Chapter 36

When you're little, night time is scary because there are monsters hiding right under the bed. When you get older the monsters are different. Self doubt, loneliness, regret. And though you may be older and wiser, you still find yourself scared of the dark. Sleep. Its the easiest thing to do; you just close your eyes. but for so many of us, sleep seems out of grasp. We want it, but we don't know how to get it. But once we face our demons, face our fears and turn to each other for help, night time isn't so scary because we realize we aren't all alone in the dark. In The Midnight Hour; Meredith Grey

"'cause something destroyed this elevator and now we're stuck in here." Cristina said, her voice got louder by the word and more hysteric by the end of the sentence. "This is just great." Cristina whined, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Better you stop whining. We're gonna be a while and I don't have the nerves to be listening to you whine all the time." Alex said to her. "Oh, Evilspawn. You don't say." Cristina back, not in the least affected by his harsh comment. "Hey, how about we all calm down. I think we're gonna be awhile so it's best if you tried not get at each other's throat." Derek's voice sounded calm and collected in this situation. Meredith admired him for it. She was freaking out a little. She and little, confined spaces aren't doing so well. She was focusing on controlling her breathing. In and out. In and out. She leaned her head against Derek's shoulder, searching for comfort.

Derek noticed what was going on.

He softly murmured 'Sh, it's going to be alright, Mer. You're okay.' He ran his hand over her shoulder. After a few minutes, Meredith had calmed down but they were still stuck in here.

"Has anybody got a phone or something? We might wanna try calling someone." Derek suggested.

"McDreamy has spoken." Mark laughed loudly.

Meredith, Addison and Derek were looking at him in disapproval. Izzie chuckled lightly in affection. Meredith only rolled her eyes at that. She knew Izzie was doing this to freak her out. "Mark." Derek hissed warningly. "Guys, seriously, we need to call someone. This is so not the right place or the right time to do this." Burke interjected. "He's right. Richard needs to know that his elevator is stuck and we're trapped inside." Addison was on Derek's side as well. Cristina looked at hers only to discover that her battery has died.

"Crap, mine's dead." She told them. "Here, use mine. It's working although I don't think the reception is very good down here." "Well, trying wouldn't hurt would it?" Derek was optimistic.

"Well, no." Meredith agreed to the neurosurgeon's suggestion.

"I have something to tell." Thatcher Grey said as his family sat on the kitchen table, summoned. Each had a plate right in front of them, they were about to have dinner. Lexie looked up knowingly. He's finally saying something about his daughter, his third daughter, the one he left for them. She had kept her mouth shut for the time being. But now apparently, he was ready to tell the truth about it. Lexie was relieved about that. The Molly of baby Laura shared a view with her sister. She was living with them until everything was sorted out and Laura and Molly would be ready to move to overseas to an Army base where her husband Eric, who got shipped out, lives. "Where is the formula?" She suddenly asked as Laura began to cry and she remembered that she hasn't been fed yet.

"It's right there at the kitchen counter, Molly." Susan answered the question of her youngest daughter and pointed toward it.

Molly saw on her face that she had no idea what this was about, absolutely no idea. "Ah, got it. Thanks, Mom." She said she fed Laura via bottle. Thatcher cleared his throat, with that he turns the attention back to him and what he will them. "I made a salad and a pot roast." He then said.

"We know that, we can see that." Lexie said, if it wasn't in this situation this might have been funny.

"I made it. We all know you're a lousy cook, Thatch." Susan reached over to his hand and pressed it softly. Well, if she keeps doing that after dad spills his secret-y secret … Lexie shook his head and asked: "Who wants dinner?" "Me." Susan exclaimed, she was elated to spend some quality time with her daughter as long as she was in Seattle. "So, Lexie, tell me how you've been? How is life treating you at Harvard?" She asked. Lexie swallowed down the food before starting to talk. "It's been great, actually. We've been studying a lot for the upcoming exams and then I'll be set for an internship at Massachusetts General Hospital. I'm really looking forward to it." Lexie explained.

"You got the spot at Mass Gen? You've been accepted into the program? How great is that? That's amazing."

Susan smiled proudly.

"This is my daughter, you are making me proud, Lex." She praised her girl. She got up from her chair and hugged Lexie who seemed to be taken by surprise by that.

"Fantastic. Congratulations, Alexandra. I've always known you could do this." Thatcher said his congratulations as well. Molly smiled at her older sister in silence. She gave her an almost imperceptible nod of acknowledging. A few minutes into the dinner, Thatcher stood up. He looked like he wanted to announce something.

"I have to confess something."

He knew he had to tell his family at some point.

"You didn't cheat, did you?" Susan asked nervously as she fumbled with her napkin.

"No, no, no, I didn't. It's nothing like that." Thatcher replied. "I love you, Susan, I would never cheat on you. I promise." He stammered. He knew there was no way back after saying these words. "So what is it?" Susan asked, confusion noticeable in her voice.

"I … have another daughter."

Deathly silence was in the room that put Thatcher more and more at unease. Molly and Lexie both didn't say anything. They stayed quiet. "You have a daughter?" Susan quietly asked. "And you never said anything before?"

"I never said anything, I know. The reason I am talking now …" He was glancing toward his *oldest* daughter.

"… that I met her. My daughter, I met her when she was in the hospital."

"What about a paternity test?" Susan's voice shook visibly. "We did one and the test results clearly showed that Meredith Grey is my daughter." Thatcher revealed part of the truth. "Why did you do the paternity test at all?" Another question. "Dr. Montgomery and Dr. Bailey talked to me about it. Meredith has the same last name as me, and she kind of requested this. Before the surgery, she was the intern on Molly's case. She noticed that you had the same last name as her. At least, that's what they told me. She's a doctor at Seattle Grace Hospital and apparently, she has some medical issues. Fact is that I have a daughter, Meredith Grey." He concluded. There was tension in the room, they all felt it building up. Susan tensed after Thatcher's revelation, and she let go of hand in shock.

Thirty years of marriage and he never said anything.

How could he do this? To her and the kids and his child? What about her? She was also thinking about a little girl growing up without her dad. She should have known this. If she'd known this, she would have pushed him to be a part of her life. Susan didn't know how to react to that revelation. She would have loved to say that they would get over this but she wasn't so sure. It's been thirty years … thirty years in which he could have said something.

"You have a daughter, Thatcher and you haven't told me until now?" Susan screeched in disgust.

Thatcher looked away. Lexie stopped eating, she had no more appetite as she watched her parents fight. Molly looked over to Lexie for a moment. In this moment, Laura woke up from her nap and starting wailing loudly. Immediately, Molly rushed to Laura and soothed her so that she would go back to sleep.

But the loud discussion wasn't doing anything good to the whole situation.

"Susan, please let me explain this to you …" Thatcher tried to say something.

"You know what guys, Lex and I will go for a walk, Laura needs the quiet and you two have the house, you can fight all you want." Molly stayed calm and collected as her mother would normally be but not right now. Right now, Susan Grey was infuriated with her husband's poor decision-making. "Come, Molly, they don't hear you right now, they're too absorbed in their own problems right now." Lexie stood up and walked through the door. She needed to get fresh air. And a walk would do her good. Why couldn't it be just normal? A normal day with her family, that's all she wanted. But her father had done this. He had another daughter who wasn't that lucky as she was. Who didn't grow up with a loving family. But she also didn't wake up and discover one day that her whole life was a lie. Like Lexie. "So …" Molly spoke tentatively. "What are you thinking about this mysterious girl?" She asked. Lexie shrugged. "Honestly?" She asked. "I don't know. It came pretty out of the blue. But what's shocking is that our mother never knew about this." Lexie said as she pushed the stroller with Laura in it.

Laura knew nothing about what happened.

She giggled happily as she played with her stuffed animal. Laura had very light hair in comparison to Lexie whose hair was darker. Laura's hair matched her mother's hair. Her niece was just so adorable.

It pained her that she wasn't around so much to see her grow up. The siblings walked down the street as it began to drizzle.

"It's raining again." Lexie noted as water dropped onto them.

"It's Seattle, Lex. What did you expect? There are only a few sunny days every year. It's the capital of rain coast, some people say." Molly noted. "I lived here, Mol. It just takes a while to get used to it, I mean." Lexie explained.

"I lived a while away, first for college, then med school." She trailed off.

"Sadly, I missed you, Lex. I missed my big sister." "How do you think she is?" Lexie suddenly asked. "Our sister? You're talking about her again?" "What do you mean, again? Aren't interested in meeting her, just to see how she is?" Lexie asked in disbelief. She cared about her unknown sister. She wanted to get to know. "I don't know, Lexie. I like my life as is. But yeah, when she agrees to meet us, I wouldn't say no. But she might say no to all of this. From what I heard she did not grew up as we did."

"Yeah, well it's kind of our father's fault. He left her mother before she born." Lexie told her.

"How do you know?" Molly scrunched her brows as she looked at her sister. "I confronted dad when you were in the hospital. I needed to know." Lexie told her.

Thatcher and Susan were still fighting over what has happened to them. Thatcher could tell that Susan was not happy about this. "You've been hiding this the whole way through our marriage? What about your child, Thatcher? You have a freaking responsibility to her. If hadn't run and maybe sorted this out with your ex-wife your children they could have had an older sister, your child could have grown up having sisters, a family." Susan couldn't believe what she heard. How dare he lying to her all the time they've been married.

He had so many chances to tell her that he left his former wife who was having his child, his child.

He could have done things different. How can a father leave alone his own flesh and blood? But apparently, it's possible. "I couldn't stay. She didn't want me to stay, at least I think she didn't. She had Richard. She was cheating on me with him. She was at the hospital non-stop, even when she was supposed to be on maternity leave. The hospital always came first. So I left. I broke up with her, I send her the papers, she signed and I signed and I was out of her life. Yes, she was pregnant at that point, seven months or something but I couldn't stay." He defended himself and his actions.

"Not even for the baby?" Susan called out, exasperated.

Thatcher shook his head.

He knew he had been acting selfish, really selfish and that the baby, Meredith, was the innocent victim here.

"What did you do?" Bailey asked as looked through the little space between the elevator doors, looking back and forth between those who are trapped in there.

One of the phones had worked and they have been able to phone for help. It stopped in between two floors. "Nothing, we did nothing." They all answered in synchrony. Bailey huffed. Then she turned to two people on the elevator. Meredith guessed she was going to ask Derek what he did to make the elevator stop. "What did you two do?" Bailey picked out Derek and George 'cause they're always on it when it comes to stopping elevators. "Are you going to get us out of here anytime soon?" Meredith wanted to know. "We're working on it." Bailey shortly replied. "Everyone okay down there?" Was her next question.

"Yep." Cristina answered first, followed by the others trapped in this elevator.

"We're all good, just bored out of our minds." "Are we getting out of here anytime soon?" Someone asked again. "Like I said, we're working on it." Meredith turned around to Derek.

"This is all your fault, yours and your obsession for elevators. This is you and your freaking obsession with elevators." Meredith growled. All had wide smiles or smirks on their faces. This was so funny to watch. It was hilarious. Derek took a peek around and saw all choking back a laugher.

"Oh, god." The neurosurgeon murmured to himself.

"This is absolutely downright embarrassing." He looked over at Meredith who was quietly laughing herself.

Luckily, nobody heard him saying that. After a while no one said anything. "Let's play a game." Meredith suddenly suggested. Everyone including Derek was looking at her as if she had lost her mind. But she hadn't. "Meredith, are you really serious with suggesting that?" Cristina asked, frowning. "Everyone says something about themselves, something nobody knows … come on, it is going to be fun." "More like torture." Cristina mumbled. Meredith shot her glance. "Cristina starts." Meredith's eyes twinkled. Derek loved to see her so happy.

"Let's play Truth or Dare. Who wants to start?" Collective groans could be heard from the attendings.

They were all trapped and although maintenance was working on fixing the problem, they'd be stuck in here for the next few hours. George wanted to do something about the boredom that was obvious to everyone that was only remotely observant.

"Meredith wants to start." Cristina exclaimed as she looked at her friend.

"Bite me." She shot back with fake anger in her voice as she forced to volunteer to start. Cristina only grinned. "So go Grey." Mark smirked at his brother's girlfriend. "I never said I wanted to start. Cristina is the one who started this." "This is just great." Izzie's voice sounded muffled as she talked to George. "Mer." Derek softly nudged Meredith's arm. "Oh, really Derek?" Meredith hissed. "You're supposed to be on my side." "You're supposed to be on my side." Alex mimicked. For most of the time he was okay but at some point he landed a dumb remark. "Just do it. It can't be that bad. I'll go next or something." "I am afraid of tarantulas or any kind of spider for that matter. They just freak me out. It's your turn, Cristina. Do you choose truth or dare?" She directed the question to her best friend to seemed to be out to gang up against her for the time being.

Cristina seemed to ponder this question for a moment.

"Dare." She then answered. Meredith grinned sheepishly. She had something in mind that would freak both Derek and Cristina out and probably even Burke. "This is going to be fun." Meredith smiled at her person, then her gaze landed on her soon to be husband.

"Why are you looking at me?" Derek wanted to know. "So you chose dare." She said.

"Yeah, was that a bad idea?" Cristina asked back, getting an uneasy feeling in her stomach that was telling her that she maybe should have chosen truth instead of dare.

"Kiss Derek." "What?" They both sounded equally shocked. "Meredith …" Derek tried to talk her out of it. "Hey, it's a game. And I am with you, so nothing's going to happen except that it's funny. Also, you wanted to go next. You said it. And this is you and Cristina in one." Meredith was pretty amused by the current situation. "Wait, what?" Burke did not like this at all.

"Shepherd is not kissing my girlfriend." He retorted as he glanced at Meredith fiercely.

"Oh come on, don't be a coward, Cristina and as for Burke, I am watching them closely. So you have absolutely nothing to worry about." Meredith assured him, while trying to suppress a giggle. Derek just stared at his soon to be wife in shock and desperation. He couldn't believe it. She was ganging up against him. "You want me to kiss Yang of all people?" Derek sounded horrified as did Cristina and Burke. At least the feeling was mutual. Meredith nodded. "This is part of the whole dare part, Derek. Just go with it." "So you're okay with me kissing other women?" He asked, apparently to wake the jealousy in her. "No, of course not. Derek!" Meredith exclaimed scolding him as she hit him on the arm, slightly.

"Ouch." He rubbed his arm.

"You started it." His soon to be wife looked to the ground.

"So: no kissing other women?" He wanted to be sure that she meant it. Meredith nodded in reply. "… which means I can't kiss Cristina." He landed a success.

He grinned. He gave high five to Cristina who happily returned it this time. "Thank you Derek, for making this so clear for everyone." Cristina replied to Derek's conclusion. Izzie suddenly complained. "People, this is no fun when everyone cops out on the dares."

"I agree." George said with a somewhat high-pitched voice.

"You really want to do this, Lexie?" Molly asked as Lexie prepared to leave. "Yes, we have an older sister, Mol, I know she's probably not interested in meeting us but I am gonna try and be a sister to her when she lets me. I want to get to know her." Lexie said eagerly.

Molly didn't want to demotivate her older sister but she feared that Meredith wouldn't be very easy to get to know.

"You really are one hundred percent sure about this, Lexie?" Molly raised her voice to get her sister to listen to her. "Molly, I know what I am doing and if she rejects me, then at least I know that I've tried and that that's more than our dad has ever done for her." Lexie was looking at things from her different perspective, probably 'cause she has heard the ugly details. "Why don't we just …" Molly tried. "No, I want to get to know her. I still can't believe it. But yes, I want to meet her and I think I already her. By accident I told her indirectly that I don't even want to meet her. I mean I was hurt and angry and I most certainly wasn't thinking clearly." Lexie said rigorously.

"I want to make this right, I want to try. If she doesn't want, it's on her. Although I can't blame her if she doesn't want anything to do with me." Lexie Grey was walking through those hospital doors. She wanted a chance to talk with her older sister.

She was aware that she probably would yell or something. Her father told her that she didn't take the news very well, that he had chosen Molly and her instead.

But she took a leap of faith and hoped it would work out alright.

When they exited the elevator, Meredith was looking forward to a nice bubble bath with Derek. As they walked through the lobby, Meredith noticed a young woman standing there, maybe two or three years younger than her. She was looking around nervously, as if she was looking for someone. She seemed to wait for someone.

Meredith hasn't really paid attention until she saw that the brunette woman walked over to her.

"Are you Meredith Grey?" She asked as she saw Meredith, Meredith noticed she had a nice and open smile. She was doing the exact things with her hands as Meredith when she was nervous. Meredith noticed that instantaneously. "I am." Meredith said. She knew this woman and she just couldn't place her. She racked her brain to connect the dots but so far she was not very successful. All she knew was that she's seen her before. "I'm Lexie." The brunette woman introduced herself and held out her hand.

This was weird.

Meredith couldn't help but think that she has heard that name before.

Lexie?! As in Lexie Grey, Thatcher's daughter?

"You're Lexie." Meredith said, repeating her name. Lexie seemed like a nice person from what she could tell. She looked like she wasn't going to give up or let go something. She seemed You look familiar, is it possible that I may have seen you before?" Meredith asked cautiously.

"I'm Lexie Grey. We're sisters, half-sisters technically and I have thought this through and I'd really like to get to know you. I've had these dreams about my big sister ever since I knew that there was someone to meet that is your older sister and … I'm rambling, I'm sorry and I am just super excited and super nervous about meeting you." The brunette woman rambled, her hands did the same thing Meredith does too when she's nervous.

Derek's eyes darted in between the two women. They both ramble. Also, she seemed pretty tenacious on trying. She had this look in her eyes that she wouldn't give up just because it will be difficult! A determined face expression was covering her face.

It's something he instantly noticed.

Meredith looked at her in confusion. What did this girl say about her? That they were sisters?

Lexie.

She remembered the name. Lexie was the one who goes to med school, she was the smart one and she also said that her father was crazy proud about her, Molly had told her when she was on her case when they did the balloon procedure to make sure her baby's lungs develop properly. Her baby has been treated for a diaphragmatic hernia.

She'd been the intern on that case.

Meredith remembered that, she remembered what she told her. That was the first time she suspected that this woman was her sister. When she said she had an older sister, Meredith didn't let on that she suspected that she two sisters. Not only one.

Derek was watching Meredith, he was waiting for her to reply.

But at first, Meredith seemed too shocked to even think about answering. Derek softly nudged her shoulder. "Sister?" She got out. Lexie nodded eagerly. She could read from Meredith's face that she has not expected this. "You're coming to this hospital just to tell me you're my sister?" Meredith asked flabbergasted. This wasn't how she had imagined her evening would go.

"Look, I can see that you try to be nice or something but I've had a long day." Meredith couldn't think of another answer. "For the past hours, I have been stuck in that elevator and I am forward to get home. I am sure you are a person that is easy to like but for me you are the reminder of everything didn't have. I know this sounds like I am a bad person but I am not. I've been just through a lot of crap." Meredith rambled as well, her tired nerves were embarrassing her badly. Lexie glanced at her older sister and scanned her. She was thin, had blonde hair and well, she seemed likeable. But she didn't want to get to know Lexie.

And it hurt her.

She didn't know how much she wanted an older sister until she got told that she wasn't wanted. She figured that Meredith must be feeling the same way about her dad.

"I am sure you are sweet and nice and friendly but I don't have a sister. I'm an only child. You're just not a person I want to know or get to know." Meredith saw that her words hurt Lexie but she just couldn't do it. All she could do was run. Run, her mind screamed at her but her feet were like cement. Derek was talking to her but she wouldn't listen.

Running has always been her first instinct when something like this happens.

"Meredith." Derek said. "At least listen what she has to say."

"I don't have a sister." Meredith had tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry but I don't have siblings." She repeated as she looked over to Lexie.

"It's probably better if I go." Lexie stammered helplessly. Molly had warned her.

Maybe she should have listened instead following her stubbornness. Meredith hated her, or the idea of her. Lexie wanted her sister to like her but she was now walking out of this with tears brimming in her eyes. Why was she being so emotional about this? She did have a good childhood.

Derek was driving them home. Meredith's head leaned against the headrest and Derek was concentrating on the traffic. It was late. It had taken maintenance hours to repair the elevator. Derek has seen that Meredith had been tired in the end. She had been trying to cover it up but he could read her like a book. "You tired?" Meredith's soft voice sounded through the car. Derek was glancing over to her, he laughed quietly. It wasn't exactly raining but it was drizzly. "It's been a long day. I am a little exhausted, mostly from the elevator." He snickered suppressed. Meredith nodded thoughtful but stayed silent. "You know, Richard, he cares, Meredith." Derek slowly said, cautious. He was aware that this most certainly won't go well with her. Meredith could act a little intense when she was surprised by something like this.

"You want to talk about this now, Derek?" Meredith groaned instantly.

She hoped that it could have waited. He nodded, his fingers were tightly gripping onto the wheel.

"Well, he didn't care when I was a kid. He didn't know, Derek. I would have thought Ellis told him. Maybe she would have told him when he had chosen her … I don't know."

"Did he choose Ellis?" Derek asked, couldn't help but recognize the similarities between the stories, only that he chose Mer in the end. "No, why would he do that? He stayed with Adele who was the safer choice. Let's face it, my mother, nothing wrong with being safe. So he chose Adele although she begged him not to. I saw it, I only remember bits and pieces but I saw it." Meredith elaborated without him asking that much.

"You saw him breaking up with her?" Derek asked shocked.

"And I did the same to you. I broke things up with you 'cause it was the right thing to do, trying to work on my marriage. I've been Richard in that scenario. Now I get it." "Two men have chosen others above me." Meredith remarked.

"Don't say it's not true, Derek. I begged you to choose me, pick me, love me and you still went back to her and my father, well more like sperm donor since he was never around to watch me grow up and now had the nerve to show up and act like we could be a family again? Where was he twenty-seven years ago?" Meredith ranted, she didn't admit it but she was hurt by her father's actions. "You have got to stop pushing others away." Derek told her in serious voice. Meredith avoided his gaze. She did not dare to look at him. "Richard … I don't whatever history you two have but if you are being honest, he is the only father you ever had. "I don't have a father, Derek. That is the difference between you and me. At least yours was a dad to you, he did things a dad is supposed to do, I … no one ever took me camping nor taught me how to ride a bike. I did these things on my own. All I had was my mom. And now it's you and Cristina. These are the only persons I have." Meredith said emphatically. Derek sighed, this was getting them nowhere.

He knew from experience that this was a touchy subject for Meredith but at some point she needs to face the truth.

"There is no point in denying that, Meredith. You did the same to the girl in the hospital lobby. She just wanted to talk to you." Derek said as they were standing in the kitchen, for one fighting.

"I know. I know she just wanted to talk but all I could …"

"Meredith, you deserve to have a family. And she is …" Derek tried to get her to listen but for such a tiny woman she could be really stubborn. "She's what, blood-related? That does not make her my sister. I don't have siblings. I am an only child, I grew up that way." Meredith shot back. "You didn't even let me complete me sentence." She told him in a harsh voice.

"What are you saying?" Derek asked confused.

"I did let you complete … didn't I?" He asked.

"No! You cut me off when I was talking about what I was thinking when she confronted me." Meredith bit back. Derek leaned with his back against the sink. Meredith was standing near the kitchen table.

"Would you please hear me out? Then we can go back to fighting all day, I have no problem with that, really."

"It's evening, Mer." He reminded her softly.

Meredith huffed. "I know. Lexie's had a perfect childhood. I mean I don't really know …" Meredith started disparagingly but Derek scowled dismissively. Meredith frowned. She'd seen and registered Derek's reaction. "See, Mer, you don't know. You can't just assume someone had a perfect childhood just because they aren't as screwed up as …" Derek wasn't able to finish the sentence 'cause Meredith interfered.

"… as I am?! Just because I was more dark and twisty during my internship it doesn't mean I am screwed up. Yes, tequila and sleeping around were my coping mechanisms but Derek, I grew up. You proposed. We're getting married. Or are you having second thoughts?" When she said that her voice quivered, in this moment, she was vulnerable, Derek was seeing this. She sounded defeated. Maybe she'd given up hope that the universe would ever let her be happy. The universe was just screwing with her. "No, of course I don't regret my decision to propose, Meredith. It was the best decision in my life and one of the most important ones. I'm as sure as the time I decided I wanted to become a neurosurgeon."

Meredith's eyes were focused on him.

"Which is a lot I hope?" Meredith did not dare to hope in case all comes crashing down on her and leaves her completely destroyed. "Which is like a hundred percent. Just because we're arguing it doesn't mean this will be the end of us." Derek told her reassuringly.

"Good, because I don't want us to end." She said, her voice small and despondent.

Her eyes were a bit watery.

Derek knew all people she ever cared about left at some point. He did, too. When he chose Addison, he left Meredith. Even if they got back together after the bomb scare.

"So you still love me?" Meredith asked, her voice shook a little.

Derek looked at her for long moment, he was taking her features in. "Yes, Meredith, I love you. Married couples, they fight. It's normal. We will fight and then we'll break it up and apologize. Fighting is vital in a relationship as long as there isn't too much fighting." He chuckled lightly. "And this isn't a fight. It's simply a heated discussion." He assured her.

Meredith nodded, now that she knows that he isn't going to break up with her. Her damned issues, she thought. Why was everything like this, every fight they had, she thought he was breaking up with her. Why is she always thinking that?

"It's just that when we fight, I have the feeling as if you're breaking up." "But I'm not." "I … I can't describe it." Meredith whispered, she felt like an complete idiot for thinking that.

"I have abandonment issues, Derek. I need you to promise me you won't just leave."

Derek nodded. "I won't. Scout's honor."

And by any means, you had your fair share of things that had to do with me being that screwed up, Jackass." She mumbled to herself. "Yet here you are calling me a jackass." He accused in disgruntlement. "While I just want you to have a family because you deserve one and that's all you got – I know you're think you're a burden to anyone in your life. Cristina once told me when we were fearing for your life. You have issues, yes but facing them is an important step. Let's start with meeting your half-sisters. I mean they're probably as shocked as you are. But they're trying." "But I am not ready." Meredith argued back. "Uh yeah, when will you be ready? Maybe fifteen years from now?" Derek threw back, he wasn't in a good mood right now.

Meredith wasn't either.

"You're exaggerating. I just need time to process. This is all going way too fast to even notice what's going on. I just started to work, the intern test is in four days, I am way behind in logging time in the OR and then I have all this personal crap going on. Plus, I have a routine appointment with Burke scheduled to control pacer settings next week. There is no time for meeting blood relatives I have nothing in common." Meredith paused, she hated fighting with Derek.

Derek calmed down when he listened to her talking about her appointment with Burke.

"When is it?" He asked.

"When is what?" Meredith played dumb. "When is your appointment with Burke to control your pacemaker setting?" He questioned gently.

"Tuesday, I think." Meredith answered.

"I'll clear my schedule." Derek said after receiving an answer. "You don't have to do this, come with me every time I have a follow-up. I mean that's probably gonna be like all three or four months." "Meredith, you do not need to talk me out of this. I know what I've gotten myself into and I think as long as we're together we'll do this even if you need an ECHO every three or four months. I really don't mind. My schedule's flexible and I love you." He said, he slowly came nearer to Meredith.

"Your choice but Derek, don't tell me afterwards that you're running late and all. That you are running so late that you hope that by some miracle one of your patients is a no-show. That you are way behind your stuff because if you're gonna do this, say it now."

"Meredith, I promise you I won't be an ass." He said.

"Still, I don't know why you won't make peace with Richard." He prodded. Meredith turned her head toward him. "No! I don't need a father figure. I've been fine without one my whole life and guess what, I am still here." Meredith told him, a sad laugh escaped her lips. Derek saw tiredness edged across her face. "Meredith, you don't have to do it tomorrow but at least think about talking to him so you can get on with your life."

"Just stop trying to fix my mistakes, okay? Just leave them." Meredith couldn't take it anymore.

This evening was just tiring and exhausting. With that she turned around and walked upstairs. "I am going to bed. Goodnight." Meredith called down before she laid down on her side of the bed. She pulled up the blankets and crouched beneath them, she was welcomed by immediate warmth spreading through her body and she finally relaxed. Derek heard her going upstairs but he stayed downstairs. He figured that he wasn't the one she wanted to see right now. Coward, a voice in the back of his mind screamed at him. So he quietly walked up the stairs. After changing into his clothes for the nights, he laid down next to her. Meredith didn't budge. This fight totally wreaked havoc with their plans.

He knew Meredith wanted to spend this evening with him but he had ruined it.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he switched off the light so that they were in the dark.

"Quit it, Derek." Meredith gave back, she wasn't turned to his side. "Do you want to take your mind off it?" He asked cautiously. "No." Meredith answered. "Do you want me to go?" Meredith shook her head. Derek felt an immense relief running through his body.

She wasn't throwing him out. He thought he couldn't sleep but somehow he fell into a dreamless sleep only to wake up to an empty bed. Meredith was still asleep. He wasn't sure if he should wake her up or not. He rubbed his eyes and squinted. He was so tired. It was 5:30. They had to be at work soon. He groaned as he got up and walked into the bathroom.

In the next morning, Derek was already up when Meredith got up and entered the kitchen. "Good morning." He mumbled sleepily as he took a sip from his coffee. "I didn't want to wake you, you looked so peaceful." Meredith chortled. But besides the sound she didn't say anything, not even a good morning. Derek frowned. He hadn't anticipated that it would be like this. Apparently, he hadn't thought about a lot of things. "So now you don't speak to me?" Derek asked lightly. Meredith didn't react. "Sometimes boyfriends can be jerks but that doesn't mean you stop talking to them. You get that I am saying sorry, right?" He tried for another time.

"I thought you were gone, to the hospital or something, the best was empty when I got up. So I thought …"

"I left." Derek completed. "I have never done this before." Meredith finally admitted as she looked up from the sandwich she was preparing for herself. "You have never done this before." Derek repeated as a light lit up in him. Meredith does not know how the whole fighting thing works. "Ok, this is how it works …" He began as Meredith focused on him. "Go on." She told him as he paused. "You fight sometimes and somebody apologizes." Derek told her, an amused smile was gracing his features but he suppressed it.

He didn't want Meredith to think that he does not take her seriously. He does take her seriously.

"Well, how am I supposed to know that?" Meredith retorted unsurely.

"You've never done this before."

Derek thought for a moment before coming nearer.

"Ok, from now on you can expect that I am gonna show up. Even if I yell. Even if you yell. I am always going to show up. Ok?" He asked, a smile gracing his lips.

"Okay." Meredith agreed. Derek placed a gentle kiss on her lips before pulling her into a hug.

"I'm going in now? You coming too?" He asked mischievously.

Meredith nodded as she gave him a small smile. "Just let me fill coffee in my and I'll be good to go." She said quickly. "Take all the time you need. There is no rush." Thirty minutes later both of them were entering Seattle Grace. "What are your plans for today?" Meredith asked as they walked through the lobby, both had coffee cups in their hands. "I have two aneurysms to clip, but one I think won't respond clipping I think I need to do an Endovascular Embolization or Coiling to treat this." Derek told her while Meredith just listened. "When using the Coiling method, you safely seal off the aneurysm and stop further blood from entering into the aneurysm and increasing the risk of rupture or possibly re-bleeding. Am I close?" Meredith asked as they waited for the elevator to get on it.

"You're correct." Derek pressed a quick kiss on Meredith's forehead.

"Any chance I can get in on this? I've never seen the Endovascular Embolization approach and I think it would be interesting to scrub in on that one. Of course only if you wanted me to, I mean if you don't I can wait for Dr. Bailey to give an assignment." Meredith rambled nervously.

"Mer, I'd have check with Bailey but I have no problem with having you on my service. I would be happy to teach you. You have potential in neuro and I am not saying this as your soon-to-be husband but as your teacher and attending to my subordinate. So what do we do now?" Derek asked.

"Get on the elevator and find Bailey to sign off on this. Apparently, you as an attending can per se request me." Meredith noted, her blue eyes searched and found Derek's.

Derek smirked.

"You got this perfectly right. See you later, Mer." He said as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. Meredith and Derek walked away in different ways. "With later I hope you mean your surgeries." Meredith called. "Sure." She heard his answer. Cristina had stayed the night, she was lying on the bench and was staring straight at the ceiling.

"Morning." Meredith said.

With a jerk, Cristina jolted up. "You're here." She stated. "You're here too, why?" "Burke let me scrub in on a TAD." Cristina gloated.

"That was bloody but in the end we saved the patient." Meredith looked at her friend.

While she had gotten her sleep, Cristina had logged time in the operating room. She promised herself she'd log more hours when they were through with the test.

"A traumatic aortic disruption?" She exclaimed, prying into what Cristina had been doing.

"Yep, a TAD. From the look of your face I take you're cursing yourself for missing this?" Meredith nodded. "All Derek and I had was …" "You won't tell me that you were up all night having sex?" Cristina asked in a voice that was just hilarious. "Not everything is about sex, Cristina." "So what's up then?" Cristina got serious again after her friend snapped at her. "We had a fight." She had. "Every couple fights at some point." Cristina shrugged. Meredith put her hair into a messy ponytail. "I know but since Addison we never had a fight that magnitude." Meredith told her.

"Is he avoiding? Are you not on speaking terms?" Cristina asked, halfway interested in her friend's Derek-drama.

"We're talking. Everything is back the way it was but …" Meredith sighed. "He wants me to meet my sister. I don't have a sister, Cristina beside the one I chose to be my sister and that's you." "You're going off the point, Mer." Cristina bluntly replied. "I don't want to get to know her because then I would get to hear what a perfect little life she had. We're talking about the daughter my father chose over me. Apparently, she didn't know about me before her father told her about me. And then there's the daddy issues, Dr. Webber who is acting like my father just because he screwed my mother." Meredith sighed as she sat down next to Cristina and buried her head in her hands.

"It's all too much personal crap. I am falling behind. I am logging less and less OR time. I'm two months of possible OR time due to my surgery. I can't keep this up." Cristina rubbed her hand over Meredith's back, supporting her friend.

"That surgery saved your ass." Cristina reminded her.

"The post-op infection almost killed me." Meredith only said and Cristina couldn't say anything against that. "You're avoiding, Meredith. You should stop. Derek is right." "Be on my side." Meredith told her frustrated. "Sorry, Mer, you asked for my advice and there it is: Stop avoiding. We all know you're queen of avoidance but it'll get you nowhere." Meredith rolled her eyes.

"I mean it, Meredith. Stop avoiding. We all have issues." In that moment, Izzie Stevens, Alex Karev and George O'Malley entered the locker room. Alex said a short 'Morning' but Izzie and George stayed silent.

Meredith looked up as Dr. Bailey entered the room with a determined face expression. "Rounds now." Bailey announced. Meredith stood up and followed Cristina to the first patient room. "Mara Bakers, 23, here for a tonsillectomy …" George did the presentation. The patient, a young and perky girl listened attentively. "You prep her for today, O'Malley." When they were back outside, Bailey stopped and clenched her hands onto her hips as she stared at her interns. "As you know, intern exams are in, what four days so except small procedures, you'll be learning for your exams. Believe if you don't have to repeat your intern year, you will thank me for giving you that opportunity."

Meredith raised her hand. "I've been learning for this since I got discharged. I don't need more time to prepare. Is there any chance you can assign me to someone?"

"Someone?" Dr. Bailey asked dryly. "Well, let's see how good you really are."

Izzie let out a chuckle.

She was looking forward to seeing Meredith going down. Cristina watched Stevens' reaction with a frown. She didn't like her. Something was off about her. "Stevens, since you are making fun of a fellow surgeon why don't you get a question as well? How would you like that?" "Dr. Bailey, I was just, there's no need to be …" Izzie sounded scared.

"Spare me that." Bailey snapped at her frightened intern.

Bailey really was fair, overall fair.

A/N: Part I got posted. I really hope you enjoyed reading this. Please let me know what I can improve and do better. Please let me know by reviewing.

So, MerDer had their first argument. But they got through it pretty well, don't you think? SPOILER for next chapters: But the Meredith and Richard relationship is pretty complex. Even lucid Ellis will make an appearance soon. Lexie and Meredith, well, they have a long road ahead of them but eventually they'll get to know each other better. But Meredith has a hard time accepting that Thatcher has chosen Lexie over her. ALSO: Upcoming MerDer wedding after the intern exam! Part II to come, probably Friday or Sunday.