"Watch out, Xena!" Gabrielle shouted seconds before the rock fell heavily to the ground.
Xena stared wide eyes at it deeply embedded itself into the earth. Realizing that it could have hit her, she glanced up at a rather red faced Gabrielle. She gestured wildly to it looking for the words to say.
"Good job that not my head!" Xena said pointing to the ground.
Gabrielle came over guiltily. "I know, I know. I'm so sorry." She bent and tried to wrench it out of the dirt but it was no use. The thing was stuck and her fingers were already slippery from the mud. Her nails scratched against the smooth surface, making her cringe. "I told you I'm bad at throwing!"
After days of being stuck inside the cave, Xena had decided to go hunting for food and not wanting to be alone, Gabrielle had insisted of following along. Xena didn't mind at first. The prospect of having Gabrielle with her made her happier than anything. However, when it came to actually hunting, Gabrielle was so heavy footed and inept at controlling herself and her loud breathing that she scared most of the prey away, leaving Xena frustrated.
As a way to keep Gabrielle involved and not scare potential food, Xena decided to train her to use a weapon. It had meant to be a solution to catching the food if it ever ran in her direction when escaping from Xena's clutches. All attempts fell flat. Gabrielle's lack of upper body strength prevented her from swinging from the coiled vines and throwing rocks heavy enough to kill animals instantly were proving difficult too and the evidence was dangerously obvious.
Gabrielle sighed and placed her hands on her hips. "Look, maybe it'll best that I just stay in the cave? It's obvious that I'm no good at this. I don't know what I was thinking."
"What will Gabrielle do in the cave until I come back?" Xena replied.
Gabrielle opened her mouth to answer but no words came. She thought about that for a long moment. There wasn't really anything she could do when she thought about it. The cave was practically bare; there was nothing for her to clean or tidy. There weren't even any scrolls for her to read, except perhaps the ones she had written in whenever the opportunity presented itself to her, but she had been feeling her inspiration was a little lacking. She thought about staying and bathing in the pool but there was only so much looking at her own pruney skin that she could take.
"I…" she said quietly.
Xena crossed her arms and smiled, tilting her head. "Gabrielle can stay with me. I will teach you."
Gabrielle made a face. "Teach me what? I already know how to stomp around and scare food away," she mumbled.
Xena shook her head at the rock in the ground and looked at her seriously. "No rocks."
"No rocks," Gabrielle agreed, stepping away from it.
Xena smiled at her expression. She turned and began walking around, exploring the ground. She didn't need to look to know Gabrielle was following her. Xena could almost feel the woman's presence, just like when she could sense her brothers. It was something palpable; the way the human breathed was a sound Xena had grown accustomed to. It felt strange not hearing it.
When she saw a stick nearby she picked it up and gave it to Gabrielle. "Gabrielle can use this?"
Gabrielle took the stick in between her fingers and wiggled it. She narrowed her eyes at Xena. "This? Xena, there's barely enough here for firewood. What am I gonna kill with this? A worm?"
"Gabrielle silly!" Xena laughed. "You have to dig for them and they don't taste nice."
"Eww, okay, thanks. I always wanted to know how worms tasted. Thanks for clearing it up for me. Lovely." She threw the stick away and stood up. "I need something thicker and taller. A little branch like that wouldn't save me against something big like a deer or a wolf."
The silence stretched on until Gabrielle realized what she had said. Her ears started to warm in shame and when she turned, Xena was staring at the ground sadly. Gabrielle moved to her immediately. She rubbed "Sorry, I didn't realize what I said. I didn't mean-,"
Xena smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "It okay, Gabrielle."
Gabrielle wasn't convinced as she watched the woman walk away to search for more sticks in the underbrush.
It had been almost a week since Gabrielle had woken to Xena and heard what had happened between her and the other wolf. Every night since, Xena had sat at the cave mouth looking up at the sky, listening for anything from her family. There had been the odd howl every now and then, but they had been so far away and in between that Xena had concluded that they were either too far away or they weren't howls from her pack.
She could see how much it was killing Xena not being with them. Gabrielle had been away from her family for years, but she would still hear word from them via messengers. Granted that it was obvious to her now that they had been lying about their situation, but Gabrielle had at least been comforted by some truth from them. They would speak about what they had done during the week, how her mother had learned a new recipe or how Lila was trying and struggling with the farm work. Each one had helped her cope being away from them. Without the same form of communication, she couldn't even begin to imagine how Xena was feeling.
Finally, Xena seemed to find a stick big enough to use. It was thick and long, almost standing up to the same height as Xena's shoulder. She smiled as she turned. Xena hacked off the remaining branches and leaves still clinging to it before handing it over.
"This one?" she said.
Gabrielle held the stick in her hand. The smell of dirt and rotting leaves emanated from the stick and filled her nostrils. She could only imagine how long it had been sat buried under the earth. Despite its smell and appearance, the stick held well. She tested it against the ground, a tree and rocky wall, but it neither shattered nor splintered under impact.
She smiled and nodded approvingly at Xena. "I think it will do."
Xena sat on the flat side of a broken tree trunk nearby and gestured to the stick. "Show me."
"What?" Gabrielle looked at the stick. "What am I supposed to do?"
Xena didn't answer. Instead she just sat there, grinning and waiting. Gabrielle was sure the woman was making fun of her. As she watched Xena's eyes lit up mischievously. Gabrielle didn't even see the first stone Xena threw at her. It hit her fingers and almost caused her to drop the stick.
"Ouch!" Gabrielle protested. She leaned the stick against her chest and inspected the backs of her fingers. A small mark was starting to redden near her knuckles. "Ow, Xena. That hurt…"
"Move, Gabrielle. Protect you," Xena ordered
Again, Xena bent down near her and picked up a handful of stones.
"Oh, no you don't!" Gabrielle warned.
She grabbed the stick and started moving back. She quickly lifted the stick and her free hand to guard her face, but the stones never stopped coming. One after another they pelted her hands, the stick, her arms and shoulders, each leaving a little mark and small pain blooming across her skin.
"Woman! Would you-ow! Okay, that's it!" Gabrielle stuck her tongue out at the woman and ran away toward one of the massive trees looming above the others surrounding them.
"Gabrielle?" Xena drawled playfully. She smirked, tossing a small rock up and down as she appeared around the tree Gabrielle was hiding behind.
Gabrielle started running and gasped in surprised when a stone came flying past her face. Deciding to face down her mad stone-throwing attacker, Gabrielle turned and lifted the stick, double handing it in front of her offensively. She planted her feet; dry branches snapped under her as she positioned herself, waiting.
"You wanna go?" she declared.
"Go?"
"Yeah." Gabrielle began side stepping and Xena copied her until they ended up circling one another. She puffed out her chest and adopted a look of determination. "You want some of this, Xena? Think you can take this?"
The only response she got was a strange confused look from Xena.
Gabrielle shook her arms and hands and began rolling her shoulders. She nodded to herself. "Okay, I can do this…I can do this. Hey…what are you? I wasn't ready, Xena!"
"You did this," Xena replied then nodded to show what she meant.
Gabrielle stood up straight. "That didn't mean I was ready!"
"When you ready?"
"When I say I'm ready, okay?"
At Xena's nod Gabrielle resumed her previous position. She gave the stick a twirl and rolled her shoulders once more, gripping her weapon tighter. She stared at Xena and wondered if she would go easy on her. Gabrielle had wanted this, to know how to use a weapon, but she didn't think she would be facing down an excited and playful six foot woman and a handful of stones. Xena was used to roughhousing with her wolf brothers and sisters. Gabrielle knew she wasn't strong enough if Xena decided to force her down.
At the thought she felt a strange heated tingle run up her spine and she smiled goofily. Seeing Xena look at her weirdly, she gave Xena the sign she was ready and swung when she threw a stone in her direction.
"Damn. I nearly had it!" Gabrielle complained. She struck the ground with the bottom of her stick and nodded. "Again."
They continued to practice until Gabrielle's arms started to ache. One after another, Xena threw the stones to Gabrielle and the bard swung each time, sometimes missing or only just clipping it as it sailed toward her. A few times Gabrielle suffered a blow to the back of her knuckles or her knees. They would stop until Gabrielle shook off the sting and then continued at her nod.
As time wore on, Gabrielle became more determined, almost harbouring a kind of anger that left Xena feeling uneasy. The human's face was set, her eyes focused and her jaw clenched. It was only when Gabrielle lowered her stick to block an attack, misinterpreting its direction causing it to hit her in the face that Xena finally decided to call it quits.
"What are you doing?" Gabrielle panted. She rubbed her eyebrow where the stone hit. "I'm not done yet!"
Xena approached her. She wiped Gabrielle's forehead carefully with the back of her hand and showed the human the sheen of sweat that covered her. Surprised, Gabrielle smiled crookedly.
"Wow."
"You need rest," Xena said.
Gabrielle shook her head wordlessly and rested it against Xena's shoulder. "I don't…need rest," she breathed. She inhaled and gasped, bringing her hand to her ribs. "Ah, I think I have a stitch."
Xena smiled fondly. She cupped the back of Gabrielle's head and stroked her hair. "Rest."
Gabrielle looked up at the woman and grinned. "Yeah, yeah. I heard you."
Xena moved her hand lower until she was cupping Gabrielle's cheek. She noticed a small red mark developing at the corner of the human's right eyebrow. Even though Gabrielle didn't complain or say anything about it, Xena knew she must be in pain. Every now and then she would blink too quickly or try and keep her eye open but the effort hurt her to do it. Very carefully, Xena brushed her thumb pad across Gabrielle's eyebrow. A quiet gasp. A wince in pain and Xena lowered her hand.
"Gabrielle-?"
Gabrielle slapped her hand over Xena's mouth, effectively stopping her from finishing her sentence. "No, I already know what you're going to say and it's okay." She let her hand drop and turned to walk away, using the stick as a support for her fatigue. "C'mon. Let's get some lunch."
~X~
Xena stared into the fire. The collective sounds of trees rustling, the wind blowing over the mouth of the cave and the fire crackling felt strange to her. No more did she look to all these things as just nature or Gabrielle's fire as something new. Rather it felt normal to her. Almost as if she was coming home. When she was with the pack, Xena would wait for most of the others to go to sleep or Autolycus and Joxer to stop moving around before she would crawl in next to them and fall to sleep. Being with Gabrielle, she felt she didn't need to do that anymore. It felt as if it was something she was meant to do.
It felt right.
She looked up. Sitting across from her, poking the fire and eating the already cooked meat of a rabbit Xena had managed to catch warmed her heart. When Xena had first found her, Gabrielle was a bumbling babe in the woods, tripping over tree roots, screaming at almost everything or walking so stiffly. Now? Gabrielle seemed to have grown a knack for living in the forest. She moved quicker, listened to the sounds of nature and unknowingly allowed herself to follow or avoid them. She trusted her instincts. Trusted herself. Without really knowing it, Gabrielle had become part of her family.
Gabrielle seemed to feel her gaze. The human looked up and grinned before biting into the piece of meat she held. She made a sound of pleasure and smiled again. The fire seemed to dance in her eyes. It gave more light to her smile and set a glow upon her cheeks in a way that made Xena breathe a little quicker. She smiled back at the human and Gabrielle continued poking the fire.
Xena closed her eyes.
Her lips still tingled from Gabrielle's mouth. What was it she had called it? A kiss? The concept felt foreign to Xena, but surprisingly, it didn't feel wrong. Not only was she surprised by Gabrielle's move, but her own body's reaction to it. Her stomach had tightened, her face had flushed with heat and every part of her screamed out for more. It was like adrenaline.
Before Xena leapt from a tree, she didn't know for sure whether or not she was going to make it. She didn't always know if she was going to be able to grab onto another branch or a waiting vine. Every jump was blind faith and it gave her such a rush that she became almost addicted to it. Gabrielle's kiss felt the same.
When Gabrielle kissed her she was blind. She couldn't see what the other human was doing, what she was going to do next or how, but she had faith in her. She trusted Gabrielle to know what she was doing and the end result was a powerful rush that left her feeling as though she was swinging from the highest tree in the forest.
Xena sensed that she was smiling but she couldn't help it, nor did she care. The thought of Gabrielle's mouth left her feeling so giddy. She had thought about the kiss a lot since it happened and at night, reflected on her time with the pack. The closest thing she could think of in comparison to identify it were the acts of affection she had seen Akan and Kaia express to each other. Their little bites, nips and licks from their mouths conveyed their love for each other and always left them smiling, even if ever so slightly at each other. She wondered if that was what Gabrielle was doing. Showing her care and affection for Xena with her version of a wolfish kiss?
Her eyes opened and immediately went to Gabrielle.
The human sat back and rested her elbows against the rocky floor. She patted her belly and sighed in satisfaction. "Well, it may not have been much, but I really enjoyed it, Xena. I think your cooking skills are improving."
Xena grinned and shuffled around the fire until she was next to the human. "Still can't cook."
Gabrielle nudged her shoulder with her own and smiled. "It's okay, you'll learn. It all comes with practice. I mean, I don't know how to swing that staff," she said, gesturing to it with a nod of her head. "But I guess I will improve over time. I have to. I don't know how long I'm going to be here for…" she trailed off quietly.
A solemn air seemed to fall over the conversation and they fell into silence. Neither one of them had mentioned Gabrielle leaving. Gabrielle had been too distracted with healing and gaining the confidence to walk outside again, and Xena had been too preoccupied with the pack, hiding Gabrielle and the accidental murder of one of her own. The thought of Gabrielle leaving felt strange to them both. Without realizing it, both of them thought of the other and what they would lose if Gabrielle was to leave. The thought left an empty feeling neither of them could understand.
Thinking about leaving left Gabrielle wondering how things would be on the outside of the forest. Would people believe her story? Would she make it far without the food, clothing and travel she'd had on her way here. Would she even want to leave? The more she thought about it, the more it grew to become a ridiculous idea. Here, with Xena, she was at home.
"I wonder what Lila is doing," Gabrielle admitted suddenly.
She hated what Lila had done to her but some part of her yearned for her family, the lost part of her sister that loved her before it was overtaken by a lust for vengeance and hatred. Though the thought of seeing her ever again frightened her, she wanted to see her. The conflicting emotions left her head feeling dizzy and confused.
"Do you think she went back to normal?" she asked Xena.
Gabrielle glanced up at her and saw the woman watching her carefully.
"Lila?" Xena said. "Sis…ter? Like Joxer my brother?"
Gabrielle smiled softly at Xena's continuing ability to string words and sentences together with her inner thoughts. "Yeah. My sister."
Xena moved a little closer until their bare arms brushed. "Lila is bad. Sister hurt you." She frowned and lifted her hand, snaking it under the Gabrielle's shirt where it covered her healed scar. She pulled back the material and gently moved her fingertip over it. "She hurt you. I didn't catch you in time."
Gabrielle could hardly breathe. Xena's hand felt so hot on her skin, or maybe that was her. She felt every single touch felt sensitive but burned like fire in her belly. She watched the worry rising in Xena's face when she reheard her last words.
"Xena, it's okay, I got better. You helped me. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't…um, I wouldn't be here." Gabrielle hated to say it out loud but it was true. Without Xena…she would be dead. Lila would have killed her and left her body to rot somewhere in the middle of the forest. Her life would be over.
"Couldn't let you die." Xena slid her hand out from beneath Gabrielle's shirt and grabbed her hand instead, tracing patterns in the palm. She followed the lines, causing Gabrielle's hand to twitch from the sensitive strokes.
Xena looked up and saw Gabrielle staring at her, her eyes hooded with something Xena was quickly learning to be longing. She recognized it in the not so subtle way she caught the human looking at her. It was the same look Joxer would get in his eyes whenever he had to wait for his dinner after the rest of the pack had picked at a kill. The look in Gabrielle's eyes spoke of silent yearning and inside, though she didn't fully understand it, Xena felt a similar pull to Gabrielle, too.
Fixing her eyes with Gabrielle's, Xena made sure the human watched her as she lifted her hand slowly to her mouth. She noticed the reaction she caused and hid her smirk. Gabrielle's chest rose and fell quicker, her breath hitting the air louder when Xena gently brushed her lips against her hand. Making sure Gabrielle was still watching, she turned over her hand so it was palm up and inhaled the scent of it.
When the tip of Xena's nose grazed her wrist, she thought she was going to melt into a puddle right there. She didn't know what the woman was doing, but with the way she was making her feel, Gabrielle wasn't about to complain, especially when she felt Xena stroke her hand with her fingertips, coaxing her hand open wider. Then, when she was losing herself to the heat that threatened to take her over, Xena gently nipped the sensitive fleshy part of her hand just below her thumb, with her teeth.
It wasn't a complete bite but the action still took Gabrielle by surprise and sent a shock of heat toward her core. She opened her eyes in time to see Xena flick her tongue across the flesh she bit before lifting her eyes to meet Gabrielle's.
"Mine…"