TH: This chapter is a little light-hearted interlude in the plot. Because we needed more Kakashi. Anyway, there is a loooong author's note at the end of the chapter, with important info!
Going Sideways
Chapter Thirty-seven
Theme:: If Looks Could Kill
"What. The. Hell." Sakura's voice was flat, each syllable clipped. She stood half in/half out of the doggy door Kakashi had graciously installed (and gotten Minato to seal against anyone but Sakura and the ninken), frozen in a potent mix of indignation, anger, exasperation, and memory. She might love Kakashi as she loved Tsunade and Shizune and Naruto and Ino, but there were certain habits of his that she decidedly did not love, even though the familiarity of the sight in front of her constricted her heart.
Inside the apartment, Kakashi jerked, tried to hide his bright orange book behind his back, realized it was too late and brought it back out, then realized he did after all want to hide it and whipped it back behind him. "Uh, er, Sakura… welcome back?"
Sakura growled, stepped all the way in to the apartment, and asked dangerously: "What are you reading, Kakashi?"
"A book written by Jiraiya of the Sannin," Kakashi said evasively, if truthfully. Sakura narrowed her eyes at him. If looks could kill…
"That won't save you; I know how big of a pervert the man is. I shudder to think what kind of book he'd write."
"It's not that bad!" Kakashi protested automatically. "It actually has a lot of hidden depth! And the main theme of the nature of forgiveness—!"
"Not to mention the steamy romance…" Sakura interrupted, imitating Kakashi's tone.
Kakashi twitched, then drew himself up and sniffed. "I am an adult and if my literature happens to contain some sex, it is perfectly acceptable."
"Some sex?"
"Well…" Kakashi said, and then paused, and some of the embarrassment faded from his expression and he gave her a narrow look of his own. "And how would you know how much there is in this book?"
:Shit!: Sakura's brain yelped. Alarmed, though probably not for the reasons Kakashi was expecting, she tried to hide the panic and cover it up.
"Please," she scoffed, thinking fast. "With a title like Icha Icha Paradise and an author like Jiraiya?"
"Hm," Kakashi said, still eyeing her. "You know, this is the first book like this he's written."
"Yes and quite a surprise that is, too," she said, flipping her tail. "As big a pervert as he is, I'd've expected him to have a whole series already. Pity he hasn't done anything more like the Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi."
"You read that?" Kakashi asked, with apparent surprise. Sakura nodded.
"I loved it," she admitted. "The main character… reminds me of someone I knew."
"You know, Minato-sensei and Kushina-san named Naruto after the main character," Kakashi told her.
"I wondered," she said, grinning. "It was either that, or one of them had an unholy love of ramen."
"I think both of them liked ramen in a calm and socially acceptable manner," Kakashi said.
"Presumably, it was the book, then," Sakura agreed. They shared a grin. "I'm going to put my scrolls away," she said, jerking her chin toward the little harness she wore. "And then d'you want to get ramen for dinner? I'm craving it now."
"Sure," Kakashi said. Sakura trotted toward the closet, which Kakashi had converted into a miniature room for her. Halfway there, she paused and said over her shoulder:
"Oh, and Kakashi, don't think I've forgotten about your porn. If I ever see you reading it in public, I will shred it with my pretty little claws."
She could just about feel the beleaguered sigh he huffed silently behind her. She smirked as she went into her room.
TH: So, it is one of the existing theories about time-travel that it is impossible, that one cannot travel back in time in their own dimension/universe. However, the corollary of this is that you CAN travel 'back in time' while shifting sideways into a parallel universe. Which is to say, you end up at a point that you would perceive as the 'past', but it is a part of an alternate history where the flow of events is not the same as in your home universe. This is more the approach I have taken in Going Sideways. So there are differences between my story and the canon. Here's a relatively brief explanation of my Madara and my Kyuubi Attack (WARNING SPOILERS):
I am willfully ignoring the whole Tobito/Madara thing. I thought he was a much more effective villain just being Madara. I feel that the personality Kishimoto had built previously for Obito (during Kakashi gaiden) is at tremendous odds with how he's acting and reacting to things recently. My rant on the subject could go on for a long time, so I'll just leave it at that. So. Obito is dead, and my Madara is actually Madara. He hates Konoha because of the Senju- he is bitter about 'losing' to them- and the Uchiha- who he feel betrayed him. He also hates them because they took his power from him: Senju Hashirama became Hokage over him, and the Uchiha clan removed him as their leader and exiled him. He tries to amass power for himself (creating unrest in Hidden Villages and making puppet Kage, creating Akatsuki, and taking the Bijuu), and tries to get revenge on Konoha. Because the Kyuubi is generally well under wraps, he jumps at the opportunity presented when the seals weaken on Kushina during childbirth. He sees a grand opportunity to take control of the Fox and strike a powerful blow to the Village at the same time.
He'd always been surrounded by war and fighting, and built his reputation on his prowess in those things. It is all he knows. He has no purpose in a peaceful world, so he does not want such a world to come about. He comes to enjoy causing suffering for its own sake, and his goals become not just to get revenge on Konoha, but to make them suffer. To make everyone suffer. Madara wants ultimate power over the world, he wants power over life and death, he wants to be a god. He is crazy, but he is also strong and smart, and that makes him very dangerous.
That is my treatment of his character, and it informs how he acts in my stor(ies). In this story, for the Kyuubi attack/ Naruto's birth he has a few goals.
1) he wants to take the power of the Kyuubi for his own purposes
2) he wants to make Konoha bleed, by making the Fox attack the Village
3) by wearing a mask to shield his complete identity, but allowing his general identity as an Uchiha show, he wants to create a schism between the clan and the Village, and this he couples with some hidden influence he exerts on the Clan, trying to create a civil war
The start of the attack goes much as it does in the manga. In case they have problems with the Kyuubi, Kushina is taken to a location outside of Konoha-proper to give birth. Madara comes, kills the guards and the medical personnel, and nabs Naruto. Madara threatens to kill Naruto and Minato saves him, and this is where my version and the one shown in canon split. Instead of being separated from Kushina and dropping Naruto off in that little safe room, Minato is there when Madara breaks Kushina's seals and releases the Kyuubi, but he is busy trying to get the exploding tags off of Naruto and can't stop Madara at the same time. Minato snatches Kushina away, but too late, the violent tearing of the Fox from her mortally wounded Kushina and she is quickly dying. Minato lays her down with Naruto a little ways away, and goes back to attack Madara. While they are fighting, Kushina uses the last of her energy to try to seal the Kyuubi back into herself. She holds it for a while, but this ticks off Madara, who attacks her. Minato tries to stop him, but Madara has his phasing ability, and he succeeds. He slits Kushina's throat, killing her. He would do the same to Naruto, but an absolutely furious Minato uses Hiraishin to grab his son, then is forced to use it again as Madara attacks them both. This gives Madara the opening to transport himself to the Village and summon the Kyuubi there. Minato comes back, having dropped Naruto off in a relatively safe place, and he and Madara fight. As in the manga, Minato wrests the Kyuubi from Madara's Sharingan's control, Madara leaves, and Minato has to face the Kyuubi, which is still furious and attacking Konoha even though Madara isn't driving it anymore. Minato knows he will have to seal the Kyuubi into Naruto, so he gets his son and summons Gamabunta to carry them. They force the Kyuubi just outside the walls of Konoha, and Minato starts drawing the sealing arrays as Gamabunta occupies the Fox. And that is where time travelling Sakura jumps in.