And now, the entire last chapter once again, from Ezra's view. Only a little less, 'cuz, you know... he was dead. Not much to see or do when you're dead. Ah, but these two chapters make my head spin with giddiness.. Now I only need something better than this in the actual show, and I can die in peace.
And then come back, because Rebels is too awesome for me to be leaving it alone. :p
Disclaimer: As stated above, I NEED something like this chapter and the last in Rebels. Since there's not, we can safely assume I don't own it.
But seriously though, if Disney doesn't keep on going with the Kanan-Ezra/father-son relationship, something drastic is going to happen.
If you want more details on anything, not just this chapter but my stories as a whole, don't hesitate to PM me!
It was as he had already slid into unconsciousness that Ezra realized, in some back portion of his now sluggish brain, that he was about to die.
As Spectre 6 of the Ghost crew, he'd faced life-or-death situations before, so the feeling should be familiar; but it wasn't. This wasn't a life-OR-death situation... this time, Ezra could actually feel he was, as some species called it, 'on death's doormat.' It was an odd feeling. He'd thought it would have come with a lot more fear and drama.
He wasn't really scared, though. He wasn't really feeling anything, to be honest. It was kind of impossible.
Still, just before he faded from the universe, Ezra couldn't help but feeling the slightest bit of regret. Kana was still out there. So was Ahsoka, and Vader. So were Hera, and Zeb, and Sabine. They were all fighting for their lives right now, and Ezra was just going to leave them...
But there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. After all, no one had the power to stop death. All Ezra could do was... fade away...
He was unconscious in the first place, so he couldn't feel the aches, burns, stings, and simple pain fade away, but there was a sense of peace that stole over him as his awareness faded from the galaxy. It was a nice, serene, empty feeling, as though nothing would ever bother him again...
...
...
...
...
...
Something stopped him.
In the nothingness of death, Ezra couldn't feel anything, but he recognized- dimly -that he was stopped.
No-now he was moving again.
The wrong way.
He was moving back towards the living, his consciousness slowly returning the further he went. Slowly, he had gathered enough of his sense to understand he wasn't moving against the current o his own; instead, he was being pulled off of that something.
That fact circulated through him for a few moments before the implication of that came to him; along with a faint, pale imitation of what before-hand would have been confusion.
He was supposed to be dying, he was supposed to be dead. He was supposed to be heading away from that which was life, and into the next plane of existence of the Force. He wasn't supposed to be going back.
Ezra stopped following whatever was tugging at him. He felt the current all around him, sucking at him, trying to sweep him down the path he was supposed to follow. He was supposed to join that flow, not swim back up against it.
They stopped- but the grip on his 'soul' did not release.
Something foreign pushed against Ezra. It wasn't bad, it wasn't anything trying to take control or morph him into anything else, it was just... something not his own. Well, maybe it was his own, and it was just trying to get back into him as he had gotten closer and closer to 'life.' Or it could be from that which was trying to take him back.
Either way, Ezra didn't budge. Whatever was trying to move him was going against the current, against the will of the Force. He might not have trained to be a Jedi for a while- he might not even remember most of that at this point -but going against the Force just felt... wrong. Ezra didn't move.
He had to follow the current- whatever was pulling him away was not supposed to be doing so. Faintly, Ezra tried pulling away, he tried to slip away into the current that he was supposed to be following.
And all of a sudden, that current wasn't there.
Instead, something warm and firm swallowed him up: something that triggered a long forgotten memory that Ezra couldn't even picture. He just knew it reminded him of something... happy.
That one pure emotion might have been what opened the dam- because suddenly, he was feeling four times as many things: grief, anger, desperation, guilt, disbelief, peace, and a sense of determination so strong, Ezra wouldn't have even been able to describe it if his mind had been fully together. Oh, wait; those weren't his-
You. Are NOT. Going to die, you mean too much to too many people. I lost my everything once; you gave me a chance to forgive myself for that. YOU gave me a second chance. I'm not letting you go.
It wasn't one of his own thoughts. He barely even understood the words. But he could feel the conviction behind them, the knowledge that whoever had thought this was also the one pulling him out of the current came to him in a flash. And then the identity came to him.
Not because of context clues or an accent or the sound of a voice- such things were impossible in the Force. But Ezra could feel love- such strong, deep, emotional love, it would have completely incapacitated him in the real world. With that feeling coursing through him, Ezra knew that the man behind the force pulling him was absolutely resolute in his task, that no force in the universe- in the very Force itself -would stop him.
I won't let you go. I can't. Kanan said, though he didn't say anything at all. Ezra just felt it; he knew Kanan had sent it.
And he stopped trying to flow with the current.
He could still feel it trying to take him away, back down the path he was supposed to follow- but he also felt Kanan. How strong his conviction was that Ezra was going to come back. He felt his love, and Ezra knew there was nothing that could stop his Master from acting out on it.
Something woke up inside of him. Some part of him that had been aching in his heart for a very, very long time- since before he had met Kanan and the Ghost crew, since his parents had died. It had been so long ago Ezra had very nearly forgotten what it felt like.
And that feeling was what made him stop struggling, what made him use the awareness he was slowly regaining to follow Kanan.
Come on, Ezra. Come back to me. I need you.
Ezra tried to move. And he did, though it was frustratingly slow, and it felt as though he was going nowhere. Ezra kept on pushing, following Kanan. Following him back through to the light.
I'm not losing you.
Ezra kept moving. Even if he was hardly making any progress at all, Kanan was there, pulling him closer and closer back to life. It was all Ezra could do to just make the attempt; but that didn't matter. Kanan was there. He was supporting Ezra. Refusing to let him go.
I'm not losing you.
... I'm... not... leaving...
Ezra. His 'voice' was calm. Tranquil. His soul was jubilant. Rejoicing.
...Kanan.
They breached the barrier.
Everything came flooding back- the pain, the hurt, yes, but also the awareness, the emotions, the sense of being able to feel. Ezra felt cold and hot all over. He felt a throbbing pain in the back of his head, in his arms, in his chest, in his back. But he wouldn't have changed anything about this moment at all.
Because through all the pain and what-have-you, Ezra felt Kanan holding him close. Yes- his fingers were sticky with his own blood. Yes- they were both hurting. But yes, they were both still alive. They were both still together. Kanan had brought Ezra back to him; he hadn't let them fall apart.
Which was why, when Ezra Bridger opened his electrifying blue eyes, for the first time in almost ten years, they were shining with tears of emotion.
Not sadness, not fear, but not happiness, not jubilation. Just- gratitude, that he was here. Alive. With Kanan.
Because Ezra remembered that memory which had come to him when Kanan had enveloped him. The one thing that had by all intents and purposes let Ezra see into the head of his Master was a memory, faint and half-forgotten, of his father hugging him tightly.
That feeling had been the knowledge that he had a family. That their bonds were so tight; even death couldn't pull them apart.
And Ezra found himself waking from death in the strong, warm, comforting arms of the one man who had shown him that family.
As he woke up, Ezra found himself being pressed tightly into Kanan's chest. And he was pressing back, gasping from just the pure amount of emotions surging through him. He was shaking. He was crying. So was Kanan.
Because Kanan would never let him go.