Chapter 34 BF
"Elizabeth, listen to me. Listen to me love." Klaus cooed at her and she winced and squeezed his hand. "You need to feed. It'll make the pain lessen."
"I can't!" She cried and he climbed onto the bed with her.
"You're weaker. If you're going to go through with this you have to stay as strong as possible." He reasoned and she sobbed. "Let me help you."
She looked up at his face, torn. What she wanted was her mate, alive and with her right now. Holding her and feeding her and helping her get through this. Klaus knew it too, but Jack was gone and his love for her was all he had left to offer. Klaus stroked the sweat from her forehead and swallowed in concern.
"Your body isn't made for this." He whispered.
"Why would the spell allow me to have this and take it from me at the same time?" She sobbed and he shook his head slowly.
"You were never meant to have this love. They were always supposed to be temporary. The impossible children."
"I can't let it die. Promise me you'll save it Nick." She begged and he sighed. "If you love me, you'll save it."
"Then feed." He encouraged and opened a blood bag for her.
He was unsure as to why she was refusing to feed. It would help her, help the life struggling to grow inside of her, so why was she so reluctant?
"If I drink that, then he's really gone." She answered his thoughts and he bristled, still trying to get used to the thought sharing.
It was disconcerting, especially to someone like him who always had to be in control, who liked to know more than others. He blinked at her and looked to the bag in his hands. She had fed from her mate for the last few hundred years. Drinking human blood now, would seal the fact that she'd never feed from Jack again. From what Klaus understood, the mated blood tasted very different. He sighed and stroked her cheek in sympathy.
"I know love, but if you don't, your child will die."
She closed her eyes and sobbed again. She knew it was true. The child growing inside needed to feed too. She could feel its blood lust in her. Klaus opened the bag and the scent drifted to her nose, making her stomach flip as the baby moved in hunger. That movement was all she needed to encourage her to feed now. The baby wanted it. She took it from him and began to drink hungrily, gulping it down and trying not to think about how different the taste was from her mated elixir. She'd never taste it again. She let tears slide down her cheeks as she tried not to sob amidst the feeding.
Klaus cooed at her and wiped her tears, pulling blankets over her body and rubbing her stomach as she finished the bag. Having Klaus here was a comfort. One she should be thankful for, especially since she'd broken his heart.
She hadn't known how to feel when she'd discovered that Jack had been able to keep things from her. Klaus had delighted in telling her, while in a rage at her refusal to eat, that Jack had been a traitor. That not only had Jack served all of the mates up for the coven, but her too. She hadn't believed him at first. Then she'd began to replay her memories of the last year. Jack had seemed a little more tense and he hadn't wanted to come to Mystic Falls on what she had thought was her road trip down memory lane. Had he thought that he could avoid them becoming embroiled in the spell? Had he thought he'd made some deal to save them for the fate of the others? She'd never know now.
Klaus had kept Jack's body in the cellar with Ashleigh and Rob. Waiting for everyone to decide how best to send them off. No one had made any decisions about what they were all going to do next, not with Elizabeth's news now. She'd wanted them to know about her baby. She'd thought it would give them some comfort after the trauma that one had survived from the number they had lost. A baby was hope. So she had thought anyway, until she had seen Monique's reaction. She'd been so bitter and resentful. Anne had taken her to a motel for a few days to counsel her.
Elizabeth had felt so terrible about her pain. Perhaps she was naïve to think that her baby could possibly mend the broken fences around here. Everyone had such history and pain.
Klaus took the empty blood bag from her and kissed her forehead.
"Stay with me." She asked and he swallowed but nodded.
He settled beside her and she leaned her head on his chest. He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.
"I've wanted things to be right between us for so long." She said and he exhaled.
He didn't reply, merely looking up at the ceiling.
"What's going to happen to me?" She whispered and clutched at his chest.
"I'll look after you." He said.
"If the baby dies, I want you to do what I asked before." She said and he grunted annoyed.
"It will live. I swear to you."
"How? Stefan and Damon were right. How can I do this?" She began to sob again. "It's growing so fast Nick. It hurts all the time now."
"We'll find a way." He cooed. "We'll find a way."
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Stefan searched the house for Nathan but came up empty. He was frustrated. He was tired of all of the coming and goings. Of worrying for his poor mate lying ill and not being able to help him. He found himself in the cellar, collecting some bottles to drink when he found the bodies. He'd wrecked the cellar in a rage of grief fuelled emotion and collapsed against the wall as he tried to breathe. Klaus must have heard the noise but he didn't venture away from Elizabeth. Damon was right about them.
Stefan sat dejected and heartbroken, drinking from his bottles as his stomach churned uncomfortably. He groaned and wiped tears from his face. Damon hadn't channelled, hadn't sensed his meltdown. He must be in deep sleep again. Stefan lay his head back against the wall and sighed.
Damon on top of him, biting and clawing…
He blinked at the threads of a memory.
Fighting fiercely, tearing at each other over the blood store. Damon breaking his neck, right here on the stairs.
Stefan inhaled in surprise and looked at the stairs. It was a memory. They'd fought over the blood. Neither of them understanding that the blood was coming from each other. He exhaled and shook his head. They'd been so lost, so blind to what they were, what they needed, who they were supposed to be with. If he could continue to urge the memories, they would give him the answers he needed.
He stood up, willing his brain to continue as he tried to trace what happened next. He walked up the stairs and stopped. Damon had broken his neck. What would he have done then? Why hadn't he just killed him? Had he sensed that Stefan was important somehow? Hope blossomed in his chest. If only he could believe that even as an animal Damon had loved him, or at least wanted him. Then again, Damon had said that he and Nathan had fought over him. Had that been because Damon had known him somehow? Sensed that they should be together or had it just been instinct?
He sighed and closed his eyes trying to focus. Perhaps during the scuffle Damon had realised that his blood tasted like the stuff from the bottles. They'd definitely bled during their fight. It would have been hard for Damon not to notice the smell. What would an animal do next?
If Mike was Damon's mate at this point, Damon would want to provide for him. Stefan tightened his hands into fists at the thought and swallowed hard. In the animal word the males generally hunted to provide during mating and the females prepared the nest and gave birth. If Mike had been pregnant or Damon had been trying to feed him, he might have taken the food source back to the nest. He nodded and looked around.
Where would the nest have been? Everything had been cleaned so he couldn't even smell the others anymore. There was no trail to follow. He sighed frustrated. Damon may have been feeling like an animal but he was still Damon deep down. He would have found somewhere safe and concealed. A room? Yes, it would be a room and knowing Damon, he would have gone somewhere familiar. Their room maybe?
His stomach clenched at the thought that Damon may have turned their room into a nest for his other mate and fuck buddy and held him there as a meal only. He shook his head, gritting his teeth and exhaled, fighting tears. This was harder than he thought, the not knowing but suspecting.
He urged himself back to their room and willed himself not to look over at Damon's sleeping form when he got there. He felt angry, violated and betrayed right now with all of his questions and assumptions. He walked along the hallway and paused, something on the wallpaper attracting his attention. He hadn't noticed it before. There was a pattern on the wall paper that looked slightly darker than the rest. He ran his fingertips over it and felt dampness. He frowned and sniffed it. There was a faint smell of blood.
He stepped back, to lean against the opposite wall so he could get a better view of what the pattern was and then he was hit by another memory.
Screaming, Damon screaming! His blood scattered across the wall as his stomach was ripped open.
Stefan gasped and held his chest in fear, his heart speeding up.
Damon standing in the way, blocking him and Mike from a predator. Blurred movement and screaming. It was Jack! Jack was trying to tear Damon apart…Jack wanted Stefan and Mike. Jack's eyes looked over at them hungrily as he bit into Damon's stomach and tore. Damon was screaming so much…
Stefan closed his eyes and began to sob. Horrible, it was so horrible. He felt like he wanted to vomit.
Another loud scream, one of the last Damon might utter unless they did something, when there was another predator, ripping at Jack, pulling him back from Damon. Gold eyes and blonde hair…It was Klaus!
Stefan opened his eyes again and looked at the damp shape of blood spatter on the wall across from him. He breathed in small harsh pants as he tried to calm down. Damon had sensed Jack wanted to claim he and Mike and he'd tried to protect them. Stefan must have been conscious at this point. Jack had almost killed him right here in the hall but Klaus had rescued him for some reason and dragged Jack away. Why? Why had Klaus saved him?
Stefan shook his head and rubbed sweat from his forehead. Perhaps he should stop trying to remember. It was making everything more confusing. His bitterness towards Damon was coming and going all the time. Now he could remember being with Mike too. Damon had them both here at the nest. Had Damon had sex with them both? Was that what Nathan had meant? He opened the door to their bedroom and walked inside, failing to contain his emotion utterly as he looked over to Damon. He'd promised himself he wouldn't but he couldn't not. His heart throbbed. Even as an animal Damon had protected him.
Somewhere amongst his clothes dumped in the room, his cell wrang and he rushed over to it and answered.
"Hey Stefan." Nathan's voice.
"Hey. Where are you?"
"I thought it'd be best if I headed home."
"What?" Stefan said shocked.
"I don't want to be in the middle of you two. You need to heal. I gotta look after myself now."
"But I need you here!" Stefan said and Nathan paused. "I'm starting to remember and I need you."
"It'll come back to you. You never needed me."
"No, wait." Stefan exhaled. "Nathan I'm sorry. This happened to you too. You belong here right now."
"I can't. It's too hard. Too much happened that I don't know how to deal with."
"Please. You said you wanted a family. Well you have one here and it needs you. I need you."
Nathan sighed on the other end, feeling torn.
"I know how you feel about me. I'm sorry this is so hard, but I don't know how we can get through this unless I know more." Stefan confessed and looked at Damon. "And I don't know what will happen to us, if we can't get past this."
Nathan sighed again.
"I could really use a friend." Stefan added.
"Ok." Nathan gave in. "I'll tell you everything I know, but Stefan, it isn't pretty."
"I know." Stefan acknowledged and Nathan hung up.
Stefan sat down and waited. It didn't take long for Nathan to arrive back at the Boarding House. He came into the lounge and looked around, surprised Stefan was waiting here. Then he realised where he would be. The instincts to protect Damon and keep their nest were still running strong. He ascended the stairs and knocked on the door. Stefan let him in smiling awkwardly in thanks. He returned the smile awkwardly and sat down, looking over at Damon.
"He looks beat still."
"Yeah. He saw Klaus and flipped."
"Shit." Nathan said.
"I've started to remember." Stefan got straight to the point and Nathan nodded. "There's something I want to try. It's normally something just Damon and I share but he and Klaus managed it earlier."
"What?" Nathan looked at him in trepidation.
"Damon and I can share memories." Stefan said and knelt before him, taking his hands.
Nathan swallowed nervously and licked his lips, unsure.
"I'll live your memories as you saw and felt them." Stefan said and Nathan tensed further.
"Stefan, I don' t think you want that."
"I've already seen some horrendous things today. I can take it."
"But, I love you Stefan." Nathan frowned and Stefan blushed and nodded.
"I know."
"I don't know that I want you inside my head like that."
"I know. I'm so sorry. It's the only way I can figure more out." Stefan pleaded and Nathan closed his eyes and swallowed again.
"Ok." He agreed and looked at Stefan sadly, as though after this, Stefan would never want to talk to him again.
Stefan nodded and gave a tight smile as he closed his eyes and concentrated.
"Think back to the beginning. Run it all through your mind. Just focus and I will do the rest." Stefan said and he nodded.
They sat for a few minutes, Stefan tightening and loosening his hold on Nathan's hands as he received the memories like a movie in his head. He felt Nathan's lust and affection for him. His appreciation for his body. The taste of his own body fluid as Nathan had pleasured him. He felt his body respond to the sexual scenes and exhaled. Nathan had wanted him so badly, had wanted cubs with him more than anything. It made him feel cherished and warm. Then there was pain and bleeding and Stefan watched himself trying to feed from him, confused. Confusion and fear and pain, then Caroline and Tyler.
He breathed in relief that his friends had been there, trying to help without interfering. Part of him wished they had tried to separate them into their proper couples but he could see how fiercely instinct was present in them, just how completely focussed they were on mating. They'd have lashed out and killed anyone who tried to come in between them.
Nathan's pain as Stefan left him, burned him and he struggled to watch anymore. The pain was suffocating. Being dumped because you weren't strong enough, not suitable, was the worst pain he'd ever felt and he squeezed Nathan's hands. There was some time, hunting animals on their land and searching for another mate but it was fruitless. Then an attack from nowhere and screaming, blood and unbearable pain.
Stefan released his hands and sat back, almost winded. Jack again. Jack had attacked Nathan and torn him apart too. He panted and put his face in his hands and Nathan exhaled too.
"I'm ok Stefan." Nathan cooed to remind him and Stefan looked at him in disbelief.
How had he survived that attack?
"You and Damon found me. Damon saved me with his blood." Nathan said and Stefan sighed in relief.
"He saved you, even though you were competition?"
Nathan nodded.
"What was I to him then?" Stefan croaked, afraid to ask. "Was I his food?"
"What? No." Nathan frowned and squeezed his shoulder. "You…he…Mike was with him then and they were…you know. You were in heat but wouldn't let him mount you, so he was just allowing you to share the nest for your protection. I reckon you found me when you were searching for somewhere else to be."
"I refused him?"
"Yeah, a few times. He wanted you Stefan. Same as I did. You wouldn't allow it, so he mated with Mike instead. Mike was so vulnerable and he wanted Damon so badly." Nathan shook his head. "I could see that Mike was no equal for him but he didn't want Mike to suffer and he was so ripe. He got pregnant really quickly."
"And what happened after we found you?" Stefan sucked up his knowledge like a sponge.
"I wanted to mate with you again, but you'd already made up your mind to suffer your heat alone. With so many predators around we decided to stay together and be a pack. When we realised Mike was pregnant we were all so happy." He gave a small smile. "Damon was so…" He stopped when he saw Stefan's face drop in sadness.
"Hey." He squeezed his shoulder again. "Your cubs would have been amazing Stefan."
"What?" Stefan looked at him wide eyed.
"Once the spell took Mike, I took him out of the nest to let Damon grieve. He was our alpha and he had to be strong. When I came back you two were mating."
"We were?" Stefan smiled and Nathan nodded.
"I guess you must have realised that Damon was mating material after all." He smirked. "I knew you were approaching the peak of heat, so you'd get pregnant really quickly and I wasn't about to let anything happen to your cubs. I stayed to protect my pack and you two…you, you just fit together."
"Please show me." Stefan reached for his hands again and Nathan exhaled deeply and focussed his mind.
Nathan squeezed his hands and gasped as he watched, feeling now, no pain from Nathan but pride and love as he watched himself and Damon mating. The sex seemed less animalistic. Damon was being gentle, licking his entrance to pleasure him before entering. Watching made his heart throb. It was more like making love. Was it because they'd realised they were meant to be together? He watched as Nathan began to have energy pulled from his body and he cringed in pain. The version of he and Damon mating seemed unhurt but gave the energy out too. Nathan had stayed, knowing that his lack of sex was causing him pain but not wanting to leave them unprotected. They were wrapped up in each other solely until Damon became excited and playful, nipping at his body and rubbing against him, scenting his stomach.
"There. Your cubs." Nathan whispered and Stefan watched.
Stefan was pregnant and Damon was delighted and happy. He smiled as he watched their love making grow even more tender. Then the energy pull from Nathan's body grew more painful and he and Damon had pulled him to them, unable to stop joining but trying to scent him through his pain. They had become a family unit, even despite the desperate need to mate.
"You want the end?" Nathan whispered and Stefan nodded, squeezing his hands as he was gripped by the intensity of what followed.
Nathan was joining with a human but he never seemed to take his eyes from he and Damon who were venting energy from their mouths at speed. Damon began to cry out and the glowing red veins crawled up his body, up all of the bodies around Nathan including himself. Stefan gasped and felt life begin to drain from Nathan's body. He snatched his hands back and blurred to the toilet, vomiting the bottled blood up. Nathan walked over to him and rubbed his back.
"You ok?"
"God." He fretted. "It was horrible."
"I know, but we got through it. We're alive." Nathan consoled.
"No wonder he's ill." Stefan wiped his mouth. "He was almost gone."
"We all were. It was Bonnie's quick thinking and Klaus's help that saved us."
Stefan nodded.
"So now you know, my side of it anyway."
Stefan stood back up and nodded, looking towards Damon when his stomach clenched again. He held it, rubbing it and wincing. Nathan looked at him sadly.
"I'm sorry about your cubs." Nathan said and Stefan felt dizzy as he realised.
He had been pregnant too. They had been Damon's cubs and the spell had taken them, like it had taken them all, all except for one of Elizabeth's. He frowned and looked to his stomach.
"They were real." He said and Nathan nodded. "They were inside me."
"They couldn't have ever been though Stefan. You know that."
"Elizabeth still has one alive."
"It'll never live. Everyone knows that. It's just making it harder for her to let go."
"I was pregnant." Stefan said numb.
"With your brother's children though." Nathan said a little tight and Stefan frowned at him. "They wouldn't have been normal."
Stefan knew he was talking sense but he couldn't help but feel offended. He gave a small growl at the back of his throat.
"You never wanted any of this remember? You wanted it to stop." Nathan reminded and Stefan blinked and remembered how much he had panicked that his body had been mutated.
He didn't want some parasite growing inside of him. He was a man. A man!
"Yeah." He agreed. "Thank god they're gone." Nathan squeezed his shoulder.
"Maybe Bonnie can change you back inside."
"Yeah." He nodded numbly. "I want my own body back."
Nathan's cell wrang and he pulled it out.
"Speak of the devil." He said and smiled.