until Chapter 37. Just bringing that up.
Sorry for not really updating! I've been really busy, only being able to update the chapter for short periods of time.
But keep sending in them dares for more!