a/n: This chapter is a bit fluffy. But there will be very few opportunities for fluff from now on in the story.
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Chapter 35: With this blood.
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They arrived a short distance from the gates of the Manor in the late afternoon.
Hermione shivered involuntarily as she took in the darkly sprawling edifice. Cold, even on this Indian summer day, it seemed almost sentient, the dim lights in the windows flickering in the Gothic stone façade like the eyes of a malevolent mythological beast.
Since the first moment she had realised she'd be back here, she'd tried to mentally prepare herself. But now that she was standing right outside the gates, the images came rushing back. The fear and the pain and the terrifying insanity behind the eyes of Bellatrix as the witch had watched and enjoyed her agony.
Draco eyed her with concern.
"Are you going to be alright?" he asked her gently.
She swallowed and shoved the images back, took a deep breath and nodded.
"Yes, I'll be fine," she answered resolutely. "It's just a house."
His eyes lingered on her for a moment longer, and when he was satisfied he turned back to the others.
"Once we're in the gates, we will need to apparate directly into the guest wing. Blaise, you take Red. Granger, give me your hand."
Hermione held her hand out to him, a query in her eyes. She watched with unease as he reached into his backpack and produced a short silver dagger.
He took her hand in his. "The Manor is warded against Muggles and anyone identified as an enemy of the Malfoys. The only time you have been here you were an enemy." He turned her hand over, her palm facing upwards. "The only way you can enter the grounds or the house now without triggering a silent alarm to my father, is if you have Malfoy blood. My blood will override the wards." He glanced at Ginny. "Be ready."
Ginny exchanged a shocked look with Blaise, but nodded.
Hermione's heart hammered in her chest. She watched as he held up his own hand and swiped the silver blade across his palm. His hand was quickly covered with blood, glistening black in the fading light. She held her palm up to him and gasped in pain when the blade cut her. Then Draco held his slick, bleeding palm to hers.
"Do you accept my blood freely?" he asked.
She nodded.
"You have to say it," he prompted.
"I freely accept your blood." Her words sounded far away to her.
He muttered an incantation softly and she felt his magic vibrate in her hand, up her arm and through her body. Then she felt an almost imperceptible pulse in her hand, which slowly synchronised with the pounding in her chest. She looked at him in amazement as she realised what it was. She could feel his heartbeat.
Almost as quickly as it had begun, it was over. Draco passed Hermione's hand to Ginny. The redhead grabbed her friend's hand and then reached for Draco's and held it too.
"I can do both at once," she said. They watched as she placed her palms over theirs and closed her eyes briefly. Their hands began to glow softly and the flow of blood slowed, then stopped.
When Draco's hand stopped bleeding, he cast a quick scourgify and reached into the backpack once again and produced a small tub. He opened it and dabbed a small amount of the salve on Hermione's palm. When he was satisfied that the cut was healing, he dabbed some on his own hand.
He resolutely avoided Ginny's eyes as she continued to stare at him in wide eyed shock.
He squeezed Hermione's newly healed hand and pulled her to him in preparation for side-along apparition. Then he took a breath and faced the others. Blaise held Ginny to his chest, also ready.
"Shall we?" he said.
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She had expected to feel the same coldness she'd felt the last time she'd been there, but the rooms were surprisingly warm, given the darkness of the décor which was in keeping with the Gothic exterior. There was not much natural light left in the day, but the soft warm interior lighting was enhanced by a friendly, crackling fire. It felt… like a house. She breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed.
The main living area was divided into lounge, dining and reading areas, around which were four bedrooms, each with a small bathroom. One entire living room wall was covered in shelves, each heaving under the weight of dozens of books.
They turned to look at Draco as he entered the room, having gone downstairs to let the housekeeper know that he and Blaise had arrived and wished to be left alone to rest.
"I will arrange for your meals to be sent up to you here. You can't go wandering around the Manor. Only Topsy and Mrs Fairweather know that Blaise and I are here. You can apparate out to the gardens if you have to, and back here. As long as you aren't seen. I've had the portraits from these rooms removed, but in the rest of the Manor the walls literally have ears."
They nodded. They had lived in worse circumstances in the last months of the war, this would be easy by comparison.
"Let's get unpacked," Ginny stood suddenly and gestured to Blaise. She stared pointedly at Draco as they made their way to one of the rooms.
When they were alone, Draco sat beside Hermione and took her hand in his. He traced the silvery scar on her palm with the tip of his finger. If he didn't explain right now, the look on Red's face convinced him she would do it soon.
"Granger, I should have warned you. About the blood thing. It was the only way. But that's why it's the perfect place for you to hide for a while."
She smiled at him softly. "I know that. And I don't mind."
"You're not angry?" he asked hesitantly.
She frowned. "Why would I be?"
"Because I gave you no choice in the matter. You have my blood now, and that's irreversible. And I know that Muggles sometimes give each other their blood, but it's different in the wizarding world. It's a big thing in our world. We're as good as married now. And I didn't warn you in case you wouldn't want to do it. You wanted to wait."
She looked at him seriously for a moment. "I may have been Muggleborn, Malfoy, but I'm not ignorant, you know. Did you really think I didn't know?"
He stared at her. "You knew?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I knew. I've read about traditional wizarding blood ceremonies, Draco, even though I haven't participated in any. Until now. I suppose I should have expected nothing less from a brilliantly devious Malfoy." She shrugged. "I said I'd marry you and I meant it. Of course, there are one or two things that would have to take place for it to be official, as you know. But those can wait until it's safe."
He pulled her into a tight embrace.
"I'm sorry," he said. "You deserve better. You deserve the perfect ceremony with vows and family and everything.."
She cut him off. "We can wait for those things, Draco."
He stood suddenly. "But we don't have to wait for all of them."
He walked over to the book shelves and after a few moments he found what he was looking for and pulled out a small dusty leather-bound book and flipped through the yellowed pages.
"Here it is," he said. He handed her the little book just as Blaise and Ginny walked in.
"It's ok, she knows," he said in response to Ginny's questioning look.
He turned back to Hermione.
"What do you think?" he asked. "Shall we do it?"
"Yes," she replied with a smile. She handed the little book to Ginny.
"What's that?" Blaise peered at the dusty pages over Ginny's shoulder. Then he realised what she was reading. He gave Draco an approving nod.
Ginny looked delighted. "Do you have vows prepared?"
"We'll wing it. Will you witness it properly?" Draco asked.
Ginny exchanged a grin with Blaise. "We'd be thrilled!" she replied. "Hang on – we'll need a ribbon," she continued, and ran into the bedroom where she and Blaise had just unpacked their clothes. "Don't go anywhere!"
She emerged a few moments later with a long purple velvet ribbon in her hand. Draco, Hermione and Blaise had each taken a moment to study the little book and Blaise took the ribbon from Ginny and handed her the book. She read the page a couple times and, when she was ready, closed it and turned to the others.
Draco pulled Hermione to him and held her tightly.
"Ready?" he asked quietly. He could feel her heart beating in time with his own. It would take some getting used to, he reflected, being aware of someone else's heartbeat.
She looked up at him and nodded, and he gently brushed her hair away from her face. Then he stepped away, took her hands, her left with his left, her right with his right, creating the infinity symbol. His eyes never left hers as they waited.
Blaise carefully wrapped the ribbon around their wrists in several figures of eight, held the loose ends in his hands, cleared his throat and began.
"This ribbon is a symbol of the lives you've chosen to share with each other. As your hands are bound together by it, so shall your lives be bound as one." He released the ribbon ends and stepped back.
Then Draco turned back to Hermione and spoke only to her.
"Hermione Jean Granger, I invoke the spirits of the North, the South, the East and the West to be my witnesses, with my brother Blaise Zabini and your sister Ginevra Weasley, as I make this vow to you. I love you with everything I have to offer to another human being. I swear to be true to you always. I will protect you when you are in danger. I will support you without question. I will be your friend, your family and your husband until the day I die. I swear this with my blood, which I share with you."
Hermione's eyes shone with the sheer joy that he inspired in her. She took a deep breath, trying to calm the tremor in her voice.
"Draco Lucius Malfoy, I invoke the spirits of the North, the South, the East and the West to be my witnesses, with my sister Ginevra Weasley and your brother Blaise Zabini, as I make this vow to you. I celebrate the blood you have shared with me because it binds us together always. You have changed my understanding of love. I love you beyond reason and without boundaries. I swear to be true to you, to support you and to cherish you. I will be your friend, your lover and your wife until the day I die. Today you have shared your blood with me, and from today I will share your life and your name."
They smiled at one another and turned to Blaise and Ginny who were both beaming broadly.
As Blaise spoke, he took the ends of the ribbon, looped them around Draco and Hermione's wrists and tied a knot.
"I am honoured to witness the union of my brother Draco Lucius to Hermione Jean Malfoy. Long may they live and prosper." He turned his eyes to Ginny, chuckling as he saw that her face was as wet as Hermione's.
As Ginny tied another knot, she spoke.
"I am honoured to witness the union of my sister Hermione Jean to Draco Lucius Malfoy. Long may they live and prosper." Ginny's voice cracked as she spoke the final words and as soon as Blaise had gently released the ribbons from their wrists and handed it to Draco, she threw her arms around Hermione and hugged her tightly.
Draco accepted Blaise's congratulations and then he separated the two witches and pulled Hermione to him and held her. He noticed Blaise grinning at him, eyes twinkling.
"What?" he asked, his eyes narrowed.
Blaise gestured to the dusty little book.
"It says you're supposed to consummate your union now."
Draco grinned back at him.
"Well then I suppose I'd better do that. No time like the present to show her who's in charge – ouch!"
He grimaced and rubbed his chest to ease the sting.
"Come on, Weasley! Stop that! It was a joke!"
Ginny raised an eyebrow. "Be nice," she instructed in a deceptively mild tone.
He tugged at Hermione's hand, still rubbing his stinging chest.
"Come, my Lady Malfoy," he said softly. "Before your friend kills me, let me show you how nice I can be." As he led her from the room, he cast a last look back at Blaise.
"You need to tame that one, Blaise. She's far too willful and one of these days – ouch!"
He darted into the bedroom, dragging Hermione behind him and slammed the door shut.
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"I will be back in a couple of days. Don't forget what I said about wandering around the house."
They murmured their agreement.
He pulled his backpack onto his shoulder and pulled Hermione to him and pressed his lips to her forehead.
"I love you, my Lady Malfoy," he whispered into her hair.
Then he released her and moved away to the middle of the room. He turned to them and they stood looking at one another for a moment.
Moments before he apparated, he spoke to Blaise.
"Take care of our witches, Blaise."
And then he was gone.
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"Back to Hogwarts?"
"No, too obvious, and anyway someone would see us."
"Grimauld Place."
"Possibly. But that's the base of the Order and we don't know who we can trust."
"Well we couldn't stay here, and the Zabini homes would be the next places they'd look."
"Well.. what about the Forbidden Forest? It's as well protected as Hogwarts but nobody would dare to go in there to look for us. We could apparate to the Head's office and use the tunnels to avoid being seen. It would be too dangerous to stay for any length of time, obviously, but it would be a starting point."
"That might work, Princess. At least temporarily while we got ourselves organised. We would need to check with McGonagall, but it really might work if it comes to that."
So it was decided.
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"Mione! Wake up."
Hermione stirred and groaned. She opened her eyes and peered blearily at her annoying friend.
"Why, Ginny? Why!?"
"I have a fabulous idea! Move over."
Hermione sighed resignedly, scooched over a bit and closed her eyes again.
"Go on then. What fabulous idea?"
"You know how Draco organised a special… gift for you when you got engaged?"
Hermione hummed sleepily.
"Yes, I remember. I was there."
"Yes, well I had a fabulous idea!"
"So you said," Hermione replied drily. She finally opened her eyes. "Are you going to tell me about it or is it a secret?"
"And do you remember when we played Truth or Dare and what Blaise and Draco both said had been their most memorable experience?"
Hermione nodded. Experience had taught her the futility of pushing Ginny to reveal anything before she was ready. So, although a glimmer was forming in her mind, she waited for Ginny to get there.
"Chloe and Siobhan. That's what they said. So I was thinking…"
"What were you thinking, Gin?" Hermione asked, feeling like the straight man of a comedy duo.
Ginny's eyes were sparkling with a combination of mischief and excitement. "We give them a Ginny and Hermione. Our gift to them."
Hermione sat slowly and stared at her friend for a moment. Her first instinct had been to say no. but as she thought about it, it didn't seem like such a bad idea. It would be completely unexpected and she had no doubt that Draco would love it.
"Actually, Gin, that's not a bad idea."
"I know!" Ginny exclaimed gleefully. Then she elbowed Hermione in the ribs. "Being married suits you, Mione. I'm so happy for you."
"I'm not really married yet, Gin. You know that. We aren't married until we perform the full ceremony. And we can't, not yet."
Full wizarding marriage ceremonies were officiated by a member of the Wizengamot and in the case of the noble families, in the presence of members of at least two other noble houses. As soon as the ceremony was performed and the contract signed, Hermione would appear on the Malfoy family tree tapestries in all Malfoy and Black homes.
"We witnessed vows and that's good enough for us." Ginny said firmly. Then she grinned. "So, is it agreed then? About the Ginny and Hermione? Or would you rather it was a Mione and Ginny?"
Hermione laughed. "Whatever, Gin. I reckon the appeal won't be in the name. Yes, it's agreed. Now go away and let me sleep."
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Hermione was sitting on the sofa with a book. Her hair was damp from the shower and tumbled loosely down her back, leaving a damp spot on the back of the T-shirt she wore. She had been incredibly pleased to see the books in the room. She hadn't been surprised, of course. Malfoy Manor was reputed to house one of the largest private libraries in England. The really good books would obviously be in the library and Lucius's study, but these would do nicely. She sipped her tea.
Ginny sat in one of the armchairs, her legs dangling over the arm of the chair. She was flicking through an outdated copy of Witch Weekly, absently twirling a lock of hair around her index finger. Blaise had found a large pile of music sheets and was tinkling softly on the small piano in the far corner of the living room.
"Gin?" Hermione spoke softly. Ginny glanced up at her friend.
"Do you ever get the feeling that they... hide details from us? You know, when they talk about their work there?" Hermione glanced quickly at Blaise, making sure that he couldn't hear her. Her mind had refused to let go of the several occasions when she had noticed the way that Draco and Blaise had seemed to fast-forward over certain aspects of whatever they were discussing at the time.
"I've noticed too, Mione. But there are things they can't talk about. And things they don't want to talk about."
Hermione closed her book carefully. "I know that, Gin. And maybe they are just trying to protect us. But I don't like it. I don't like secrets. There's something about Lyngvi and what happens there that they are hiding from us."
Ginny nodded. "Yes, I get that feeling too. And it unsettles me as much as you, given the fact that we will be going there ourselves if all goes according to plan. But I trust them both. They will tell us what we need to know."
For a few moments Hermione was silent. Then she suddenly stood and began to pace agitatedly. "Ginny, do you honestly feel ready?" she asked, her eyes troubled. "Do you feel confident that we can pull this off?"
Ginny walked over to Hermione and placed her hands on her shoulders. "Stop it, Mione. We will be ready when we need to be," she said firmly. "I know that I am ready to do whatever I need to do to fight this war. We have lost too much to allow it to happen again. I'm not just in this for Blaise. I'm in this for Fred. And Sirius. And Lupin and Tonks and Dobby and Dumbledore. And the long list of others we lost."
Hermione swallowed. "You're right. We have the opportunity to make sure they didn't die for nothing." She took a deep breath. "And if we don't pull it off, then we run. And we gather the Order together and we fight openly. And let them come for us if they will."
"We will pull it off, Mione. Draco and Blaise wouldn't let us try if they thought we couldn't."
"She's right. We wouldn't." They turned to see Blaise approaching them. "And you will be ready by the time we take you there. We will make sure of that. The hard part is for us to do anyway."
Hermione sighed. "I know you're both right. But once I have something swirling around my head it's hard for me to switch it off."
Blaise raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, cara, Drake has spent a lot of time teaching you how to do exactly that. Try putting it to some good practical use?"
"Meanwhile, how about a glass of wine before we turn in?" Ginny offered, gesturing toward several bottles nestled dustily in a small wine rack above the drinks cabinet.
Blaise laughed. "Those are so old that they are absolutely guaranteed to taste like slug repellant." He walked to the cabinet and opened the small doors. "How about some plain old firewhiskey?"
The two witches accepted and the three of them sat quietly, sipping and marveling at the smoothness of the drink and the opulent glint of the glasses, none of which could be described as plain by any stretch of the imagination.
Hermione cleared her throat. "Blaise?" she began.
"Cara?" he responded. He was half reclining in his seat, relaxed and at ease.
"Did you know about the times Draco tried to help me at school?"
Blaise hesitated. Ginny looked interested, but remarkably remain silent.
"I knew about some of it," he said. "Not all at the time, but some. Why do you ask?"
"I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he could be so different to the boy I thought I knew." She swirled her glass and listened to the ice tinkle.
"If I know Drake," he said slowly, "he told you the small stuff and glossed over the big stuff."
She turned her eyes away from the golden liquid swirl. "There's big stuff?" she queried. "It all seemed pretty big to me. I feel as though I've been unconscious for half my life."
"I only became aware of his double life around about fifth year," Blaise said. "Small clues that most people would have missed. Then I caught him using a non-verbal hex on Umbridge when she was about to walk in on you lot having one of your meetings." The corner of his mouth curled as he remembered. "When I confronted him later he eventually admitted a few things to me."
She shook her head, once again staggered at how much had gone on under her nose for so long.
"Blaise, please tell me about the duel with Harry."
"He hasn't told you himself?"
She shook her head. He had never mentioned it. The silver scars across his chest were the only evidence that the incident had ever happened.
He watched her carefully, trying to gauge how much she already knew, and trying to decide how much he could tell her before it could be seen as a betrayal of trust.
He downed the rest of his drink. He was silent for a long time before he continued. "Some of what I will tell you now is what I only found out later.
"His life was truly shit that year, cara, you need to understand. He was trapped in a very dark place. No matter which way he played it, the outcome would haunt him always. He had nowhere to turn. He stopped eating, he drank too much. He grew gaunt, hardly ever slept."
Blaise paused, remembering. He sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees, his glass loosely between his hands. After almost a minute, he continued.
"I came across him one day before class at the top of the astronomy tower, just gazing out over the grounds, completely alone. As I stood beside him he became aware of me and he said 'Do you ever think about how easy it would be to just jump, Zabini? It would be like falling asleep and it would be all over.' Then he turned to me, and cara, I was scared by what I heard in his voice and saw in his eyes."
He continued to stare into his glass.
"Draco knew that Potter had Severus's spell book. And Severus had already taught Draco that spell, because he suspected that Draco would not be able to cast a full avada when the time came.
"One day in Study Hall, Potter was engrossed in the spell book and I saw Draco cast something that made the pages turn suddenly and fall open at a particular page. Later I realised that he had wanted Potter to know the spell."
Once again Blaise fell silent. Hermione felt a cold dread seeping up her spine. She had a terrible premonition of what Blaise would say next, and willed it to not be true.
"He provoked Potter on purpose. He provoked him into using the spell." Blaise looked up into Hermione's eyes. "He wanted to die. Because he couldn't find any reasons to carry on, but if he had ended his own life they would have killed his mother."
Hermione's eyes blurred with sudden unshed tears. She sat for a while, just taking it in.
"Thank you for telling me, Blaise," she said finally as she stood. "I won't tell him you told me." She walked slowly to her bedroom.
As she lay in the bed, her chest ached for a boy who at sixteen years old felt so hopeless and alone that he could see no other way out than to end his own life. She tried to imagine the pain and fear he must have lived with all of that year and the next. How much courage it must have taken to continue to try to help the cause of a girl who was convinced beyond all reason that he was worth despising.
She lay awake for a long time.
Eventually she slowed her breathing, deliberately focusing only on the inflow and outflow of her breath. Gradually she was able to clear her mind of chatter. She had chosen to wear his t-shirt to bed and now she filled her lungs with the scent of him. She visualised him. Filled her senses with the grey of his eyes, the pale silver of his hair, the hardness of his body, the softness of his mouth. When she was awash in the presence of him, she reached out for him.
"Draco?" she probed.
She waited. It would take much more practice before she would be able to reach him the first time. She tried again. Felt herself breathe in with her entire body, pulling her magic in and letting it fill her up, swirling around with the essence of him that she had created. Then she reached for him again.
"Draco."
She felt a soft shimmer around her. The familiar gentle bubbling across her skin. And he was there.
"Hermione. Are you alright?" She didn't hear him, exactly. It was more like the way she could mentally replay dialogues from muggle movies. She... felt him and sensed his response.
"Yes, we're all fine. I miss you."
"I miss you too. Everything went well. They will be fine here for a while. I'm coming home soon."
She smiled into the darkness of the bedroom. "How soon?"
"Soon. Are you in bed?"
"Yes."
She thought she felt his lips brush her forehead. "Has Blaise been looking after you?" he asked.
"Yes."
Her head began to ache and she felt him slipping away.
"Good. Go to sleep. Think about me. I will be with you soon."
She rolled over and as she drifted off she thought about how many forms courage could take, and thanked all the gods in all the heavens that she had found out in time to spend the rest of her life loving him.