Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

Beeblegirl: Thank you! Well who knows ... maybe Aramis won't allow Athos to come along. He can be very protective and he has the last word. So we will see what the night will bring and then the next day in ch 35 ;-)

Barbara L: Thank you xxx Yes they really show in this chapter and in the next that they care for each other. Enjoy our next installment ;-)

Just realised that this chapter was completely written by Ebm36.

I really love it and I am sure you will love it too.

Here is ch 34.

Enjoy xx Kira

Chapter 34

Aramis stood unmoving for a few seconds, eyes on the closed door.

"So …" Athos began.

"So?" Aramis asked.

They laughed quietly in the silence of the room.

"I don't really feel like sleeping for now." Athos said, his smile fading.

He turned on his side, back to the wall, head on his bent arm.

"I am exhausted … Yes, Aramis, don't look at me like that, I admit it, I am exhausted, but I feel I won't be able to sleep."

"It's one of the side effects of the coffee you drank".

"Wonderful." Athos snorted.

"You should try to sleep anyway. Tomorrow will be a long day."

"You?" Athos asked gently.

"Me?"

"You can't sleep while I am in your bed!"

"Try me!" Aramis replied with a grin.

Athos straightened and tried to get up.

"I'll go back to my room."

"No, no, no, you don't. Captain's orders and I'm not tired. So now, I will blow out the candles and you will close your eyes and sleep will come without you noticing it."

"No." Athos cried, suddenly agitated.

Aramis who had already extinguished the candle on the table stopped.

"Please, leave this one."

Athos pointed at the candle weakly flickering on the tarnished sconce above the bed. Aramis sat again on the floor but not before having laid a blanket and two pillows on the cold tiles. If he had to sleep, he would, at least, sleep at arm's reach of his brother. Athos wrapped his blanket a little more tightly around his shoulders and closed his eyes. Aramis put a hand on his knee and ran his thumb on it in a comforting back-and-forth move. He could feel the man's shudders under his hand.

"Are you cold?" He made to stand up. "I will add …"

"No. It's not that, Aramis."

"So what is it? Talk to me, please." Aramis whispered, anxiety clear in his voice.

"I know it's the fever, or exhaustion, or that nasty poison, but …" He stopped, trying not to seem childish.

"Athos …"

Aramis moved his hand and squeezed Athos' wrist encouragingly.

"I know it's a figment of my imagination … but …"

Aramis straightened, suddenly on alert.

"Tell me."

Athos opened his eyes and looked straight into the deep brown soft eyes.

"I … when I was in the courtyard … I saw a shadow lurking in the dark … I know it's not …"

"It is …!" Aramis interrupted him.

"Pardon?"

"It is real. I had the same feeling, here and at the palace. I think there is someone, not a shadow. But a man … or a woman …"

The medic stood up abruptly.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking the bolts and this heavy trunk will be better placed in front of the door."

Athos laughed silently.

"What?"

"Look at us. Two scared children afraid of night and shadows."

"Shhh now, boy. Try to sleep."

"Very well, but try to sleep too. Are you comfortable enough? I could …"

"Be quiet, Athos and go to sleep."

Aramis hadn't meant to fall asleep so soon but exhaustion had won its fight over his body. Athos heard his breathing even. He really needed to move his feet, his legs were restless and his heart seemed as noisy as a galloping stallion, but he didn't dare to move because the rustling of the sheets could wake his friend.

Athos could hear his heart. He knew that the beating in his chest was regular and not too fast but the feeling was frightening. He feared for each heartbeat to be the last. It reminded him of these irrational fears of his childhood, when alone in his room he could hear all the menacing sounds of the castle.

He tried to focus on the soft snoring of Aramis, on the cries of night birds outside, on the small noises new to him in this unfamiliar room, but nothing worked. The bang bang bang was slowly driving him crazy.

Aramis whimpered in his sleep and muttered a desperate please. In the dim light Athos saw him turn on his side and move restlessly. Bending over the edge of the mattress, Athos reached for his friend's shoulder. The mere touch seemed to calm him a little so Athos kept his hand where it was. Feeling the strong shudders under his fingers, he closed his eyes again.

XXXXX

It's so cold and wet and white. Cold. Wet. White.

Please, don't leave me.

I am cold.

All is white.

All is red.

Don't leave me, please, don't …

White. Cold. Wet and red.

Ravens. Keep them away. Please kill them.

Don't leave, please …

XXXXX

Aramis bolted upright. He hadn't meant to fall asleep. And if? … He knelt and reached a hand towards the bed. Athos' left arm was dangling over the edge of the mattress, his eyes were closed and his features were so pale and drawn. Aramis laid his palm on his friend's chest. He could feel the regular heartbeat under his fingers and he exhaled a relieved breath. Darkness always made fears much worse. Aramis relaxed and smiled.

You didn't want to sleep, but sleep wanted you my friend. He thought.

After getting up to stoke the fire, Aramis rearranged the blanket on his friend and sat down on his nest of pillows and blanket. This time he wouldn't sleep. He leaned his head on the edge of the mattress, his face so close to Athos' that he could feel the warm breath of the sleeping man on his cheek. His eyes closed slowly.

XXXXX

Heat. Sun. Blue.

He walks around the courtyard flooded by bright light.

Sweat. Heat. Thirst.

He needs to drink.

He approaches the well.

Bending over the edge, he looks at the dark abyss.

Her face. He can see her face. Her so sad and frightened blue eyes.

In the reflection over this black water.

She calls. She cries.

Everything is blurry now. The brightness has disappeared again.

Silence.

Deafening silence.

But sobs. His sobs? Her sobs?

Black. Black ink floods from the shadows of the courtyard.

He suffocates. The inky black flood is slowly submerging him.

Drowning him.
Desperate, he holds a hand towards the sky.

XXXXX

The shout made him jump. Aramis had drifted between sleep and wakefulness for an hour, maybe more, maybe less. He felt numb and dizzy and he didn't realise at once what was happening, but what he saw when he looked towards the bed, broke his heart.

Athos was kneeling on the bed, his wide open eyes held a frightened expression. He was whimpering and big childish tears were rolling down his cheeks. One of his hands was clutching the sheet while the other was stretched as if he wanted to seize something above his head. Aramis jumped onto the bed and knelt facing his friend. He took the stretched out hand in both his. Athos squeezed them like a drowning man.

"Save her, please …" He mumbled.

"Athos, wake up, it's just a dream." Aramis tried to soothe his friend, but Athos recoiled from his touch.

"No … I am cursed … It's dark … everywhere … Don't … leave me, ... please," he stammered barely understandable, freeing his fingers from his friend's hold.

He put his head in his hands and clutched at his wild hair.

"I can't … I can't … " He moaned again.

"Wake up, please, wake up!" Aramis pleaded gripping his friend's wrist.

He gently moved Athos' clenched hands away from his face. He continued his soothing murmur, looking straight into the two pale lakes of his friend's scared eyes. He felt his own eyes blur and two lonely tears escape his eyelids. He wiped them angrily with his shoulders, not releasing the trembling hands in his. He let his forehead drop against his friend's and began to whisper a litany of prayers and Spanish words. Suddenly, he heard Athos suck in a deep breathe and he knew it was the sign that the man was awake.

"What ...?" Athos mumbled blinking.

Aramis looked at him softly.

"You had a dream. A bad dream."

Athos froze and slumped against his brother's chest. He gasped and uncontrollable sobs began to wrack his body. Aramis closed his arms around the trembling shoulders, running his fingers through the thick wet curls. He could feel, by the way his friend was giving up to his grief, that he wasn't really awake. Athos' hands were gripping Aramis' shirt like a lifeline.

They stayed like that, Aramis kneeling on the bed, Athos slumped against him. The forceful sobs finally faded and Athos' hands released their grip. Suddenly, he shot upright, pushed Aramis away, and sat back against the wall, his face displaying a mixture of terrified and shameful expressions. Aramis tried to reach a hand to keep contact with the grieving man, but Athos turned his head, hiding his eyes behind the curtain of his still long hair.

"I am sorry." He mumbled.

"Don't, Athos, please." Frustration was clear in Aramis' voice. "Why don't you allow yourself to let go when you need it?"

Athos raised his head and looked straight into the deep dark eyes.

"Let go!" He laughed bitterly. "What do you think I am? I …"

"Don't you think I understand what you are feeling? Don't you think I have my own failures, my own pains?" Aramis replied a little too sharp and regretting his tone at once.

He sat back on his haunches then bent his legs, his chin on his knees, arms encircling them. They were now facing each other like two fighting cats, hiding their suffering behind their absurd and childish pride.

"I had a dream before you had yours. I dreamt of …" Aramis began.

A lump had formed in his throat. He closed his eyes and swallowed, raising his head towards the ceiling.

"Savoy …?" Athos whispered.

"Savoy … I ..." Aramis admitted.

"It's not the same." Athos cut him. "The things you witnessed there, you …" He stopped, trying to find his words.

"We both have bad memories but we are men, only men, just men."

"I hate being so weak, so dependent, so frightened." Athos managed to explain, at last.

"You hate it, as I hated it when I came back from that border. Did you think I was weak and despicable at the time?"

Athos shook his head ready to argue but Aramis continued.

"You were there for me. You helped me. You never laughed because I cried like a child in my sleep, because I was afraid of my own shadow. So, please, let us help you. Just let us, please."

Athos stayed quiet looking at his friend with teary eyes. Aramis had clenched his hands on his knees, waiting anxiously for Athos to speak.

"I will."

It was a whisper. Aramis even thought that he had imagined it, but Athos lifted his right hand and reached for Aramis.

"I will." He repeated in a more clear voice, like a solemn vow.

Aramis took the proffered hand in his left and murmured a hesitating and questioning:

"All for one?"

Athos smiled.

"As you say…" Athos answered, the corner of his mouth curling a little and his hand squeezing his friend's fingers almost painfully.

Aramis exhaled a sigh of sheer relief.

"Sleep, now, my dear friend."

Athos curled on his side wrapping his blanket around his tired body and closed his eyes, a slight peaceful smile on his lips.

"Good night." He mumbled, adding a few seconds later … "My dear friend."

To be continued …