First Watch

I stared out into the woods, hugging my knees, sitting against a crumbling part of the wall. I had given up pacing around a while ago. It was pitch black out. My eyes were about used to the darkness by now, but it was hard to see anything. The trees all looked like lurkers. I just kept telling myself I'd hear them if there really was anything moving around the camp, but I wasn't quite sure of it, I was so tired.

Clem, Nick, Kenny, Sarah, Rebecca, Jane and Luke were sleeping inside the tent, and I was on watch with Mike and Bonnie. Nick had poked me awake about half an hour ago and had volunteered to stay awake with me, but I knew he needed his sleep, maybe even more than I did. So I declined his offer. I didn't feel like talking to the others much though, so I had picked a spot between the walls where I wasn't too visible, and kept my eye on the premises.

Kenny wouldn't settle for less than three people on watch at a time. I personally thought it was a bit much, but he was right about the fact we were completely out in the open, anyone, or anything could approach us from essentially any direction.

My stomach grumbled. Mike and Bonnie hadn't found any food back at the museum, but they had brought two big tanks of water. Bonnie still had some food supplies from the Hardware complex, but we were with quite some people, so it hadn't exactly been satisfying.

I played with my dagger, absentmindedly balancing it on the tip of my finger. Being on watch like this, it reminded me a lot of what it had been like in my old group. Though, the watches weren't half as long because of the insane amount of people we'd had in our group. How long ago had that been? It felt like years, though it couldn't be more than a couple of months. It also felt like I'd known Nick for months now, but if I did some math, we'd met only about three weeks ago or something.

In the distance I could hear Mike say something to Bonnie. They were on the other side of our little camp circle. I could be sitting with them, talking to them, being at least somewhat social. I thought back at what had happened earlier, my argument with Luke.

It happened right after Jane gave me her 'advice'. I didn't exactly know why, but hearing her say the cold heart truth just frustrated me so badly I felt like punching someone in the face.

My hand grabbed hold of my dagger when I bumped into someone as soon as I'd gotten down the stairs.

'Woah easy!' Luke exclaimed, as I pulled my dagger at him. He placed a hand on his side and rubbed it slightly. Jane had been right; he didn't look good. Had letting the guy take off with the medicine really been the right thing to do?

Right behind him stood Nick, who's face lit up as soon as he saw me.

'Shouldn't you be watching tree lines?' I asked, I refusing to look at either one of them.

'I was going to check up on what Jane was doing...' Luke let his voice trail off when Nick approached me and stood next to me in such way his shoulder was pressed against mine. It felt nice being a little closer to him. Warm.

Luke had a weird look in his eyes. As soon as I focused on him and tried to determine what it was, he brushed it off.

'Well, she just almost killed a guy.' I said, and Nick's eyes widened slightly.

'That's not what Clem told us.' Luke mumbled.

'She threatened him, and almost shot his brains out, I wonder what Clem made of it.'

Luke ignored that. 'You two should head back to camp, I'll go check on Jane.' He looked from my face to Nick's and his expression saddened.

'Good luck with that.' I mumbled darkly, thinking about how Jane's complete attitude changed depending on the situation. Luke had picked up on my sarcasm.

'Ya know, there's no need to be so…' he frowned while he was searching for the right word. 'hostile.' he ended his sentence in a slightly agitated voice.

It surprised me, and I snorted. It made Luke glare.

'Says who?' I asked, and I finally looked him right in the eye, standing up straighter. He was still taller than me though. I could feel Nick tense up next to me. I wasn't letting it go this time though. Who did he think he was, correcting me on being "hostile"? I could feel my cheeks redden.

'You're clearly not used people huh?' Luke asked, and he managed to sound condescending and mean at the same time. He looked down on me, he was taller, but strangely he didn't make me feel intimidated. 'You should learn to trust us.'

'Well, maybe I don't want to!' I said as I looked away. 'I didn't ask for any of this!' I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Oh no, I wasn't going to cry in front of this asshole.

'Then go!' Luke said in a voice so loud he was almost screaming. My head shot up and I looked him straight in the eyes, staring him down just as angrily as he did.

'Guy's c'mon!' Nick interfered. 'Luke, don't be like this man.'

'Wha- me?!' Luke let go of the rifle that was hanging around his neck, and his angry eyes pierced through mine, a fire burning in them. 'Go ahead and leave, do us all a huge fuckin' favor.'

He turned around and started climbing the stairs.

Perhaps Luke was right, I really wasn't used to people. They all had their own problems and emotions radiating off them, and it confused and annoyed me. I had enough problems of my own.

How was I going to face him again after that? I'd made it pretty clear to the both of them I didn't like this group. Nick knew already I wasn't exactly a social person, but I couldn't ask him to leave all of his friends for me, that was just shallow. I'd have to start behaving more like Bonnie or something. She seemed to get along all right with everyone. Maybe this didn't have to be that bad. There was also Jane. She'd said we were alike. She could relate to my fear of groups, perhaps she'd had bad experiences herself. Well, of course she had. This was the apocalypse. Just about every minute was a bad experience.

Yet… when Nick looked at me like that, I could almost forget, even if it was just a second, it was addicting.

I barely heard the footsteps behind me, and when Mike spoke, it startled me so bad, I dropped my dagger.

'Wake up.' He remarked dryly.

'I am awake…' I mumbled as I rose to my feet and rubbed some dried grass from my jeans.

'I'm gonna turn in, you should too if you think you can't take it anymore.'

I shrugged. 'I'm fine, I just wasn't expecting anything from that direction, 'cause it's your side.'

I caught a hint of a smile despite the darkness. 'See you tomorrow.' He mumbled, as he made his way to the tent.

I sighed and turned around. Bonnie's flame red hair was clearly visible on the other side of the camp. She was looking in my direction as well. I gave her thumbs up to indicate all was clear on this side. I couldn't quite tell, but I thought she'd nodded in acknowledgement. She turned around, and began walking around a bit.

I slid down the wall again and picked up my dagger. From behind me I could hear the tent opening: Mike's replacement.

I squeezed my eyes at the trees, because for a second it seemed like I saw some movement in there. It was probably Wolfy or something, he was around here somewhere, and it couldn't be a lurker, they were way noisier.

'How you holdin' up?'

Shit. Luke was standing right behind me. Him, of all people… great.

I shivered. 'I'm fine.'

'You don't look fine.' He mumbled softly. As a peace offer, he draped a warm blanket around my shoulders.

'Thanks…' I mumbled, and I managed to look up at him and smile slightly, though I turned my head back at the woods almost immediately.

He slid down against the wall next to me, and when his knee touched mine, I shoved away from him hesitantly. I didn't like having him so close.

Luke sighed, and for a while we said nothing. I felt like pointing out it would be more efficient if he took another side of the camp, but truth be told, I didn't really mind the company of another living being, even if it was him. I was going to need to get used to him, and an extra pair of eyes couldn't hurt, Bonnie had the other side anyway, and she seemed more alert than me.

Luke cupped his hands and brought them to his mouth. When he blew on them, I could see his breath in puffy clouds whirling around. I shoved back against him, and pulled the blanket over our knees. Suddenly it didn't feel all that weird anymore, sharing warmth felt like a natural thing to do.

'Listen, I think you and I…' he began, but he stopped talking and scratched the back of his head.

'Nick means a lot to me.' He suddenly said after another couple of minutes of quiet. 'Heck, he's my best… no, last friend from before all this shit. I've known him for goddamn ten years now!'

I sat in silence and let him talk.

'So, when I thought you… I wasn't sure if I should trust you or not. I still don't know why you lied to me.'

For a second, I wasn't sure what he meant. But then I realized he was referring to that night we ran into each other in the woods, and I had lied about not seeing Nick.

'But that's in the past now, and we should learn how to trust each other.'

I looked at him for the first time, and saw him staring back at me. His wavy brown hair danced in a breeze I couldn't feel.

'Nick cares about you a lot.' He said, and I couldn't look away. 'I haven't seen him look at anyone like that, not since his mother died.'

I gulped, and nodded.

'So, I guess what I'm tryin'a say is… I know I was an asshole, and I'm not gonna pretend you made it hard for me to be one. But at least we have one thing in common. Let's try make this work, we could really use your help.'

Before I got a chance to say anything back, we both jumped up at a loud scream coming from the woods. I could hear my heart racing in my chest. Luke stood slightly in front of me, he picked up the rifle he had placed next to him on the ground where we'd sat and pointed it at the tree line while he tried to make out what was beyond the darkness.

'What do we do?' I whispered. Luke pressed his finger to his lips.

Mike stormed out of the tent. He apparently hadn't fallen asleep yet. Kenny followed right after him, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, or… eye. Within a second he was alert though, and we all watched the trees, waiting for another sound.

'What the fuck is going on?' Kenny asked, he had a loud voice, but he managed to keep it down just enough for me not to shoosh him automatically.

'Should we wake up the rest?' I asked, as I rubbed my arm insecurely.

'It should be fine, it was probably nothing'.' Luke said, but he didn't remove his gaze from the trees. We lived in a world where a heart wrenching scream coming from the woods in the dead of the night was 'nothing'… why didn't' that even surprise me?

Suddenly, something came stumbling out. It was Wolfy, followed by a corpse that had one leg, so it crawled over the ground.

'The fuck is that thing?' Kenny said, and he pointed his gun at Wolfy.

'No, don't!' I said, but I didn't dare reach out to knock the gun out of his hand. 'It's a dog. You can't just shoot him! Let me take care of this.'

'Cammie, no!' Luke said in a hushed voice as I walked away from the group.

Mike was right behind me, and while it annoyed me, it was nice to have someone support me at the same time. I was feeling a lot of contradictive things in this group.

The lurker was already on the ground, so it didn't take much effort to crouch down and stab it, until it stopped moving.
Wolfy backed away scared, keeping his eyes on Mike, but when he saw me, he stopped growling.

'Well, that was that.' I said as I got back up from the crouched position and rubbed some dust from my jeans.

It startled me when I turned around and Kenny was right in my face. That bastard sure was quiet when he moved. And fast…
'Don't move.' He whispered. He held his gaze fixed on the tree line behind me. I gulped.

Ignoring his order, I slowly turned around.

At first, I couldn't see anything, but then I realized both Kenny and Wolfy were staring in the same direction. Wolfy had his tail between his eyes.

A dark figure stood there, behind a tree.