Disclaimer: Hart Hanson owns it all.
November 28, 1991.
Things had been incredibly tense between Booth and Temperance ever since she had informed him of her pregnancy. Even though they had left the lake that day with their hands entwined, the solidarity between them had diminished by the time they'd arrived back at the house. The awkwardness back between them, things seemed even worse than before: Temperance wasn't the only one doing the avoiding this time.
Things had gotten so bad between them – stammering whenever they saw one another, making hurried excuses to leave the room whenever the other entered, Temperance getting picked up and sent home by a newly-licensed Amy – that Jared had given Booth a strange look and asked, "Did she dump you or what?"
Their unspoken agreement to avoid one another until Temperance had reached a decision and they were able to speak once more about the next step they should take came to halt almost a week after: it was Thanksgiving and Pops was adamant on having a family dinner.
He was already upset enough that neither Lydia nor Debbie were going to be able to make it for the holiday. Although they both had days off for Thanksgiving weekend, Lydia had a big case on Monday and she would be spending most of the long weekend preparing for it. Debbie would've flown in by herself but she didn't want to leave Lydia alone for the long weekend. Debbie had called several times to inform Pops how sorry they were and how just so very distracted Lydia was, even at home.
Temperance and Booth were both employed to help Pops out in the kitchen. Jared was supposed to do the same but every time Pops' back was turned, he'd slack off and ended up getting in the way. Finally, having enough, Pops told him to go into the living room and watch some TV.
Booth did some good-natured grumbling about not being able to watch TV like his little brother but he didn't want to let Temperance and Pops do all the hard work. Pops' back was killing him these days and it wasn't fair to Temperance if she had to do most of the work.
Unfortunately for Booth, his desire to be the good guy meant that he and Temperance kept brushing past each other every few minutes. Shy half-smiles would grace their lips as their eyes met briefly, and awkwardness was dominant as they squeezed past one another in the cramped kitchen.
Booth had done a lot of thinking since he'd found out about the baby, sleepless nights becoming a regular thing.
He knew Temperance was terrified of the disastrous outcomes the pregnancy could bring.
She was worried about disappointing Pops, she was scared about what would happen with social services, she was downright frightened about being a good mom if she and Booth decided to keep the baby after all, and she was terrified that not only would she be a terrible mother but the difficulties of being parents so young in life would tear the two of them apart and ruin their relationship.
He couldn't lie and say that he wasn't worrying himself with the same things, but despite every bad thing he could think of, he couldn't help but dream of every good thing that could happen.
He couldn't help but think of the baby they'd have in just a few months – a little girl he could give his heart to or a little boy he'd be a better father to than his own had been to him. Whenever he did manage to catch some shut-eye, his dreams had been plagued with visions of a little girl with bright blue eyes giving him a tiny crooked smile and a little boy with his big brown eyes begging to be taken to the park to learn how to play some football.
Booth was unable to imagine losing that dream.
He knew he was too young. Like he'd told Temperance, he didn't have a fairytale view on things. He wasn't living in denial, thinking everything would come easy and fall into their laps. He knew he'd have to get a job, maybe two. Who knew how much raising a child would cost?
He wasn't sure if he'd still be able to go to college – could he really balance a baby, making sure his relationship with Temperance didn't fall apart and the stress of a higher education learning? Besides, who knew if he would still be able to get scholarships if sponsors knew about his impending fatherhood?
Even so, he'd give it all up if he had to – college, basketball scholarships, anything he needed to just to be able to be as good a father as Pops had been to him.
He knew Temperance had a different plan in mind and while hers might seem like the most logical one, he'd already told her time and time again – life isn't always about what's logical and rational, especially not when it came to matters of the heart.
But he also knew that he wouldn't be able to force Temperance into doing anything. He couldn't force her out of terminating the pregnancy if that had been her decision. He still thanked God that she'd changed her mind about that. He couldn't force her not to if she decided she wanted to give the baby up for adoption, either. It was her body, her baby…
He wondered, if it came down to it, if he'd have rights of his own when his baby was born. It was part of him, too, right? If Temperance really wanted to give the baby up, but he wanted to keep it…He could keep the baby to himself, couldn't he? He could raise the baby on his own.
If that were to happen, though, he knew that his relationship with Temperance would be over. There was no way they could still be together if he remained the active father of their baby when she'd relinquished her rights as his or her mother. They'd planned on going to the same college, getting an apartment together the moment they could afford it and travel a little after college.
How were they supposed to do any of that when the baby she'd given up was right there in between them? How were they supposed to be a couple when she wanted nothing to do with the baby in his arms?
Booth swallowed a few times until the lump in his throat was barely there anymore. We'll cross that bridge if and when we have to, he thought decidedly. I'm not going to think about losing her right now. Right now, I have to put all my efforts into persuading her that keeping our baby is the right thing to do. I know it is.
If he could get her to just not be afraid enough to keep the baby, he knew he could make everything else work. He'd work his hardest to make sure it would all run as smoothly as possible. He could already see a few speed bumps in the road ahead but hopefully, with a little support from Pops (and maybe his Aunt Lydia if God was in a particularly giving mood), they could manage to avoid those speed bumps.
He was a traditional person by nature, however. He had been brought up that way. Coupled with his religion, his sense of morals, and what his Nana Marietta had told him before she'd died…Booth had a very firm idea on what his idea of the perfect solution was.
He also knew that Temperance wasn't going to think his idea was a good one. She'll be scared to do this, he thought to himself, certain that he knew the way his girlfriend's mind worked. But hopefully she'll see that together, we can handle everything. After all, Nan used to say that teamwork was one of the most important things in their marriage. It has to be an equal partnership.
With the turkey and the potatoes cooking in the oven, the pie from the diner already on the kitchen counter, and the table all set for their family Thanksgiving for four, Booth, Temperance and Pops went out into the living room.
Jared had turned the game on, four sets of eyes fixed on the screen even if only two were paying attention.
Booth sat, fidgeting, in between Pops and Temperance. She, of course, wasn't paying attention to the game at all. He wondered if she would even know what was happening if she was. Sneaking looks at her sideways, he saw that she sat ramrod straight, her hands clasped together on her knees, her eyes staring unseeingly in front of her. Pops didn't seem to notice, him and Jared a little too into the game.
The game wasn't as riveting to Booth as the years before. In fact, it barely held his attention, becoming dull background noise as he continued to sneak looks at Temperance, his thoughts running rampant in his mind.
Running his hand down his face and yanking his fingers through his hair a few times, Booth slid lower and lower down his spot on the couch until he was practically laying his torso down on his seat. He sat up after a few moments and the process repeated itself without him noticing it.
After the sixth time, Pops turned to his elder grandson. "Shrimp," he said gruffly. "I know we're all a little anxious…"
Booth almost jumped out of his skin, startled. "W-what?" he stammered, staring wide-eyed at Pops. He couldn't know, he thought in panic. How could he know? Oh, God…Did Temperance told him without me? Now what am I supposed to say to him?
"The game, son," Pops clarified, staring at Booth as though the boy had lost his mind.
Booth tried not to let his relief show so blatantly.
"It's a tough game, I know, but stop fidgeting would ya?" Pops grumbled. "I feel like we're back in '78 and four year old Seeley's getting restless in the waiting room while your mother popped Jared out."
Jared shot his grandfather a disgusted look. "Uh – gross, Pops," he scowled. "Don't you have a different analogy? One that didn't make me feel like I wanna throw up?"
"I do," he nodded seriously; the twinkle in his brown eyes was the only clue that he was messing with Jared and messing with him. "But what would the fun be in that?"
Jared rolled his eyes and turned back to the TV. I have such a weird family, he sighed to himself.
As though to prove his point, Booth jumped up from the couch, looking almost feral as he stood wild eyed, his chest heaving. "Uhm, Pops," Booth said, his eyes shooting towards Temperance every few seconds. She'd snapped back to reality at his sudden movement and was now gazing at him warily. "Could I…Could Temperance and I go out for a bit?"
Pops looked at him, brows furrowing. "Shrimp, dinner's in an hour and a half," he reminded Booth.
Booth nodded. "I know. And we won't be long," he hurried to assure his grandfather. "I just…I need to…I really…" Unable to find the right words, Booth blew out a breath of frustration, palming his face. Okay, that was a bad move, Mr. Impulsivity, he chided himself. Who knows if Bones even wants to go with me, the way we've been avoiding each other?
Temperance, biting down on her lower lip as hard as she could without drawing blood, gazed thoughtfully at Booth. Maybe he's ready to talk about the baby, Temperance thought, her hand subconsciously flitting to her tiny baby bump.
"What he means to say is…" Temperance jumped in for Booth, slowly standing up as well. Booth looked up, startled that she was saying anything at all. After all, she had been abnormally quiet around him for days. "We promise to be back in plenty of time for dinner."
Pops looked at Booth and Temperance calculatingly. She was looking at Pops, her eyes fixed so steadily on him that Pops had a strange feeling she was avoiding looking at Booth. Booth, on the other hand, was gazing at her, his eyes soft and filled with an emotion Pops couldn't name exactly.
Whatever it was they needed to do or talk about away from prying ears, he could sense that it was bigger than a teenage couple wanting some time alone together.
Sighing, he nodded. "An hour – tops," he warned them. "I don't want to have to wait for the two of you to start dinner, you hear?"
Both Booth and Temperance nodded their heads quickly before turning away to head for the foyer, calling out 'thanks' to Pops as they grabbed their coats and went out the door.
Car keys in hand, Booth led Temperance towards his Impala. His hand hovered over the small of her back for a few moments before his fingers rested on her clothed back. She jumped slightly, startled by his sudden touch.
Sharing an awkward smile, Booth opened the door to the passenger seat for her. For the first time he could remember, she didn't say a word about his alpha male tendencies.
The drive to the lake, just like the last time a week ago, was completely silent. Temperance's heart was beating a mile a minute, her stomach churning uncomfortably. She had done a lot of thinking, too.
She had considered what Booth had wanted her to – continuing with her pregnancy (which was something she had been heavily leaning towards even before they'd had their talk last week), giving birth to their child then taking him or her home to raise together as a couple.
She had no idea if that was something that either of them would be able to do, separately or together. Things would be incredibly difficult for them – her especially.
She had no idea how to be a mother to somebody. Truly, she worried that she would be so incapable of being a mother that she wouldn't know what to do if her child cried or needed a diaper change or when her child was no longer a baby and needed some comfort after a bad day…
These are all things that required someone who was good at feelings and emotions, and who wasn't afraid to show affection to another human being. These are all things that Booth would be good at.
What could she possibly give to her child?
The most that she could think of was a good education. Education was one of the most important things in life and she was smart enough to teach her child about sciences and math and all the histories of the world and the wonderful literature that had captivated audiences through time.
Of course, this train of thought made her worried that she might not be able to raise a child successfully and go through college at the same time, and she worried that because of her failed education, she might not be able to get a proper job to support her child.
"Bones," Booth's soft murmur startled her.
Looking around, she was surprised to find herself standing on the soft grass next to the lake. Had she really gotten out of the car and walked to the lake next to Booth in a total daze, unaware of her surroundings?
Shaking her head, Temperance blinked a few times as she turned her head in Booth's direction once more. "I'm sorry," she sighed. "I've just been thinking about a lot of things."
He nodded. "Me, too," he answered gravely.
His tone made her heart clench, terrified of what he was going to say.
He gazed at her stoically, his face devoid of any emotion. His eyes were full of them, but none that she could decipher on her own.
This just added to her fears – what if, in fifteen years, this was her child looking at her like that and she had absolutely no idea what he or she was feeling or what he or she wanted? That, surely, wouldn't be very motherly of her.
"Have you given any thought to what I asked you to consider?" he asked her quietly, almost dreading her answer.
She nodded, exhaling loudly, and went to sit on the edge of the short cliff once more. "Yes, I have," she answered as he took his place next to her. "I…I've been…" she took in a shaky breath. "I thought about what you said – about having the baby grow inside me and then having to give it up…Lately, I've been thinking about…Keeping the baby."
He stared at her, not daring to smile and hope. "Are you…" he stopped, wincing at the squeakiness of his voice. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Are you sure?"
She nodded certainly. Exhaling slowly, she smoothed her hands down her jeans. "You're right – it's not going to be easy at all, but I can't give this baby up," both her hands were on her stomach. He watched as a small smile begun to bloom on her lips. "I can't say I'm not terrified but…What we did had consequences and it would be immature of me to not take responsibility for it."
He could hear the determination in her eyes and see the set of her jaw. Mostly, he could see the softness in her eyes, and the little smile still curling on her lips as she looked down at her tummy. Sitting down with nothing obstructing his view, he could see the tiny bulge already forming on her stomach.
Exhaling in relief, he nodded his head. "Good," he murmured, silently thanking the big guy upstairs. "That's good, baby…I'm so glad."
Temperance bit her lip, looking away from him. The slightly distressed, uncomfortable look on her face made his stomach turn. "Bones…What is it?" he asked her quietly, reaching out to take her hand. "Are you worried about what's going to happen next? I'll be there when we tell Pops, and I've got some savings in the bank…We'll figure it out, baby, I promise."
She shook her head. "No…No, that's not it," she said softly. Bravely looking into his eyes, she gave him a strained smile. "Booth, a baby is a lot of responsibility."
He nodded his head slowly. "Yeah…I know that," he said.
"I don't think you've thought about everything a baby entails, Booth," she insisted. "Sure, you thought about how expensive it would be-"
"I have," he interrupted her. "I did. Like I said, I've got some money saved up."
"That's for your future, Booth," she argued.
He shook his head, "You and the baby are my future."
Temperance sighed. She had a feeling she wasn't going to break through to him from this angle alone. "What about all the commitments having a baby entails?" she questioned him. "It's a lifetime commitment, Booth. And all the sacrifices you're going to have to make?"
Shaking her head, she said in a low voice, "I'm not even sure I can go to college right now, Booth."
He could see the devastation in her eyes as she spoke. He knew college meant a great deal for her. She had worked so hard for it, had taken up so many extra classes to prepare herself for the subjects she'd be taking next year. He was pretty sure she'd started and completed her application to Northwestern already.
"Sure you can," he encouraged her half-heartedly. He wasn't sure how to lift her spirits up on something that he was unsure of in the first place.
She shook her head again. "No, I can't," she said with certainty. Reaching into the pocket of her dark red coat, she pulled out a piece of paper. It was wrinkled despite having been in use for only about a week – she had taken it out and read it one too many times since writing it. "I made these estimations…"
Booth's brows furrowed together as he took the paper from her. Opening up the folded piece of paper, he had to hide a wry grin when he read the first sentence, written in her neat handwriting and underlined a few times underneath.
The paper read:
Cost of pregnancy - insurance included:
Prenatal visits: 1 visit x 2 months + (1 visit x 2 weeks) x 5 months = 12 visits. 12 visits x $50 each visit = $ 600 in total
Maternity clothes: $100 x 6 months = $ 600
Labor and delivery: $ 5000
Total cost: $1100 + $600 + $5000 = $ 6700
"Why do you have to visit the doctor for twelve times?" Booth asked, frowning.
Temperance shrugged. "I don't know if I have to," she conceded. "But I did my research and the once a month visit seemed to suffice for the first few months of pregnancy….I've already missed two months by my calculations so by the fifth month of pregnancy, I'd probably have to go in twice a month…" she calculated.
Turning sheepish eyes and red cheeks to a partially amused, partially ill-looking Booth, she shrugged, "Besides…It's better to be safe than sorry. Even if I don't have to go in that many times, I'd like to save up six hundred bucks just the same so I'd have some spare cash in case something happens."
"Labor costs that much?" he almost squeaked out. "What the hell…?"
"I called and inquired myself," she assured him. "Apparently having a baby is expensive even before the baby comes."
He looked a little faint so she went in for the kill.
"And these are just partial expenses before the baby comes," she reminded him. "There's also things we need to get for the baby itself – clothes, furniture, essentials like bottles and diapers…That's another thing you wouldn't believe how expensive it can be. Then, of course, there's the cost after the baby is born – medical shots, food, more diapers…Extra medical bills for when the baby is sick…"
He nodded, waving his hand slightly in a silent gesture of acknowledgement. "Okay, okay, I get it – babies are expensive," he said hastily.
She gave him a knowing look. "Booth, really…" she sighed, running a hand through her hair. "We're only teenagers. And though I want to keep this baby, I don't expect anything out of you."
He shot her a look. "I already told you…"
She nodded. "I know," she interrupted. "I know you said you want to be there. And I know you love me, Booth, really I do. I just…I wanted to show you what we'd be going through. I'd rather have you back out now than later…It'd be messier if you were to wait."
Taking his hand, she squeezed it comfortingly. "I'd understand it if you wouldn't want to stick around, Booth," she assured him, even if it pained her to say it. "This is all a very big deal, a very big commitment. I would understand."
He gazed into her pretty blue eyes – one of the first things about her that he'd fallen in love with. "Can I ask you something?" he asked her quietly. At her nod, he questioned, "Do you not want me to be a part of this?"
She looked genuinely shocked. "What? Why would you ask me that?" she asked, blinking owlishly at him.
He shrugged. "You seem so adamant that I step down," he pointed out. "I can't help but wonder…"
She shook her head. "Booth, no," she denied immediately, her voice a soft whisper. "I love you, and I'd love for you to be there…Sometimes, when I look at you and when I have you right next to me, this doesn't seem as scary as it is when I'm alone…"
He smiled slightly at her shy confession, bringing her closer to his side.
"But I just…I know what I'm getting into, and the sacrifices I'll have to make…And I've mostly accepted that," she nodded determinedly. "I just don't want you to promise me things then feel as though you have to honor those promises while resenting me for it…I can't stand it if you…If you hate me someday because of this…"
She had started to tear up again and she choked on her words, eyes glittering brightly with her tears. Shushing her, he gathered her into his arms and cuddled her close. "Bones…" he whispered, looking down at her with concerned eyes. "Please don't doubt my love for you," he pressed a kiss to her forehead, his hands cupping her face and his thumb brushing at the drops of tears leaking from her eyes. "Please don't ever doubt my love for you," he murmured into her hair.
Pulling back, both his hands now framing her cheeks, he rested his forehead against hers and looked deeply in her eyes. "I will never regret you," he said fiercely. "I will never regret anything about us. And I will never resent you – or our baby. You got that?"
She nodded, too overcome with emotions to speak. She closed her eyes for a moment to stem the tears but her efforts were fruitless. Sniffling, she held onto him and let herself cry for a minute in his arms.
The moment she was composed enough, Booth pulled her closer to give her soft, slow kisses, reassuring her of his love for her, his commitment to their baby and their changed but still solid future.
"I wanna be there for it all, Bones," he whispered into her mouth. "All the expensive appointments and the ton of diapers and the days when we feel like we wanna tear our hair out of our scalp…"
She chuckled a little at that and even though she still sounded tearful, he prided himself in making her laugh.
"I love you and nothing's going to change that…So I'm going to be there," he promised her confidently. "Okay?"
She bit her lip and though she still looked a little uncertain, she nodded anyway.
Booth took a deep breath. She still looks like she needs convincing, he observed. I need to do this now. It's the perfect opportunity. I need to show her just how much I mean my words.
He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a square box. "Bones, there's…There's something I want to do," he said, gathering up as much courage as he could find within himself. "Please hear me out before you say anything…"
She frowned confusedly. "What is that?" she asked him.
"I got this for you for our six month anniversary," he admitted. "But I didn't know whether it was the right time for it and I was way too nervous so I…I chose not to give it to you. I gave you the necklace instead."
Automatically, her hand shot out to the gold heart she was still wearing around her neck. His eyes didn't miss her action, and a small smile tugged at his lips.
"Why do you have it with you now?" she asked him, her eyes darting from his face to the box back and forth.
He shrugged. "I take it with me everywhere I go," he said with a slight blush. "I…Don't really know why." Flipping the lid of the jewelry box open, he revealed to her the ring inside.
She reeled back, her head snapping up as she stared at him in shock.
"It's a promise ring," he clarified. "After flaking out on our anniversary, I thought of giving this to you after graduation…But now, I think it's the perfect timing."
She eyed him warily. "Promise ring?" she repeated. At his nod, she cleared her throat and asked in a deceptively calm voice, "What exactly are you promising me?"
He took in a deep breath. "Before all of this," he waved his hand to gesture around them. "Before the baby, that is, I was going to promise you that college isn't going to change our relationship. It isn't going to change me. I'm always going to be faithful and loyal to you and I'm always going to be there for you."
She quirked an eyebrow. "And now…?" she prompted, almost dreading his answer too much.
"And now…" he inhaled deeply. Gathering his courage, he looked her deep in the eyes and gave her the biggest, most genuine smile he could muster up. "Marry me, Bones."
She stared at him, mouth hanging open.
He gave her a few moments to collect herself, knowing that he had dropped a pretty big bombshell on her, but when several minutes started to tick by without her saying a single word or moving a single muscle, he started to get worried.
"Bones?" he called out gently. "Bones…Say something."
"Uh…" she blinked a few times. "What would I even say?" she asked, covering her eyes with her fingers.
"How about 'yes'?" he pushed his luck.
She removed her hands from her eyes to glare at him. "How about 'no'!" she snapped at him, jumping to her feet.
He followed suit, frowning as she began to rant angrily. "I can't believe you would do this to me!" she was saying, though he wasn't entirely sure she was talking to him. "This is the most ridiculous, most asinine thing I have ever heard in my life! What, like a proposal at a time like this is what we need to fix things! If anything, it just makes things worse!"
He tried not to let how badly her words hurt him show, but his heart felt like it had been ripped raw. Staring at her with a crushed look in his eyes, he couldn't help but retort, "I didn't know being married to me was so disgusting to you, Bones."
She stopped ranting long enough to look at him. The emotion in his dark eyes made her falter for a moment but the absurdity of what he was asking overpowered everything else. "Booth, you just asked me to marry you!" she threw her hands up in the air in frustration. "How could you think that would be a good thing!"
"I don't know, Bones," he spat out. "Maybe I thought being married to the love of my life would work out for me. How silly of me to think that at all."
She shook her head. "You don't want to be married to the love of your life," she argued.
"Oh, I don't?"
"No!" she yelled. "You want to be married to the mother of your child!"
His angry response died on his lips and he stared at her in shock.
"And I get it, Booth," she continued heatedly, oblivious to his stunned state. "I know you have morals and values instilled in you by Pops and by your religious beliefs but I…I can't marry you just to ease your guilt. I can't do that. I…God, that would be so wrong, Booth! I'm sorry but I don't even believe in marriage. And even if I'm okay with getting married for nothing more than sentimental reasons, we can't get married now, Booth! Are you insane! We're still teenagers! God, I'm fifteen! What..?"
Cupping the back of her head in his palm and her soft, porcelain cheek in his free hand, he tilted her head gently and, before she knew it, he had slanted his lips over hers in a passionate, loving kiss. Effectively halting her words, he kissed her with all that he had, silently reminding her of how very much in love he was with her.
Pulling away when they were both gasping, Booth couldn't help the swell of emotion in his heart at the sight of her sparkling eyes and the pink flush of her cheeks…They hadn't kissed for a week before today and this was the first real, passionate kiss they'd had since his birthday.
He swiped his thumb gently over her reddened cheek. "Bones, I'm not asking you to marry me out of moral obligation," he told her in a soft voice. At her look of disbelief, he cracked a small smile and continued, "I would've asked you to marry me at some point in our future, Bones, because that's what I want with you. Sure, yeah, I imagined us being older when I asked – out of college, maybe, and ready to take on the real world together."
She frowned at him. "Real world?" she asked, bewildered. "There's only one world, Booth, and that's Earth. You do know that, right?"
He chuckled lightly. "See? I love that about you," he said, pulling her close. "I love that you're so literal about everything and that you always try to connect everything to science and logic, and you freak out when you can't. I love your every little quirk. I love the picture of us that I can see in twenty, thirty, forty years from now. Sixty years from now, I can see us, old and gray and wrinkly and sitting on some ratty porch drinking iced tea and watching a bunch of happy grandkids playing around in the yard…And, yeah, I know you might say no to me because you might not be able to see that picture just yet but I'll keep asking until you say 'yes', even if I won't get it out of you until I'm on my death bed."
She wrapped her arms around his middle and buried her face in the crook of his neck to hide the tears welling in her eyes. "Booth…" she murmured into his skin.
He rubbed her back comfortingly. "And, yes, I'll admit that if you're not pregnant right now, I'd have waited a few years to ask you for the first time," he admitted after a few silent moments, pulling back to look her in the eyes. He wanted her to see the honesty in his eyes. "So, yeah, Bones, the reason I'm asking you now is because of the baby…"
When she tried to turn her face away from him, he gently gripping her chin in his hand and kept her head still. Eyes locked on hers, he continued, "But it doesn't change the fact that I am…So in love with you, Bones. I'm so crazy, madly in love with you. And there's nothing I wouldn't do for you and for our baby. I wanna marry you – now, ten years from now, it doesn't matter. I want to have it all with you."
He held out the open ring box to her. "For right now, I want you to just consider what I'm asking of you," he said soothingly. "I know it's a lot and I know you have every reason to doubt that it'll work. But I'm begging you – think of us getting married right now. We could keep our baby without social services getting in our way. We could be free to be together. And I know we could make it work, baby, I just know it."
"Booth," she murmured. "Teenagers don't get married. There's a reason for that. We're not… Mature enough to handle all of this, Booth. One grown up thing to deal with is hard enough. We can't add a baby and marriage to the list."
"Commitment, monogamy…Marriage…It's a choice, Bones," he insisted. "I choose you. I'm never gonna choose any differently. That's how sure I am of us. I choose you. Please choose me, too."
At her stunned, slightly skeptical expression, he sighed.
"Just think about it," Booth begged. "Please? You can make one of those pro and con lists you like so much and you can think about the 'what if's. While you're doing all of that…Could you maybe just consider how amazing it would be if we manage to get through all of this unscathed? If we were to get married and raise this baby and become kick-ass forensic anthropologist slash basketball player parents…How incredible would that be?"
She laughed tearfully, shaking her head fondly at him.
He took out the ring and slid it gently onto her right ring finger. She stopped laughing, her breath caught in her throat as she watched him. "No matter what your answer is, Bones," he murmured, keeping his eyes locked on hers. "I'm promising you now to always be there for you. If you say 'no'…I'm still going to be here."
She nodded, her eyes dropping to the ring for a fraction of a second. "And if I say yes…" she prompted almost fearfully.
He allowed a small smile to grace his lips. Despite the grave expression he wore, Temperance could see in his eyes the flicker of happiness beneath the fear. "It would be the happiest moment of my life," he answered honestly. "The most frightening and the most life-changing…And I'm pretty sure I'll throw up a few times…But happy, too."
She smiled weakly. "Booth…" she cleared her throat. "I know you're making all these promises-"
"And I mean each one," he said vehemently.
She nodded. "I know you do," she soothed. "But no matter how much you try to deny it, there's still a part of you that made those promises because of your religion and your morals. I just want you to know…If, in the future, after we've both thought about things…If you want to take this ring back...I'm okay with it."
He opened his mouth to argue but she shook her head, pressing her fingers to his lips to silence him. "No, listen to me," she urged. "A baby is a lot of responsibility. And I'm not saying 'yes' – just to be clear – but so is a marriage. It would be extremely hard for both of us to keep up with that big of a promise."
Cupping his face in her hands, she said, "If I'm going to think about saying 'yes' and what it would mean for the both of us, then I want you to think about saying 'no'."
He shook his head. "I'm not going to say 'no'," he said stubbornly. "I'm not the kind of guy to back out of my promises, Bones, you know that. I would never say no. Not to you, Bones."
She smiled slightly, resting their foreheads against one another. "Booth, please," she whispered. "Promise me you'll at least think about it? Think about what our lives would be like…"
He hated the very thought of what both of them saying 'no' would mean – there would be hell to pay, for sure, once she started to show and people found out. He was still shaking over the thought of what the state would do to them and to their baby. He shuddered at the thought that anyone had the right to take away his child just because the mother of his baby was in the system.
And though he knew that despite the fact that, a week ago, he would've scoffed at the idea of being married so young in life, he knew that he would be incredibly heartbroken if she refused and turned him down.
Despite that, he nodded. Sighing heavily, he agreed to her request, "I will."
She exhaled, the tiniest relief granted to her.
Holding her close, Booth nuzzled her nose with his in a loving Eskimo's kiss. "We'll figure this out, Bones," he promised on a soft whisper. "Together."
And even though she was still wrecked with worry, Temperance found herself melting into his embrace, feeling as though her burden was lightened for the very first time, thanks to Booth.
November 30, 1991.
"Tempe, are you going to drink that?" Christine Brennan asked eleven year old Temperance, nodding at the glass of orange juice in front of her.
Temperance continued to sulk, arms crossed over her chest as she glared at the yellow liquid. "How come I can't have coffee?" she demanded of her mother.
Christine stifled an exasperated smile. Temperance had asked the same question every day ever since Russ had started drinking coffee. "Baby, you know why," she chided gently.
Temperance turned her sulky glare to her sixteen year old older brother. "Russ drinks it," she pointed out.
Russ, who was sipping the concoction, grinned at his little sister. "Not until I turned sixteen, kid," he reminded her. Chuckling as she huffed in irritation, he ruffled her hair as he passed her by.
"Hey, kids," Matthew Brennan greeted Russ and Temperance as he entered the kitchen, briefcase in hand as he prepared to leave for his day at school as the science teacher. "Good morning, sweetie pie," he teased Christine as he placed his briefcase on one of the chairs at the kitchen table and spun her into his arms.
Christine laughed and playfully smacked her husband on the arm. "Yeah, I don't think so," she scolded him without heat. "Need I remind you the fiasco involving the 'honey bun' pet name?"
Going along with her teasing, Matthew pretended to shudder. "Don't want that happening again," he joked.
Temperance watched, her eyes sparkling and her smile growing as her parents gazed into each other's eyes lovingly and kissed.
Russ scowled at his parents and made gagging noises, prompting them to break apart. Though they'd pulled away from their kiss, Christine remained in Matthew's arms, the bright grin on her face matching his. "Do you guys have to be so gross?" Russ asked them disgustedly. "There are other people in the room. Plus, we eat here."
Temperance frowned at her brother. "I don't see the relevance of that statement," she told him in that 'know-it-all' tone he never failed to roll his eyes at. "Besides…I like it when mom and dad hug and kiss each other. It means they still like each other. Marla said that her mom and dad fight a lot and sometimes they throw things."
Russ' brows furrowed together. "Marla?" he asked. "That weird kid from down the block?" He chuckled, shaking his head. "Trust you to make friends with the strangest people."
She scowled at him, and Christine glared at him, thwacking him on the back of the head. "Be nice, Russell," she scolded. "Marla is very nice. I saw her once or twice a week in the library and she always stops by to chat."
Russ rolled his eyes.
"Well, I'm glad one of you isn't completely physically ill at the sight of your mother and I together," Matthew said dryly, changing the topic subtly.
Russ snorted. "Give her a few years," he promised his parents. "She'll get there."
Christine laughed when Temperance pouted at her brother. "No, I won't!" she argued. "I like mom and dad being all mushy."
Russ raised his eyebrows. "Well, be careful," he warned her. "If they get too mushy and hug too much, they might get a baby…"
Christine stared at Russ, shocked. "Russ!" she exclaimed, cheeks flaming. She glared when her husband merely laughed, pouring himself a cup of coffee.
Temperance's eyes lit up. "A baby?" she asked excitedly. "I'm getting a new sibling?" She paused. "Does this mean we have to get rid of Russ first?"
Russ reeled his head back. "Me?" he asked. "Why do we have to get rid of me?"
Temperance shrugged. "The baby needs a room," she pointed out. "And I'm keeping mine."
He rolled his eyes. "Don't be too sure of that," he said in a low voice meant to spook her with. "Once the baby comes, you won't be the baby anymore."
She scoffed. "Please," she said as though she were a snooty teenager. "I'm not a baby. I'm eleven."
"Then they might get rid of you instead of me," he pointed out.
She shook her head. "No way! I'm nicer than you. And I do all my chores. And I get good grades. And I've never been grounded before," she stated proudly.
"Well-"
"Okay, okay!" Christine stepped in, shooting both her children a look. "You do realize you're arguing about a baby that doesn't exist?"
Temperance frowned. "We're not getting a new baby?" she asked, disappointment lacing her words.
Christine smiled at her gently, brushing Temperance's hair back from her face. "No, sweetheart, I'm sorry," she said softly.
Temperance grew quiet for a few moments before her eyes lit up with another idea. "Can we get a puppy instead?"
Christine shared a look with Matthew. "Um…Maybe, princess," Matthew answered vaguely.
"I'm not a princess," Temperance corrected him. "I'm a little girl. And I'm very responsible. I'll walk the puppy and feed the puppy and take baths with the puppy…"
Christine cringed.
"But Russ can help the puppy poop," she decided. "I'm too young to know what to do."
Russ shook his head. "Oh, no," he said. "Your puppy, your responsibility. I'm not going to help your dog take a sh-"
"Russ!" Matthew interjected this time, a glare sent his son's way.
Russ fell silent.
Christine sighed and hugged Temperance to her. "We'll see, okay?" she said to her daughter, knowing she and Matthew had to come up with an excuse for not wanting to bring in any little furry animals into the house – Matthew just wasn't a fan and Christine knew that despite Temperance's responsible attitude, Christine would somehow end up doing most of the work.
Temperance nodded. "Okay," she said brightly.
Matthew, looking at the time, drained the last of his coffee, placed the empty mug in the sink and turned to face his children. "Okay, let's go," he clapped his hands together. "It's time to leave or we'll all be late."
Russ, glad that he was now a licensed driver, snatched up his school bag and the keys to the restored car he'd bought off his friend's brother. "I'm going," he called out.
Matthew laughed as Christine called Russ back in for a goodbye kiss.
"Ready to go, baby?" he asked Temperance.
Temperance nodded. "Do we have time for me to go upstairs and brush my teeth again?" she asked Matthew – she was relentless when it came to dental hygiene and the last thing she wanted was to spend the rest of the day with remains of her breakfast stuck in her teeth.
Matthew nodded. "Sure, sweetheart," he smiled. "But hurry back, okay?"
Temperance nodded, slipping out of her seat and darting out of the kitchen. She could hear her mother calling for her to stop running in the house.
She brushed her teeth as quickly as she could, patted her face dry, ran a brush through her hair once more and went back downstairs.
She heard laughter and soft voices as she reached the kitchen. Hiding behind the wall, she peeked through the doorway. A smile instantly came to her lips when she caught sight of her parents, arms entwined around each other once more, foreheads pressed together and their lips brushing against one another every few seconds.
She noticed the same soft, loving smile on her mother's face that she had seen each and every time Christine looked at Matthew. Matthew was gazing at her as though she was the most precious thing in the whole world.
Every time Temperance caught her parents having these 'moments;', her heart would beat faster. She loved that her parents were so in love – even if she was slightly dubious that anyone could love someone so deeply to begin with – but she was envious of the bond they shared.
She knew that the love she felt for her parents and for Russ was different than the love her parents shared for each other.
She had once asked Christine what it felt like to be in love and her answer – 'a spinning, unbelievably beautiful feeling that makes you so thankful and so happy and feel like you're walking on air…It takes your breath away each time you see him. That's how it feels.' – had made Temperance wonder if her mother was spinning tales. And, if she wasn't, Temperance coveted such a feeling so very badly.
Maybe it was loneliness that made think so much about love and the boy that would snatch her heart one day in the distant future. Apart from her family, she didn't really have anyone…Unless she counted Marla, and even she wasn't a close friend, just someone she talked to from time to time.
Whatever it was, Temperance could imagine herself, twenty years into the future, a renowned anthropologist, married to another brilliant scientist, spinning around the kitchen like her parents were at that moment, breathlessly in love.
Temperance started awake. Blinking her eyes a few times, she waited a few moments for her vision to adjust to the darkness. Turning her head to her left, she looked at her alarm clock. The bright numbers read two forty five in the morning.
Dropping her head back on her pillow, she sighed heavily, running a hand down her face. Feeling the cool metal scrubbing against her skin, she pulled her hand away from her face and stared down at the silver ring still on her right ring finger.
For reasons unknown to her, she had yet to take it off from when Booth had placed it on her two days ago.
If Pops or Jared had seen it, they hadn't said a word about it, though she did catch Pops' worried glance towards her and Booth yesterday afternoon.
She traced the ring with her finger, frowning thoughtfully at it.
While the memory of her childhood had been present the past couple of days – and had revolved around her parents' marriage and loving relationship ever since Booth's proposal – she was no longer the same little girl who desired the same life her parents had lived together.
For the longest time, she had lost faith in family, in love, in anything good. She had been so drenched in darkness, in hopelessness, that she hadn't even dared to believe in the slightest bit of luck coming her way by the time Booth appeared in her life.
Now it was almost a year later and here she was, pregnant and considering a marriage proposal at the age of fifteen.
Unlike the innocent eleven year old in her memories, she was no longer a believer of things like everlasting love and marriage. She had never truly believed in the traditional views on marriage, having not understood them when she was younger. As she grew older, and the meanings became clearer, she'd thought of them as archaic. Some of them even offended her inner feminist.
And while she did experience the breathlessly beautiful love that her mother had talked about, she wasn't so certain of monogamy. How often had she heard or read about spouses who cheat on one another? Could she really survive the heartbreak of that happening to her, especially when her spouse would be Booth?
Of course, with Booth, she knew he wasn't the type of guy to cheat. Not physically, anyway. He could still cheat emotionally. It wasn't completely ludicrous to imagine that someday, he'd find some other woman he'd fall madly in love with. His Catholic beliefs would restrain him from getting a divorce but what good was it being in a loveless marriage? She wouldn't be able to stand the thought that Booth was staying with her out of religious obligation while his heart now metaphorically belonged to another woman.
She knew he was a man of strong morals and it wasn't that she didn't trust him – he was the one person in her life that she could say with certainty that she trusted explicitly with her life – but it was more that she didn't trust herself. What if she wasn't enough for him? What if she couldn't provide him with what he needed? What if they grew apart?
Sighing, Temperance slowly sat up in bed, knowing she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep for some time now.
Thinking back to the memory of her parents holding each other close in the kitchen of their old home, Temperance couldn't help but smile. She could remember other moments of Christine and Matthew together – dancing in the living room, cuddling close together around the campfire during a family camping trip, a kiss goodbye as they left the house that was laced so blatantly with love and adoration…Simple, everyday moments that were so much more meaningful because they loved each other greatly.
She had questioned her father, too, once on his views on marriage. She had been twelve and curious. Her parents were so different. Her mother was a woman of faith, her father a man of science. She knew Matthew didn't believe in God, and though he could appreciate the irony in signs, he didn't believe in that, either.
'Why would you get married if you don't even believe in it?' she had wondered. 'Oh, I believe in marriage,' Matthew had corrected her. 'I don't believe in that traditional crap or the religious parts of it. But I believe in your mother. I believe in us. So, you know, getting married…It wasn't a hard decision to make. I love her. If this is what she believes in, then so be it.'
He had leaned in closer, then, and said to her, 'Do you want to know a secret? The sight of your mother on our wedding day is, to this day, the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed.'
I might not believe in the sanctity of marriage and hold onto the same beliefs Booth does, Temperance thought to herself. But I can believe in the sanctity of Booth and Bones.
Placing her hands on her growing baby bump, Temperance smiled to herself. Besides, maybe our baby would benefit from a stable home environment…
Her decision made, she kicked off the covers and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Slipping out of her room, she crept down the dark hallway, past Birdie snoozing outside of Booth's closed door, and slipped inside his room.
She woke him up by shaking his shoulders roughly. He blinked blearily up at her. "Wha…Bones?" he swallowed to get rid of the dryness in his mouth, grimacing. "What time is it?"
"Three," she answered on a dismissive whisper. "Can you get up?"
He groaned. "Three? In the morning? Dammit, Bones, these morning wake-up calls have really got to stop," he chided.
She ignored that, grabbing his shirt off the floor and tossing it at him. "Get dressed," she told him. "I want to go to the lake."
For the first time, he took note of the serious undertone in her voice. Eyeing her speculatively – she was still roaming about his room, grabbing whatever clothes she could find and throwing them on his bed for him to put on – he slowly sat up. Why would she want to go to the lake this late? He wondered to himself. Heart racing, he ignored the obvious answer – something pertaining to his proposal – and hurriedly shucked on his clothes.
They made it to the lake in record time – with practically no other vehicle on the road, Booth sped faster than he had ever done before in his life. Temperance didn't berate him on his lack of respect for driving laws for once, as eager as he was to reach the lake.
The moment they were standing before the crystal lake, painted black due to the night, Temperance looked at Booth, beamed and blurted out, "Yes."
"Huh?"
Unperturbed by his lack of response, Temperance repeated her answer, her words coming out a little rushed due to her eagerness, "Yes, I'll marry you."
He did a double take at her. "Wha…Really?" he asked, in a state of shock.
He had expected her to say the exact opposite, maybe spew on a little on how marriage was an archaic institution, that he had prepared himself fully for her rejection. What he hadn't prepared himself for was her acceptance – and her saying 'yes' was just as mind-blowing as her saying 'no'. Maybe even more so.
She nodded, the bright smile still on her face. "Yes," she said again. "I think we should get married."
He stared at her. "Really?" he repeated, still in shocked.
Her excitement seemed to diminish slightly. "Do you….Have you changed your mind?" she asked him, her tone much more subdued.
That snapped him out of it.
"No, no, of course not," he rushed to assure her, stepping closer to wrap his arms around her. "I just…I expected you to say no. I had this whole speech planned to try and convince you. I'm just stunned you said yes – but definitely happy about it."
She smiled at him, offering, "You can still give me the speech if you want. I'll even take back my 'yes' if you'd like…"
He chuckled, the warmth of it sliding through Temperance's body like hot chocolate on a cold winter's night. "Don't you dare," he mumbled teasingly, pulling her even closer for a sweet kiss. "I love you, Bones. I love you so much."
"I love you, too," she said smilingly.
Pulling back, Booth reached for her right hand, swiftly sliding the ring off her finger. She stared at him, confused by his actions. She was about to ask him when he took hold of her left hand and slid the promise ring onto her ring finger.
Lifting her hand to his lips, he pressed his lips to the skin just above the silver band. "There," he murmured. "Perfect."
She blushed slightly under the scrutiny of his eyes.
"Should we tell Pops in the morning?" she asked him, snuggling close to him in an effort to stay warm – it was the middle of the night, in November, in Chicago. She clearly hadn't thought this trip out very much.
He rubbed his hands up and down her back, feeling her slight shiver against the cold. "No," he replied after some thought.
She looked up at him. "We have to soon," she reminded him. "I have a baby bump."
He grinned slightly. "I know," he nodded. At her raised eyebrow, he hastened to explain, "I saw it a few days ago when we were here."
She nodded. "Right," she muttered, once again reminded of how long it had been since they'd made love. It was the least of her priorities, especially these days, but the thought couldn't help popping into her mind every once in a while. She supposed it was a result of them indulging a little too much in their carnal urges before life had given them a reality check in the form of an insanely huge consequence.
That's not the only result of our indulgence, she thought wryly, hand gently pressed against her small bump, her fingers gently stroking it.
"By my calculations," she said. "I'm about two months along. We have to tell Pops before it's too late."
He sighed. "You're probably right," he murmured. He wanted to add that they should probably get married before she started to show and other people outside their family started to realize their 'little' secret, but he didn't want to risk her losing her sudden euphoria and reverting back to panic, fear and denial.
As it was, she was already getting a worried look in her eyes as she chewed on her lower lip.
He brushed back some wayward strands of hair from her face, smiling gently at her when she looked up at him. "How about we tell him on Sunday?" he suggested, cupping her cheek in his hand and gently tugging at her bottom lip with his thumb to release it from her teeth. "After church? We'll leave today just for ourselves."
"Just between us?" she asked, relief lightly coloring her tone.
Even though she knew they had to come clean with Pops – and maybe even get his help considering neither of them knew what to do to get married considering their age – she couldn't help feeling slightly better that they had at least one day to themselves.
She was far too worried about what to say to the man who had given her a shelter and a safe place to live for the first time in a long time. She was too terrified of the disappointment he'd undoubtedly have towards her. Maybe her stomach would settle slightly within a day.
He nodded and she smiled wider. "Okay," she murmured quietly Raising up on her tip toes, she pressed her lips to his in a sweet, thankful kiss. "Could we head back?" she asked him, a little sheepish now for dragging him out here in the middle of the night for a conversation they could've had at home. "I'm sorry. I'm just…Getting kinda cold."
He chuckled. "Me, too," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Come on. I don't want you or baby to freeze."
She smiled slightly at his words.
As they made their way back to his car, their sides pressed together to keep warm, Booth broke the silence. "Can I ask you something?"
"Mmhm."
"You were pretty set against marriage the last time we spoke about this," he reminded her needlessly. "Why did you suddenly change your mind in the middle of the night?"
She was quiet for a long time before she answered. "My parents," were the only words she spoke but the heaviness of her voice and the look in her eyes as she briefly glanced his way told him everything she couldn't say out loud.
Booth pulled her in snug against him and pressed a kiss atop her head, a silent way for him to tell her 'I understand.'
A small smile appeared on her lips and her arm wound around his waist, even as she continued to look ahead of them. 'Thanks. I love you.'
I told you that the pregnancy had been decided since the moment this idea came to me. The same goes for the marriage twist. Whether or not Booth and Temperance get married has already been decided the moment this story was a tiny little fledgling idea running rampant in my head, and I firmly believe nothing will change my mind about it.
I think that what Booth proposed to Temperance (pun totally intended) was completely believable for his character, even if he's only 17 years old here. He's Seeley Booth, for God's sake, and the sense of character I got from him earlier in the series (you know, before they mangled everything up…No, I'm not letting that go anytime soon) made me believe that he WOULD do such a thing.
Even at the young age of 17, Booth was a religious person. He had been Catholic since he was born. He'd been an altar boy. He goes to church every Sunday. He prays and gets insulted when Temperance calls God 'imaginary'. He's got strong faith. I don't think it's too farfetched to believe that he'd even consider marriage and all that when he finds out Temperance is pregnant.
In canon, he asked Rebecca to marry him when she got pregnant with Parker, didn't he? He might not have been spinning, madly-in-love with her like he is with Brennan, but he'd loved her enough.
Though his actions with Rebecca were done for 'the right reasons' – which I believe partly fuelled his actions here, too – he has other reasons as well. There's the fact that he's in love with Temperance, as was mentioned in the chapter itself, then there's mentions of social services which will he touched upon in future chapters.
For the record, yes, I do know that there's another way for Booth and Temperance to keep the baby: emancipation from the state. Temperance could be an emancipated minor and social services wouldn't be able to say anything at all. This would be touched upon in a later chapter, of course.
Also, I do not know for a fact what social services would do if they found out that not only were Booth and Temperance dating but she is now pregnant with his child. I'm just assuming that they wouldn't allow her to stay with Booth and his family, nor would they allow her to keep her baby because she's still a minor in the system…How would that even work? Every time they place her in a foster home, they'd have to move the baby, as well? Is the baby considered a foster child, too? Would they help her get emancipation? What?
I'm very interested in hearing what all of you have to say about that, however, and I appreciate every review that comes my way. I will do my best to respond to each and every one of them.
Thank you for reading (including this ridiculously long A/N) and please feel free to drop a line or two to tell me what you thought of this chapter. As usual, chapter 35 of WYL will be up tomorrow.
P.S. I know this chapter was shorter than usual but I wanted to keep everything with Pops for another chapter. This one seemed to focus primarily on Booth's question, Temperance's answer and their decision, that I felt like I had to leave it where I did. I hope you don't mind.
P.P.S. Also, I have no idea how much labor and delivery cost in 1991. That's just an estimate…I'm sorry if I'm way off.
P.P.P.S. (Is that even right?) Please note that, along with this chapter of BOF, I am going to post chapter 34 of Where You Lead. It will be the first WYL original chapter and I'd appreciate it if you could spare some time to read it.
Thank you.
Juliet.