Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I do Not!
A/N: Don't worry. I'll do all my groveling in the author's note at the end of the chapter. But first, I want to say thank you to EVERYONE who read and reviewed the last chapter. I have the best reviewers and I love hearing from you, so please keep it up. And, to those of you who review anonymously, you may want to think of registering so that I can send you your own personal reply and answer your questions. But, until then, I need to thank those of you I couldn't thank personally: Loveslove, Nan, Holly, Mrs. Jacob Black 143, Anonymous Aussie, Penny, Toshiro Shizue, Kathy, Madeline Carlson, Blushing_Bride 89, Way too old for this, Andi, Korical, Martee, taylor, Martha Robles, TaylorD, miss Marley, say-an, and Paola!
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Previously on CFC:
Hours later, I pulled up onto Jacob's gravel driveway and let myself into the empty house. I'd spent the last few hours getting primped and waxed while Alice bought me the sexiest lingerie she could find. I also swung by the market for some groceries, knowing that the way to my man's heart was also through his stomach. I had an overwhelming sense of confidence that I hadn't had in weeks.
I got to work in the kitchen first, preparing a large roast. I knew that Jacob would be especially hungry after what I had planned for him. After I got the food in the oven, I made my way into his bedroom to set up. Rosalie had helped me pick out some satin sheets and some freesia scented candles, which I placed throughout the room. I took my little pink bag into the bathroom and pulled out a red lacy baby-doll with matching thong. I fluffed my hair and applied some red lip gloss. The mood was set. The smell of a hearty meal wafted in from the kitchen and the flickering candle light would guide Jacob into my waiting arms.
I lay down on his bed while I waited for him. Luckily, I didn't have to wait long. Ten minutes later, Jacob came home.
"Bells?" He called out with surprise in his voice. His heavy footsteps made their way down the hall. "What's with all the candles?" He asked as he approached the bedroom. He walked in, took one look at me and said, "Holy shit!"
I told myself over and over again to stick with the plan. And the plan was to get Jacob to talk. I was fed up with his secrets and I was sick and tired of feeling like I was alone in our relationship. I missed Jacob, every day. I wanted him back. I wanted us back. Alice and Rosalie convinced me that the best way to get what I wanted was to seduce it out of Jacob. I didn't necessarily agree. But, I knew it would help me get in the door, so to speak. I hoped that Jacob would be so distracted by the candles and the lack of clothing that he would be putty in my hands. And then I'd have him where I wanted him. I'd get my answers with the added bonus of torturing him a bit.
When I saw the look on Jacob's face, my resolve almost faltered. He just looked so damned beautiful. He had come straight home right after work, and was already in a state of undress by the time he got to his room. Knowing him, his boots and socks were probably strewn about the front door because his greasy, dirty coveralls were hanging over his arm and his black tee shirt had been removed and was tossed over his shoulder. Clearly, he had been in a hurry and it thrilled me to know that I was the reason for it. He had rushed home to clean up so that he could meet me at my house. Hell, even his belt was undone and his jeans were hanging precariously low on his hips. I could practically smell the sweat and musk coming off of him which was pleasantly mixed with his natural, piney scent and made him that much more manly. His naked torso glistened in the candlelight. I took a huge breath, painfully aware of the fact that my chest heaved with the effort. I couldn't help myself. Jacob was beautiful, and he was mine. And it was about time he was reminded of that fact.
Fair was fair though, because while I was busy ogling Jacob, his gaze raked over my scantily clad body. His eyes were about to bug out of his head and his jaw hang open so far that I thought it would hit the floor. I was getting the exact reaction Rosalie and Alice told me I would get. He looked so vulnerable that I almost backpedaled, thinking I would take it easy on him. But, I took a calming breath and forced myself to stick with the plan.
"You're drooling, Jake."
His mouth snapped shut at my teasing tone. I could see his erection straining against his jeans and saw the discomfort on his face. I watched him with equal parts confidence and insecurity. He looked at me as though I was the sexiest, most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. And, though he'd told me that he'd never stopped loving me, his reassurances did little to erase the weeks of heartache caused by his inability to open up to me.
I was determined to see my plan through to its conclusion. Rosalie and Alice had helped me gain the courage needed to put myself out there for Jacob, which was hard for me to do. Weeks of rejection didn't necessarily make me want to go out on a limb, unsure of how he'd respond. But, I had a fire inside me that if not quenched, would burn out of control. Jacob remained frozen, too stunned to move or speak. I bent my finger and beckoned him to me using the sexiest, breathiest voice I could muster. "Come here, Jake."
He moved as if someone had just pressed the "on" button. In two long strides he was standing beside the bed, hovering over me. His eyes were dark with lust and his breaths came in rapid succession. He dropped his shirt and coveralls haphazardly to the floor. On one hand he looked timid and shy, like he didn't know what to do with his hands. But that did nothing to disguise the ravenous hunger I saw in his eyes. That hunger spoke to me and sent tingles throughout my body and an ache between my legs. And, that's when I sprang into action.
With a speed and agility I didn't know I possessed, I jumped off the bed, grabbing his shirt from the floor and forced him to take a step back. The lustful gaze quickly turned to one of confusion as I closed the distance between us with an angry glare on my face. I poked him hard in the chest, knowing full well that it was laughable to think that I could be intimidating to this giant of a man. But then I saw real fear in his eyes and realized I wasn't so laughable after all. Maybe he really did fear losing me. I had so much pent up anger that I couldn't help but unload on him.
"You really thought it would be that easy, didn't you?" I quickly donned his over-sized shirt. Somehow, I didn't think I would be as fierce and frightening if we had this fight while I was only wearing skimpy lingerie. His shirt fell to my knees like a formless dress. I was surprised to find Jacob's expression shift from one of fear and confusion back to sheer lust. That was not the reaction I was expecting when I put on more clothes. When he didn't speak, I pressed on, taking another step forward. I placed my hands on my hips, trying my best to look as menacing as possible, which was hard to do considering I couldn't take my eyes off of his sculpted chest, which glistened with a light sheen of sweat.
"You did, didn't you?" Jacob remained mute at my questioning, which only served to infuriate me further. "You thought that after two months, TWO MONTHS, of constant evasion and having your friends babysit me that you'd just jump back into my bed without a word of explanation?"
My voice was loud and shrill. I couldn't even stand the sound of it. I hadn't planned on being so angry. I mean, Alice and Rosalie convinced me that I should play hard to get. I wanted to do that. I was going to do that, no matter how gorgeous Jacob looked. No, I was going to play hard to get until I got some answers about the last two months. But, when he approached the bed, looking sexy and clearly wanting me, I just exploded. How dare he think he could just have me when I'd wanted him just as desperately and had been denied at every turn?
I was so consumed by my explosive anger that I hadn't paid much attention to Jacob's reaction. I focused in on him and noticed that he was smiling and obviously trying to keep from laughing.
"What the hell is so damn funny?" I raged.
This time he really did chuckle. "Bells, you asked if I thought it was going to be easy jumping back into your bed. But, honey, this is my bed."
"I…but…what…" I stammered. Jacob laughed harder and closed the distance between us. He reached for me, but I took a step back, unwilling to submit to the warmth of his embrace.
"Hey," I cried out. I pushed him away, ignoring how tight and strong his chest felt under my hands. "I hate it when you do that! Don't get all handsy with me, Jake. You don't get to touch me. Not unless I say so. And, stop trying to distract me with how great you look and how good you smell. We need to talk. You can't just solve everything by playing around and assuming it's all going to turn out okay. You owe me an explanation. I need to know why you've been such a…a…an asshole since Christmas!"
"Wow, Bells. You must be pissed. You never swear."
"Jake!" I yelled angrily. I was trying desperately not to stomp my foot because I knew he never took me seriously when I did that. He'd end up laughing and I didn't think he deserved to laugh after what he'd put me through. I was done with suffering in silence. I was going to make him spill his guts. I eyed him sternly. "Be serious! We need to talk."
He took one look at me and knew I meant business. He brought his hands up, palms out in a placating gesture. "I know that, honey. I do. I want to tell you everything. I want to make it all up to you. But," he paused and glanced at the floor sheepishly. "It's just really hard to talk about anything with you looking like that."
I looked down at the frumpy shirt, which hid the sexy lingerie. I thought I looked rather boyish. There was no feminine curve in sight. I thought he was messing with me, stalling for time to think of an excuse for his behavior. "What are you talking about? I'm all covered up."
"Yeah," he replied with a sexy smirk. "And do you even realize how sexy you look in my shirts? I know you're angry with me, which you have every right to be. But, honestly, I don't know whether I should be scared of you or turned on right now." As he spoke, his hands tried to make their way to my hips, but I refused to be put under his spell. I wasn't going to back down that easily. I pushed him away again, this time more firmly.
"You know what, Jake? Forget it. If you're not going to take this seriously then I'm just going to go home." I stomped towards his bedroom door only to stop dead in my tracks at the sound of his voice.
"Wait, Bells," he pleaded with me. "Please don't go. I'm sorry. I just don't know how to act right now. I love you. And, I'll tell you everything. I promise. Just, please stay." I looked up into his eyes and found that all traces of humor were gone. He looked sad and apologetic.
I wanted to stay more than anything. There was nowhere else I wanted to be. But, what I really needed was for Jacob to show me that he wanted me there with him. When I heard the sincerity in his voice I realized that I had gotten my wish. My anger melted away. I walked over to the bed and sat down, patting the space next to me. Jacob's head hung down and he asked, "Where do you want me to start?"
"Well, how about last night. I don't remember much." I was still uncomfortable with the fact that I had almost no recollection of the events of the previous night. I vowed once again never to drink to such excess. I was lucky last night because I was with Jake. But, being the Police Chief's daughter, I knew that a lot of girls in similar situations didn't end up as lucky. I saw a fleeting blush gently stain Jacob's cheeks, which made me worry that I behaved a lot worse than I had originally thought. Jacob wouldn't have let me dance around topless, would he?
He trudged over taking his seat next to me. But, as soon as he sat down, he slipped against the satin sheets and landed with an "oomph" as he hit the floor. For someone who was typically so graceful and sure of himself, it was endearing, not to mention hysterical, to see Jacob fall on his ass. The surprised look on his face sent me into a fit of giggles.
"It's not funny," he groused adorably. My giggles grew into full fledged laughter. Jacob's frown slowly turned into a grin and soon he was laughing along with me. I nearly burst into tears, I was laughing so hard. I sank down onto the floor next to him and leaned against the bed. I could tell he wanted to pull me close. But, he seemed wary of initiating any contact after my last reaction to his advances. Had he touched me at that point, despite all my anger and confusion, I would have come undone and melted into him. No, I needed to be strong and that meant no touching from him.
We sat on the floor in silence for a while, both of us looking at the wall. I suppose I should have felt uncomfortable, but instead, it felt nice. It felt wonderfully familiar. I was with Jacob, and even if we hadn't worked through everything yet, I knew that was where I was supposed to be.
I turned my head to the side and admired Jacob's profile. He was chewing on his lower lip nervously while his brow was furrowed in concentration. It looked like he was having a hard time figuring out what to say. I sighed, "Alright Jake. How bad was I last night?"
"Last night?" he asked, thoroughly confused. I rolled my eyes, annoyed. "Yes, last night. In the library you said that you were sorry and you looked really guilty. Since I believe you when you say it had nothing to do with Shawna, I want to know what could have possibly happened to make you look like that. I mean, how badly did I embarrass myself?"
He frowned. "What? No, Bells, it was nothing like that. You didn't do anything. By the time I got to the party, you were already a happy camper. Liz told me that you'd had quite a bit to drink. You were really happy to see me, and trust me on this, I was so happy to see you too. I've missed you so much. We started dancing and I just couldn't help myself. You looked so beautiful, so hot. The way you moved, the way you smelled was just driving me crazy. I honestly wanted to get you alone so we could talk, but you just wanted to keep drinking. Luckily, I offered to walk Liz home, so you agreed to leave the party." I noticed that his cheeks flushed slightly at the mention of Liz's name. "Uh," he began tentatively. "Did you know she asked me to pose nude for her art class? I think she kind of has a crush on me."
He looked down at his hands in his lap, clearly afraid of my reaction. I couldn't hold back my grin. This was so different from Shawna. The situations didn't even compare. I knew Liz. In the short time I'd gotten to know her, I'd learned to trust her. I appreciated her blunt honesty. And, Jacob looked so adorable acknowledging that my roommate found him attractive. I couldn't resist having a bit more fun at his expense. "Oh, well, yeah, she did mention that she asked you. And, just so you know, she did have a crush on you."
He chuckled. "Yeah, I thought so. Wait…what do you mean she 'did?'"
"Hmm?" I asked coyly.
"You said that she did have a crush on me. What, she doesn't anymore?"
"Well, she met Edward today." I left the statement hanging, as though it explained everything.
"And?" he asked, clearly annoyed that he was dumped so quickly.
"I don't know what to say Jake. I guess she prefers vampires over werewolves. Some women do. I can't explain it." Jacob looked thoroughly offended.
"Well," I continued, though I was finding it hard not to laugh. "Actually, that's not altogether true." Jacob sighed in relief. "I'm pretty sure her fantasies now include both you and Edward getting all hot and sweaty with her. She asked him to pose nude for her class too. So, there you go. She doesn't prefer vampires per se. She wants you both."
"Damn right," he said triumphantly. Then his eyes widened and his face took on a mask of horror. "Wait…ew! Gross!" I couldn't hold back my laughter any longer. I burst into another fit of giggles while Jacob stared at me tight-lipped and looking annoyed.
"You're messing with me, aren't you?"
"A little bit."
"I deserve it." He smiled knowingly.
"Yep, you sure do. Now, are you going to tell me why you looked so guilty? What could have possibly happened while walking Liz home?"
He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Well, as soon as we dropped Liz off at her friend's room, you couldn't keep your hands off of me. And trust me when I say that I loved every second of it. You even pushed me up against a wall."
"I did?"
"Oh yeah. And next to that scene in the library today, it was one of the sexiest things you've ever done." I blushed and nodded for Jacob to continue. "Anyway, I ran us to your room and the second I closed the door, we were all over each other. Clothes were flying. I knew we needed to talk first, but it was like you had me under this spell. I would've done anything for you. And, I wanted you so bad. I got you on the bed and you wanted me just as much. I left you for a second to get a condom out of my wallet, and by the time I got back to bed, you had passed out cold."
"That's it? You mean I didn't dance on tables or puke on anyone's shoes?"
He smiled. "I think you've watched too many college movies, Bells. No, you didn't do anything like that." He smile grew sheepish. "But, you did kind of grope me in front of Liz's friends."
"Oh, well, that's a little embarrassing. But, in my defense, you are gorgeous. So, it's not like they could blame me for it." I chuckled. "Thank God. I thought it was bad."
Jake turned towards me, his jaw clenched. "But, I was bad. Bells, you were drunk. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that. I feel like such a jerk."
"That's why you looked so guilty? God, Jake. I wish you would have just told me. I mean, I saw you there with Shawna who was all over you. And, the moment you see me, you look like you've been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. I didn't know what to think."
"Bells, in my defense, you didn't really give me much of a chance to say anything. You were kind of…crazed. You were sexy as hell, but definitely crazed."
"Alright," I conceded shyly. "I may have overreacted. But Jake, I love you. You've been acting so weird, so cold. Then all of a sudden you're hot and then you leave me alone in bed. It's been really confusing. So, okay, I was drunk. But, I honestly don't think you could ever take advantage of me. Take me for granted, yes," I added pointedly. "Of course, it wouldn't have been the best idea to follow through on things last night. But, had I woken up naked and sweaty in your arms, I would have been confused, but I wouldn't have regretted it."
For the first time during our entire conversation, Jacob looked relieved. "Okay," I charged ahead. "So, we covered last night. One mystery is solved. But, that still doesn't explain why you've been acting so messed up towards me since Christmas. I mean, after the whole scare, I thought we were on the same page. And, then it's like you pulled the rug out from under me. You were so distant. And, I felt so alone. I need to know that when push comes to shove, you'll be by my side. That's the Jacob I know and love. I feel like I don't even know who this Jacob is."
"I'm sorry, Bells. I'm so sorry."
I leaned into him, resting my head against his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist, relishing the feel of his strong body pressed so close to mine. He stiffened a bit at my touch, but quickly relaxed. I hugged him tightly and looked into his eyes and said, "Stop being crazy, Jake. Start explaining."
He smiled at my forceful tone. "I guess I just got caught up in how you deserved so much more, and that I wasn't good enough for you…"
"Oh come on!" I pulled away from his embrace and unleashed my angriest glare on him. "You've got to be kidding me, right? This was all about you not feeling good enough? Jake, that's not like you. You sound just like I did when I was with Edward. All I could focus on was how gorgeous he was and that he couldn't possibly want poor, pitiful me. And I just felt like I wasn't worthy, like I was ugly or…"
"Whoa, whoa, hold on a minute, Bells." Jacob looked at me incredulously with a twinkle in his eye. "Hey, no, I mean…I know I'm a good-looking guy; great looking actually."
I rolled my eyes at his arrogant display. "You're such an ass."
"What?" he asked defensively. "It's the truth. Just ask Shawna."
My eyes narrowed angrily and I pursed my lips. I didn't find his flippant remark the least bit funny. And I refused to dignify his quip with a response. Jake started to fidget under my angry stare. He looked thoroughly uncomfortable. "What? Too soon?" he asked innocently.
"Jake, stop with the jokes and get serious. I'm not in the mood. Tell me. Why did you think you weren't good enough? When did this all start?"
He sighed heavily. "Well, when I talked to Charlie…"
"What do you mean you talked to Charlie? What does he have to do with this? I feel like you're starting in the middle. Things started going wrong after Christmas. What the hell happened?"
"Bells, I got scared, okay? We thought you were pregnant, and I got scared. I'm not proud of it." He hugged his legs to his chest and rested his head on his knees.
"Jake, we were both scared. But, we talked about it. I mean, I knew it wasn't something we would just get over, but we could've worked through it together. You shut me out. How could you do that to me?"
"I didn't mean to shut you out, Bella. I really believed that we would have made things work if that test would have come out differently. That's not to say that I wasn't afraid to touch you right after, because I was. I was terrified that if I even looked at you too hard you'd get pregnant."
"Yeah," I nodded sadly. "That's kind of the impression I got."
"Well," he continued. "You should know that it didn't take long for me to get over it. I love you so much. And, well, I'm a guy. I'm a hormonal, sex-crazed teenager. After a couple of weeks I figured we'd dodged a bullet, right? You were still on the pill, and I could just start using condoms again. No big deal. Well, as soon as I got that idea, I talked to Charlie."
"You mentioned that before. But, when did you talk to Charlie and why would it have any bearing on how you've been acting?"
"It was back in January, after he found out about…" I nodded in understanding and urged him to continue. "Anyway, I came over but you were out at the store or something. And, Charlie kind of cornered me. He was pissed about finding the pregnancy test, which I totally get. But, he just wanted to make sure that I didn't let it happen for real next time."
"Well," I said, my brow furrowing in confusion. "I'm not too pleased that he talked to you behind my back. But, it's not like it was an unreasonable request. I mean, it's not like it's your sole responsibility. We're both in charge of making sure it doesn't happen."
"You're right. I know that. But, he got me thinking about what our lives would've been like with a baby. And I realized he was right. If I got you pregnant, you'd be stuck. You'd feel trapped. Then you never would get out of Forks. Charlie knows that we wouldn't be able to keep our hands off of each other for long. He thinks that it's only a matter of time before a real mistake happens. You deserve the world and because of a mistake, you'd have to give up on all your dreams. And, then one day, you'd realize you resented me and you'd leave. You'd break my heart and it would be all my fault."
I wanted to scream at him, shake him and tell him how ridiculous he sounded. But, I just couldn't move. "So, I tried to push you away with one hand and hold on tight with the other. I knew you deserved better, but I just couldn't let you go. I figured if I rejected you enough that you'd just leave me and take my choice in the matter away."
He wouldn't meet my yes, he looked so ashamed. "So, Embry and Quil, they were there to make sure I didn't get out of hand with you?"
"What? God, no Bells. They were there to make sure that I didn't get out of hand with you. I told you. There hasn't been a time when I haven't wanted you. You're smart, beautiful, sexy and incredible. You're my fantasy girl, only…real. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted you to see that you could do better."
I let that sink in and then yelled, "You're an idiot!"
"I know, I know."
"No, I don't think you do, Jacob. How dare you tell me what I do or do not deserve. You were acting no better than…"
"…Edward," he finished miserably. "In a way I was trying to take your choices from you, because I was so scared. A stupid part of me thought I could push you away and you'd find someone else. But, I knew I was fooling myself if I thought for one second that I could live without you, knowing that someone else got to be with you and touch you when I couldn't."
He had a pained look on his face. "Bells, I'm in love with you. And, I know you feel the same way about me. I know I handled it badly, but I can't help but think that I'll never be enough for you."
It was in that very moment that I realized that the guy I was in love with was a complete moron. He had me doubting myself for months, thinking he didn't love me anymore, or that he didn't want as much of a commitment. Which, in and of itself was thoroughly confusing considering I was his freaking imprint. I thought he couldn't be without me. But, to find out that the distance between us was built on insecurities made me want to slap him and reassure him all at the same time. I understood where he was coming from. After all, I had been in his position before. I knew how desperate he must have felt. But, I also knew that we would never get anywhere or be able to call ourselves a successful couple if we didn't move past this.
Jacob sat next to me, his legs sprawled open wide on the floor while his head lay back against the bed. His eyes were closed. He looked dejected and utterly defeated. I crawled onto his lap, my legs straddling either side of his hips. He sat up abruptly and looked at me in surprise. He was startled by my advances. I cradled his face lovingly.
"Jacob, how could you ever think you weren't good enough for me? We're perfect for each other. We belong together. I love you so much and being without you these past few weeks has been killing me."
I leaned in and pressed my lips to his and moaned at the heated softness. His lips were so full and supple that I wanted to taste them all day. My kisses were chaste, in the beginning. I managed to entice him enough to return my kisses with equal fervor. Our passion ignited and before I knew it, Jacob had removed the shirt I was wearing and his hands began to roam freely over my body. Weeks of going without much physical contact left my whole body sensitive to his touch. His warm hands glided effortlessly over my nightgown, over my breasts, and finally onto my neck and up into my hair.
Just like I knew it would, his touch inflamed my senses. I couldn't even pull away for air. My body craved his touch too much. He responded in kind. His hands tangled in my hair and I pulled against his shoulders, pushing myself even closer to the hard lines of his body. My core brushed against his raging desire and he groaned in pleasure. His animal hunger spoke to my body. It was his to command. He expressed his need, and the honey from my core responded.
We kissed like we hadn't seen each other in years, sometimes frenzied and sometimes slow and sensuous. Finally, when our lungs were burning from lack of oxygen, I broke the kiss leaving us both panting. I kept my eyes closed, relishing the feeling of my swollen lips and Jacob's taste on my tongue. His hands loosened their hold on my hair and slowly moved down my arms. I feared that if I opened my eyes the spell would be broken. A low, angry growl from Jacob brought me back to reality.
"Damn it," he muttered. His body stiffened beneath me as he tried to get up, gently pushing me aside. In one second, it was as if he had built up a wall between us again. Everything we had talked about went by the wayside. I didn't know what had happened to make him angry, but I knew that I'd be damned if I was going to let him go that easily I clung to him, desperately to the point where he would have to physically harm me to remove me from his body. When he realized that, he sagged back against the bed.
"Jacob, what is it? What just happened?"
He groaned miserably. "Look at yourself, Bella. Look at what I just did to you and tell me that I'm good enough."
I looked down at my new, expensive nightgown and my arms and saw that they were all grease stained and dirty. I shrugged, wondering what the big deal was. Sure, the lingerie was ruined, but Alice bought it for the sole purpose of having Jacob tear it off. Though it was expensive, it was flimsy and not made to last long anyway. I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and noticed that its texture was now oily to the touch. Jacob had had his hand in my hair mere moments before. I smiled thinking what a mess I must look, albeit, an excited mess.
Jacob's head was turned to the side, his fists and jaw clenched angrily. He refused to meet my eyes. "Wait a minute," I huffed in disbelief, finally putting the pieces of the puzzle together. "You're getting this upset over a smudge? What's the matter with you? It's just dirt Jacob." I licked my thumb then ran it over the greasy line on my arm, leaving a larger smudge on my skin. "It's nothing, Jake. It comes off."
He turned his head towards me, his eyes filled with a deep sadness. "Bells, that stain is an everyday thing for me. I'm a mechanic. Even with a degree, I'm just going to be a glorified grease monkey. That's all I'll ever be. But, you're smart and creative. You want to be a writer. I'm just going to live and die in the same town where I was born. I'm not going anywhere. Just look at these," he held up his hands so that I could see his finger nails. "Do you know how many times a day I have to wash these before I see you? And, no matter what, I still can't get all the dirt out from under my nails. It's either from the grease or the dirt from the forest when I'm phased. I can't get away from it. I'm destined to roll in the mud for the rest of my life. And, now it's covering you too. It's like I'm dragging you down with me. You deserve better than this. You deserve better than to have to walk around with my grease stains all over your clothes. I reached for the stars when I found you, Bells. And you settled for me. It's only a matter of time before you figure that out. I tried to push you away to prepare myself for the inevitable."
Jacob looked miserable. But, I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably. He looked even more confused. "Jake, this is worse than I thought."
"I know, I know," he moaned sadly.
"No, I don't think you do. I can't believe this," I pointed to the stains on my clothes, "is the reason you've stayed away. Jake, a little grease and grime is par for the course when your boyfriend is a mechanic by day and a superhero by night. I love the fact that you're not afraid to get your hands dirty. It's part of what makes you human." I thought about how insecure I always felt around Edward and the rest of the Cullens. They're very perfection is what kept them separate, apart from the rest of us. Anyone would look plain and unkempt around them. But, I never had to feel that way with Jake. And I thought it was crazy that he would detest one of the things I loved most about him.
I lifted his chin, forcing him to meet my eyes and smiled warmly. "Jake, let me put things in perspective for you. A few months ago, we were fooling around in the garage. I had to leave for work at Newton's right after. Well, thanks to you, I spent the rest of the day with a giant sized hand print on my ass. I was walking around the store, helping customers, completely oblivious to the fact that it was painfully obvious that I had just been felt up. Mike Newton had to point it out to me. I was so embarrassed…at first. But, the more I thought about it, the more it kind of…turned me on."
"Really?"
I sighed. He still wasn't getting it. I looked down at his hands. They were large and strong, capable of ripping a vampire to shreds. Yet, they were also gentle and dexterous. His hands could create. The hands that brought destruction were the same hands that whittled the tiny, delicate charms for my bracelet.
I took his hands in mine and placed his palms on my cheeks. He watched me with passive curiosity. I then dragged his hands down my face, my neck, and then stopped at my chest, just above the swell of my breasts. I could feel the traces of grit and grime transferred from his body to mine. It was a part of him, and so was I. It stood to reason that the grease was, therefore, a part of me too. I just didn't know how else to explain that to him.
I inhaled deeply. I could almost taste the metallic residue of the grease on my tongue and my heart warmed. As usual, I was reminded of the makeshift garage that had become a sanctuary for me at the lowest point of my life. I would remember the countless hours watching Jacob getting filthy while putting our bikes together. That was when I started to fall in love with Jacob, even if I didn't know it at the time. I fell in love with him amidst tools, bikes, dirt and grime. So, of course I would embrace that part of him, stains and all.
And that's when I remembered a poem I'd read back when I was in high school in Phoenix. It was another lifetime ago, yet the poem had resonated deeply in my mind. I realized that if I couldn't convey how I felt enough to shake some sense into him, then maybe someone else's pertinent, and more poetic words would do the trick.
"Jake, there's a poem I want you to hear."
"Um," Jacob began tentatively. "Do you really think now is the time to give me a poetry lesson? Or, is this payback?" He looked terrified, like I was going to give him a pop quiz about it. I eyed him sternly and replied, "You know, Jacob, you're the one who's been a total ass to me for two months. I think you owe it to me to shut up and listen to what I have to say with no complaints. What do you think?"
Jacob gulped loudly and actually had the decency to look thoroughly shamed. He dropped his eyes and mumbled, "Yeah, of course. Go ahead. I'm sorry."
I had never recited poetry, publicly, to anyone. This would be a first for me. But, I didn't have the time or the inclination to worry about that. I did, however, think that it would be better for both of us if I wasn't straddling his lap while I tried to give him some insight into the depths of my feelings for him. I stood up, pulling him up along with me and we sat down on the bed together. Jacob touched the fine satin sheets and said, "You know, these sheets are kind of ridiculous, right?" I rolled my eyes, knowing Jacob was nervous. So, I excused his verbal diarrhea and nodded in agreement. I wracked my brain to remember the poem correctly. I loved it so much that I had memorized it in the hopes that one day, I'd feel, first-hand the same kind of emotions it described. But, it had been a while since I'd thought about it. I took a deep breath and began:
If I were a cinnamon peeler
I would ride your bed
and leave the yellow bark dust
on your pillow.
Your breasts and shoulders would reek
you could never walk through markets
without the profession of my fingers
floating over you. The blind would
stumble certain of whom they approached
though you might bathe
under rain gutters, monsoon.
Here on the upper thigh
at this smooth pasture
neighbor to your hair
or the crease
that cuts your back. This ankle.
You will be known among strangers
as the cinnamon peeler's wife.
I could hardly glance at you
before marriage
never touch you
- your keen nosed mother, your rough brothers.
I buried my hands
in saffron, disguised them
over smoking tar,
helped the honey gatherers...
When we swam once
I touched you in water
and our bodies remained free,
you could hold me and be blind of smell.
You climbed the bank and said
this is how you touch other women
the grasscutter's wife, the lime burner's daughter.
And you searched your arms
for the missing perfume.
and knew
what good is it
to be the lime burner's daughter
left with no trace
as if not spoken to in an act of love
as if wounded without the pleasure of scar.
You touched
your belly to my hands
in the dry air and said
I am the cinnamon
peeler's wife. Smell me. *
Jake's eyes were wide with wonder. It thrilled me to my very core to feel his gaze on me. I could see it in his eyes that he understood what the poem meant. He knew that no matter what he did, I loved him and his love for me had already marked me, left an imprint on my soul. The grease, the dirt, the stains on my clothes were just physical manifestations of that imprint.
"Jake, love is like a wound. It tears you open, leaving you bare, exposed. And, when that first initial attack heals, it leaves a scar. You can't see them, but they're there. And, just like the woman in the poem, I kind of feel like what's the point in having those scars if I don't have something to show for it. How could it possibly bother me that when you touch me, you leave a mark? You already do anyway."
"I don't know, Bells. I don't know if I like the idea of comparing our love to an open flesh wound. I mean, you wouldn't say the scars on Emily's face are proof that Sam loves her, would you? Sam will live with the guilt of how he hurt her for the rest of his life."
"No, Jake. Those scars aren't proof that Sam loves Emily. They're proof that Emily loves Sam, that despite what he is, and what he's done, she loves him unconditionally. I would never say it's the same thing. I'm just trying to make you understand."
We sat in silence for a little while. Jacob seemed to be thinking about everything I'd said. "So," he began. "No matter what, you want to be with me, right? Even if we never have a lot of money, even if I can't take you anywhere, even if every item of clothing you own gets ruined? You still want to be with me?"
"Jake, let me answer that question with one of my own. Do you still want to be with me even though I've hurt you and broken your heart numerous times? We're not perfect. We both have our own scars. But, we can't give into our insecurities anymore. I want to move past this. We've already gone through too much together to dwell on these small things. We're destined to fight forever. We're both pretty stubborn. It's kind of inevitable. But, we love each other. That should be enough."
He didn't answer me for a long time. I didn't know what else I could do or say to convince him that he could trust my love for him, just as I trusted his love for me. I fiddled with the edge of my lace top, while I waited for Jacob to say or do something.
And then I felt his gaze on me. I looked up into his eyes and my very core responded to the heat I saw. I knew right then that we had come to an even deeper understanding of one another. Gone was the sadness that had been present in his eyes for the past two months. He seemed bigger, taller, and lighter; like he could stand up straighter now that a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His dark eyes were heavy-lidded, the pupils dilated to the point where they appeared black and feral. My body hummed with anticipation.
He smirked at me, a grin of confidence that was also filled with love. He wanted me. The bulge in his jeans and the fire in his eyes proved that. There were no more doubts and no more words needed to be said.
Jacob stood up, his large body taking up the entire scope of my vision. I admired, for probably the millionth time, his strong, broad chest leading down to his chiseled stomach. His jeans hung low on the hips, highlighting the v-shaped muscle that led to his impressive manhood. His chest heaved and his eyes filled with hunger, with need. His gaze roved all over my body as I sat there, immobile and pliant.
It was like he was silently calling to me, commanding me with his body. I stood up too, drawn to the heat rippling off of his body. I reached out to touch him, to feel him under my hand. I placed my palm over his chest and felt this heart hammering in response. That one simple, almost innocent touch triggered a raging fire in our very souls.
In the next instant, Jacob closed the distance between us, slamming into me and pulling me close to him at the same time. I grunted at the impact, but the sound was swallowed by his lips on mine. His hands cupped my ass, squeezing hard. He picked me up effortlessly and I gladly wrapped my legs around his waist. He ground his arousal against my center. Our moans echoed within the small confines of his bedroom. My hands got lost in his hair as I tugged and pulled him closer, always closer so that I could devour him with my kisses.
We couldn't keep our hands off each other. Two months of denying the innate fire within us led to an out of control conflagration that threatened to consume us whole. I pulled and clawed, wild with lust that couldn't be satisfied quickly enough. His touch was just as frenzied. He grabbed, squeezed and kneaded every part of me he could reach while I was pressed so closely to his chest.
I bit and sucked his lower lip into my mouth, eliciting a sexy groan which echoed from deep within his chest. We finally broke our frantic kisses, our breathing labored due to lack of oxygen. Jacob licked and sucked at the tender skin of my collarbone, while I panted heavily, gasping for air. I threw my head back, giving him more access to my neck. I gripped his shoulder, my nails digging in and biting. This wasn't going to be gentle. This was going to be hard and rough. It was not the time for sweet caresses. This was about reclaiming each other. It was about unleashing two months worth of sexual frustration.
He continued the assault of his lips and tongue on my neck. I was confident that I'd have some slight bruising there, but I couldn't care less. It had been too long since I'd been touched that way. I welcomed any and all of his embraces. But, after a while, I grew restless in his arms. We were both wearing entirely too much clothing. I wiggled in place, pushing his hands away as I slid down his body, back to the floor. He looked confused, not understanding why I had stopped him. Instead of telling him why, I showed him.
His jeans were already undone and loose since the moment he walked into his bedroom. I grabbed him by the waistband of both his jeans and boxers and pulled. I knelt down as I pulled the fabric down his long legs until they hit the floor. He placed his firm grip on my shoulders for balance, while he stepped out of his clothes and kicked them to the side. He stood in front of me, completely naked, and he was gorgeous. I wanted to touch and explore every part of him, but the look in his eyes told me that it was not the time for that. His hunger was so intense, he nearly salivated. I slowly got back to my feet, purposefully brushing up against his erect penis in the process. He groaned at my touch and I knew I was done for. The sexy sounds he produced because of something I did made me weak in the knees. I wanted to see him, all of him. I wanted to ogle his naked, russet skin to my heart's content. He smiled when he saw the pout on my face and I quickly got my wish. He pulled down his boxers, his hard, erect penis sprung free. I just stood there, staring at his body. The hunger in his eyes sent a jolt of electricity straight to the apex of my thighs.
In that moment, we ceased to be Jake and Bells. It's like we were lust and need personified. Our bodies were in charge. They were doing all the talking. Jacob lunged towards me, wrapping me in the protective cage of his arms, and jumped onto the bed, careful to shield me from his crushing weight. I didn't even have a chance to bounce against the mattress from his throw because he was on me, around me, all over me. His lips found mine once again and we inhaled and exhaled each other's breaths like we were one body.
We were wild. I had no other word to describe it. We struggled against one another in an attempt to join, to literally melt into the other's body. I pulled and scratched. He grasped and pushed, all in an attempt to get closer, to erase any and all distance both physical and emotional that had come between us. Jacob growled impatiently and tore my lace top, ripping it down the middle. I looked on in shock as he threw the remaining scraps to the floor unapologetically. His blatant lack of regard for my expensive lingerie should have upset me. Instead, I was aroused further by his show of animal dominance, not to mention the feel of his bare chest brushing against my newly exposed breasts. My hardened nipples rubbed against his heated skin, sending tingles straight to the tips of my toes.
He palmed my breasts in his large hands. His touch was firm and masterful. He was not gentle. He pinched and squeezed my nipples, all while his tongue danced with mine. Normally we would both be fighting for dominance, never letting the other get the upper hand. But, Jacob was in full command of my body and I gladly relinquished all control. His tongue, his body, his groans promised the reward of pleasures beyond my wildest dreams. I arched into him, undulating and twisting my body so that my already sensitive core could brush up against his hardened length. I mewled, desperate for more.
He cupped my mound through the thin material of my panties, the one and only barrier left between our otherwise naked bodies. His finger slipped underneath the delicate fabric, dipping into the wetness that coated my smooth inner folds. With a deep, lust-filled groan, he wrapped his finger all the way around the material and gave it a hard tug. Just like that, my panties fell to the floor in a ruined heap. I couldn't have cared less. His fingers circled and stroked my clit and I cried out in pleasure. His kisses were rough, almost desperate with reckless abandon. It was like he couldn't wait another moment to be inside me. His hands roamed all over my body. He ran his hands up and down my calves, then up to my thighs where he squeezed and kneaded the skin almost painfully. Everywhere his hands touched set my skin on fire. I couldn't get enough of his hands on me. But, I wanted more. I always wanted more. He seemed to read my mind, because his hand finally found purchase between the velvety smooth folds of my sex.
He groaned as he pulled away, eyeing me with grateful curiosity. I knew he'd discovered my freshly waxed, naked sex. All of a sudden, his ministrations became rougher, more urgent. His hands, teeth and tongue worked together to drive me to a frenzy. We ground against each other, our passion ignited beyond containment. Honey dripped from my aching core down my thighs. His nostrils flared and I knew he could smell my growing need. In a flash, he dove for the nightstand, knocking over his bedside lamp and the alarm clock in the process. But, that didn't even give him pause. He grabbed a condom, slipped it on and in one swift motion, drove into me, pushing me into the headboard. Luckily, he had pulled me flush to his chest when he entered me so that only my shoulders and back took the brunt of the force against the hard wood. He was operating on pure instinct alone; which even in the throes of passion told him that no matter how rough he wanted to be, he still needed to protect me.
I cried out in ecstasy, loving the feel of his body finally joined with mine. My channel stretched and expanded to accommodate him. It was a little painful, just because it had been so long. But, my body quickly recognized the familiar feel of his body. I felt filled, complete for the first time in weeks. He panted, his whole body straining while he waited for me to get used to his most welcome intrusion. When I was ready for more, I nodded and he groaned as he began to rock into me with a mixture of force and finesse that had always come naturally to him.
He slammed into me, repeatedly. Every thrust pushed me further up the bed. When I got too close to the headboard, he'd roughly pull me back down and it would start all over again. My shoulders, the back of my thighs and my ass all burned from the friction ignited by the sheets. My eyes rolled back into my head as every thrust, every push into my entrance caused his pubic bone to brush and titillate my aching bud. Our moans were swallowed by our wet, hungry mouths.
Jacob was relentless, a man possessed. But, I managed to match his intensity with my own fervor. He gripped the headboard above me, using it as leverage to thrust even harder. I felt like I was going to split in two, yet I welcomed the almost brutal force of his body. Every part of my body, my skin was alive and tingling with excitement. Our skin slapped against each other. Sweat dripped down his forehead and down onto my pillow. Jacob groaned, squeezing the headboard harder. I heard the wood creak and splinter under the force. But, he never stopped. He never once stopped kissing me, touching me, or penetrating my very body and soul.
My climax was imminent. The pressure built right from my womb and spread out throughout my belly and to my very core. I was on the very brink of an eruption so powerful that I thought my heart would burst. Jacob increased his pace and I knew he was close too. Without words, we urged each other on, mentally and physically willing the other to achieve our bliss. I heard the headboard crack after a particularly powerful thrust. Jacob held me close with one arm while his other hand left the destruction of the headboard and sought the slick, honeyed essence between my thighs. His fingers circled and pinched my swollen nub and the next thing I knew I was writhing and keening beneath him as I succumbed to an explosive orgasm that left my mind numb and my throat parched and dry. It felt as if all consciousness left me and I was reduced to that small bundle of nerves that lay hidden between my legs. I felt nothing, knew nothing but the throbbing of my pulse in and around my sex. Jacob thrust a few more times before he followed me over the edge into his own oblivion. He collapsed on top of me, careful not to crush me under his weight. He moaned against my neck, then licked the shell of my ear, and sucked the lobe into his mouth before releasing it with a nibble.
We kissed slowly and sensually, which was a far cry from the reckless love-making we had just experienced. Who was I kidding? That wasn't love-making. It was pure, unadulterated fucking. We clung to each other, both of us panting heavily, trying to recover from our sensory overload. He rolled off of me and quickly disposed of the condom before lying down and pulling me onto his chest. I enjoyed the afterglow, basking in his warmth and comfort. He kissed the top of my head and played with my hair. My scalp tingled at his touch.
As I lay in his arms, my eyes wandered around the room surveying the damage. My torn and ruined lingerie lay in a heap on the floor right next to the broken table lamp. I looked up behind me and saw that the headboard suffered more damage than I initially thought. It was cracked down the center and had a huge gauge mark where Jacob's thumb had pressed against the wood. Jacob had felt the need to break, rip or tear anything that kept us from joining as one. He used the headboard as leverage to bring himself deeper, closer to me. I blushed when I thought about how Jacob was going to explain the mess to Billy. I couldn't help but smile when I saw that though the alarm clock had also fallen to the floor, it was working just fine. I supposed if it could survive being thrown directly at Seth's head by an angry werewolf, then a little fall to the floor wouldn't hurt it.
I looked back at Jacob who watched me with lazy, satisfied eyes. I smiled and said, "That was…"
"Amazing," he finished for me.
I chuckled looking around the room again. "Actually, I was going to say it was a bit destructive, but amazing applies too."
He scratched the back of his neck with a bashful smile on his face. "Yeah, I guess I kind of got carried away."
I hugged him tighter and tossed my leg up and over his waist. "Mmm, and I loved every minute of it."
We lay there for a while until I heard the oven timer go off. Perfect timing, I thought. The roast was finally done and I noticed that while we had been busy, the room had started to smell like a strange mixture of sex and savory food, two of Jacob's favorite things. I tried to get out of bed to take the food out of the oven before it burned, but Jacob stopped me.
"You stay here," he said. "I'll get us some plates and we can eat in here." He kissed me on the lips and walked out of the room butt naked.
I lay back in bed, completely sated. I couldn't keep the huge smile from my face. The night couldn't have gone any better. Jacob and I were on the same page for the first time in months. And I hadn't felt a release like that in…well, ever. Jacob knew my body, inside and out. And, it responded to him shamelessly, wantonly.
I heard the jarring clink of pots and pans in the kitchen. All Jacob had to do was take one pan out of the oven and let it rest on the stove top. It was one step. It didn't require all the noise he was making. I knew he was making a mess, but I was still reveling in my post-coital high that I just couldn't bring myself to get out of the warm, comfortable bed to help him. At least, that was until I heard a loud bang and jolted out of bed, running toward the bedroom door. I peeped out the door and asked, "Are you alright? Do I need to rescue you out there?"
"Ha ha, very funny, Bells. Just stay put. I'll be right back."
I laughed and walked back towards the bed. Before I crawled back into the warm sheets, I caught my reflection in his closet mirror and paused. I was surprised by what I saw. I had an extreme case of sex hair. It was tangled and wild, the added grease made it stick up at weird angles. I blushed at the purely satisfied gleam in my eye. And then I saw the grease stains all over my face and body and my skin flushed crimson. Jacob had left greasy handprints all over my breasts and thighs. I turned around and chuckled when I saw two perfectly formed prints on my butt cheeks.
I felt like one of those cave paintings. I was the canvas. Jacob's handprints were the art. He had wholly claimed me, mind, body and soul. I wanted him to see what he had done to me. I couldn't look away from the mirror. For the first time in my life, I was in love with what I saw. I had been thoroughly pleasured by someone who loved me above his own life. I wanted him to see how his very possession of me had left me glowing and eager. I was about to call him into the bedroom when I heard Jacob singing.
He rarely sang, but when he did, his voice was low and sultry. He joked that he didn't like singing in front of me because he didn't want to intimidate me with how good he was. The boy could carry a tune. But, I wasn't expecting what I next heard come out of his mouth. I nearly doubled over laughing.
In touch with the ground
I'm on the hunt I'm after you
Scent and a sound. I'm lost and I'm found
And I'm hungry like the wolf.
Oh yeah, I'm horny like the wolf.
Luckily, his butchering of Duran Duran was cut short when the phone rang. I didn't know who he was talking to, but the conversation ended pretty quickly. He came back into the bedroom and stopped dead in his tracks as he took in my naked form.
"Nice song, Jake."
Once he got over the shock of seeing me standing there naked, he smiled devilishly. "Thanks, I changed the lyrics up a bit at the end there. I thought you'd like it." I turned back to the mirror and watched him move up behind me through the reflection. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder. Our eyes met in the mirror. "What are you doing, honey?"
"Mmm," I leaned back into him, twining my fingers around his. "I'm admiring your handiwork." I gently pressed my backside into his now raging hard on. He groaned and pressed me closer. I felt the moisture from his tip trickling down my buttocks, towards my thigh.
"You know, Bells, we have the house to ourselves all night."
I looked back up into the mirror and saw that he was deadly serious. "We do?" I asked tentatively.
"Yep, that was Rachel on the phone. Don't ask me how this all worked out, but Billy's staying the night with a council member's family and Rachel's staying at Paul's place."
It all seemed suspiciously convenient, but I wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth. I made a mental note to bake some special treats for Billy and Rachel to show them my appreciation.
"So," he began with a mischievous grin on his face. "What do you want to do now?"
"Oh, I can think of a few things." I stepped out of his arms and turned around to face him. The room was still bathed in candlelight which illumined his naked body so perfectly. We were so rushed, so fevered before that I didn't get a chance to fully appreciate his body, at least not with my eyes.
I examined every single inch of skin, admired every muscle, every tendon and sinew. His body was a map, and I was its cartographer. I wanted to chart every freckle, every hair, and every scar. I had seen him, just like that, several times. But that time, I pretended to be an explorer, discovering a world of wonder for the first time. My hands roamed his chest, palms flat against his skin, fingers flayed wide to cover the broad expanse. There was something so sexy about him standing there, completely naked, letting me look and touch. He exuded confidence; sex. My hands slid down, gliding over every ripple, hill and valley of his abdominal muscles. I looked up at him, his eyes were closed and his head was tossed back. His arms and hands hung loosely at his sides. He enjoyed being mapped.
I walked around him, my hand never breaking contact. It traced a line from his stomach, around his side to his back. I stood behind him and massaged his shoulders then grabbed and squeezed his toned ass. I hugged him from behind, and placed gentle kisses along his spine. He shivered under my gentle caresses. I left a trail of goose bumps wherever my lips traveled. My hands rested on his stomach and he wrapped his own warm hands around mine.
I needed to feel every part of him. I let one hand stray down his belly until it met with his straining arousal. My small hand gripped and encircled his manhood. It twitched and hardened further at my touch. I stroked him, twisting my wrist while my hand traveled up and down his length. Before I could make another pass, he spun around with lightening speed, picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.
"Jake," I squealed, realizing I was completely at his mercy in that position. "What are you doing?"
He slapped me hard on the ass which made me jump in surprise and said, "I'm going to give myself a clean canvas to work on. We're taking a shower, Bells."
Cleaning our bodies wasn't the top priority for that shower. As soon as we got under the warm spray, we attacked each other with renewed vigor. The only difference was that this time we had a soapy lather coating our bodies which allowed us to slip and slide against each other effortlessly. He couldn't seem to get enough of palming my breasts in his sudsy hands.
The constant stimuli soon became too much. I needed more and the burning fire in his eyes told me that he felt the same way. Jacob had displayed his dominance with me in the bedroom, but it was my turn to take the reins.
Possessed by a physical strength I didn't know I had, I pushed against Jacob's chest, pushing him against the tiled wall. He was so surprised by my sudden assertion of authority that he had to grab onto the shower curtain rod to maintain his balance. The rod strained against his weight.
"Bells," he chuckled nervously. "What the…"
He didn't have a chance to finish that sentence, because I sank to my knees taking his virile manhood into my warm mouth. I didn't waste any time with licking or teasing to torment him. I took as much of him into my mouth as I could, and gripped the base with my hand. I sucked and stroked in a steady rhythm while the nails of my free hand dug into his firm ass.
"God damn it, Bells!" I looked up at his face and saw that his head was tossed back in ecstasy. His arms were spread wide across the small expanse of the shower stall. One hand was pressed against the tiled wall while the other remained clutching the curtain rod. I gave his member a long and lingering suck, grazing it gently with my teeth. My tongue circled and dipped into the slit of the head, which already produced the salty, sweet essence of his desire. I moaned at the taste, thinking of what it would feel like to bring him to his climax with my mouth alone.
But, I didn't get the chance that night. After Jacob felt my probing tongue, he growled loudly and with a grunt and a curse, the shower curtain rod split from the wall and crashed to the bathroom floor. I jumped up in surprise, frightened by the sound echoing off of the walls in the tiny room. I tried to resume pleasuring him, but Jacob was adamant about taking control. Ignoring the destroyed shower curtain on the floor, he picked me up and pressed me forcefully against the tiled wall.
"I'm not done with you yet, Bells," he grunted.
He ground his body against me, rubbing his erection against my slick core. The water sprayed against his back, and droplets splashed into my eyes and against my eyelashes.
Jacob repeatedly pushed my back into the cold wall as he ground into me. My hands dug into his shoulders and I wrapped my legs around his hips. His grasped my ass for extra support. His tongue ran up the contours of my neck, licking and sucking like I was a fine dessert. Our lips came together and I bit and sucked his tongue into my mouth, pulling and scratching at his shoulders to try to bring his body closer to mine. He slid his arousal up and down my dripping folds, slick with the remnants of my first release. His fingers gently pried my folds open before he drove his fingers into my dripping entrance. I cried out, loving the fact that I was being filled once again by him. He moaned when I squeezed my inner muscles to clamp down around his probing hand.
Jacob withdrew his fingers lowered me to the shower floor. I groaned at the loss of his pleasuring fingers until he spun me around so that my breasts were pinned between the wall and his body. He reached around the front of my body stroking and pinching my clit. I squirmed and keened at his touch. In the next moment, he thrust into me from behind. My hands were planted on the wall on either side of my head. His hands covered mine. His hips thrust and pushed into me in a frenzied desperation. I was about to explode from the friction of his shaft brushing up against my sheath with every stroke. But, that wasn't fast enough for him. I could tell he was about to lose all control and he wanted us to come together. He increased his punishing pace and pinched and pulled on my clit sending us both into another orgasm.
I was too weak to walk. Jacob picked me up in his arms and carried me to his bed. We both had huge, very satisfied grins on our faces. That was until we realized that we'd done it again and had sex without the extra security of a condom. Jacob was ready to beat himself up over it, but I assured him that I had been taking the pill religiously even though we had been apart. And, since I hadn't taken any antibiotics that could affect the pill's potency, I felt we were relatively safe. We vowed that we would try better later and agreed that maybe we would have to put a moratorium on shower sex, just in case.
I realized that Jacob would have a lot of explaining to do to Billy in the morning, not that I think he cared one bit. He tucked me under his sheet, left the room, and came back with a plateful of the scrumptious pot roast I'd made. We sat on his bed and ate and talked just like we did on our road trip home from Jacksonville. After we finished eating, we lay back down, just enjoying the warmth of each other's body. I was riding an amazing high. I had My Jacob back and I knew that nothing would ever come between us again.
"I'm going to be bruised tomorrow," I mused. My muscles ached pleasantly and I knew my back would be sore from the punishment inflicted by the cold bathroom tiles. I kissed Jacob's chest and hugged him close.
"Really?" he asked concern all over his face.
"Don't worry. It was so worth it."
"I wasn't too rough with you, was I?"
I looked him in the eyes and asked, "What would you say if I told you it wasn't rough enough?"
He gently pushed me aside and jumped out of bed running towards his door. "Hey, where are you going?" I asked. I was completely confused at this change in behavior.
"I'm going out to the garage," he replied.
"Okay…why?"
"Because, it sounds like you're going to need your helmet for round three."
A/N: * "The Cinnamon Peeler", by Michael Ondaatje
Yes, I know. I suck…totally. But, at least I got this in right under the 2 month mark. I know that's not much consolation, but trust me, this chapter kicked my ass. I've worked long and hard on it, and remember, I don't get paid for this. So, I hope you all enjoyed it, despite the long wait.
I've decided to update my profile page with status updates. I refuse to post a chapter that turns out to be an Author's Note. I know how much that sucks. But, unless you send me a review or PM, I had no other way of telling you that I was still working on the chapter or give you an ETA of when I would be posting. So, if it's been a while since I've posted, make sure you check my profile page for more info.
I want to thank my beta/best friend Christine for all her help. And, I want to give a special shout out to Crazily-Addicted for ALL of her support and encouragement. Thanks for letting me bounce all my ideas off of you. You should all check out my "Favorite Stories" page for her stories. If you love a hot, grown up Jake, then you'll love Unforgettable.
And, since I'm giving people a shout out, you should also check out leelator's How to Seduce a Werewolf. Speaking of whom, leelator has nominated CFC for an Underdog Award for Best Foot Popping Kiss! I'm really excited about it. So, please check out this link:
community(dot)livejournal(dot)com(backslash)theair(underscore)thesun(backslash)55775(dot)html
If you like the story please vote for it, and nominate some of your favorite J/B stories. God knows us Wolf Girls could use the love!