Well it's been a long while since I updated and I can only offer my sincere apologies, people. I could give you a complete list of the woes, trials and tribulations over the last few months, but as they'd be pretty uninteresting to anyone who doesn't really know me, suffice to say that life (and shit) happens and that coping with all of that has meant the writing took a back-burner. Hopefully now I've got all the crap dealt with and I can get back to providing you all with your Sam and Bella fix.
Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Saga. I own twitchy fingers that enjoy writing for no profit.
Chapter 35: Ambulances and Awkwardness
What's the correct response when someone who hates you thanks you for saving their father's life? "It was nothing" seemed too flippant. "Anytime" did too. "You're welcome" felt somehow patronising for some reason. I scoured my exhausted mind for the right thing to say. In the end the best I could come up with was an embarrassed shrug and an "Of course." That still didn't feel like the right response, so I quickly added. "He's a good man, Leah. I just did what anyone would've." Leah shook her head firmly.
"I'm not sure they would've." She disagreed. "Not for as long as you continued with it. Most people would've given up on him after a few minutes."
"Well I've always been pretty stubborn" I replied with a rueful half smile. She snorted.
"I've noticed." She said. "He was lucky you were with him and that you knew what to do." Hoping to head her off from asking just why I'd been with her father in the forest, I quickly turned to one of the EMTs and asked if they needed help carrying Harry through the trees to the ambulance.
"No." He replied. "You look pretty much exhausted as it is. I'm sure his daughter and son will be enough help to get him to the parking lot. Once we get there, I'll want to quickly check you over while my partner stabilizes our patient to travel to the hospital." I was about to protest, which he obviously guessed, so he put his hand up to stop me from speaking. "You wouldn't be the first to collapse after giving even a short burst of CPR, and as far as I can tell, you must've been at it for nearly half an hour before you got help. It'd be irresponsible of me not to quickly check on you to make sure you're not suffering any after effects from all that effort." Seeing that resistance was futile, I reluctantly nodded, heaving myself to my feet. The wobbling stumble I gave as I finally made it upright drew a raised brow from him which could only be translated as a "told you so" look which I steadfastly refused to acknowledge as I stumbled along behind them, blushing and frequently tripping while they carried Harry on his stretcher out of the trees.
A little crowd had formed in the parking lot by the ambulance, the customers and staff from the diner having come outside to see what was going on, along with several passers-by. The EMTs took Harry right inside the ambulance, out of sight of the onlookers, and then the guy that'd spoken to me came back out, leaving his partner to work on prepping Harry for travel, and sat me down on the back step of the vehicle, sadly in full view of the gawkers. Of course I was immediately overtaken by my trademark blush at the unwanted attention. "Great. So now I've got witnesses to my check-up. That's not going to start up a whole new round of gossip or anything." I thought sarcastically. "I'd better call Charlie pretty quick once this guy's done with his poking and prodding, or he'll get worried unnecessarily." I gave an ineffectual glare to the poor EMT as he wrapped a grey blanket around my shoulders.
"Shock is a killer." He noted somewhat sanctimoniously. "And it's been brought on by a hell of a lot less than what you've just gone through, so quit your glaring." I rolled my eyes at him, but gave him a little grin in appreciation of his no-nonsense attitude. My glare made a sudden reappearance though when his cold stethoscope made contact with my chest. He studiously ignored me.
"Bella! Bella, honey, are you ok?" A voice called through the crowd and I craned my neck to see over the EMT's shoulder to see who it belonged to.
"Alison. Yeah I'm fine. Despite how it looks." I rolled my eyes in the direction of the EMT once more as he shushed me so he could listen to my heart rate and breathing.
"God, Honey. What the hell happened?" She asked, shouldering her way through the ever growing crowd who now all had their ears out on stalks to catch wind of any juicy details. I waited until she'd pushed her way to the front of the crowd and held out a blanket wrapped hand to her to pull her closer to whisper to her. I didn't think the Clearwater family would necessarily want their private business aired in front of a bunch of gossip hungry onlookers.
"Harry had a heart attack in the woods and I was with him so I did CPR on him til help arrived." I tried to minimise my part in Harry's rescue as much as I could, not wanting too much attention for something I saw as nothing more or less than my responsibility. "They're just checking me over for shock, and then hopefully I can go on about my business. The EMT snorted under his breath at my downplaying of my role.
"She worked on him alone for around half an hour, and then worked on him another ten minutes or so with his daughter before we were able to get here; it's such a remote location." He told Alison as he worked. "She definitely saved his life, and I've got no doubt she's exhausted. She's just being too stubborn to admit it." I blushed again and sent another glare at him. Unfortunately he paid about as much attention to this one as he had the last two.
"From what I hear, stubborn is pretty much par for the course with Bella here." Alison told the EMT. "Although by the sounds of it, that's probably a big part of why Harry's still among the living." She squeezed my hand comfortingly as I began blushing again. "Bella, honey, let the man do his job, and then I'll drive you home." She told me. "Even if you're not in shock, you look all tuckered out and I'll bet a hot drink with your feet up sounds good to you right about now?" Ordinarily she'd have been right, but as I'd been hell bent on finding Sam and settling things before I got side-tracked with my mission to save Harry, being forced to sit and rest right then sounded more frustrating than anything else. Of course I couldn't exactly say that, so I was forced to swallow my frustration and give a half-hearted nod. The EMT pulled my collar to one side to listen to the other side of my chest, exposing the last remaining traces of the huge hickey Sam had left on my neck a week before.
"Hmm. What's this?" He asked, giving the bruise a gentle prod. My face I mediated burst into a bright fiery red blush once again. "Oh for fucks sake. In front on Sam's mom?!" I thought, mortified. I cast a quick look at Alison from the corner of my eye as my hand flew up to cover the mark.
"Um. N. nothing. Just an old bruise." I flustered. His brow creased and he opened his mouth to ask more but was interrupted by Alison.
"I suspect that's some of my son's handiwork." She told him, clearly struggling not to snigger as my blush deepened and I fixed my gaze determinedly on the ground. "Nothing to worry about, although I will be giving him a slap upside the head for leaving such an obvious calling card." Both she and the EMT snorted in amusement while I concentrated on trying to develop an ability to open up a new fault line in the earth's crust right under my feet. Sadly I had no luck, so I was forced to sit there, fire engine red, while the two of them sniggered at my expense.
When a call came from his partner inside the ambulance, letting him know that Harry was now stabilized and ready to travel, the EMT decided he'd finally finished his prodding and poking and, giving me stern instructions to rest up for the rest of the day, took the blanket I handed him, and climbed in the cab of the ambulance, heading off with Harry to the hospital, followed close behind by the rest of the Clearwaters in Sue's car. I wondered idly when she had arrived, but was given no chance to ask; Alison was pulling me by one arm firmly through the crowd, which had begun to thin now that the ambulance had left and the excitement was over, over to her car.
"Come on, Honey. I've got a really good camomile tea at home and you can visit with me for a while so I can make sure you're following the EMTs orders."
"Really, Alison. I'm fine. No need to put yourself out." I replied feebly, making an attempt to free my arm from her grip. She fixed me with a firm look, and my protests dried on my lips. "Whoa. She can be kinda scary when she wants to be." I realised. Trying to swallow my frustrated sigh, I let her tug me along.
"I was planning to find Sam for a quick chat before everything happened with Harry." I told her, hoping that the certainty she'd held that day in the diner that Sam and I were an item might help sway her where my weak protests hadn't. "What with one thing and another, we've not had a chance to see each other all week." She gave a brilliant grin, reminding me uncannily of her son for a moment.
"Well that works out just perfectly then; Sam's dropping by at my place in a while to fix my kitchen sink, so you'll have no need to go wandering around the Rez, tiring yourself out even more. You can just put your feet up on my couch and he'll come to you." I sighed and gave a reluctant nod. The situation was by no means perfect; I would've preferred to talk with Sam in private, and not under the observant gaze of his mom, but I guessed I'd find a way of getting a few moments alone so we could talk without her hearing.
The journey to Alison's place only took a few minutes, but it was more than long enough to prove to me just how exhausted I really was. All the time I'd been standing or at least talking to Alison and the EMT I hadn't really had the chance to notice exactly how little energy I had left. Once we arrived, she sat me down and started in on brewing up a pot of camomile tea for us.
"So I'm not normally one to pry, Bella honey, but I've got to say, each time I've seen Sam this week he's been slightly lower and seemed more stressed. You said you've not seen each other all week. Did you have a fight or something?" She called out of the kitchen to me.
"No no, nothing like that." I assured her. "Honestly I think it's just the events of the week getting in our way. Last time I saw Sam things were fine. Better than fine actually, I..." I broke off suddenly, realising I was just about to commit a drastic over-share. It seemed that I'd cut myself off too late though.
"Oho, really?" She asked in an arch voice, leaning back to look at me through the kitchen door and of course noticing my blush "Better than fine, eh? So I'm gonna guess that the two of you aren't spending your time together playing board games then?" She waggled her eyebrows at me and burst out laughing when I just stammered in response, my blush darkening further. "Well as long as he's not pushing you into something you're not ready for, and he's making sure you're taken care of" she winked suggestively as she carried the tea things through to me "then it's all good, right?" I choked on thin air, completely unable to work out what the correct response to her forthright statement was. Suddenly her grin dropped away and she sat down next to me on the crunch, gently squeezing my hand. "Bella?" She asked gently. "He's not pushing too hard, is he? I made sure to bring him up respecting women and I'd hate to think that..." Still mute and choking, I shook my head firmly, not wanting her to think badly of her son. "And he's making sure it's good for you too?" She pressed.
"Oh shit. Could this get any more awkward and uncomfortable?" I wondered, giving her a tiny nod, and hoping desperately that this would get her to drop the uncomfortable conversation. She just sat and looked at me expectantly. "Damn it. She's not going to leave this until I say something, is she?" I fretted, and cleared my throat.
"He's been great." I reassured her. She nodded encouragingly, clearly expecting me to go on. I forced myself to continue, despite my almost neon blush. "He...I...We've only..." I swallowed and rushed on, wanting to just get the embarrassment over. "It was just the once... So far. And I don't really have anything to compare it to, but really, it was great." I didn't think I'd ever been so red in all my life. Thankfully, it seemed I'd finally said enough for her. She sighed in relief.
"Well that's ok then. For a moment, I was worried I'd failed somewhere in his upbringing." She started pouring the tea. I gave my own, mental sigh of relief. Glad the subject was done with and that we could move on to other, less awkward and embarrassing topics. Sadly I was wrong. Just as I brought my own cup to my lips, Alison began again.
"So, nothing to compare it to? Sam was your first then?" She asked, sitting back, perfectly relaxed with her tea while I struggled not to choke on my first sip. She calmly reached over and pounded me on the back as I fought to catch my breath. When I finally stopped coughing, she was still waiting patiently for me to answer.
"I might as well just bite the bullet and get this all over and done with." I decided, "She's clearly not going to drop it any time soon, and apparently she doesn't feel the need to worry about boundaries." I didn't in any way feel that she was trying to upset me; she just didn't have the same level of sensibility that I did over certain subjects it seemed. Giving in, I nodded.
"Yes he was."
"But I thought you were dating that Cullen boy for quite a while. I didn't know the Cullens at all, of course, but from what I'd seen of him, he struck me as very mature for his age." I struggled not to burst into another round of chocking over that drastic understatement. I had wondered if she was in the know about the supernatural, and here was an answer, thankfully before I'd managed to accidentally blow everyone's secrets.
"Yes we were quite serious, but we never did... that." She raised a surprised brow. "Well if I'm honest, it wasn't for lack of trying on my part. But he was very old fashioned in his morals. He strongly believed in the no sex before marriage thing." I told her, figuring that if I was going to share with her, I might as well go the whole hog. Both of her eyebrows almost disappeared into her hairline.
"Well that's unexpected from a teenage boy these days, but I guess it takes all types." She murmured, taking another sip of her tea. "So how about other boys in town? Were you not interested in any of them?"
"Well to be frank, I was pretty much a lock-in after the Cullens left, and even if I hadn't been I can honestly say that up until Sam, no-one around here held any interest to me whatsoever. I'm good friends with a guy who's dating my girlfriend Angela, and I did think that Mike Newton was another good friend, up until his more recent behaviour that is. I'm also good friends with Jacob Black, Embry Call and Quil Aterea, but those are all just platonic friendships. Since Edward left, the only guy I've had any interest in romantically has been Sam." The last word was barely out of my mouth when the front door opened and Sam himself walked in. Immediately my face burst once more into flame and I began studying the floor. "Shit." I thought. "I really hope the super-hearing option is only available in his wolf form. If not, with his hearing he's got to at least have heard that last part, even if he missed the rest. What must he be thinking, knowing that I'm talking about our relationship with his Mom?" I shrank back a little on the couch, my embarrassment plain, and I tried to assess out of the corner of my eye whether he showed any sign of having heard our conversation. He didn't appear to be pissed or embarrassed, he seemed more relieved and pleased to see me, so I guessed that I was safe and that his human form didn't allow him to hear as well as his wolf form did. "Well finally, something in this day hasn't turned out as awkward as it could've been."
"Bella." Sam sighed, relief colouring his tone. He dropped his tools by the door and strode over to me on the couch, pulling me into a hot, woodsy scented hug, his face buried in my hair and breathing in deeply. "He's scenting me, that's what all that heavy nose breathing has always been about." I realised suddenly. "Huh. Maybe the news that we're soul-mates won't come as too much of a surprise to him after all." I felt myself relaxing almost against my will as I soaked in the strength and safety his hug brought. With as much subtlety as I could manage, I did a bit of scenting of my own, dragging in a deep lungful of his deep rich smell and finding it calming me further
"Babe are you ok? The word on the Rez is that you're the hero of the year, saving Harry and ending up having to be treated yourself." I shrugged and closed my eyes, embarrassed by the hint of awe and admiration which was beginning to colour the anxiety in his voice.
"I just did what anyone else would do in the same circumstances." I mumbled against his chest, "and the EMT was just making sure I wasn't going into shock, or about to collapse from exhaustion. Your Mom talked me into coming here and resting up before I headed home." He gave an amused snort.
"You mean she strong-armed you into coming here no matter what excuses you tried to make?" he asked in a knowing voice. I let out a small chuckle as Alison tutted at him.
"Well something like that, I guess. But to be honest, I didn't put up too much of a fight. I was more than happy to escape from the crowd of gawkers outside the diner." I admitted. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and slowly, almost like he was having to force himself to do so, he stood up, collecting his tools from the floor and taking them through to the kitchen.
"I'm just glad you're ok." He called over his shoulder, "Both after the Harry ordeal and after the Alison treatment." I giggled into my cup and Alison tutted again, pretending to be offended. Now that Sam had arrived, Alison dropped the extremely embarrassing sex related conversation, and we sat with our tea, comfortably discussing her work, my school, and events at the Drop-in centre while Sam tinkered away at the sink in the kitchen. I only had half my mind on our conversation however; the other half was busily trying to decide just how to tackle the talk I was going to have to have with Sam.
How was I supposed to bring up the fact that not only did I know he was a wolf, but that he and I were destined to be together for the rest of our lives? And as if those two topics weren't tricky enough to tackle, how was I going to explain that the reason I knew all of this was because during my meditation sessions I was able to communicate with one of his long-dead ancestors?
The uncertainty about how he would respond when I told him we were mates was weighing on me like a sack of rocks on my shoulders. I mean sure, with my new revelation that he'd been scenting me all this time, I figured he might have at least an inkling that we were going to end up together, but I didn't even know how much the pack knew about soul mates. Come to think of it, I didn't know how much the average vampire knew about it either. Ok, the Cullens were well informed on the matter, but they were hardly your average, common or garden vampire coven so I couldn't really use them as the best example of vampire education. That thought naturally led to the next; it was one thing to wonder what he'd think about the whole mates thing, but it was yet another to wonder how he'd feel about it. Sure, I'd accepted that I was now completely over Edward, and I'd accepted that I had strong feelings towards Sam, and I now knew why I did, but I wasn't at all sure that those strong feelings could be labelled as love just yet. One day, perhaps one day soon, sure, but right now? I just wasn't at all sure on that. And if I wasn't that sure of my own feelings when I knew what we were destined to be to each other, how could I expect him to be all thrilled about the situation once I'd explained it to him? He'd made his position about a long-term relationship between us very clear from the outset and he'd had every reason to believe that I felt exactly the same way about it. "Jeeze, this is going to be just about the most awkward and uncomfortable conversation anyone has ever had with anyone else. EVER. And that includes the chat I just had with Alison about her son's sex skills." I groaned internally while attempting to listen to Alison's story about a rampaging toddler in the juice aisle at the store. "And before I even get the conversation started, I'm going to have to work out how to get him alone so that Alison doesn't overhear the whole thing. It's not like I can send her out of the room in her own house!" I went to take another sip of the calming camomile tea, only to discover that my cup was empty. I leaned forward to put the cup down on the coffee table and Alison, taking my move as a hint that I was about to leave, grabbed my arm to stop me. A low rumble I could only describe as a growl came from the kitchen and I jerked my head around to look through the door. All I could see was Sam's lower body sticking out of the cupboard under the sink as he lay on the floor with his head and shoulders inside, working away to fix whatever was wrong. I shrugged it off and turned back to Alison who was looking at me in confusion, having missed what had distracted me in the first place.
"You haven't rested up enough yet, Bella honey, don't go before you have to." She pleaded. I had to wonder how much of her concern was truly down to my exhaustion, and how much of it was due to her wanting to encourage Sam and me to spend more time together. Not that I was opposed to her encouragement; I was all for spending more time with him, in particular right then, but what was really needed was time alone with Sam.
"I wasn't actually planning on going right now, but I am going to have to leave fairly soon." I told her "Apart from anything else, I need to get home to reassure Charlie that I'm ok. I'm sure he's heard the gossip about Harry by now and he's probably worried about me." I suddenly realised I should've called him to let him know I was ok – actually I was surprised Charlie hadn't already called me - and I reached into my pocket for my cell. The battery was flat. Not surprising really when I considered the time I'd had a call going with the handset on loudspeaker. "Crap. And I left my charger in my truck." I griped. "Charlie's probably been trying to get hold of me. He's not going to be happy with me." I made a move to get up, intending to head out back towards Billy and Jacob's house and my truck, but once again Alison stopped me by grabbing my wrist. Another low growl sounded from under the sink in the kitchen, this time I ignored it.
"You still need to be resting. Let me go for the charger." Alison offered. "Where's your truck parked? I didn't see it outside the diner." I sat back, for once willing to allow someone else to do something for me even though it went against my nature. On this occasion though, it would give me the opportunity to talk with Sam without Alison overhearing so I could deal with the uncomfortable feeling it gave me to have her do something that I could manage to do myself.
"I left it by the Black's house. The charger is in the glove box." I told her.
"I'll just walk down there and drive your truck up here, if that's ok with you Honey." Alison offered. "That way you won't need to walk to get it later. If you're still really tired when it's time for you to go home, then Sam can always drive you back if needed." Despite the obviousness of her suggestions, I nodded gratefully. Finally I'd be able to talk alone to Sam. I handed over the keys and with a reassuring smile, she headed out, cautioning Sam as she walked through the door. "You make sure that Bella doesn't do anything tiring now, you hear me?" I couldn't see her face but I was willing to bet that she was giving him a suggestive eyebrow waggle as she spoke. "I'll be back before too long." And she closed the door behind herself.
It took me more than a few minutes to steel my nerves enough to pull myself to my feet and head out into the kitchen to begin the conversation that was going to change both our lives irrevocably. As I built up the guts to move, I sat staring into space, the silence in the house broken only by the ticking of a clock on the wall and the tapping, banging and occasional muttered curses coming from Sam under the kitchen sink.
"Come on Bella; it's got to be done, so you better just suck it up and go talk to him." I muttered quietly to myself and, with a small groan as I realised just how tired I truly was after my day's activities, I forced myself up off the comfortable couch and slouched reluctantly into the kitchen. Most of Sam was concealed in the kitchen cabinet, but what I could see of him, from his chest downwards seemed unusually tense to me, especially as used as I was to the lazy, relaxed grace he'd always displayed before. With his arms above his head while he tinkered, his well-worn T-shirt had risen up, displaying a good thee inches of sculpted abdominal muscle and smooth, flawless russet skin and my eyes were instantly drawn to the beautiful sight, making my pulse race as I tried hard to keep my mind from wandering into the gutter. "Ok. Step one successfully completed; I've made it out into the kitchen. Now how the fuck do I begin this conversation?" I wondered to myself as I casually leant back against the counter, keeping my eyes fixed on the wonderful view. "Do I start off with random small talk and try to segue into it somehow, or do I charge in like a bull in a china shop and blurt something out?" Either way it was going to be uncomfortable, but after a few more moments of thought, my mouth, acting completely independently of my brain, apparently decided that it was better to just go with the blurting idea.
"So we always said that we'd keep things between us relaxed and casual, and above all, honest, right?" The words just sort of fell out of my mouth, and considering the lack of a planned script, I was relatively pleased with the start I'd made. I ploughed on. "And we both agreed that if either of us needed to make a change we should just tell the other without any drama or lies. As tense as Sam's body had appeared before, it now seemed even tenser, he seemed to be holding his breath. I hoped that he hadn't figured out where I was heading and was busily building counter arguments; this was going to be hard enough without having to argue him into agreeing we were soul mates. I hesitated for a moment, trying to figure out what to say next, and he let out a huge, gusty sigh and still from under the sink, he said quietly.
"It's ok, Bella. If you decided you want to put an end to this, I won't make a huge deal of it. I'll be disappointed… ok very disappointed, but you're right, we did have a deal and I won't go back on it." I stared at him in horror, the shock of his total misunderstanding about what I was going to say blocking my throat for a moment with a solid cork of thin air. After a few milliseconds (and several centuries) I finally got control over my gaping trout impression and blurted again.
"NO!" I cleared my throat and tried again, at a more sensible volume. "No, Sam that's not what I was going to say at all. Seriously, nothing could be further from my mind right now, really." A little of the tension in his body seemed to lessen and I wondered if he'd been reading the anxiety in my body language when he'd first arrived or if perhaps I gave off a different scent when I was tense or something. "Definitely another conversation we need to have at some point soon." I told myself. "I can't keep flying blind when it comes to what he's capable in each of his forms."
"Oh. Ok then. That's good." He murmured with a relieved sigh. One of his toned arms appeared back out of the cupboard and felt around for a large wrench laying on the floor by his side. Grabbing it, his arm retreated again into the space under the sink. "Then what was it you wanted to say? Seems like you've got something heavy on your mind."
"Yeah you could say that." I muttered. Screwing up all my courage I just threw myself headlong into it, picking what was maybe the biggest revelation out of the whole steaming pile of massive revelations between us. "So yeah, anyway, above all, honest we agreed, meaning I really have to tell you…." I swallowed, cleared my throat, swallowed again, and took a deep breath. "I know about the pack." I blurted. If I thought he'd been tense before, I was now seeing just a whole new level of it. Previously he'd been stiff and still, but now his whole body (or the part that I could see sticking out of the cupboard at least) was rigid and almost quivering as if in readiness to defend from a physical attack.
"The pack?" if he was going for casual and unknowing he was missing the mark by several hundred miles, the effect further ruined by the small quiver in his voice that I was certain he believed he'd hidden.
"It's ok, Sam, you don't need to cover-up any more. I know about the wolf pack. I know they're protection for the tribe against vampires amongst other things. I know there are seven of you. And I'm pretty sure I know that you're the leader, and that in your wolf form you're black. And take an unhealthy amount of amusement in seeing me trip and stumble my way through a dark forest." I checked each point off on a finger of my left hand unconsciously, probably more for something to do with my hands and to give myself something else to look at other than the inevitable rising level of tension in Sam's body as I spoke. The silence that followed was almost literally palpable. I could feel it pulsing in the air between us, pushing against my chest and stinging against my skin like the air just before a massive thunder storm. The moment stretched, an invisible elastic band promising a larger back-lash for every second it continued to expand. When Sam finally broke it with a loud, gusting sigh, I actually physically jumped a bit, almost expecting to somehow see the silence around us shattering.
"Sounds like you know quite a lot that you're not supposed to, Bella." He ground out, sounding genuinely sad and defeated. "I've gotta say, I'm really disappointed. I thought the Chief was more trustworthy than this." His body was still quivering with tension and I watched as he visible attempted to relax his muscles a little. "So what else do you think you know?" I avoided correcting his use of the word ''think', knowing that there was every chance that he was merely attempting to cover his own back and perhaps to draw me off on a tangent, "Nice try, buddy, but sorry no dice" I snarked to myself with a little eye roll and instead focussed my full attention to just how to proceed from the big reveal to the equally important side issues. The full on blurt-a-thon needed to come to an end before I said the wrong thing, putting more stumbling blocks in our path.
"Well actually, there's quite a bit, and most of it is pretty major." I began carefully, watching him slowly force each muscle group to relax out of its fight or flight reflex. "It's, um, well it's about…" I stalled out again, trying to think of any way to get to the point; it was next to impossible to navigate my way through this conversation without the visual cues I generally took for granted when talking to someone's face instead of their beautifully toned, wonderfully smooth-skinned stomach and chest. "Look, could you come out from there so we can talk properly, please? This is hard enough as it is." I tried to keep my voice even to hide my nerves. "And the novelty of the torso show is starting to wear out." I added to myself under my breath. A faint snort sounded from inside the cupboard; the bastard hybrid of irritation and amusement, and Sam's arms started moving again.
"Yeah ok, Bella. Just let me get this tightened all the way and I'll be right wit – SHITFUCK" I jumped again at his sudden yell and then Sam emerged from the cupboard under the sink, covered from just below his hair-line to just below his collar with some kind of brownish-greyish sludgy liquid. Attempting to pull himself to his feet, but unable to open his eyes, he made the situation worse by sitting up too soon, before he'd cleared the edge of the cupboard and the resultant blow to his head added a split scalp and a gush of blood to the already disgusting gloop on his face. "SHIT FUCK FUCKITY FUCK!" he yelled, clapping his palm to his head. I instantly held my breath, the sight of the blood before he'd covered the cut with his hand was already making me feel queasy and as tired as I was from the earlier events of the day, a full-on faint would be the almost guaranteed result of actually smelling the blood too. Sam pulled himself all the way up, and turned to kind-of face me, as much as was possible with his eyes glooped shut and his huge hand covering most of them too. "Oh god this stuff smells like ass." He said to the space six inches to the left of my ear. "Is my head bleeding?" he asked. "Bella?" he asked again when I didn't reply. I couldn't. Taking a breath in to answer was going to be the end of me keeping my feet, I knew with absolute certainty. I was barely keeping myself upright as it was, my firm grip on the kitchen counter having a lot to do with that fact, the smell of Sam's blood would be the final blow in my already losing battle. Fumbling blindly around on the counter beside me, Sam finally made contact with a towel and scrubbed at his face enough to clear his eyes. My breath had run out. I had two choices; take a breath and allow the smell of his blood to make me pass out, or don't take a breath and instead allow the large black splodges that had begun swimming across my vision to take over and pass out anyway. Forcing his eyes open and, noticing he was addressing the empty air to my left, adjusted his position accordingly and stared blearily into my eyes.
I passed out.