Thank you for your kind attention to this story. It would be nothing without you dear readers -bows-
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto
Warning: Slight Violence
Beta: Arcturus Antlia Black
Going to admit it now – I got lazy with the preliminary fights.
There was the sound of chaos ahead of us.
Pedo-snake and Team 7 were already at it.
"Motherfucker," Hidan growled as we sped up, "The damn pedo-snake is fucking fast".
"This is not good," Haku agreed.
Itachi's killer intent spiked.
"Tachi, let's show the pedo-snake not to touch your otouto," I smirked.
"Agreed," the flash of red behind the Weasel mask signified his use of what I suspected was the Mangekyo.
"We most likely cannot kill him with only the four of us here," Haku pointed out.
"No," I shook my head, "But we can certainly kick his ass and drive him away to wait for the invasion".
"Fuck yeah, I like the way you think, bitch," Hidan grinned.
A few moments later
By the time we got there, pedo-snake had already put the five-pronged seal on Naruto.
He'd also successfully frozen Duck-butt and Sakura.
He mocked them by burning his scroll. "My name is Orochimaru. If you want to see me again then survive and pass this exam," he hissed in his usual creepy pedo-snake way.
"What the hell are you talking about?! We'd never want to see your face again!" Sakura shouted at him.
"Hehe... It won't go that way," he made a hand sign. He gave a large creepy smile, showing fangs.
"Hello, Sasuke-kun. I have a gift for you".
His neck elongated, streaking for the Duck-butt.
"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu".
Pedo-snake got a mouthful of flames, hissing in pain as his neck retracted, leaving Duck-butt unmarked.
I couldn't help my laugh.
Go Itachi! Show that pedo-snake who's boss! I knew you were my favorite Uchiha for a reason!
Hidan jumped in, lashing out with his scythe, forcing the pedo-snake back.
Into a shower of senbon from both Haku and myself.
"See ANBU-san?" I spoke cheerfully "Those faceless bodies and what-not you mentioned led here".
"I suggest you fucking run, bastard," Hidan whirled his scythe in a threat.
"There are more ANBU on the way," Haku added.
Itachi picked up where we were going with this. He was practically shaking in rage, not wanting to let the pedo-snake go. But it was not a smart idea to challenge him just yet.
"Thank you, Sakuragakure genins," he adopted the formal tone of an ANBU captain. "We'll be sure to keep a close eye on yourselves and Team 7 so that Orochimaru cannot interfere with this exam any further".
Pedo-snake gave a pained angry hiss at us. But with his mouth burnt and more ANBU supposedly on the way, he sank into the tree limb for a tunneling jutsu, vanishing.
Probably off for his encounter with Anko.
Itachi turned, going briefly to each of the Team 7 members, still acting his role as an ANBU captain.
He lifted Naruto's shirt to expose his stomach.
"Kai!" he undid Orochimaru's five-pronged seal. "He will most likely not wake up until tomorrow," he informed the other members of Team 7.
"T-thank you... ANBU-san," Sakura shook.
Duck-butt went to pull Naruto over his should glaring at all of us. "Thank you," he muttered, obviously not liking thanking anybody but recognizing that we'd helped.
"W-why...?" Sakura questioned us.
"Why did we fucking help?" Hidan finished for her "Be-fucking-cause that bastard is a pedo-snake. You don't want any of your damn team members near him".
"Village loyalties aside, we are all genin," Haku continued, "We should stick together against threats like that".
"Don't worry, we'll leave you all in peace now," I grinned. We'd keep a lookout from afar.
Let the fights in the Forest continue as normal.
We'd just be insurance that pedo-snake would not return.
Since Sasuke and Sakura were both in bad condition, the fight with the Sound trio went mostly according to canon.
Sasuke even got the power surge, but this time, it was just him being hax. No curse mark involved.
Sakura still had to hold him back from going after the remaining Sound nin.
"Fucking boring. And we still need the damn Heaven scroll to keep up shitty appearances".
"I got it," I grinned, nipping my hand "Or rather these two got it". My Yin/Yang thief cats appeared with a poof.
"To-!" I covered Kasai's mouth before he could finish his bouncing greeting.
"Right now, I'm just Neko," I informed "We're looking for a Heaven scroll. Don't steal it from any main Konoha genin or the Sand genin. Anyone else is fair game. If you can get it from the glasses-creeper that's even better".
"Of course, Neko-sama," Mizu dipped her head and the duo streaked off into the forest.
"Still fucking calling hax on those," Hidan informed.
"Says the immortal," I retorted.
"We will watch Team 7 for as long as possible," Itachi ignored our bickering.
"Of course ANBU-san," Haku nodded, "Orochimaru will not get near Sasuke-san a second time".
"Even if he fucking does, it's not like you can't set his ass on fire," Hidan snickered.
"Oh! Stick him in Tsukuyomi! Then, once you're done with that set him on fire with Amaterasu! Maybe even make him go 'katsu' by borrowing some of Dei's clay!" I offered.
"Neko-chan your so damn sexy when you talk violent like that. Why are you with the Sushi-bastard?" Hidan whined.
"I do not care how Orochimaru goes down. So long as Sasuke is safe," Itachi responded, though I sensed he was considering following my advice and going for the most violent end he could possibly create.
Nope.
Never ever making Itachi angry. It was unhealthy.
Some time later
"We got it from some Ame genin," Mizu informed as Kasai deposited the Heaven scroll.
"We tried the glasses-creeper, but he got into the Tower," Kasai pouted.
"Jashin damn it. Oh well," I sighed, "Thanks guys, see you later".
"Good luck Neko-chan!" Kasai chirped.
"Farewell Neko-sama," Mizu dipped her head.
Both poofed away.
"Off to the Tower then. ANBU-san, can you see if you can't go find our sensei? Team 7 is in the Tower and safe," I grinned at Itachi.
"Very well. Farewell Sakuragakure genins," Weasel flickered away.
"Now lets go make it before the time limit! Race ya Hida-kun!"
"You're fucking on, Neko-chan".
"Must you two be so energetic?"
We literally came crashing in right as Team 7 summoned Iruka.
"Right on time. I suppose all six of you pass the test, even if the Sakura genin team weren't the ones who summoned me. You still made it," Iruka grinned.
"Iruka-sensei! What about the missing word on the wall?" Naurto demanded.
Iruka went the the whole speech about the chuunin motto.
My 'team' just looked at each other.
Nothing like hearing a chuunin motto to make an S-rank nuke-nin feel awkward.
A few moments later
With the addition of us, there were now eight passing teams.
"Panda-kun!" I greeted "You all passed!"
Gaara gave me that neutral scowl. Probably had been hoping we wouldn't make it.
"Well done," I smiled.
Silent glare.
"Oh come on, cheer up. You get to see if I'm really as interesting as I seem," I refused to let Tanuki-panda's antisocial nature dampen this one-sided conversation.
"Why do you insist on talking to me?" he finally responded.
"Cause you're awesome," I replied bluntly, "And adorable. I'm serious about wanting to adopt you and keep you".
"..." silent stare. Tanuki-panda was really unsure what to make of me.
Hayate appeared coughing, as usual.
Poor sick guy. I fully intended on saving him and then making him get checked out by Tsunade.
He told us about the prelims and the offer for us to drop out.
The only difference was that this time was that glasses-creeper didn't quit.
Probably wanting information on us for his nin-cards.
"Hida-kun, Yuki-kun," I spoke softly to them, "No special abilities. Avoid anything besides weapons and taijutsu".
We couldn't afford letting glasses-creeper know much of anything about us.
"Hai, Neko-chan," Haku nodded.
"Fucking fine. Damn boring though," Hidan grouched.
"Twenty-four, no drop-outs," Hayate coughed, "That makes twelve matches".
Yay.
Sarcasm fully intended.
"This controls your fate," he pointed to the unveiled computer. "First match".
Hida vs Akado Yori
"Fucking first?" Hidan smirked "I like this damn computer".
Hidan was up against the chakra drainer. This would be interesting.
"May I request a different opponent?" Yori's task was to fight Sasuke after all.
The 'sensei' that was Orochimaru was scowling. Our own Karasu-sensei was standing there, hands in pockets, looking as if absently thinking of other things.
I knew Itachi was really being a super sneaky Weasel about watching the pedo-snake.
"No," Hayate coughed with a glare, "You fight who you're given. Or you forfeit. Simple as that".
Yori scowled under his mask.
Pedo-snake was having a hard time controlling his own expression from becoming a worse scowl.
There was a subtle motion from Kabuto. Probably a signal for the go-ahead since he wanted info.
"Very well. I will fight this... Hida," Yori went for the center of the arena.
"Everyone not in the match please go to the upper levels," Hayate nodded.
"Kick his ass, Hida-kun!" I called walking up. It was the agreed upon code.
'Kick his ass' was simple. It meant Hidan was free to win so long as he refrained from jutsu.
'Be careful' would've meant he had to lose.
"Will do Neko-chan," Hidan smirked at me.
Now to see how the chakra drainer liked going against our local immortal zealot.
It really was a pity Hidan couldn't sacrifice him.
Yori launched at Hidan, obviously going for the hit to drain his chakra.
Hidan backed up. And side stepped at the last moment. Letting Yori run into the wall full force.
"He's fast!" someone commented.
I snickered.
You should see the zealot when he's not playing around.
Plus, you haven't seen fast until you've gone up against Itachi.
Yori growled, turning moving to attack again.
"That all you got fucker?" Hidan whirled with a kick to send him into another wall.
I was beginning to suspect the zealot had a wall fetish with how much he enjoyed knocking opponents into them.
This went on for a few moments more. Lunge, Dodge. Get kicked or hit into a wall or sometimes the floor.
Hidan got bored, finally following after his prey. He rested his scythe against Yori's neck while the guy was recovering from his latest trip into solid brick.
"Yield bastard. Or I'm digging my damn scythe into your fucking spine".
"Yield," Yori snarled.
"Match winner: Hida from Sakuragakure".
"Go Hida-kun!" I cheered.
Glasses-creeper was obviously unhappy he hadn't gotten anything useful out of that outside of Hidan's (much reduced) speed and the fact he enjoying making opponents eat dirt.
"Next match," Hayate stated. Shino vs Zaku Abumi
Cue canon fight.
Shino is such a bad ass.
I wish I could fangirl over him. Sadly, fangirling over Tanuki-panda take precedence.
"Next". Tsurugi Misumi vs Yuki
"Kick his ass too, Yuki!" I cheered.
Haku nodded as he jumped down into the arena.
All I knew about Misumi was his speed and ability to snap necks.
But I knew Haku was faster. He was the only one of us that gave Itachi a decent spar speed wise.
"I'll end this quickly," Misumi dashed for Haku.
"As you wish," Haku gave that creepy pleasant smile that reminded me of Sai.
Then he flickered out of sight, reappearing behind Misumi to jab him in the neck with senbon.
Misumi dropped.
"Temporary death state," Haku informed Hayate, "But he cannot continue".
Everyone stared at Haku with open mouths.
Glasses-creeper was furious that he got basically zilch info again.
"What's with these Sakura genin?" someone muttered.
Hehe... if only you knew.
"Next". Ino vs Kankuro
I burst out laughing.
Sucks to be you Ino!
I doubt I need to say how pathetically fast this fight was.
Kankuro wiped the floor with Ino.
And was a bad ass while doing so.
No such luck for you though cat-puppet! My fangirlism only goes for your brother!
"Next". Sasuke vs Sakura
I fell over on the floor I was laughing so hard.
Jashin, I loved this computer!
"F-fight Sasuke-kun?!" Sakura protested "I-I can't!"
Sasuke glared at her, obviously wanting a match to show his skills.
"Do you forfeit Sakura-san?" Hayate stared at her as he coughed.
"H-hai! I forfeit!" she nodded.
"Winner by default Uchiha Sasuke. Next match".
Sasuke sulked, sending death glares at his kunoichi team mate.
Temari vs Tenten.
Another canon match.
I always knew these things were rigged.
I couldn't help my grimace watching the match. Tenten, why must you suck?! We have the same weapon! Be more bad ass!
Temari won, as per canon.
"Next". Kabuto vs Neko
"NOT THE GLASSES-CREEPER!" I whined loudly.
Jashin damn you computer!
"Kick ass Neko-chan!" Hidan sniggered at me.
"Good luck," Haku offered.
"Be careful," Itachi warned.
Well at least I knew he was going to have to hold back. He couldn't show his real strength yet.
Still, I did not want to be fighting glasses-creeper solo!
Where's my sexy Shark when I need him?!
I jumped down into the arena with another whine. "Glasses-creeper," I greeted.
"Neko-chan, I fail to see what I've done to deserve that nickname," Kabuto offered his oh-so-very-fake friendly smile.
"Cause you're a glasses-creeper that's why," I answered scowling at him.
"Go Kabuto!" Naruto cheered.
I slumped.
Break my heart why don't you Naru?
I forgave him though. Right now he thought Kabuto was a good guy.
I was probably going to have to break my no ninjutsu rule to win this.
I guessed if I hid the hand signs and whispered what I intended to use, I could keep Kabuto from learning much about me either.
Silently I thanked Jashin for recruiting Haku and Zabuza.
Zabuza was a porcupine Demon, but with Haku's insistence they'd both taught us about one handed signs.
Giving Yūgure another tool in our arsenal.
Shamelessly I moved into a fighting stance, covering the hand sign I wanted.
I felt the familiar sensation of the Rai Ken speed boost.
Kabuto whirled into a taijutsu attack.
Sorry, glasses-creeper. About to show you what I did for my genin exams.
Normally, my speed was good, but I was outclassed by Itachi, Haku, and sometimes even Kisame.
With Rai Ken active though?
I could almost keep pace with our resident Uchiha.
I flickered forward, launching my electrified senbon, not caring where I hit.
I wasn't going for the kill. I knew Kabuto was much too strong for me alone.
What I was hoping was that he was underestimating me and that I'd get the paralysis.
Kabuto cursed, freezing up.
Teach you to underestimate people glasses-creeper.
I'm glad he did though. Otherwise he'd have handed my ass to me on a silver platter.
I waltzed up, dropping the Rai Ken so he couldn't sense what'd I'd done, putting a kunai to his throat. "Dead," I chimed.
"Winner Neko of Sakuragakure".
And so the matches went on, canon fights for the rest of the period.
Kurenai POV
That girl...
She looked so familiar.
But she was different...
And much too young to be that girl she'd faced in her own chuunin exams...
A relative of some sort perhaps?
Either way, she was quite skilled.
She found herself wondering about that Sudachi girl for the first time in a long while. That kunoichi was supposedly an S-rank nuke-nin now.
How things change...
She vaguely wondered, if they met again, if she'd be the victor in a fight this time around.
After all, they don't give out S-rank to people who didn't earn it.
She sighed at herself as she moved to watch the remaining fights.
One strangely familiar girl and she was wondering odd things.
Omake – Strange, Gaara POV
He was confused.
For someone who was normally very certain about himself and his actions, confusion was a rarity.
He didn't like being confused.
Normally, most everyone who he came across was in danger of being fed to Mother.
He'd almost killed her to do so.
Then she'd called him 'panda' of all things and had touched him.
Touched. HIM.
He'd been so shocked, his mind had gone quiet for the first time since he'd been born.
Even Mother's voice was silent.
She insisted on being friendly.
No matter what he'd done to scare her away.
Very... odd kunoichi.
He found her interesting.
There was the distinct feeling she'd ended her preliminary fight as quickly as she could.
He wanted to know more.
She was psychotic. She must be to approach him so openly. Insisting on the fact he was... adorable.
That she would... adopt him and... keep him.
Interesting.
He hoped for a chance to fight her.
He might not even offer her blood to Mother.
Perhaps, instead, it would be she would would end up being kept as a pet.
After all, psychopaths should stick together.
Really not happy with these fights, but we all know how the preliminary matches went and I didn't want to linger over them -sigh-
Poor Koneko having to face glasses-creeper alone. Be very glad he was underestimating you AND holding back. Only reason she won that.
Next time – "Be careful Hida-kun!"
"You've got to be fucking kidding me! I gotta fight that shitty bastard?!"
...
"My my, Itachi-kun. Wasn't expecting to facing you during this invasion".
"Orochimaru. It is in your best interest to retreat. Or I will make you".