Rating: T
Prompt: Valentines

The end of the first week in February saw the annual Valentine's Day hype increase. Becker watched the couples around him, both long-established and newly-formed, and found himself very, very relieved that he and Jess would be able to celebrate the day without knowing every move they made, every smile and touch, was being studied by their peers.

There was an incredible amount of pressure on people to behave a certain way as the day approached and eve those he thought were sensible and above such things – like Abby and Matt, for instance – seemed to be getting a little swept away by it.

For Abby, it was her first Valentine's Day since getting engaged so maybe she could be excused for getting the occasional dreamy look on her face whenever Connor hinted that he had plans for them.

For Matt, it was the first Valentine's Day he'd actually bothered to celebrate. Given that the future he'd come from was devoid of any reason to celebrate anything, it was almost as if every holiday – Halloween, Christmas, Valentines, Easter – was a new experience for him. And although he'd been living in the present long enough to have seen not one but two Valentine's Days before, it was the first year he had someone in mind with which to celebrate it.

Working at the ARC, surrounded by soldiers and scientists, grown men and women, Becker was surprised to find out how big a deal the day was. They were adults, he found himself muttering under his breath, not love-struck teenagers…

… It was only when he realised that the voice in his head sounded suspiciously like Lester that Becker decided to ignore it.

Although she liked the romance-fuelled holiday, Jess had asked if they could have a quiet Valentine's Day. Her request was in part due to the birthday party he'd planned for her, even if he couldn't take credit for it openly, and partly, Becker suspected, because of the trauma she'd gone through at Rowlings's hands.

It was still troubling her, as though she thought she'd done something to make her responsible for the Lieutenant's actions. Everyone on the team and even those who didn't know the full story had reassured her otherwise but, although she seemed to accept that on the surface, she was still letting Rowlings's excuses get to her.

And it was starting to affect their relationship.

They still slept together every night in the same bed but they hadn't had sex since it had happened. Becker was trying not to let it bother him and was willing to wait patiently until Jess felt ready to resume their physical relationship but there was more to it than that.

She curled up against him every night, cuddled as close to him as she could get. And every night, he found himself feigning sleep and listening to the sound of her trying not to make a sound as she cried herself into a restless slumber.

Not knowing how to broach the subject, Becker told himself to wait until she did. The longer it went on, though, the more concerned he got and the harder it was to pretend that everything was okay.

Other people were beginning to notice. Lester had already taken him to one side and asked if Jess was okay. Not wanting to lie, Becker had only been able to reply that he didn't know. He'd listened to Abby and Emily discuss their concerns in the truck on the way back to the ARC after an anomaly, with Connor expressing his own worries and wishes that he'd been able to have a private chat with Rowlings before the man had been escorted out of the ARC for good.

Matt, remaining his usual quiet self, had merely spared Becker a glance, the worry in his eyes visible.

He was hoping Valentine's Day would prove a good opportunity for two things: one, that he'd be able to use it to remind Jess how he felt about her and two, that she'd finally open up to him and tell him what was going on in her head.

Quiet was what she'd wanted so quiet was what she was going to get. That didn't, however, mean that he was willing to let the day pass entirely without some acknowledgement.

With Valentine's Day falling on a Thursday, there was no escaping it at the ARC. Jess had woken up to breakfast in bed, served on a tray with a card in a pink envelope and a perfect red rose. She'd thanked Becker with a smile and a kiss but had gently pushed him away after a moment, slipping out of bed and insisting she needed a shower before they left for work.

Becker was disappointed, she knew, and she felt bad for it but promised herself she'd make it up to him.

Eventually.

She knew exactly why she was holding back but couldn't bring herself to talk about it. She told herself it wasn't fair, not to Becker or to herself, but still, she kept her feelings to herself, dwelling on the dark thoughts whirling in her mind.

She shook herself mentally as she made her way to the ADD, the sight of smiling faces and love-struck colleagues doing little to brighten her mood. As the day progressed, she grew all the more frustrated with herself, hating that, because of her, her first Valentine's Day with Becker was being ruined – and might turn out to be their last.

For the first time since the Rowlings incident, Becker left the ARC before Jess did and only did so then after getting Lester's assurances that he'd personally escort Jess to her car.

Even with the time advantage, Becker knew he wouldn't be able to cook a full meal before Jess made it home so he cheated slightly and had called the Italian restaurant he'd taken her to on their first date. As the restaurant didn't ordinarily do takeaways, he had a back-up plan in place just in case they refused to help him out. Fortunately for Becker, the woman he'd spoken to on the phone was the owner's wife and a self-confessed hopeless romantic and she'd happily seen to it that the meal he'd ordered was ready for him to pick up on his way home.

With the food just needing to be kept warm – their main meal – and cool – their dessert – respectively, Becker hurriedly set the table and lit two candles before changing into one of the few shirts he owned that wasn't black. He'd just finished dishing up when he heard the front door open and the sound of Jess's heels click against the floor as she walked into the flat.

"What... What's all this?" Jess's eyes widened marginally when she walked into the open plan room, her gaze slipping past him to the table and back again. "Becker..."

"Happy Valentine's Day." Crossing the room towards her, he took hold of her hand and led her towards the table. "You said you wanted quiet so we're having a quiet night in."

Jess gave him a small smile that widened as she looked at the food on the table. "Is this...? This is exactly what we had when..." Her smile faded and she looked confused. "They don't do takeaways."

"Special occasion," Becker said with a shrug. "The owner's wife, Marcella, thought it was sweet."

"More like she thought you were sweet." She held onto his hand when he would have let go to pull out her chair for her. Her eyes were serious, shimmering slightly in the light of the candles. "You are the nicest, sweetest man I've ever met."

He felt his cheeks grow warm and shrugged a shoulder. "Just don't let it get around. I've got a reputation to protect, you know."

"I know." Still, Jess gave his hand a squeeze before letting go, sitting down when he pulled out her chair. "You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble."

"It's no trouble." He poured her a glass of wine before walking to his seat and sitting down. "Eat up. But don't forget to save room for dessert."

After dinner, once they'd settled on the sofa with their glasses of wine and Becker felt Jess tense momentarily before curling up against him, he stifled a sigh and carefully set his glass down. "Are we going to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Her voice was quiet and subdued and partly muffled by his chest.

"The elephant in the room. Rowlings." Just saying the man's name had her tensing again and he was sure she would've pulled away if he hadn't tightened his arm around her shoulders. "Jess, please. Talk to me."

To her credit, she didn't deny that there was something to talk about. Instead, she said nothing for a long moment. She played idly with the buttons of his shirt before letting her hand rest over his chest, above his heart. "I don't deserve you."

"What?" Of all the things he'd been expecting her to say, that wasn't one of them. "What are you talking about?"

Despite his attempts at shifting so he could see her, Jess turned her face further into his chest, hiding her expression from view. "I feel like I betrayed you, like I cheated on you. And I hate that, I really do."

"How on earth..." Becker stared down at the top of her head, his eyes narrowing when he felt his shirt grow damp beneath her cheek and realised she was crying. "Jessica, look at me." It took some doing but eventually he managed to manoeuvre them so they were facing each other, with Jess sitting mostly on his lap. Lifting her face to his with a gentle hand against her face, he gazed at her, hating the sight of such misery and guilt in her eyes. "Rowlings put his hands on you. He kissed you." He didn't need a mental image having seen the security footage of the incident in Matt's report. "You did nothing wrong, sweetheart. You did nothing to encourage him, nothing to..."

"What if I did? What if I said or did something that made him think I was interested? What if the way I dress gave him the impression that... that I'm easy or desperate or..."

"Jessica." Cupping her face in his hands, he leaned in and kissed her softly, watching her all the while. "You did nothing wrong. Everyone but you knows that. If there was any doubt that Rowlings was in the wrong here, he'd still be at the ARC and in the military. He's not, because anyone who looks at the damn tape of him putting his hands on you can see you did nothing to encourage him. Jesus, Jess, the man grabbed you. He practically attacked you. If Lester and O'Leary hadn't turned up..." He clenched his jaw tightly, not wanting to think about what could have happened to her while he'd been out with his friends. "You did nothing wrong," he repeated firmly.

"I love you," Jess murmured, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She kissed him softly and he tasted the tears on her lips before she pulled back and let her forehead rest against his. "I'm sorry I've been so distant and I'm sorry I've been pushing you away..."

Becker lifted his hand to her face, tilting it so he could kiss her again. "Let's just put it behind us now and enjoy what's left of Valentine's Day, yeah?"

Her response was a dazzling smile he hadn't seen in far too many days and a searing kiss that told him just how they were going to do that.

Next up is 'Cold' and the beginning of the end of this little story.