#
My face looked awful. I touched my face as I looked at my reflection through my water. The loud sounds of chatter filled the dinning room. It was six o' clock in the evening, and I haven't noticed how bad my face looked. After the girl had left so long ago, I felt my heart throb. It hurt so much. I wanted to talk with her more. Listen to her voice. See her smile. But it seems that a dream couldn't stay for long.
I can't follow her.
I can't get out of here.
I can't do anything now.
I closed my eyes in pain and took a deep breath. The only way I could see her again... Was if I kept reading her letters. They are the only things I have left to keep her close to my heart. To keep the darkness away. I slowly opened my eyes and began to walk to my room. I had to start reading. As I walked to the entrance of the room, I felt something tug at my shirt. I looked behind me and saw a group of children looking at me. A little boy held onto the corner of my shirt. Did they want something?
I opened my mouth to say something, but one of the children cutted me off and said, "Mister, did you kill Mikuo-san?" I flinched at the question. They stared at me with confused eyes.
"My mama said that you killed him... But papa said that you just watched," the boy continued. My eyes narrowed. Stupid rumors and the stupid adults. I hate this bloody place. The boy let go of my shirt as I squatted in front of him and the other children. These must be some of the kids that Mikuo fed his bread to. I stared at the little boy, wondering how they could say words like "kill" without hesitating.
Before I could say anything, a little girl walked up to the front and said to the boy, "It's no use trying to ask him. He hasn't said anything for a long time, I don't think he'll start now." The boy glared at the girl and looked back at me.
I stared at the boy. He had short black hair that complimented his brown eyes. His skin wan't all that dark, but he wasn't all that bright either; it reminded me of caramel. After staring at the boy, I looked up at the other kids. This boy was different from them. In the kids eyes, they believed the adults and they thought I had killed Mikuo. Their eye's were filled with uncertainty and disgust. But the boy in front of me wanted to know the truth. His eyes were filled with questions and determination. I stood up and began to walk out of the room. I heard the kids whispering among themselves.
"So that proves it?... How mean... Mikuo-san was his friend right?... Always ate together... Why did he do it... Shame on him..." I ignored the whisperer and continued to walk to my room. Children didn't like the truth. They would hear it as a lie and tell a lie. That's how it worked. If you didn't want to get in trouble, you lie. You want someone to be notice, you gossip good or bad things about them. You wanted to be respected by other kids, you lie. I closed my eyes with a pained expression.
I often lied to myself back when I was a child... Saying Neru's death wasn't my fault... Blaming it on Piko...
"You didn't answer my question!"
I flinched and turned around. It was the boy. He walked up to me with an angry expression on his face.I glanced up and saw that his little friends were gone.
"Mister, you need to answer my question!" the boy said with an annoyed tone. I let out a quick sigh and continued to walk to my room.
"I'm not going until you tell me!" the boy shouted. I didn't stop walking. As the boy and I walked to my room, he kept on pestering me; saying I was being annoying. I wanted to say the same thing, but I had a feeling that he would start bothering me even more. Probably say that I was being mean to him and he would tell on me. Once we got to my room, I entered and walked over to the pile of paper airplanes. I missed the girl dearly. I wanted to read her letters. Besides, I said that I would. I looked behind me and saw the boy staring at a stack of paper and note cards. He got real quite as he stared.
"... You have paper?" he finally asked. I nodded in reply. I gave a quick little smirk and walked over to the pile of paper that was hidden behind a wall of my room and took a seat while facing him. I took a peice of paper from the pile and held out the paper in front of me, while staring at the boy. He flinched. I laid the paper on the ground and began to fold it. The boy kept a close eye on my hands, wondering what I was making. After a moment, I held up the paper in front of me. It had turned into a beautiful paper airplane. The boy gasped as he saw my master piece. I gently tossed the paper plane over to the boy. He caught it and examined it with astonishment in his eyes. The boy looked up at me and said, "I can have it?" I nodded in reply. The boy stared at me for a while, then he began to tear up. I stared at the boy as the tears began to fall. The boy wiped away his tears and looked down, slightly embarrassed.
"...Sorry mister" the boy muttered. I slightly tilted my head at him. The boy shook his head and looked up at me.
"You're not like the other adults are you?" he said to me, a smile slowly coming onto his face.
"I don't mean to be a bother... I just want to know what happened." The boy suddenly turned serious. I stared at him and he looked down at his paper airplane.
"Mikuo-san had always gave me some of his bread. Probably out of pity..." He looked at me again and his face turned painful. He looked as if he was staring at a family member slowly dying in front of him.
"I..." he began. "I just want to know. I want to know what happened. I want to know why Mikuo-san gave me some of his bread. I want to know why he died. I just want to know the truth." The boy clenched at his paper airplane and his face turned into disapprovement.
"I'm tired of the adults telling me that what I can and can't do! I'm tired of the adults telling me lies in order to, 'protect' me! I'm tired of it all! I just want someone to tell me the truth without lying! I just want... Someone to tell me what happened without all the lies!"
I stared at the boy with wide eyes. He wasn't your average little boy. He was a child who knew of all the lies in the world. And he was seriously done with it all, as if he had been on this planet longer than he appeared. The boy started to cry, wiping away the tears as he cried. I smiled a little. This kid was trying hard to grow up. He wanted to grow up so he could learn the truth. I felt myself tear up a little as my vision became blury. Even though he was just a child, he wanted to know the truth. He didn't point at me and put Mikuo and Kaiko-san's death on me. He didn't blame me. Some how, this boy was balming himself. Even though he had nothing to do with it, he was some how blaming himself. He was trying to be in my shoes. I took a deep breath and waited for the boy to stop crying. Once the boy's sobbing had some to a slow silence, I looked at him and gave a gentle smiling.
"...You are very brave" I said softly. The boy flinched and stared at me with his tear stained face. I closed my eyes and felt a single tear fall down my cheek. "...Thank you." The boy's eyes widened. After a moment, I heard him take a step forward to me. I opened my eyes and looked at him, the smile still on my face.
"So then... You didn't...?" he said slowly. But before he could finish, a sudden scream echoed from the halls.
I jumped to my feet and walked over to the boy. The boy turned around and walked to the hallway. Once he scanned the area, I saw his face turn pale. I walked outside to join him and saw four men in uniforms walk towards us. Three of the men were ones I had rarely seen, while the one in the middle seemed familiar to me. Behind them was a woman crying with blood on her shoulder. I flinched. By the looks of the injury, the men pushed the woman and she smashed into the cave like wall. I stood in front of the boy and glared at the men. The man in the middle, the one who looked familiar, his eyes were fierce and filled with anger. As I glared at the man, I relieved that he had heavy dark bangs underneath his eyes that were highlighted by his glasses. I have seen this man before. I flinched. This was the man who was with Piko the day Kaiko-san told me that she was on the list. He was the "doctor".
As the men got close enough to me, one of the men punched my face. As I fell, I shoved the boy out of the way. I slammed into the ground and squeezed my eyes shut. I got up but was quickly pinned down on the arms by two uniformed men. The boy looked at me and started to hit the man closest to him with his little fists.
"Leave him alone!" the boy shouted. The man pushed the boy away from him and the boy fell down. When the boy hit the ground, he started to cough. I flinched and realized that the boy was sick. No one coughs after lightly falling onto the ground, it doesn't work that way. The doctor looked at me with disgust as a uniformed man stood next to him.
"Is this the one?" the doctor said with a disgusted tone. The uniformed men who were pinning me down nodded. The doctor noticed the paper airplane on the ground in front of me. I flinched. I must have dropped it when I fell. I started to struggle out of the mans grips, but they were too strong for me. The doctor's face turned fierce as he stared at the paper airplane. He picked it up and examined it. I gritted my teeth and squirmed some more.
"Trash doesn't get paper" the doctor said as he adjusted his eyes onto me.
"Especially paper with emotional words on it." The officers began to snicker among themselves. The boy then tackled the doctor. I flinched and watch the boy get smacked off the doctor. The boy started coughing again and the uniformed men standing next to the doctor took out a gun. I froze. My heart stopped. The uniformed man looked at the doctor. The doctor looked down at the kid, his eyes becoming emotionless.
"... There should never be a weak link to drag us down," the doctor said as he looked back at me. The uniformed man nodded and with that, his gun fired. The boy's coughing stopped. The paper airplane I had given him was covered in crimson. I glared at the doctor and he smirked at me.
"Let me reiterate..." the doctor began. "Trash doesn't get paper." And right there in front of me, the doctor ripped my paper airplane into bits and pieces.
My body stopped. Nothing moved except the gentle floating of the paper. As I watched the paper land on the floor, I felt my heart beat pound into my chest. My blood was boiling. Never before had I felt so mad.
I gritted my teeth and yelled as loud as I could, "YOU BASTARD!"The uniformed men flinched at my voice and I was able to break free. I jumped to my feet and punched the doctor with all of my strength. The doctor slammed into the ground and I jumped on top of him, hitting him in the face. Before my sixth hit, I was pulled off the doctor by the uniformed men. The doctor slowly sat up and rotated his jaw. I felt tears forming in my eyes.
"You disgust me!" I shouted. The doctor flinched and glared at me.
"What was that boy?!" the doctor replied with an angry tone. I felt tears run down my face.
This man assisted the big boss with his crimes.
This "doctor" was responsible for those people who died the day that Kaiko-san told me she was on the list.
This man was responsible for things I haven't figured out.
This man could have been responsible for the explosion that occurred that day.
This man was responsible for letting a child die.
The doctor stared straight into my eyes and smiled with a mad expression. No, and evil expression.
"Say what you will boy," the doctor began, "but I'm a savior! I make bombs without using any kind of gunpowder. I put those who are suffering out of their misery! Do you know what I am?! A doctor! That's what! People worship me for I have once saved their loved one's life or even their own! What have you done? Nothing!" The doctor began to pant. He yelled so loud that everyone was listening. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see workers out in the hall observing the whole scene. I stared at the man and gave a disgusted look.
"You... Are not a savoir" I began. I closed my eyes and remembered a sentence that Mikuo had said to me after I lost Neru and my voice. I wouldn't sleep and the exhaustion was getting to me. I might as well have gone mad like this man in front of me. I slowly opened my eyes and said, "...You are nothing more than... A man who has lost a battle."
The doctor froze at my words and stared at me. His evil expression had slowly turned into one of shock and realization. his eyes that were once filled with nothing has slowly returned to eyes of a man. After a moment, the doctor flinched and got up from the ground. He pulled down his hat to covered his eyes and gritted his teeth. With a quick motion, he waved his arm to the side; as if pointing somewhere.
"Throw him into the chamber!" the doctor shouted. I flinched and began to struggle out of the uniformed men's grip. The doctor spun around and quickly began to walk away until he was out of my sight. The uniformed man who stood next to the doctor walked up to me, stretching out a roll of gray duct tape; smirking as he did it. One of the men behind me grabbed my jaw and squeezed my cheeks together. He was trying to open my mouth. I pushed my teeth down together, refusing to open. The other man behind me stabbed my hand with what felt like a nail file, making me grunt in pain. The uniform man with the duct tape put a thing small lab bottle into my mouth and felt some sort of liquid slide down my tongue, eventually sliding down my throat. Before I was able to throw up the liquid, the uniformed man with the duct tape diagonally placed a strip of it on my mouth. He repeated this again, but the strip of tape went the other way; forming an X. The man took out a pen and began to write words on it.
He read out loud of what he was writing, "Worker... number... forty... two..." I tried to scream at him but it was muffled, making me sound like a baby softly crying in the distance. The men holding my arms began to drag me somewhere. Most likely to the chamber. The uniformed man with the duct tape took out a clipboard and made a line across the middle of it. He glanced up at me and smirked.
"That was the last one on the list" the man whispered.