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Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm writing to you to let you know how life on this show has been for me! I dated a ton of guys like Justin, Alejandro, Trent, Geoff, Tyler, Scott, Brick and Duncan! I'm a guy magnet and they all think that I'm super duper hot since I got these braces off. I asked Chris on a date and he told me that he would think about it and get back to me after he has 10 beers! Can you believe that I could be the next Mrs. Mclean?! How awesome would that money be? Okay, so when I'm not running from all the hot guys who want me I'm making arts and crafts and it's so amazing! Yesterday I was making a birdhouse with Trent and we got glitter all over the floor and that's apparently the only thing Trent hates more then the number 10 and he threw my glittery birdhouse at me and it hit me in the face, Chef just laughed at me when I went for medical attention.
The people who I live here with are kind of lazy and they leave clothes all over the place and they don't shower that often. Geoff told me one time that he never has to shower because he's always in the pool and it's like a community bath and I haven't really ever felt the same about the pool since he said that. Another thing is we have roaches from all the food people leave on the floor and this girl Dawn talks to them and I think she told them this is like a roach motel or something because the number of bugs seems to grow with every passing day. I think Heather has this game rigged too! I'm sure she's sleeping with Chris because she always seems to make it to the finals and she's a lazy and useless player who uses people so with everyone knowing she plays dirty that means everyone here is either stupid enough to believe her or she's walking around with really short shorts because she wants Chris to notice her.
Another thing that sucks here is when Harold makes us do emergency drills because he nominated himself as a safety officer! Last week he did a burglar drill and Alejandro didn't wake up for it so Harold took his door away as punishment and then Alejandro punched him in the face. We also had a fire drill and Harold lit a fire and it set Chris's room on fire and Chris yelled at Harold and now he owes Chris $4,200 dollars because Chris has a sensitive body and apparently needs a special bed.
My room is okay I guess. I have a lot of pictures of Cody on my wall and a bunch of pictures of Duncan naked, Courtney's room is next to mine and for the longest time Duncan thought it was my room and was slipping naked pictures under the door along with a million letters apologizing to Courtney.
When I'm finally allowed to return home to live with you guys, I can't wait to come back home and join the scouts again, man do I miss selling the most cookies! Remember how you would never let me practice the flaming baton around? Well I've been practicing it here and you were right...I haven't really gotten better at it. I accidentally hit DJ in the face with it and he cried and then Chef got mad at me.
So, with me telling you all of this I'm hoping that you'll be happy to see me when I come home because this place is like a prison and I'm pretty sure I'm going to die here soon and I'm actually surprised that I haven't yet especially when Trent is supposed to be taking medication and he's stopped a long time ago, Duncan also carries a knife and threatens people with it and Lindsay has tried to make a dirty video with me and put her boobs in my face! Yeah, the guys found it to be hot but I almost suffocated in those things! I reported it to Chris but he told me it was legal and I'm pretty sure it's not and I'm not trying to sound like Courtney but I think we should sue and then buy a new house and have Chris get arrested but to do that I need to come home so please help me!?
Hoping police cars show up soon,
Beth
Okay so that's Beth's letter and I still have Dakota's and I honestly don't know who else so if I'm missing someone please let me know and I'll do them soon. Hope you guys liked it. If you like my sense of humor with this fic then you would love 'Wonder what we think of them' 'fifty shades of Gwen' and 'Creepy Lawsuit' by my friend George who goes by 'Wish I was a pirate' you may also like '9 dates' which is written by 'Snakeshark196' who is a good friend of mine as well as a talented writer.