Dear Alfred,

I'm sure you're surprised by this letter just as I am surprised that I'm actually writing it. I suppose I needed to man up.

It's been a long time since I've written a letter and frankly, I don't know where the hell to even start. Of all the messed up things I have done, there is nothing that I am more sorry for than for what I said to you that day when you came to the house.

I would never hurt the only person that ever truly gave a damn about me and made me feel like I was worth something. That was you, Alfred.

Threatening you was unacceptable and I understand if you can't forgive me for that.

I'm not sorry for a lot of what I said to you, if I'm honest, but my delivery was shit (pardon my language). I appreciate what you were trying to do but, yeah, it's too little too late for a lot of things. That's just the way it is, Al.

Please don't try finding me again. I've left Gotham and don't plan on returning so dear old Bruce doesn't have to worry about me anymore. Not that I particularly care about how he feels but it should make your life easier. Or at least, I hope it does.

You've done so much for me, and that ungrateful bastard will probably never realize just how much you've done for him either. I never understood a lot of the shit you let him get away with over the years but I guess some questions don't have answers. I've learned to live with that.

Take care of yourself and don't let the man get you down.

Jason

Alfred had read the letter slowly, each word a link in an ever growing chain that could very well suffocate him.

No packages had been expected that day and Alfred was surprised to receive word from the mail delivery service that there had been a package addressed to him awaiting his pick up.

Even more surprising was the looping cursive on the package that had been instantly recognizable. The ride back to the manor with the package resting next to him in the passenger seat had been rather suspenseful.

Luckily, the inhabitants of Wayne Manor were either out or sleeping, which was just as well considering the last several days had been filled with more than the usual dramatics.

After an unexpectedly heated exchange with Master Bruce (mostly from Alfred's end) and an early retirement to bed upon dealing with the Jason Todd sized elephant in the room, Alfred had awoken the next morning to a tense breakfast table.

Master Tim and Master Bruce had not said much to each other except for the required "Good morning" before the former had been the first one up from the table.

Patrol that previous evening had been particularly short, and based on what Alfred had found out from Miss Gordon, Master Bruce had taken it upon himself to confront Mr. Queen in the most appalling manner.

The end result had been Master Timothy and Master Bruce arguing about how to proceed with regards to the 'Todd situation'.

Master Timothy had been quite right in his response that based on the facts, there was no 'Todd situation'. There was however, a growing 'Queen situation' that was of Master Bruce's own making if he wasn't careful. Thankfully Mr. Queen was not prone to unnecessary escalations but there was only so many times one could poke a sleeping bear before it gave up on sleep and reacted.

Of course, Alfred knew it was Master Bruce's shock that served to drive this desire to understand how his second son had suddenly appeared in the light of day and in such a public manner alongside Mr. Queen.

Regardless of the reasons behind Master Bruce's actions however, Alfred did not approve and hoped that his stance on the matter (and what he would do should the man continue down this route) was taken seriously.

Thankfully, it appeared as though it was.

The next week or so had things seemingly back to normal, albeit with the extra tension, but nothing that wouldn't diminish over time.

Mr. Queen was no longer in Gotham and Master Jason made no other sudden appearances in the media but now it seemed that Master Jason was no longer in Gotham and with no intention of coming back.

'It's all my fault.' That was Alfred's only thought as he read the letter once more, noting the carefully worded script. Master Jason had been very intentional with his penmanship, taking his time when writing the letter which was clearly meant to be a goodbye.

There was of course, the package itself, which was carefully packed and revealed a smaller box that contained an item covered in fabric.

The fact that it was indeed a book, as Alfred had suspected, made the man smile, gently picking up the very old and very exquisite looking copy of A Christmas Carol.

It wasn't a first edition (of which the manor libraries contained two copies), not that Alfred gave a damn about that but it was beautifully illustrated.

A tan leather bookmark was between the pages towards the end of the book, and Alfred opened to the particular pages, wondering if its placement was intentional.

It was Stave 4, The Last of the Spirits, and as Alfred began to read the chapter, memories of reading it alongside a young Master Jason came forth, sitting in the study with hot cups of tea and a roaring fireplace.

"Men's courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead," said Scrooge. "But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change..."

Alfred let his fingers run over the words, knowing there were a great many things those two sentences were meant to convey.

"Alfred? You up there?"

"One moment, Master Timothy." Alfred responded politely, placing the book and letter away in his desk drawer before making his way out of his room and down the hallway.

Jason looked at his phone, feeling some type of way now that his package had been signed for and delivered.

The Doc had been right; it may have taken him several rewrites but eventually he felt his letter had been somewhat decent and sealed it up, placing it carefully on top of the old edition of A Christmas Carol that he had found when he had passed by an antique bookshop while taking Bud for a walk.

He had backtracked before he realized he was doing it and ten minutes later had walked out with the book carefully wrapped in a bag and a sense of resolve. Alfred deserved an apology, and Jason wanted a clean slate. Or as clean a slate as he could have.

He had spent the last three evenings in the workspace and control center Queen had offered to him, looking over everything, needing to really think about what he wanted to become and represent in Star City (and beyond). Yet, he couldn't move forward with anything, not with his guilt over his treatment of Alfred still ever present.

It wasn't going to go away, and Jason wasn't expecting it to, but now that he was back at Grell Ave., he felt more settled.

He came to stand in front of the full armor prototype that had caught his eye on the first night and slowly exhaled.

"Here we go."

For the next two weeks, Jason spent all his time at Grell Ave., piecing together parts, reviewing schematics and equipment, and determined to do what Queen said the Bats had been unable to do with small plated armor in terms of MR-fluid and the quad-tip titanium plating.

Queen checked in with him here and there, and even Jason actively reached out as well, usually when it came to updating inventory requests or if he needed a second opinion.

He intentionally avoided asking Roy, feeling like it would have looked too much like showing off resources that his friend currently had no access to. Jason didn't particularly feel like he deserved any of this, but hoped that the surprise of the space would be fun to see Roy's reaction to. Well that and the fact that communicating with Roy was very much attached to the kids and Jason was trying very hard not to backtrack.

It was particularly difficult this morning as he'd woken up to a video call from Roy, who revealed Edgar and Evelyn, all dressed up in their school uniforms, their navy blazers with the school crest prominently on display. The kids looked extremely excited, showing off their uniforms for him along with what their classes were for the day.

He had pretended he didn't know anything about their finalized school schedules, acting genuinely surprised when Edgar exclaimed that he'd chosen a variety of classes including advanced computer science, fencing, graphic design, French as his second language, and German just because he wanted to speak three languages.

Evelyn had signed up for Judo and equestrian (although unable to participate in either until her arm and leg healed), Advanced Shakespeare, French, and German, among other things, and Jason thought the two of them were taking on way too much for their first time at school but said nothing of it, basking in their joy.

"We miss you!" both of them declared before Roy got them ready to head out.

"I miss you too." Jason smiled, trying to be happy. He was missing their first fucking day of school.

It shouldn't have mattered, but it did. Much more so than it should have.

Terry also made an appearance, in the arms of a steely looking Artemis, and Jason was surprised to find that the once quiet child had shouted "Jay!" with glee, and was babbling away at him, gesticulating wildly and telling some sort of story that he couldn't make heads or tails of but he didn't care.

"Bye bye, Jay!" Terry waved his small hand at the screen, and Jason had waved back, trying to catch Artemis' eye only to be met with a cold stare and a curt nod to signal the call was over. Biz had only just managed to wave cheerily at the camera before the call was ended.

Jason had leaned back in his chair, heaving a deep sigh.

"Fuck."

It had taken longer than usual that day to get his head in the game, but he had, and continued to do so.

It actually helped that Queen put in an appearance later on in the day.

"I come bearing gifts." Queen said by way of greeting, placing a ZERO Halliburton case on the workbench.

Jason didn't hesitate to open the case up, looking at the pieces that he had ordered and running his fingers over them. The tech he could handle himself, but the materials had been a very precise custom order. He wasn't sure how Queen appeared to deliver on things without the notable support, although the man had said he didn't work alone. As long as Jason stayed out of whatever inner circle Queen had, then he didn't care about how he was getting his supplies.

One of the first things Jason had done was to redesign his helmet, knowing it was definitely due for an upgrade. Just because he wouldn't be the Red Hood didn't mean he had to give up the one piece of equipment that made him feel safe.

"Want some help?" Queen offered.

Jason paused, before beginning to take the pieces from the molded support foam.

"Sure."

Whether or not Queen had actually expected to be taken up on his offer was unknown, but the older man took off his suit jacket and laid it over the back of the chair, before taking a seat.

"Ears, huh?" Queen asked, unable to keep the amusement out of his voice.

"The better to hear you with, Queen." Jason smirked, his eyes glued to the table, already beginning to make use of the tools beside him.

Four hours in and the external structure of the helmet was complete and ready for internal electronics. Queen had underestimated how thorough Jason would be but it was a surprising treat to watch the young man at work. There was no doubt about just how gifted Jason Todd was.

"The blue camo pattern should arrive tomorrow." Queen said, flexing his back and feeling the pops alongs his spine as he let out a pleased sigh. Time had gone by quickly.

"Great, thanks." Jason said, moving to the fridge and grabbing a water for himself before tossing another to Queen.

"Any thought on the name?"

"Not yet. It'll come to me, I'm sure." Jason murmured, now holding the helmet in his hands and staring at the reflective blue eye panels.