Chapter Thirty-Five

Now all the stars have gone

Faded into cracks and dawn

And I'm still waiting here

Waiting for you to come home

I am waiting here

Waiting for you to come home

Waiting by Norah Jones

Steve glanced down at the phone in his hand and debated himself.

It was late. But she usually stayed up late.

She was probably busy with work. But she'd told him to call with any questions.

Other than the quick 'text message' that Carter had helped Steve open (he hadn't remembered how from his previous phone lessons), Emily hadn't been in touch. On Monday, he'd expected it. She was probably catching up with her friends. And on Tuesday, Steve was sure that she was busy with the conference. But it was edging closer to eleven in New York that Wednesday, he was itching to call her. Just to see how her day had been. And…

If he was being honest with himself, Steve sighed, it was because he was lonely.

While Carter had made an extra effort to spend time with him, it wasn't the same. Steve missed looking up to see Emily chewing on her lip and staring intently at her work. More often than not, she'd have her hair pulled out of her face and her glasses would be halfway down her nose. He wanted her to lean closer to him while pointing at something in one of those binders, and explain some historical fact so that he could see her eyes light up.

"Hello?" Emily's laughing voice answered the phone.

"Hi," Steve said, his hand shooting to rub the back of his neck. He pressed his eyes shut and shook his head; it wasn't like Emily could see him right now.

"Hey! What's up?" There were voices in the background, and Steve thought he heard someone yell 'Em! Baby, come back to bed!'. It was confirmed when Emily quickly told that person to shut up.

"I…uh…just had some questions about the binders," he lied, "but if you're busy, it's-"

"We're just leaving the restaurant now. Mind if I call you back in about 20 minutes?"

"Yeah, sure, no problem."

"Ok, talk to you in a bit." Just before hanging up, Steve heard a wolf whistle and 'Hey baby'. Shaking his head, he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.

Twenty-seven minutes later, Steve's phone rang. Grinning, he hit the green button and lifted it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, sorry about that. Everyone wanted to go out of drinks and were trying to get me to go," Em sighed.

"Oh. You should have gone out. You didn't have to call me back."

"No!" she said quickly, hearing the guilt in his voice, "You were the perfect excuse to call it an early night. I'm exhausted." Steve chuckled.

"You must be tired if you're admitting it."

"I swear to god, I've become an old lady in these last few months. I don't know how these youngsters party all the time." They were quiet for a beat before they both started laughing. "But seriously," Emily giggled, "I don't think my liver can take drinking every night, especially having to get up at 9:00 every morning for a presentation."

"How's the conference going?"

"We'll get to that," she said, "but first, what were your questions?"

"Oh, erm," Steve sat up quickly and pulled the closest binder on his desk towards him. As quietly as possible, he rifled through the pages before stopping halfway through. "Uh…the Watergate scandal… I was wondering what that was all about."

"Steve?"

"Yes?"

"Did you happen to turn the next page?" he could hear the suppressed smile in her voice and felt himself flush. The next few pages looked like they contained very detailed notes on the Watergate scandal.

"Oh. Uh…"

"You don't have to make excuses to call, you know."

"I just," Steve sighed, "I didn't want to bother you. You're busy with your presentations and lectures, and –"

"I'm not too busy to talk to you." Smiling, Steve laid back on his bed, an arm under his head. "Did you have any actual questions, or was this just a ploy to call me?"

"Just a ploy," he said, chuckling at her teasing tone.

"Good, that means I can switch my brain off for the night."

"Can you do that?"

"I can try," she said. He furrowed his eyebrows when she sounded a bit further away. "And part of it starts with getting out of these business professional clothes. How are things there? Carter driving you nuts yet?"

"A bit. He's still not out on assignment and is getting antsy," Steve replied, actively trying to not picture Emily changing out of her clothes. A soft 'Mmhmm' came across the line. "He's acting strange, though."

"Oh?"

"He's not saying anything," Steve sighed, "but something's going on."

"Should I call him?" Emily asked, her concerned voice closer now.

"I'd give him some time." They were quiet for a moment, both trying to think of what could be bothering their friend. "How are things out there?"

"Crazy, as usual," she huffed. "I swear, we can never have a normal trip. Jan's luggage got lost, and she'd put her notes and presentation in the bag so she was freaking out about that. Of course, her roommate went home for the weekend and no one has the keys to her apartment, but thankfully the janitor let Philip into her office at the campus and she'd left a copy in there. She did hers yesterday. And then Brock's today was a fiasco. He had too much to drink last night…" Steve nodded, adding a comment here and there as she rambled on.

"You miss it, don't you?" he asked when she'd stopped talking. When he heard her yawn, he looked at his watch.

"Parts of it," she replied. "It's fun being in an academic setting again. And seeing the people from my department….well, most of them." Her tone made Steve frown, and he made a noise to signal her to continue. "It's just…there are things that I left at that university that are in the past. And some people are having trouble acknowledging that."

And then it clicked.

"That professor that you were seeing." Emily was quiet for a minute.

"Dave, yeah…"

"He's giving you trouble?"

"Nothing I can't handle," she said quickly. "It just that…I don't want people to know. And I'm already stressed enough with my lecture happening tomorrow, and I saw Dr. Doan walking around today, so I know the Q&A is going to be brutal. And, I'm done talking about that because I'm getting myself anxious again. Have you done anything fun while I've been gone?"

After assuring her that she'd do great, Steve told Em about his trip out to Brooklyn, where he'd wandered around trying to find places he recognized. And going to see Stark Tower where he had mistakenly thought a waitress was referring to wireless radio (Emily laughed and told him it was internet that she was talking about). And how Carter had tried to drag him out to a nightclub that he swore Steve would love.

"Has he said anything about going to Maine for the Forth of July?" Emily asked sleepily.

"No," Steve replied, stifling a yawn. "He hasn't said anything to me."

"My mom's trying to get a headcount for whose all going to be at the camp."

"I'll ask him."

"Thanks." Over their next break in talking, Steve heard Emily's breathing even out.

"Emily?" No answer. "Emily, are you awake?" Shaking his head, Steve walked across his own room and turned off the light before returning to bed and pulling back the sheets. Once he'd lain back down, phone still pressed to his ear, he smiled. "Good night, Honey."

OOO

"You're sure she won't mind?" Steve asked as he and Carter walked through the airport late Thursday morning.

"No, she'll be happy to see us," the agent grinned as they emerged from the terminal. He flagged down a taxi and gave them the name of the hotel Emily, and consequently they, were staying at. It had taken two day for him to come to the realization that there was only so much he and Steve could spar and watch movies before they became tired of each other's company. Carter had given Steve another day to suggest the trip himself, but when he hadn't, well…it had been time to intervene. "Besides, she has no right to ban us from a conference that's open to anyone willing to pay the fee. And it wasn't too smart of her not to bring you along. Imagine all of the lectures you could have sat in on! Really, she's impeding your education."

"If she does get mad, you're the one that's going to tell her that," Steve smirked. Once they'd arrived and checked, Carter inquired what room Emily was staying in. Although the woman was somewhat hesitant to give him the information, she eventually caved after much flirting on Carter's part.

"Easily done," Carter said as they walked to the elevator bank. Steve paused to look at the listing of presentations on the being held and quickly found Emily's. A quick glance at his watch told him that they still had two hours before her session would begin.

"Should we find her and let her know we're here?" Steve asked as they got on the elevator, accompanied by four other people dressed in professional wear.

"Absolutely not," Carter said quickly. "She'll kill us if we find her before her presentation. That girl is a bundle of nerves before she lectures in front of a large crowd."

"You just said she'd be happy to see us!"

"Yes, after," Carter rolled his eyes. "But it's probably better that she never know we're here. Now, we've got time to kill…Why don't we hit the bar?"

OOO

Emily paced her room, her note cards slapping the palm of her hand. "Selling the war as an explanation for foreign intervention…purchasing war bonds stimulated the economy… total war…utilization of women in factories…"

Her heart was pounding and her hands were shaking. Although she was somewhat thirsty, Em was afraid of drinking too much before going into the ballroom. Nervously, her hand patted the pocket of her blazer, assuring herself that the emergency flash drive was indeed there, just in case the presentation failed.

"Em?" there was a tentative knock on her door.

"Be right out," she squeaked before clearing her throat and repeating herself. After checking her hair (twisted into a knot with her bangs swooped to the side) and straightening her grey dress, Em gave a nervous smile and forced herself to take a deep breath. "Knock it off, Emily. You always psych yourself out before giving a lecture."

"Emily, come on!" Brock whined, hitting the door a bit harder. "I know what you're doing in there. You're going to be fine. Doan won't even-"

"Doan is here?!" Emily shrieked, throwing the door open.

"Oh," Brock said, "I thought June told you."

"Oh god, merde, fuck-"

"Hey! You're going to do great," her friend said, reaching out to pull her into a hug. "I mean, come on, you won the teaching award last year. You're a natural."

"Undergraduates, Brock," Emily sighed, burying her face in his shoulder. "They don't give a shit about what I'm lecturing on. This is Doctor Joseph Doan we're talking about. He's the lead in the field. He's-"

"A huge dickwad who needs to get his head out of his ass and realize that not everyone cares about what he says?"

"But I do care," Emily groaned. "Having him critique your work is like having Michelangelo look over your painting." Brock laughed as he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly.

"No, it's not. And even if it were, you'd have a rave review. Believe me, I've been privy to quite a few of your practice routines. And just think…Forth of July drinks right after!" Em smiled, thinking about celebrating after all of the stress was gone. In an hour, it would be over one way or another.

"Why aren't you straight?" she smirked, reaching up to peck his cheek.

"Hey, I've asked Mike if you could join, but he's against polyandrous relationships."

"Damn," Emily laughed.

OOO

"There she is," Carter nodded towards the elevator bank where Emily had just stepped out. Her arm was wrapped around the waist of a slightly heavy-set red headed man, and his arm was flung over her shoulders.

"Whose that she's with?"

"Brock Ligler, her former office mate. He's-"

"Funny, I know," Steve said, feeling a weight lifting off of his shoulder. Or, at least, until they'd joined a group of people milling about and one of the dark haired men attempted to hold her hand. As he watched, Emily quickly folded her arms across her chest and stepped closer to Brock.

"And that would be Dr. David Griffing, Emily's…ex-fling."

Steve raised an eyebrow as he studied the man who was his girl's former beau. He was tall and slim, and even from a distance he could tell that he had an ego on him. Even though Emily tried to avoid him, Dr. Griffing kept finding reasons to touch her; even going as far as having his hand brush her backside.

It took everything in him to not stride across the room and tell him to back off.

They waited for a bit longer until Emily and her group walked into the room where she'd be giving the lecture. As a precaution, they didn't go in right away but allowed the room to fill mostly up. "Is that Dr. Doan?" Carter frowned, peering over the crowd. Steve followed his gaze to where an elderly man with a potbelly was holding court with a group of older people.

"That's Doan?" Steve asked, eyes darting over the man's long silver hair tied back in a ponytail. A green shirt covered with palm trees peeked out from under his suit jacket.

"God, I hope Emily didn't see him."

"That's the man they were considering for Emily's job?"

"He's smarter than he looks," Carter shrugged.

"They made the better choice."

OOO

Steve clapped as the woman introducing Emily stepped back from the podium and shook Em's hand. She took a deep breath and smiled as she took her spot, placing a handful of cards on the podium and grabbing a small box.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Emily Harthorn and I will be discussing the utilization of propaganda by the US government during the Second World War. I'd like to thank the panel for taking the time to read my work, and for you being interested enough to come listen to me." There was a small amount of chuckling as Emily pointed the box at the screen behind her. "Prior to the country's involvement with World War II…"

Smiling, Steve crossed his legs and leaned forward to watch her talk. She was…impressive. This wasn't the sleep deprived history teacher who sat with him in the gym, but an academic who kept talking about the Herman and Chomsky conceptual propaganda model and its use in political economics, symbolism, positive correlations between data points, increased revenue, public ownership, and things he barely understood.

As he watched Emily walk across the stage, he smiled as a sudden realization hit him.

She was his rock.

Dr. Thompson had told him that he needed to find some reason for him to exist in this new time, something to ground him in the present. And Emily was that.

She was the perfect bridge between his time and this one. Emily didn't laugh when he didn't know something, was patient when he fumbled through using new technology, and was willing to give him space when he needed it.

Watching her, Steve understood why he had resisted being with her. Yes, part of it was for her protection, both physical and emotional. But the larger part had been about protecting himself.

He'd lost so much. With Peggy and Bucky and Howards…Morita and Dernier…Colonel Phillips and Dr. Erskine…his Mom and Pops… It was too much. Steve couldn't handle the thought of losing someone else that he loved.

It had taken Emily's absence to realize just how much she'd come to mean to him. Yes, he'd known that he loved her, but he hadn't realized how much. And, loathed though he was to admit, it scared him slightly. Steve had loved Peggy, he knew that, and would never forget her. But they hadn't had the time to know one another. With him constantly in the field, and her with Colonel Phillips, they'd had to rely on letters and stolen conversations to learn about each other.

With Emily, Steve smiled again as she motioned to the screen behind her, he'd had an abundance of time. They'd learned about each others past, likes and dislikes, families, childhood, dreams…

Time. He had time with her.

Emily wasn't going to disappear in the blink of an eye like everyone else had.

"You alright?" Carter asked, nudging Steve with his elbow.

"Yeah," Steve replied, grinning as his girl continued her lecture. When his own picture appeared on the screen, he could have sworn a faint smirk crossed her lips before she took a quick sip of water.

"Captain Steven Rogers," her extra emphasis on his rank made Carter chuckle, "was one of the most popular propaganda figures in 1943. His character, Captain America was the embodiment of the American patriotic duty to contribute to the war effort. Captain America was meant to draw forth an emotional response rather than an intellectual one. His posters, movies, and comic books emphasized his masculinity to boost enlistment numbers. His All-American good looks and manners," Steve saw her blush slightly, "helped to increase the number of war bonds sold and give a those without a loved one fighting overseas someone to emotionally connect with."

Beside him, Carter chuckled again as he saw Steve flush slightly. "'All-American good looks'? Eh, she's obviously biased." Steve lightly punched the Brit and returned his attention to Emily, who talked for another minute or so before concluding. It has lasted about fifteen minutes. "Now comes the fun part."

A rather fixed smile settled on Emily's lips as she turned to face the three person panel in front of the stage. "We just have a few questions for you, Dr. Harthorn," Dr. Doan said, leaning forward to look at his notepad full of scribbled notes.

"Of course," she replied, her voice slightly higher.

OOO

"That was great, babe," Dave said, pulling a reluctant Emily into his embrace. He'd somehow managed to find her before the rest of their group.

"Thanks," she sighed, disentangling herself and trying to ignore the lingering hand on her lower back slid lower. June squealed and flung herself at Em, telling her how well she'd done shooting down Doan's questions and proving him wrong.

"I mean, seriously, it's like you've got an inside source or something," June laughed.

"Don't I wish," Emily chuckled nervously. "But I'm ready for a drink."

"Preach!" Megan laughed, raising her right hand over her head. "I say we all change and meet down here in forty minutes. Remember: red, white, and blue is mandatory. We may not be at home but damn it, we're celebrating while we've got Emmie with us!"

"Thanks," Emily laughed as her friend threw an arm over her shoulder and gave her a quick squeeze. They dispersed, some heading right to their rooms and others spreading out to talk to other people they'd met. Quite a few people came to talk to Emily, who had an unwelcomed specter at her elbow the entire time. "You didn't have to wait for me," she whispered to Dave when she finally was free.

"I wanted to talk to you," he shrugged, trying to thread his fingers through hers again.

"Would you stop, please," she huffed, crossing her arms again as they waited for the elevator.

"Why do you care anymore?" he sighed. "It's not like you're a student or anything."

"Because I do," Emily snapped. Thankfully the elevator appeared and they joined the group piling inside.

"I just…I need to talk to you, Em," Dave hissed, leaning close to whisper in her ear. He folded his suit jacket over his arm.

"Can it wait?"

"No. You've been avoiding my calls and I'm leaving for the airport in an hour. I need it to be now."

"Fine," an exasperated Emily rolled her eyes. When they reached her floor, he followed her off of the elevator and down the hall. Dave refused to start the conversation until she'd opened the door to her room and motioned him inside. "What is it, Dave?"

As the door clicked shut, Dave tossed his jacket onto the bed and grabbed Emily's arm, spinning her so that her back was pressed against the wall. One hand wrapped around the back of her neck, forcing her head up as his lips crashed down on hers. Emily squeaked in protest, pushing against his shoulders as his free hand ran down her thigh and began to tug at the hem of her dress upwards. Quickly, her hands shot down to grab his and he took the momentary distraction as his chance to cup her left breast.

"Stop," Emily ordered as his lips moved to her neck, the tip of his tongue tracing over the pulse point there. Her involuntary gasp egged him on, and he kissed up her neck until he gently bit her earlobe. "Stop, Dave, STOP!"

"Come on, honey, I know you missed this."

"Fuck off," she spat, shoving hard against him. He stumbled backwards and frowned.

"Emmie, baby-"

"I AM NOT YOUR BABY!"

"Fine, fine!" Dave said quickly, throwing his hands up. "I get it, you don't want a quicky before my flight leaves." Emily turned red in the face and clenched her fists.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Room."

"Answer me this first. What are you actually doing in New York? Cause I sure as hell know you're not at NYU, cause no one I know there has heard of you."

Emily paled. She had completely forgotten that Dave had done his doctorate at NYU. Of course he would still know people there! Why hadn't she thought of that before?!

"Its…its none of your damn business," she stuttered. "Now get the hell out before I call the security."

"It's none of my business?" Dave demanded. "I've been covering for you since you left! I sure as hell deserve an explanation."

"I don't owe you anything.- STAY AWAY FROM ME!" When Dave took another step forward, Emily pulled back her fist and…

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Dave clutched his eye and howled as Emily ducked around him, grabbed her purse, and threw the door open. "You're a fucking psycho, you bitch."

"Yeah?" she said, pulling her keys out and quickly threading them through her fingers as she stepped out into the hallway. "Get the hell out of my room."

"Bitch," Dave muttered again, storming out. Em darted back into the room and grabbed his jacket.

"And take your fucking jacket with you!" she snapped, hurling it at him.

OOO

"Emily," Steve grinned as he answered his phone. "How'd it go?"

"Good," she replied, her voice sounding strained. "Better than I expected."

"Are you okay?"

"Just tired," she said. "Its kind of exhausting being so anxious all day."

"Are you sure that's all?"

"Yeah. Look, I'll tell you all about it when I get home tomorrow. I've got to get ready for dinner. I…" Steve frowned when she hesitated, "mis…I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright. And Emily?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss you too."

Author's Note: 1) I do not condone Dave's actions and they are never appropriate in any situation. 2) I am by no means an expert on propaganda. What is in this chapter was just BS that sounded good. 3) Yes, Carter and Steve were invited by Emily to spend the Fourth of July with the Harthorns.

Those disclaimers aside, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. As always, thanks to blown-transistor for being a sounding board and helping me get Steve's epiphany right. I wanted to try and get the two sides of Emily right, and it was a bit of a struggle. Er...can't think of much else to say in this one except yay for those of you who guessed that they would fly out to Denver! Oh, and happy belated Halloween.